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  • Court, custody and corruption Arkansas

    I know this is long but it's about my children but the question is posted at the bottom. Thanks

    Since my daughter was only a few months old, every judge has basically ruled in my favor. Now my daughter is almost 5 and somehow my ex-husband had the judge who has been over our case all this time removed & replaced with a judge who happens to be friends with my ex-husband's lawyer. During our first hearing, I made this judge aware of concerns I had with my ex getting unsupervised visits. For 1, he has never been in our children's lives. He basically left us & never looked back even though our children have disabilities. My daughter has speech problems & my 2yr old son suffers from a bone disease, breathing problems & is unable to talk due to it. My son had been in the hospital numerous times & my ex would lie about coming to see him but has managed to not show up to any of the hospital or doctor visits. I also had concerns because my ex was abused when he was 4 & he even bragged to be during one visit that his son (our son) would have sex by the time he was 5. He was having sexual acts done to him & it has grown to such an addiction that on several occasions he was accused of being inappropriate with minors. Other concerns were that my ex has previous child endangerment charges on his record as well & during our marriage, I witnessed him refusing to take his child by another woman to the ER when she was having trouble breathing. I could not watch the child suffer so I went to take the child myself to the ER & it was only then that he got up to take her. He also has warrants and DUI's. He also was removed from his bus route because of accusations of him messing with minors in a sexual manner.

    I had written about my concerns on here as well as to DHS and Child Support supervisors long before my ex tried to get visits but the judge didn't even look at the letters. The judge gave my ex 3 months supervised visits & at the end we were supposed to come back to see if my ex was fit for unsupervised visitation. During the 3 months he missed 6 visits but I could only prove 4 because I checked in for him when he said he would be late because unlike him, I really wanted to give him a chance to be a father. I kept notes on things that happened during visits. On one visit, 2 men approached me because he saw my ex's car outside the restaurant & they were about to hurt my ex. My ex has been in trouble for borrowing money from people and not paying them back & I documented this in my notes but the judge didn't even look at it.

    After the 3 months I was expecting to go back to court. Instead I got papers for contempt. When we got to court, I ended up being found in contempt for missing 2 unsupervised weekends even though I bought proof that I was in the children's hospital 2 hours away with my child during that time. I also tried to explain concerns such as the child endangerment, DUI's, insurance and ID fraud (even fraud where I found he was illegally using my children's SS# to get benefits for himself when the children were living with me). I was ordered to pay his lawyer fees even thought the court was aware that I was representing myself because I could not afford representation of my own & legal aid could not represent me.

    Even with that order against me, I continued to deny my ex unsupervised visits because I felt my children were in danger. My son has medications & I knew he would not give my son his medication. I also feared for my children's lives & told the judge that in the contempt hearing. During one of our visits, he asked me if I would let him put the children on life insurance. He claimed he could place them in their car seats unbuckled to make it look like an accident. I was also scared because my ex had started drinking a lot after we split and he would have my children during the weekends when he was probably drinking the most.

    We went thru a number of contempt hearing from July until December of last year. I had no representation, the judge refused to record our hearing after my requests because the reason we were going thru all of this was because he forgot what he ordered in our previous hearings. They would have me come to court at 9 in the morning when there was a courtroom full of people & every single time my case was always last when there was no one else around but my ex, his lawyer & the judge. I fought it even willing to go to jail just to get this judge to listen. Even if the other stuff was hearsay, the sexual abuse concerns and medical concerns was solid to me. At the time of all of this, I was an honor roll student, model citizen who had never had any run ins with the law & thought that the judge would see that there had to be some truth to what I was saying since I was literally willing to give up my life for the safety of my kids. The judge just kept saying he was going to take my children away, the children that I almost died having, the children I breastfed and took care of by myself, the children I took care of when they were sick & in the hospital while their dad didn't so much call let alone come to the hospital. Now a judge is willing to take them from me who has been there & give them over to be cared for by a bunch of strangers & to a father who has repeatedly shown he doesn't care, who didn't really want visitation but was seeking to take the children because he did not want to pay child support.

    Needless to say, in December, if I did not bring the children for unsupervised visits to the court that day, I would have my children taken away from me and put in jail. I believe I had a heart attack that day. I knew he was going to hurt them & there was nothing I could do. I watched him take my children & the judge and lawyer leave & nobody even knew that I had fell to the floor because my legs gave out & I could not breath. When I got my children back 4 days later during the exchange at the police station, I was horrified. My daughter was crying saying she was hungry, her clothes were on backwards & her shoes on the wrong foot. I picked my son up & his shoe came off. I noticed his sock was wet & to me that was odd. I tried to stand him up & I remember that my son was just limp. He could not stand & when I picked him up, his face was turning black & his eyes were rolling to the back of his head. I looked at the police officer who was standing there & she immediately said, take that baby to the hospital before I could finish getting the words out. They took my baby to the back, gave him a breathing treatment & did some test & found my son had double pneumonia in his lungs. I have 6 children that I have raised by myself & never has one gotten anything like this. I believe my ex made my child sick & with held food & medicine from my children. My fears were right because my son was do dehydrated & his stomach was so empty that he could not pee for almost 5 days & it was even longer before he had enough to have a bowel movement.

