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X FILED POLICE REPORT Michigan

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  • X FILED POLICE REPORT Michigan

    My X and I have a 8 mo old. Went to court and under CO parenting time and child support. We settled for shared legal and her primary residency with me having EOW and 1 day during the week. And of course specific holidays. The standard for fathers in michigan. So in the last couple of weeks after I had sent her a cert/reg letter telling her what days I will have him for summer visitation she started calling me and texting me about how she is getting kicked out of her parents home and she wants to come back to live with me. I told her we would have to talk. So when she came to pick up our son last night we started to talk. She got really frustrated when I told her she wasn't moving back in and then she just starting yelling and screaming at me. So she decided to leave. I walked her out to the car and she was putting our son in the car she was so irate I didn't want our son in the car with her so I took him out. At this point our son was fine and once my X calmed down I gave him back to her and then he got really upset but I let them go and as she was leaving she almost ran over me and I tried to push myself away from the car (I had just closed her door for her). So because I was scared wondering if my son is going to be homeless I decided to go to talk to her father (usually is the sane one). Well needless to say I got to her parents house and her father was very upset because my X told him I hit her car and they were at the police station. He proceeded to threaten to kill me so I left (my father was with me). So I got home and spoke to my atty's (criminal and family) and they told me just to wait to see what happens. So I decided to call the police and tell them this man threatened to kill me and the dispatcher told me they had the whole conversation on tape and if I wanted to go down there then I could file a report. I never went because I felt they wanted me down there to arrest me. Now I am suppose to get our son on Wednesday and I am afraid they will prevent that. I have 2 arrests one that has been discharged (for spousal abuse and the other for disorderly conduct) Nothing with this women or our son. And in court she had said that there was never any domestic violence involving either one of us. So I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And no we were never married and I am proven by DNA to be the father.

  • #2
    Originally posted by prouddaddy View Post
    My X and I have a 8 mo old. Went to court and under CO parenting time and child support. We settled for shared legal and her primary residency with me having EOW and 1 day during the week. And of course specific holidays. The standard for fathers in michigan. So in the last couple of weeks after I had sent her a cert/reg letter telling her what days I will have him for summer visitation she started calling me and texting me about how she is getting kicked out of her parents home and she wants to come back to live with me. I told her we would have to talk. So when she came to pick up our son last night we started to talk. She got really frustrated when I told her she wasn't moving back in and then she just starting yelling and screaming at me. So she decided to leave. I walked her out to the car and she was putting our son in the car she was so irate I didn't want our son in the car with her so I took him out. At this point our son was fine and once my X calmed down I gave him back to her and then he got really upset but I let them go and as she was leaving she almost ran over me and I tried to push myself away from the car (I had just closed her door for her). So because I was scared wondering if my son is going to be homeless I decided to go to talk to her father (usually is the sane one). Well needless to say I got to her parents house and her father was very upset because my X told him I hit her car and they were at the police station. He proceeded to threaten to kill me so I left (my father was with me). So I got home and spoke to my atty's (criminal and family) and they told me just to wait to see what happens. So I decided to call the police and tell them this man threatened to kill me and the dispatcher told me they had the whole conversation on tape and if I wanted to go down there then I could file a report. I never went because I felt they wanted me down there to arrest me. Now I am suppose to get our son on Wednesday and I am afraid they will prevent that. I have 2 arrests one that has been discharged (for spousal abuse and the other for disorderly conduct) Nothing with this women or our son. And in court she had said that there was never any domestic violence involving either one of us. So I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And no we were never married and I am proven by DNA to be the father.

    At the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil, you need to snap the hell out of it and be the "hero" in this relationship.

    I do not doubt for one moment that you have gone through hell with this woman. But EVERY time you post, it is a tragedy.

    Let's cover some basics. Your visitation is NOT standard for fathers in Michigan. It is standard for NON CUSTODIAL PARENTS in Michigan. Do a google search, and you will find countless cases in your state where the fathers are the ones with primary or residential custody. Stop approaching this as mother versus father. You are not getting the shaft because you have one.

    You should not have taken the child out of the car just because the mother was upset. Again, I don't think that you are making this up, but my son's father said the same thing ("she tried to run me over!") when I drove off once after we had an argument. I did no such thing. HE was just as upset as I was, and was seeing things that were not there. He also said I almost hit a car on the corner, and what REALLY happened was another car and I reached the stop sign at the same time. We never came close to hitting each other.

