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Custody of child of dying mother Washington

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  • Custody of child of dying mother Washington

    The original order was filed in Washington State but the mother lives in Texas. I had a child with another women, when I was married. We chose to have nothing to do with the mother or the child. She moved to Texas several years ago. We recently found out that she is dying with Cancer. We would like to take custody of the child when the mother dies. What should we do? Please advise, we would hate to see the child go to foster care or end up in bad home.

  • #2
    Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
    The original order was filed in Washington State but the mother lives in Texas. I had a child with another women, when I was married. We chose to have nothing to do with the mother or the child. She moved to Texas several years ago. We recently found out that she is dying with Cancer. We would like to take custody of the child when the mother dies. What should we do? Please advise, we would hate to see the child go to foster care or end up in bad home.


    How old is this child?

    Why is ripping the child from everything s/he knows and being placed with a complete stranger in the child's best interest?

    Comment


    • #3
      The child is 6 and I am the paternal Parent. While yes she does not know me. She would be loosing her Mother, and would well taken care of by her Father. The Mother has no parents and no family, meaning the child would be left to the oldest child to be taken care of.

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      • #4
        So after all these years you now want involvment in your child's life having had none until now? Are you the child's "legal" Father by legal I mean have you sign the birth documents? This is important!
        http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
          The child is 6 and I am the paternal Parent. While yes she does not know me. She would be loosing her Mother, and would well taken care of by her Father. The Mother has no parents and no family, meaning the child would be left to the oldest child to be taken care of.

          Well taken care of by the father who abandoned her? How old is the "oldest child"?

          You need an attorney. There is actually a good chance the child will indeed end up in the "system".

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          • #6
            Ok, first of all we chose to have no involvement, when I say we, I mean the Mother, my Wife and I. The situation has changed the Mother is dying and has less than a month to live. I don't have to be a lawyer to say, that is definitely extenuating circumstances. I am not an unfit Father by any means, I have always paid child support and have never been late, while raising 4 other children. I have a good stable job and a long residential history. Yes I am the Paternal Father, I have the test to prove it and I am list on the birth Certificate as the Father. The oldest sibling is 21 years old, still in school and just barley married. From what I know, she has no job and has been in and out of trouble. The only reason I never pursued my daughter before was because her mother was taking care of her and when she got older we would discuss visitation. She has been too young to understand who I am and what the circumstances were behind our decision at the time. The mother moved to Texas last year without telling me and I found out through friends that she is dying, so the Mother doesn't even know, I know. According to the custody agreement she was supposed to notify me and the State of Washington that she was moving. That alone would allow me to petition her to move back, should I motion for visitation now.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
              Well taken care of by the father who abandoned her? How old is the "oldest child"?

              You need an attorney. There is actually a good chance the child will indeed end up in the "system".
              There is no way the child will end up in the system, this is a legal forum.. at the least you should know what your talking about.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
                There is no way the child will end up in the system, this is a legal forum.. at the least you should know what your talking about.


                Actually, I do know.

                You wrote:

                According to the custody agreement she was supposed to notify me and the State of Washington that she was moving. That alone would allow me to petition her to move back, should I motion for visitation now.

                You have absolutely no idea how WA law works, do you? You're COMPLETELY mistaken.

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                • #9
                  Das ist in der Doktor!

                  Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
                  There is no way the child will end up in the system, this is a legal forum.. at the least you should know what your talking about.
                  I believe you have the best of intentions, and your concerns for the child are beyond reproach, but please try and understand, those who respond here are volunteers and DO know what they're talking about because they have experienced something very similar themselves, or know of someone close to them who has.

                  You are certainly incouraged to pay for the same advice you have received here for free.
                  If there are ANY discrepancies, PLEASE bring it to our attention so that we may all benefit
                  I only know of only one who was perfect,
                  and sadly,
                  he no longer walks on the face of this earth.
                  I wish you the best,
                  and I wish what's best for the child.
                  Good Day.
                  .._____________
                  ~ Free advice is like a public defender,
                  you get what you pay for.
                  Last edited by drruthless; 07-24-2012, 01:10 AM. Reason: !#@*&$#! spell check :)

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                  • #10
                    May I please elaborate on the whole relocation/giving notice issue?

                    Dad, please listen to me for a second.

                    Mom moved last year. That means at least 7 months ago. You did NOTHING about it at the time, so the way the WA courts will see it is that you condoned the move. You absolutely cannot fight the move now, nor can you use Mom's lack of notification as a tool to get the child back to Washington. It just doesn't work that way.

                    Next point - the sibling. The sibling is 21, and she's really the only relative your child knows. Therefore the sibling stands a better-than-decent chance of getting custody should she want custody, and failing that? The State may well decide that the child is better off with foster parents.

                    I'm sorry - and I rarely say this nor do I commonly support it - but this is one occasion where the court may decide that it's simply not in the child's best interest to be uprooted from everything she knows.

                    Specially when it involves a parent who (for whatever reason - the court won't care) has willfully abandoned said child.

                    And FINALLY - all you have is hearsay. You don't even have proof that Mom is sick, let alone terminal!
                    Last edited by Dogmatique; 07-24-2012, 01:40 AM.

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                    • #11
                      Well, Last night as you ladies were busy putting me down cause I'm a man, my daughters wife died. I received a phone call from a PI I hired to find her. And at the same my lawyer who appeared on my behalf because I am out of town on business, called to tell me we have won the temporary order to bring the child back to WA state. I have to appear Thursday to establish visitation.

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                      • #12
                        No they were looking at your situation as a stranger would. The three adults involved did what was easiest and best for them not the child.

                        I wish you the best of luck in the uphill battle of acclimating your grieving child into a household of strangers. I just hope your wife doesn't take her anger (about a child born to another woman during your marriage) out on the child.
                        Last edited by HRinMA; 07-24-2012, 07:22 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
                          Well, Last night as you ladies were busy putting me down cause I'm a man, my daughters wife died. I received a phone call from a PI I hired to find her. And at the same my lawyer who appeared on my behalf because I am out of town on business, called to tell me we have won the temporary order to bring the child back to WA state. I have to appear Thursday to establish visitation.


                          You're lying and you've just lost any and all credibility.

                          That's so very, very sad.

                          (If you need me to explain why, just holler)

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ttocsjf View Post
                            Well, Last night as you ladies were busy putting me down cause I'm a man, my daughters wife died. I received a phone call from a PI I hired to find her. And at the same my lawyer who appeared on my behalf because I am out of town on business, called to tell me we have won the temporary order to bring the child back to WA state. I have to appear Thursday to establish visitation.
                            If you are bringing a child back to your state, why do you need to establish visitation?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              That's what I was going to ask HRinMA - good question.
                              Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

                              Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

                              Comment

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