    We were in the hospital almost 5 days & even though my ex was standing right there when the officer told me to take our son the ER, my ex never came to see our son & he never called even when I asked him to come just to see if he would. I only wish I could have gotten my daughter checked out because I feel she might have been neglected because it was her who told me over the phone that she was not getting food.The day I took my son the ER, I noticed my son had this white substance dried around his penis. His penis was swollen and the skin was turning black. The doctor said it was yeast & I knew he had been molested. I After that I refused to give the kids back to him. Then one visitation weekend, he showed up with the police who said I had to give him the kids. He tried to have me arrested but he ended up getting arrested on one of his warrants. He bailed out that night and was back to get the kids for a whole week because it was CHRIStmas. DHS & the police came to my house because I had filed a case with DHS. They gave me a form to give to my ex that was like a promise to feed, care for, give medical care & etc. He refused to sign it in front of them. They were about to take the children into foster care when he reluctantly signed the paper. My children fought to keep from going with him. My kids were screaming & my daughter broke out of her broken car seat my ex had trying to get to me & I couldn't do anything. Do you know how it feels to not be able to protect you kids when you know they are being hurt? It's been months & I still can't gather the words to describe it.

    On the 2nd visit, my ex refused to allow me to even talk to my children because he feared my daughter would tell me things. When I got them back I knew they would never go back there as long as I could help it. My son had a scratch on his face and my daughter came back with a big patch of hair missing from her head. They had tried to cover it up with braids & still today, that patch of hair has not grown back. My daughter again was crying she was hungry but my ex tried to cover her mouth before she said it. He grabbed her & ran inside the police station where he quickly bought her a honey bun to keep her from saying she was hungry.

    I think what sadder is that during our marriage, my ex had 3 other women pregnant at the same time while I was pregnant with our son. In all there were 5 babies because 1 woman had twins. He denied those babies too & has not been in those children's lives at all. One of the babies died & he didn't even go to the funeral. He didn't even care & when I asked him why, he just said he was glad he would not have to worry about child support with that child. One of the women I befriended & she & I have been working together to make sure our children know one another. Last month there I was, the wife at the birthday party of a child who my husband conceived during our marriage & he didn't even bother to drive 5 minutes to come but managed to send text messages none of which said anything about telling his daughter happy b-day.This child lives just a few minutes away from my ex & he never sees the child nor is he in her life. Instead he drives 30 minutes to try to take my children not because he loves them or wants to be in their lives but because he wants to hurt me.

    Another shock to this story is that after I file a case with DHS to investigate the child & medical neglect and abuse, I found that my case had been closed for lack of evidence. I was dumbfounded because I had recorded conversations I let this case worker listen to where my ex admits he was not giving our son medicine and the meds he did give, was the wrong amounts. If that isn't enough, I found that the case worker had not even talked to any of the doctors or nurses in the hospital, she didn't even talk to my son's PCP who was waiting for someone from DHS to contact her nor did she talk to the police officer who saw the condition my son was return in. I found out that the reason why my case was closed was because the case worker who investigated the case was my ex-husband's mother's best friend. I then saw why nothing was happening with the case and why I was made to feel like I was being a bitter ex-wife out to pick on her ex-husband. She did not inform me of this & I feel that a conflict of interest is an understatement. I did however open up another case because my daughter's teacher came forward and told me and DHS that she felt my daughter had been sexually abused so maybe my children can finally get some justice. I will say that being poor trying to get help in the justice system was impossible for me. I talked to lawyer after lawyer, spoke with groups who were supposed to have special funding for low income families needing legal assistance and I applied with legal aid several times with no help.

    *Question*
    Is there anything I can do about the way my case was handle by the judge and is there anything I can do about the way my investigation was handled by DHS?
    I don't ever want to have my case heard by this judge because he refused to record hearing and he often forgot what he said causing me and my children much pain & putting them in a situation to be abused. Everything I said would happened did & my ex basically bragged about & still nothing has been done to him. I wish I could sue because I have panic attacks & the mental & emotional stress I'm suffering is keeping me from functioning, sleeping, eating & I am always in fear that one day they will take my kids. Even my other children are suffering because they see how this has affected me and it has traumatized them because we have never been separated like this before. What's sad, I want to go to the doctor but I am so scared that they will use that against me as evidence to take my kids.

    Thanks

    ~Blessings

    ~Nita Mae~




    ~ Nita Mae ~
    ~ Nita Mae ~

  • #2
    I know here in Minnesota you can petition to have a judge removed from your case but you must have GOOD CAUSE!
    I am by no means saying that your reasons are not but you need solid evidence of the things you are claiming to really show that you are being discriminated against. My only adivce would be do a little research on that and see if you can't get another one.
    Also in my step-sons case the judge appointed a guardian ad litem to advocate for the best interests of him. See if there is a program in the state for that. You can petition to get one of those appointed as well. That really helped my husbands case.
    Good luck to you!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Nita Mae View Post
      I know this is long but it's about my children but the question is posted at the bottom. Thanks

      Since my daughter was only a few months old, every judge has basically ruled in my favor. Now my daughter is almost 5 and somehow my ex-husband had the judge who has been over our case all this time removed & replaced with a judge who happens to be friends with my ex-husband's lawyer. During our first hearing, I made this judge aware of concerns I had with my ex getting unsupervised visits. For 1, he has never been in our children's lives.

      If you've been back and forth to court a lot, he's obviously been involved to some degree. I'm not being argumentative - I'm pointing out the discrepancy the same way any judge would do. Also, judges and attorneys are commonly friends - this doesn't mean that there's a conflict of interest.


      He basically left us & never looked back even though our children have disabilities. My daughter has speech problems & my 2yr old son suffers from a bone disease, breathing problems & is unable to talk due to it. My son had been in the hospital numerous times & my ex would lie about coming to see him but has managed to not show up to any of the hospital or doctor visits.

      He's not legally obliged to show up.


      I also had concerns because my ex was abused when he was 4 & he even bragged to be during one visit that his son (our son) would have sex by the time he was 5. He was having sexual acts done to him & it has grown to such an addiction that on several occasions he was accused of being inappropriate with minors.

      Are you implying that your ex is abusing your children? What happened with the accusation? Was he convicted of anything?