    Next, the police do not involve themselves in conspiracies with custodial parents to trick the NCP to come to the police station so they can arrest them. If they have enough to arrest you, they will knock on your door.

    I certainly will not condone her father threatening to kill you, but do you really beleive he wants to murder you, or was he hollering at you to get the hell away? If you felt threatened or think he could seriously harm you, file a report. But if you feel he was just blowing off steam and you file it anyway, then know full well that when you file it, you are only adding to the tension between you and her.

    If she prevents you from exercising your visitation, file for contempt.

    If she calls and says she wants to live with you again, just say no. Why in the world did you tell her that you needed to "talk" about it at all? There is nothing to talk about. You are not together and cannot live together. End of story.

    Follow the order, and when she engages in her antics, keep your mouth shut. The reason your baby was upset is because his parents do nothing but scream at eachother. You need to stop it, and stop it now. Let her scream if she wants, but keep your trap closed.

    If she ends up homeless, file for custody. Let her know that is your plan. And when she freaks out, remain calm and repeat, if you are homeless, I will file for custody CALMLY.

    Stop engaging with this woman. You really don't need to "talk" in order to parent together.

    Comment


    • #3
      I was calm through the whole situation. I am the one that was telling her to calm down. I am not asking for your sympathy by no means but don't insist you were there. I know plenty of fathers that have primary custody as well. But the parenting time is standard. And yes you can just go on the internet and get it so I would say that it is standard. I was asking for sound advice not someone who thinks they knew exactly what had happened. And wanting to talk was letting her know that I do not want our son living on the street. We have been pretty civil toward each other since the final court date. We try to do what is best for our son.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by prouddaddy View Post
        I was calm through the whole situation. I am the one that was telling her to calm down. I am not asking for your sympathy by no means but don't insist you were there. I know plenty of fathers that have primary custody as well. But the parenting time is standard. And yes you can just go on the internet and get it so I would say that it is standard. I was asking for sound advice not someone who thinks they knew exactly what had happened. And wanting to talk was letting her know that I do not want our son living on the street. We have been pretty civil toward each other since the final court date. We try to do what is best for our son.
        Based on your numerous posts, you two are clearly more interested in fighting with eachother than anything else.

        Certianly I posted useful information. You chose to ignore it because you only saw what you wanted to see.

        I'll cut and paste it again.

        This was in response to you saying you didn't go to the police station becuase you thought they just wanted to arrest you:
        Next, the police do not involve themselves in conspiracies with custodial parents to trick the NCP to come to the police station so they can arrest them. If they have enough to arrest you, they will knock on your door.
        This was in response to what you should do about her father threatening you:
        I certainly will not condone her father threatening to kill you, but do you really beleive he wants to murder you, or was he hollering at you to get the hell away? If you felt threatened or think he could seriously harm you, file a report. But if you feel he was just blowing off steam and you file it anyway, then know full well that when you file it, you are only adding to the tension between you and her.
        This was in response to your worry that you cannot pick up your son on Wednesday:
        If she prevents you from exercising your visitation, file for contempt.
        This was in response to you saying you would "talk" about her moving in:
        If she calls and says she wants to live with you again, just say no. Why in the world did you tell her that you needed to "talk" about it at all? There is nothing to talk about. You are not together and cannot live together. End of story.
        This was a response to your worry about her being homeless:
        If she ends up homeless, file for custody. Let her know that is your plan. And when she freaks out, remain calm and repeat, if you are homeless, I will file for custody CALMLY
        This was in response to your direct statement of "So I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated."
        Follow the order, and when she engages in her antics, keep your mouth shut.
        I did not in any way, shape or form "insist" I was there. YOU, my friend, have a flare for the dramatic, and that statement is simply proof.

        I didn't say the parenting time was not STANDARD. I said it was not standard to FATHERS, as you have posted on multiple threads. It is STANDARD to non-custodial parents. That is what you are. Not becuase you are the father, but because you don't have primary custody. If she is homeless, that will likely change.

        And you are right, I wasn't there. But your insistance that you are Joe Cool while she flies off the handle is tough to swallow.

        Comment


        • #5
          And I feel I need to add here:

          You disregarded the advice of your attorney, AND just the title of this thread alone is over-dramatic.

          No where in your post did you indicate that your ex had in fact filed any sort of police report, just that her father told you she was at the police station. Yet the title of the thread is "X FILED POLICE REPORT." Did she or didn't she?

