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Situation, need some good advice Tennessee

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  • Situation, need some good advice Tennessee

    Hi everyone,

    Im in a situation where i have a nearly 7 month old little girl, her biological father wants nothing to do with her and wants to sign his rights over.

    He was DNA tested to be her father and was set up to pay us child support
    (161 a month). He also has to pay over 1000 in back child support and other fees. He has only sent me 39 dollars this month and has no job so really cannot support her at all. Me and my parents have been supporting her since she was born. I DO NOT want child support from him but when i was getting him DNA tested they told me since i get state care i had to mark Child Support and Insurance too.

    I am not working but i am going back to school so i can make a living for the both of us. I get financial aid from school.

    Im wondering how should we go about this as i DO get STATE care, Tenncare and Foodstamps.


    My parents want to adopt her so he cannot have custody of her if something was to happen to me. And so they can put her on my step-dads SSI Benefits and so she can have real insurance.

    What shall i do?


    I do not want her around him and his family. There is over 10 people living there in a 3bedroom house and they yell and fight with each other everyday. I was under alot of stress during my pregnancy there so i moved back in with my mom in October of 08 and i had my girl December 08. It was hell living there. They stole my WIC and refused to let me eat good meals while i was pregnant.I do not want her living there at all!! That is my biggest fear is she will have to go stay there let alone live there.

  • #2
    Well this is just my opnion and from other threads that I have read on here... YOU NEVER LET YOUR CHILD BE ADOPTED BY ANYONE if you want to remain a parent in that childs life. No matter what the "benefits" are.
    As far as adoption, he is the legal father through a DNA test and child support. So he would have to agree to this adoption (again terrible idea) and get his parental rights terminated. This can happen without his agreement but its tough and from the little you wrote about why you dont think that he should get to see his daughter (she's his too you know) or have her for visits at all then these are kind of weak arguments.

    Being a young single Mom once upon a time ago myself, who went to school full time and also worked for time for myself and my daughter we both had state assistance for medical/dental insurance. Thats not a reason to give up your LEGAL rights to your own child.
    Just some advice..make some phone calls, find out what other types of assistance you can qualify for while in school.. maybe get a part time job since you live with your parents right now.
    I know what your thinking that your parents just want to help and protect you and the child and when your ready they'll give her back right? I wouldn't count on it.. even if they mean it now they can always change their minds.
    Take care..

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Kris23 View Post
      Well this is just my opnion and from other threads that I have read on here... YOU NEVER LET YOUR CHILD BE ADOPTED BY ANYONE if you want to remain a parent in that childs life. No matter what the "benefits" are.
      As far as adoption, he is the legal father through a DNA test and child support. So he would have to agree to this adoption (again terrible idea) and get his parental rights terminated. This can happen without his agreement but its tough and from the little you wrote about why you dont think that he should get to see his daughter (she's his too you know) or have her for visits at all then these are kind of weak arguments.

      Being a young single Mom once upon a time ago myself, who went to school full time and also worked for time for myself and my daughter we both had state assistance for medical/dental insurance. Thats not a reason to give up your LEGAL rights to your own child.
      Just some advice..make some phone calls, find out what other types of assistance you can qualify for while in school.. maybe get a part time job since you live with your parents right now.
      I know what your thinking that your parents just want to help and protect you and the child and when your ready they'll give her back right? I wouldn't count on it.. even if they mean it now they can always change their minds.
      Take care..
      Even if they have every intention of 'giving her back', that doesn't meant that they would LEGALLY be able to do so.

      OP, I'm going to give you some serious advice that you are not going to want to hear.

      Grow up.

      You chose this man to be the father of your child and you chose his family to be your child's extended family. You are going to have to deal with that decision for the rest of your life. I suggest you start researching your state's legal statutes and familiarize yourself what is legal reality. What you are proposing now (for no other reason than to block Dad from any access to his child) is not legal reality and will, if Dad decides to step up and legally enforce his right to parent his child, come back to bite you in the behind.

      Start here:

      http://www.michie.com/tennessee/lpex....htm&cp=tncode

      Title 36.
      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
      (unique up on him)
      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
      (same way)

      Comment


      • #4
        he doent want her in his life. has not tried to come over or call at all and phoned me a couple days ago wantings his parental rights taken away.

        It was a mistake with him. i got drunk and then well she is here.So stayed with him while i was pregnant

        Im not going to let my parents adopt her, im going to make a will

        Currently i cant get a job because im in school full time

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Azera View Post
          he doent want her in his life. has not tried to come over or call at all and phoned me a couple days ago wantings his parental rights taken away.

          It was a mistake with him. i got drunk and then well she is here.So stayed with him while i was pregnant

          Im not going to let my parents adopt her, im going to make a will

          Currently i cant get a job because im in school full time
          You do not will children. They are not property.

          You CAN get a job uness you are going to claim that you attend school 24/7 365.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

          Comment


          • #6
            Azera, time for you to grow up.

            Originally posted by mommyof4 View Post
            You do not will children. They are not property.
            But, I know of a guy over in Oman that can get you some pretty good prices, if you're willing to sell.......







            j/k!
            I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
            Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
            I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
            Don't worry, be happy.

            http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

            Comment

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