      Other concerns were that my ex has previous child endangerment charges on his record as well & during our marriage, I witnessed him refusing to take his child by another woman to the ER when she was having trouble breathing. I could not watch the child suffer so I went to take the child myself to the ER & it was only then that he got up to take her. He also has warrants and DUI's. He also was removed from his bus route because of accusations of him messing with minors in a sexual manner.
      Again, were there any convictions?




      I had written about my concerns on here as well as to DHS and Child Support supervisors long before my ex tried to get visits but the judge didn't even look at the letters. The judge gave my ex 3 months supervised visits & at the end we were supposed to come back to see if my ex was fit for unsupervised visitation. During the 3 months he missed 6 visits but I could only prove 4 because I checked in for him when he said he would be late because unlike him, I really wanted to give him a chance to be a father. I kept notes on things that happened during visits. On one visit, 2 men approached me because he saw my ex's car outside the restaurant & they were about to hurt my ex. My ex has been in trouble for borrowing money from people and not paying them back & I documented this in my notes but the judge didn't even look at it.

      This is because it's hearsay, and it's also actually irrelevant.



      After the 3 months I was expecting to go back to court. Instead I got papers for contempt. When we got to court, I ended up being found in contempt for missing 2 unsupervised weekends even though I bought proof that I was in the children's hospital 2 hours away with my child during that time.
      OK, that seemed to be a valid reason you weren't able to make the visitation. But there's not much you can do about it now.


      I also tried to explain concerns such as the child endangerment, DUI's, insurance and ID fraud (even fraud where I found he was illegally using my children's SS# to get benefits for himself when the children were living with me).

      Child endangerment? Explain further please. Did you submit your evidence in the correct way?



      I was ordered to pay his lawyer fees even thought the court was aware that I was representing myself because I could not afford representation of my own & legal aid could not represent me.
      Okay.


      Even with that order against me, I continued to deny my ex unsupervised visits because I felt my children were in danger.

      Why?


      My son has medications & I knew he would not give my son his medication. I also feared for my children's lives & told the judge that in the contempt hearing. During one of our visits, he asked me if I would let him put the children on life insurance. He claimed he could place them in their car seats unbuckled to make it look like an accident. I was also scared because my ex had started drinking a lot after we split and he would have my children during the weekends when he was probably drinking the most.

      You have no evidence of any of this, do you?


      We went thru a number of contempt hearing from July until December of last year. I had no representation, the judge refused to record our hearing after my requests because the reason we were going thru all of this was because he forgot what he ordered in our previous hearings. They would have me come to court at 9 in the morning when there was a courtroom full of people & every single time my case was always last when there was no one else around but my ex, his lawyer & the judge. I fought it even willing to go to jail just to get this judge to listen. Even if the other stuff was hearsay, the sexual abuse concerns and medical concerns was solid to me.

      But not to the judge - you had no evidence. At all.


      At the time of all of this, I was an honor roll student, model citizen who had never had any run ins with the law & thought that the judge would see that there had to be some truth to what I was saying since I was literally willing to give up my life for the safety of my kids. The judge just kept saying he was going to take my children away, the children that I almost died having, the children I breastfed and took care of by myself, the children I took care of when they were sick & in the hospital while their dad didn't so much call let alone come to the hospital.

      I'm not being mean when I say this but please understand - ANY judge is going to see this as being completely melodramatic. Yes, you gave birth - but that's a biological function. It does NOT mean you're the better parent, you know?


      Now a judge is willing to take them from me who has been there & give them over to be cared for by a bunch of strangers & to a father who has repeatedly shown he doesn't care, who didn't really want visitation but was seeking to take the children because he did not want to pay child support.

      Needless to say, in December, if I did not bring the children for unsupervised visits to the court that day, I would have my children taken away from me and put in jail.
      Okay.


      I believe I had a heart attack that day. I knew he was going to hurt them & there was nothing I could do.

      Were you diagnosed with having a heart attack that way? How could you possibly see into the future? Again, I'm honestly not trying to be mean, but you have to try to take emotion out of this and deal with the facts.


      I watched him take my children & the judge and lawyer leave & nobody even knew that I had fell to the floor because my legs gave out & I could not breath. When I got my children back 4 days later during the exchange at the police station, I was horrified. My daughter was crying saying she was hungry, her clothes were on backwards & her shoes on the wrong foot. I picked my son up & his shoe came off. I noticed his sock was wet & to me that was odd. I tried to stand him up & I remember that my son was just limp. He could not stand & when I picked him up, his face was turning black & his eyes were rolling to the back of his head. I looked at the police officer who was standing there & she immediately said, take that baby to the hospital before I could finish getting the words out. They took my baby to the back, gave him a breathing treatment & did some test & found my son had double pneumonia in his lungs.

      And what did they say was the cause?


      I have 6 children that I have raised by myself & never has one gotten anything like this. I believe my ex made my child sick & with held food & medicine from my children. My fears were right because my son was do dehydrated & his stomach was so empty that he could not pee for almost 5 days & it was even longer before he had enough to have a bowel movement.
      So when you called CPS, what happened?


      We were in the hospital almost 5 days & even though my ex was standing right there when the officer told me to take our son the ER, my ex never came to see our son & he never called even when I asked him to come just to see if he would. I only wish I could have gotten my daughter checked out because I feel she might have been neglected because it was her who told me over the phone that she was not getting food.The day I took my son the ER, I noticed my son had this white substance dried around his penis. His penis was swollen and the skin was turning black. The doctor said it was yeast & I knew he had been molested.
      WHAT?! A yeast infection is NOT proof of molestation!!!!!!


      I After that I refused to give the kids back to him.

      YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT. What did CPS do when you told them your fears of molestation?


      Then one visitation weekend, he showed up with the police who said I had to give him the kids. He tried to have me arrested but he ended up getting arrested on one of his warrants. He bailed out that night and was back to get the kids for a whole week because it was CHRIStmas. DHS & the police came to my house because I had filed a case with DHS. They gave me a form to give to my ex that was like a promise to feed, care for, give medical care & etc. He refused to sign it in front of them. They were about to take the children into foster care when he reluctantly signed the paper.

      That's not usually how DHS works..but okay.


      My children fought to keep from going with him. My kids were screaming & my daughter broke out of her broken car seat my ex had trying to get to me & I couldn't do anything. Do you know how it feels to not be able to protect you kids when you know they are being hurt? It's been months & I still can't gather the words to describe it.
      You need to get your children into therapy.



      On the 2nd visit, my ex refused to allow me to even talk to my children because he feared my daughter would tell me things. When I got them back I knew they would never go back there as long as I could help it. My son had a scratch on his face and my daughter came back with a big patch of hair missing from her head. They had tried to cover it up with braids & still today, that patch of hair has not grown back.

      Exactly what evidence do you have that these things aren't just kids being kids? Seriously?

      My daughter again was crying she was hungry but my ex tried to cover her mouth before she said it. He grabbed her & ran inside the police station where he quickly bought her a honey bun to keep her from saying she was hungry.
      Good, so she ate.

      And kids complain of being hungry even when they're fed regular meals.



      I think what sadder is that during our marriage, my ex had 3 other women pregnant at the same time while I was pregnant with our son. In all there were 5 babies because 1 woman had twins. He denied those babies too & has not been in those children's lives at all. One of the babies died & he didn't even go to the funeral. He didn't even care & when I asked him why, he just said he was glad he would not have to worry about child support with that child. One of the women I befriended & she & I have been working together to make sure our children know one another. Last month there I was, the wife at the birthday party of a child who my husband conceived during our marriage & he didn't even bother to drive 5 minutes to come but managed to send text messages none of which said anything about telling his daughter happy b-day.This child lives just a few minutes away from my ex & he never sees the child nor is he in her life. Instead he drives 30 minutes to try to take my children not because he loves them or wants to be in their lives but because he wants to hurt me.

      Sorry, but none of this is relevant.


      Another shock to this story is that after I file a case with DHS to investigate the child & medical neglect and abuse, I found that my case had been closed for lack of evidence. I was dumbfounded because I had recorded conversations I let this case worker listen to where my ex admits he was not giving our son medicine and the meds he did give, was the wrong amounts. If that isn't enough, I found that the case worker had not even talked to any of the doctors or nurses in the hospital, she didn't even talk to my son's PCP who was waiting for someone from DHS to contact her nor did she talk to the police officer who saw the condition my son was return in. I found out that the reason why my case was closed was because the case worker who investigated the case was my ex-husband's mother's best friend.

      I'm sorry, but that's not how cases are worked. Please believe me - you're implying that there's a conspiracy here, but that's just not how things are done.


      I then saw why nothing was happening with the case and why I was made to feel like I was being a bitter ex-wife out to pick on her ex-husband. She did not inform me of this & I feel that a conflict of interest is an understatement. I did however open up another case because my daughter's teacher came forward and told me and DHS that she felt my daughter had been sexually abused so maybe my children can finally get some justice.

      So what is going on with that case?


      I will say that being poor trying to get help in the justice system was impossible for me. I talked to lawyer after lawyer, spoke with groups who were supposed to have special funding for low income families needing legal assistance and I applied with legal aid several times with no help.

      And what did the attorneys all say?



      *Question*
      Is there anything I can do about the way my case was handle by the judge and is there anything I can do about the way my investigation was handled by DHS?

      There was no evidence - and if you can't get an attorney to take your case, that pretty much means you have no case.


      I don't ever want to have my case heard by this judge because he refused to record hearing and he often forgot what he said causing me and my children much pain & putting them in a situation to be abused.
      Please explain this further.



      Everything I said would happened did & my ex basically bragged about & still nothing has been done to him. I wish I could sue because I have panic attacks & the mental & emotional stress I'm suffering is keeping me from functioning, sleeping, eating & I am always in fear that one day they will take my kids. Even my other children are suffering because they see how this has affected me and it has traumatized them because we have never been separated like this before. What's sad, I want to go to the doctor but I am so scared that they will use that against me as evidence to take my kids.

      Thanks

      ~Blessings

      ~Nita Mae~




      ~ Nita Mae ~

      You NEED an attorney.

      Because you're actually in danger of losing custody of your kids - you've withheld visitation, despite being held in contempt SEVERAL times, and there's no evidence of any wrongdoing on behalf of your ex.

      Comment


      • #4
        As I said, his only reason for going to court was not to be involved with his children, it was to take custody. Numerous times I tried to arrange activities other than the visits and he would never show up.

        I know he's not legally obligated to show but surely that should give some insight to his character especially if he has told the court under oath that he would be involved with me son during the times he is sick.

        As I said, nothing has happened. The case was file thru the police and sent to DHS for an investigation. The case never got investigated and my ex knew before I did that nothing was going to happen because the case worker was informing him instead of investigating and informing me so the children can be protected.

        There is no way for me to find out or get proof even though I know there are charges and convictions. I tried to obtain that information but was denied copies of his record by the police. One of the other women he fathered children by was able to get a lawyer to get his record and that is how I found out about these charges. I just am unable to get those records for myself.

        I disagree. I feel those letters were proof because they were electronically sent meaning these letters have timestamps and other proof that my concerns were real and no anything made up in an attempt to keep my ex from visitation.

        Again, we have a case history of almost 5 years where my ex submitted false court documents claiming there was no way he fathered these children. In every hearing he perjured himself and the original judge on the case took note of it. This is why he always lost. When the new judge stepped in, he didn't even bother to familiarized himself with the case and didn't even know what our previous hearing was about. It was not my job to be reminding the judge or the lawyer about what was going on but that was the case. If they are going to make decisions about the safety of disabled children, the least they can do is know the history and background of the case. I had people there to testify for me that never got heard who could have given more insight to the character of my ex-husband. I wasn't trying to prove who is the better parent, I was trying to further show that although he was claiming to want a relationship with his kids, his actions showed different.

        It's not about seeing into the future. Over the past 15 years, my ex has continued to display the same behavior with his children. When I married him, he told me he had 1 child. I loved that child and welcomed her in our family even had her in our wedding. It wasn't until months later that I found he had at least 8 other children by different women scattered in different states and cities. Since then he has had and been accused of having 8 more children during and after the marriage. He was the pastor of a church and was removed because of his lifestyle. When I said I knew, it was because I was married to and lived with the man and watched his display the same character over and over again. As I said in my post, he was bragging on many of the things to my face. Some court do allow some level of here say but unfortunately for my children everything happened as I knew it would. We must remember just because all facts can not be proved with evidence does not mean that those facts aren't true. I know in a court of law you have to be able to prove things but the injustice was the court knew I had no financial means and I brought letters from legal agencies showing I was being denied because there were no services available for my kind of case.

        Again, nothing happened with CPS because the worker investigating the case was a friedn of my ex-husband's mother. She never contacted the doctor or anybody at the hospital even though she was investigating accusations of medical neglect. I live in a small town and practices like this happen all the time. I just don't know how to fight it because I don't have money to pay these folks to help me and my children.

        YES!!! a yeast infection can be proof of molestation. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my ex-husband passed a yeast infection on to me. He had gotten it from one of the women he cheating with but never told me he had it. I found her yeast medication in his truck and that was when he told me he had gotten it from the other woman. They were sharing it and he ended up passing it on to me so all 3 of us had it at the same time. Yeast can be passed I know this for a fact. The same symptoms I had my son was suffering. Someone touched my child and passed the infection to my son.

        Correction, I may not have had a legal right by the courts but I had every spiritual right to protect my children from abuse especially in a system as corrupt as ours. I believe in God and knows HE sees everything that is happening. I fear Him more than the courts because what HE can do to me is far worse than what any judge can.

        I don't know how DHS works were you are but that is exactly what happened here. Two case workers and 2 officers witnessed it. Regardless of what you think corruption is all around here. The lawyer my ex-husband is said to have many ill dealings with drugs and other stuff. Again, I live so I don't think like you are, I know. People just don't care. I have written and talked to so many people including the NAACP and several new stations. My ex has even been driving public school buses on a suspended license and has gotten DUI but nobody cares.

        Are you serious??? I have 6 children. My oldest is almost 17. Not once have they ever pulled patches out of their brother or sister's hair so I don't know how you would ever think this is just child's play. I counted the scratch on my son's face as an accident but the patch from my daughter's head to force. My daughter tried to tell me who did it but I have no clue on who it is because they were in the care of many different strangers.

        Again, this is the way my case was handled regardless of how things are done there. The caseworkers here are not the same workers investigating cases there. I don't know why you think I'm making up stuff to add further stress. I know it happened this way and God knows and feel I don't have to arguing what I know is truth.


        I know I need a lawyer. I have been trying. I thought I had a guy who would help me without paying all that money up front. He asked me to have the doctor contact him and she tried numerous times but he failed to call her back. So what can you do when everybody is too busy because you don't have the money to pay upfront?
        ~ Nita Mae ~

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Kris23 View Post
          I know here in Minnesota you can petition to have a judge removed from your case but you must have GOOD CAUSE!
          I am by no means saying that your reasons are not but you need solid evidence of the things you are claiming to really show that you are being discriminated against. My only adivce would be do a little research on that and see if you can't get another one.
          Also in my step-sons case the judge appointed a guardian ad litem to advocate for the best interests of him. See if there is a program in the state for that. You can petition to get one of those appointed as well. That really helped my husbands case.
          Good luck to you!
          Thanks. I'm going to look into all of these things.
          ~ Nita Mae ~

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Nita Mae View Post
            As I said, his only reason for going to court was not to be involved with his children, it was to take custody. Numerous times I tried to arrange activities other than the visits and he would never show up.

            I know he's not legally obligated to show but surely that should give some insight to his character especially if he has told the court under oath that he would be involved with me son during the times he is sick.

            As I said, nothing has happened. The case was file thru the police and sent to DHS for an investigation. The case never got investigated and my ex knew before I did that nothing was going to happen because the case worker was informing him instead of investigating and informing me so the children can be protected.
            So you are saying that DHS did NOT initiate an investigation?


            There is no way for me to find out or get proof even though I know there are charges and convictions. I tried to obtain that information but was denied copies of his record by the police. One of the other women he fathered children by was able to get a lawyer to get his record and that is how I found out about these charges. I just am unable to get those records for myself.

            They are public record, unless the records are sealed. Have someone, a friend, do a search for you.



            I disagree. I feel those letters were proof because they were electronically sent meaning these letters have timestamps and other proof that my concerns were real and no anything made up in an attempt to keep my ex from visitation.

            They are not proof. Sorry, you are free to disagree, but they're not proof of anything other than a communication - they don't even prove who sent them.

            Again, we have a case history of almost 5 years where my ex submitted false court documents claiming there was no way he fathered these children. In every hearing he perjured himself and the original judge on the case took note of it. This is why he always lost. When the new judge stepped in, he didn't even bother to familiarized himself with the case and didn't even know what our previous hearing was about. It was not my job to be reminding the judge or the lawyer about what was going on but that was the case. If they are going to make decisions about the safety of disabled children, the least they can do is know the history and background of the case. I had people there to testify for me that never got heard who could have given more insight to the character of my ex-husband. I wasn't trying to prove who is the better parent, I was trying to further show that although he was claiming to want a relationship with his kids, his actions showed different.

            Actually, it IS your job to raise issues that you would like considered.



            It's not about seeing into the future. Over the past 15 years, my ex has continued to display the same behavior with his children. When I married him, he told me he had 1 child. I loved that child and welcomed her in our family even had her in our wedding. It wasn't until months later that I found he had at least 8 other children by different women scattered in different states and cities. Since then he has had and been accused of having 8 more children during and after the marriage. He was the pastor of a church and was removed because of his lifestyle. When I said I knew, it was because I was married to and lived with the man and watched his display the same character over and over again. As I said in my post, he was bragging on many of the things to my face. Some court do allow some level of here say but unfortunately for my children everything happened as I knew it would. We must remember just because all facts can not be proved with evidence does not mean that those facts aren't true. I know in a court of law you have to be able to prove things but the injustice was the court knew I had no financial means and I brought letters from legal agencies showing I was being denied because there were no services available for my kind of case.

            Again, nothing happened with CPS because the worker investigating the case was a friedn of my ex-husband's mother. She never contacted the doctor or anybody at the hospital even though she was investigating accusations of medical neglect. I live in a small town and practices like this happen all the time. I just don't know how to fight it because I don't have money to pay these folks to help me and my children.
            Did you make a complaint about the investigator?



            YES!!! a yeast infection can be proof of molestation. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my ex-husband passed a yeast infection on to me. He had gotten it from one of the women he cheating with but never told me he had it. I found her yeast medication in his truck and that was when he told me he had gotten it from the other woman. They were sharing it and he ended up passing it on to me so all 3 of us had it at the same time. Yeast can be passed I know this for a fact. The same symptoms I had my son was suffering. Someone touched my child and passed the infection to my son.
            And a yeast infection can occur WITHOUT molestation. You had NO reason to withhold visitation without PROOF of something. A child can end up with a yeast infection from being sensitive to laundry detergent.




            Correction, I may not have had a legal right by the courts but I had every spiritual right to protect my children from abuse especially in a system as corrupt as ours. I believe in God and knows HE sees everything that is happening. I fear Him more than the courts because what HE can do to me is far worse than what any judge can.
            The law doesn't care about your religious beliefs I'm afraid.

            I don't know how DHS works were you are but that is exactly what happened here. Two case workers and 2 officers witnessed it. Regardless of what you think corruption is all around here. The lawyer my ex-husband is said to have many ill dealings with drugs and other stuff. Again, I live so I don't think like you are, I know. People just don't care. I have written and talked to so many people including the NAACP and several new stations. My ex has even been driving public school buses on a suspended license and has gotten DUI but nobody cares.
            Don't you think it's unlikely that it would be such a huge conspiracy?


            Are you serious??? I have 6 children. My oldest is almost 17. Not once have they ever pulled patches out of their brother or sister's hair so I don't know how you would ever think this is just child's play. I counted the scratch on my son's face as an accident but the patch from my daughter's head to force. My daughter tried to tell me who did it but I have no clue on who it is because they were in the care of many different strangers.
            Yes, I'm serious. Kids fight.



            Again, this is the way my case was handled regardless of how things are done there. The caseworkers here are not the same workers investigating cases there. I don't know why you think I'm making up stuff to add further stress. I know it happened this way and God knows and feel I don't have to arguing what I know is truth.

            I know I need a lawyer. I have been trying. I thought I had a guy who would help me without paying all that money up front. He asked me to have the doctor contact him and she tried numerous times but he failed to call her back. So what can you do when everybody is too busy because you don't have the money to pay upfront?

            You get yourself a second and third job, and do whatever it takes.

            Seriously - I know you think I'm being harsh (and I'm honestly not trying to hurt your feelings), but you are in danger of actually losing custody completely.

            If what you say is true, then it's even MORE reason to toe the line and make darned sure you follow those court orders.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
              So you are saying that DHS did NOT initiate an investigation?

              Again, Yes, they investigated. A worker was assigned to the case but failed to speak with the doctor and nurses at the hospital nor did she talk to my son's PCP. At this time the case is being re-investigated. My concern is DHS allowed that case worker to waste valuable time. I felt the case should have been taken serious while the events were fresh in peoples mind.
              They are public record, unless the records are sealed. Have someone, a friend, do a search for you.

              I asked a police friend but they said they would get into trouble for running background checks as a favor. If there is another way to obtain these records please let me know because I have been turned away every time. A friend, one of the other women got a lawyer to run a check which is how we found out about the child endangerment charges, warrants, DUI, etc. The lawyer wont even go in detail to her or give her a copy because like me, she can't afford to hire a lawyer.


              They are not proof. Sorry, you are free to disagree, but they're not proof of anything other than a communication - they don't even prove who sent them.

              I think you are talking about the e-mails. I do disagree. I know enough about computers to know better. When you send an e-mail, you are also sending people information about you without even knowing it. E-mails can give information about your location, exact time, date and even account information. I used to get prank e-mails from a woman who was having an affair with my ex-husband. She would pretend to be other women my husband was messing with. She had no clue that I could tell from the e-mails where they were coming from. I showed the police & filed a report against her. Needless to say I never got a prank e-mail ever again.

              Actually, it IS your job to raise issues that you would like considered.

              ? not sure what you're talking about... I raised all my concerns.


              Did you make a complaint about the investigator?

              yes, that's why it's being re investigated. Nothing has been done to the worker as far as I know.

              And a yeast infection can occur WITHOUT molestation. You had NO reason to withhold visitation without PROOF of something. A child can end up with a yeast infection from being sensitive to laundry detergent.

              Good try....But there has to be use of laundry detergent for that to be true. I asked my ex before I said anything to him about my beliefs and he said he had not washed any of their clothes. I already knew he hadn't because he sent dirty clothes back and I knew he didn't have a washer or dryer but wanted to make sure he didn't go anywhere else. Did you forget that my ex has had 2 allegations against him at his job for inappropriate behavior with minors where he was removed from his route? He was about to be fired but lied his way out of it. I intercepted a message from what I though was a woman one day on his cellphone. I found out not too long ago that that was a minor girl who had sex with because of the content of her message. Soon after we separated, a teenage girl came to me and said my husband showed up to her house. He had been waiting outside in the parking lot waiting for her parents to leave. When they did, he showed up at the door with strawberries and whip cream. I also heard that prior to us dating, he was almost arrested for impregnating a minor. It was a rumor that may be true as well. My ex-husband had many faces and he did most of his dirt in other states and cities even using other peoples identities to hide these things. He has even used my son's name. I know you feel I have no right but there are too many situations involving sexual acts/behavior with minors children. Now someone from the outside has stepped up and said at least 1 child has been molested, what I have been saying all along so I know I'm not crazy. Anybody who really loves their children would never sit back and watch them get abused.

              The law doesn't care about your religious beliefs I'm afraid.
              That's fine because I don't have respect for the law when those behind it are crooked.
              It doesn't matter what the law cares about as long as God knows I put HIS law above man's law.

              Don't you think it's unlikely that it would be such a huge conspiracy?
              No I don't because I do read the paper and know this happens everywhere not just here. I was just shocked it actually happened to me. It just reminded me that there really are wicked rulers and people in high places.
              There is corruption all over this town. Some of the biggest corrupter, drug dealers, etc are tied up in the system. My ex's lawyer is said to be the biggest drug dealer here. Why you feel this is impossible is amazing especially with all the stories we read about and see everyday.


              Yes, I'm serious. Kids fight.

              The argument was not do kids fight or not, the argument was do kids fight in the manner in which I described. Just as you have never seen corruption as I described, I have never seen any kids fight like this and I have 6 of my own and have worked with children since I was 12. It's amazing how you can believe that a disabled 2yr old with a bone disability who is in therapy to build strength, has the strength to pull out the hair of a 4 1/2 yr old till it's bald. Not to mention the 4 yr old has named someone not associated with my family
              but associated with my ex's??? lol This is the kind of world we live in. People are so disconnected that they have no clue of the things going on in this world. The truth is there just as plain as day but I guess the truth will remain unseen to those who are looking with their eyes wide shut.

              You get yourself a second and third job, and do whatever it takes.

              Again, I live in the real world. You say that so calm but don't you know if it were that simple I would have done that already? Do you really believe if the solution to keeping my children was to simply get a 3rd job, that I would be here talking to you? I'm already am trying to support myself in a small business that may be going under because I've lost one of my suppliers. I have not 1 but 2 disabled children to care for. My 11yr is so sick that I'm forced to home school her now. The reason I had to work for myself in the first place was because I was a single parent having to miss work to care for my children. My son was doing physical therapy 5 days a week. I'm always back and forth to the doctor and hospital with both of them. My daughter has been in the hospital 5 times in the past year. We are always there 5 or 6 days or more. It is so easy to sit back and tell somebody how to run their lives because it takes absolutely no effort to do that. Instead of telling me to get more jobs just tell me how you manage to stay afloat with your 6 children???.. how do you cope with taking care of 2 disabled children???.. how you are able to cook, clean, keep the house up, help with homework & projects, doing your own school work and projects, attend school functions, after school activities & community service projects???... how are you able to function when you're up most of the night with stomach aches, asthma attacks, fever, vomiting or diarrhea???...

              This week is spring break & I got to sleep more than 2 hours straight (with help of course). My body is so use to being up that my body won't let me sleep longer unless I take non habit forming sleep aids. In fact I'm trying to go to the doctor for it next week. How do you manage to get enough rest & still keep up these things?

              My 11yr was in the hospital last week but the hospital stay before that I was a full time honor student. I was less than 4 months from graduating with my BA in Business but had to drop out because I got so far behind. Since you know so much please tell me now, how were you able to cope with all of the things I've described? Chances are you have never had to deal with these situations as I have so how can you begin to tell me how to handle them??? That's like me trying to show Iron Chef Bobby Flay how to cook. Although I have the ability to cook well, I would not be able to stand in his shoes because the responsibility,training and experience he has is not the same training and experience I have. I could sit back and tell him what herbs and spices could go well with his dish or how long to cook each meal but the truth is I'm not in a position to give such suggestions to him because he lives it everyday and living it is a lot harder than sitting back thinking you know how to do something in your mind. Seriously, it may seem like you're trying to help but it would have been better if you had just prayed for me or set up a fund for me to get legal help.


              Seriously - I know you think I'm being harsh (and I'm honestly not trying to hurt your feelings), but you are in danger of actually losing custody completely.

              I don't think you're being harsh but really naive in your perceptions and you're not even close to hurting my feelings because I have been thru more than you can even imagine in my lifetime. I'm just in awe that you really believe what you're saying and really think corruption isn't happening in the courts, DHS or wherever. Here's a bit of truth for you..*whispering* As long as men still live and breathe on this earth, the possibility of corruption is always possible. Since the first man and woman set foot on this earth, the wheels of corruption began turning and is still turning today.

              If what you say is true, then it's even MORE reason to toe the line and make darned sure you follow those court orders.
              Again, I'm not giving my children to someone who is hurting them. I'm sorry but I fear only God. With this I already have victory especially when there are doctors, nurses, police officers and people waiting to testify that these children have been neglected and abused. I know that I have won and am in the right standing with the only one who truly matters. I wish I could describe the peace that I am feeling right now....



              ~ Nita Mae ~
              ~ Nita Mae ~

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Nita Mae View Post
                Again, I'm not giving my children to someone who is hurting them. I'm sorry but I fear only God. With this I already have victory especially when there are doctors, nurses, police officers and people waiting to testify that these children have been neglected and abused. I know that I have won and am in the right standing with the only one who truly matters. I wish I could describe the peace that I am feeling right now....



                ~ Nita Mae ~
                I am going to agree with Dog that you NEED an attorney. If you think that God will come down from Heaven and prevent your child/ren from being placed with this "monster" you procreated with ...Well...You are screwed.

                HIRE AN ATTORNEY. NOW. TODAY.
                Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

                Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

                Bay

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Nita Mae View Post
                  Again, I'm not giving my children to someone who is hurting them. I'm sorry but I fear only God. With this I already have victory especially when there are doctors, nurses, police officers and people waiting to testify that these children have been neglected and abused. I know that I have won and am in the right standing with the only one who truly matters. I wish I could describe the peace that I am feeling right now....



                  ~ Nita Mae ~


                  YOU CANNOT WITHHOLD VISITATION LIKE THAT.

                  Nita Mae you are GOING TO LOSE YOUR CHILDREN if you keep doing this.

                  Why is that so hard to understand?!

                  Are you honestly saying that you'd rather the courts REMOVE THEM from your custody completely and hand them right over to your ex?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Baystategirl View Post
                    I am going to agree with Dog that you NEED an attorney. If you think that God will come down from Heaven and prevent your child/ren from being placed with this "monster" you procreated with ...Well...You are screwed.

                    HIRE AN ATTORNEY. NOW. TODAY.
                    Guys, I really need for you all to listen you are clearly not reading. I have already said I need an attorney. In my story I told how I have been trying to get one but evidently nobody's reading. Needing on and having one is 2 different things. I have spoke with many attorney's but none will help me without money so please get that ok? Not even the legal aid services would help because they too know it will be expensive and can't afford a case like mine. I don't know how you think God will come from Heaven but I'm here to tell you He will not. The work of God is done thru people hun but like on here people really don't listen and definitely don't care. Many people know my story and yet nobody has reached out to help. As long as I am dealing with people like this and depending on help from men who could care less, I was basically already screwed from the start.
                    ~ Nita Mae ~

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dogmatique View Post
                      YOU CANNOT WITHHOLD VISITATION LIKE THAT.

                      Nita Mae you are GOING TO LOSE YOUR CHILDREN if you keep doing this.

                      Why is that so hard to understand?!

                      Are you honestly saying that you'd rather the courts REMOVE THEM from your custody completely and hand them right over to your ex?
                      lol. Wow. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I have contacted lawyer after lawyer and am getting the same result. Did you even read why I came here for help? In business we often have excercises where we try to come up with solutions. The root cause of my problem is NOT getting a lawyer, the root is coming up with the money to give to a lawyer so I can get help. You can continue to pretend like your helping and solving the problem by constantly telling me to get a lawyer but the truth is, the problem is getting the money PERIOD! I have not found a single lawyer who would even work out payments with me and that's sad. I've had my lights turned off and water turned off twice this past year. Imagine how it feels to ask some one for help who already has nice cars, fancy homes, nice offices but is so greedy that they can't find one fiber in their heart to work with someone less fortunate. I'm not saying people have to show compassion because God gives us the will to do whatever we want. I would not be going thru this at all if people would treat people how they would want to be treated if they were in that same situation. Instead, people are so caught up in themselves and could care less about the things that are going on with others and that's not right. I am the least one to give anything but I manage to give all the time. I borrowed $20 one time and when I got home a woman knocked on my door needing to borrow $20. It was all I had but I gave all I had to her and am continuing to give like that over and over agian. I know I should be getting help but man's heart is so hard that turining a blind eye to those in need is the norm especially in America.
                      ~ Nita Mae ~

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So, what is it that you are looking for from this board?

                        We can only provide general legal information. We do not provide referrals and reputable attorneys do not troll message boards looking for clients. So what help are you looking for from us? Clearly you are not interested in our point of view.
                        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Just for the record, please only reply to this post if you have real help to offer. People are replying and not reading the text. I am taking any suggestions and help offered but don't want to waste time on talking about things that have already been established.

                          Thanks

                          ~BLessings
                          ~ Nita Mae ~

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cbg View Post
                            So, what is it that you are looking for from this board?

                            We can only provide general legal information. We do not provide referrals and reputable attorneys do not troll message boards looking for clients. So what help are you looking for from us? Clearly you are not interested in our point of view.
                            Umm I was looking for my question to be answered. I thought that's what the forum was for???

                            This was my question.

                            *Question*
                            Is there anything I can do about the way my case was handle by the judge and is there anything I can do about the way my investigation was handled by DHS?
                            I don't ever want to have my case heard by this judge because he refused to record hearing and he often forgot what he said causing me and my children much pain & putting them in a situation to be abused. Everything I said would happened did & my ex basically bragged about & still nothing has been done to him. I wish I could sue because I have panic attacks & the mental & emotional stress I'm suffering is keeping me from functioning, sleeping, eating & I am always in fear that one day they will take my kids. Even my other children are suffering because they see how this has affected me and it has traumatized them because we have never been separated like this before. What's sad, I want to go to the doctor but I am so scared that they will use that against me as evidence to take my kids.
                            ~ Nita Mae ~

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Just for the record, when you post on a public board you do not get to dictate who answers, why or how.

                              And I was asking a real question, for a real reason.
                              The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                              Comment

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