          And when you called your attorney for advice (which you were charged for), you were told to hang tight. But instead, you decided to call the police and tell them her father threatened to kill you. Why? If you don't trust the advice of your attorney, then get a new one. But why would you blow your money asking for advice that you subsequently refuse to follow?

          And how is it that she almost ran you over if you had just closed the door for her? If you were standing at the driver's side door, she could not possibly have almost run you over unless she pulled forward then backed up or turned around. If she just drove off while you were standing there, she did not "almost run you over." You were not in front of the car and closing her door at the same time.

          I feel for your situation, I really do. But you post at least once a month on some major "event." Your child is suffering for it. Stop it.

          If you truly feel the child is in danger or will be homeless, FILE FOR CUSTODY. Otherwise, stop arguing with this woman. Just stop already. Beleive me, I speak from experience, and it CAN be done.
          Last edited by MomofBoys; 07-14-2008, 07:00 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            I mis-spoke I didn't speak to my atty until after I spoke to the police and it doesn't matter that I have to pay my atty. I just want our son to be safe. And besides I didn't know there was a limited number of times I could post. Thought this was a forum where I could get some advice. Yes I do listen to my atty but I do believe it is within my rights to ask for others advice. And it just seems like you are angry for whatever reason. So I would ask you not to respond and I would take my questions elsewhere. Thank you.
            Last edited by prouddaddy; 07-14-2008, 08:43 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by prouddaddy View Post
              I mis-spoke I didn't speak to my atty until after I spoke to the police and it doesn't matter that I have to pay my atty. I just want our son to be safe. And besides I didn't know there was a limited number of times I could post. Thought this was a forum where I could get some advice. Yes I do listen to my atty but I do believe it is within my rights to ask for others advice. And it just seems like you are angry for whatever reason. So I would ask you not to respond and I would take my questions elsewhere. Thank you.
              You absolutely have no business posting on a public board, then asking a specific person not to reply.

              How exactly do I SOUND angry? No seriously? I am telling you that you re being over-dramatic and making HUGE issues out of everthing that happens (which you are), and in typical avoidance fashion, you turn around and say that *I* am doing something.

              Don't shovel your crap about MY issues. I am no where even close to angry. Don't push YOUR issues off on other people.

              And you are hypocritical to boot. In the course of three sentences, you said you had the right to post here, then said that I should NOT post here. Which is it? People can be told not to post, or people cannot be told not to post?

              I gave you sound legal advice, and sound personal advice as someone who was in a very similar situation based on your posts. You can choose to ignore it. But don't tell me not to post it. Asking me not to reply is the same as saying, "Hey LLT poeple, I want advice but ONLY if you pat me on the back and tell me it's going to be all better, not if you are going to be hard on me a little."

              Ain't gonna happen, buddy.

              Comment


              • #8
                There is a way to give advice without being so rude about it. I come to this site to get good sound advice and not questions about why am I doing something ie pay my atty and still come to this site for advice. I wasn't saying you couldn't post I was saying don't feel you have to respond. I don't need to hear you ranting about my postings or my "tragedies". By the way if I seem "over dramatic" as you call it its because thats how outrageous this person is. And it is our son that I am trying to keep out of it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by prouddaddy View Post
                  There is a way to give advice without being so rude about it. I come to this site to get good sound advice and not questions about why am I doing something ie pay my atty and still come to this site for advice. I wasn't saying you couldn't post I was saying don't feel you have to respond. I don't need to hear you ranting about my postings or my "tragedies". By the way if I seem "over dramatic" as you call it its because thats how outrageous this person is. And it is our son that I am trying to keep out of it.
                  Your responses are slowly but surely revealing what type of person you truly are.

                  I didn't say anything at all... NOTHING... to indicate that you shouldn't come here when you have an attorney. I have an attorney. I come here.

                  I suggest you try reading a little better. I asked you why you bother to pay your attorney and then turn around and disregard his/her advice, which is what you appeared to be doing by calling your attorney and then calling the police anyway on your exes father. You now claim that you "mis-typed" it. Fine. That does nothing to negate the fact that you are claiming I said something when the actual evidence (which is the language of my posts) proves that you are wrong.

                  And again.... I am not "ranting."

                  Yor language ratchets up the level of everything. If you are so quick to call my honest and sound legal and personal advice as a "rant" when you don't even KNOW me, then I can only assume you do the same thing with this woman who has made your life very, very difficult.

                  You have also typed things like "I got the shaft!" in other threads, when what you got was, by your own account, as standard as it gets.

                  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and RE-READ my posts to you. They are FULL of sound advice. Follow it or don't. But if your level of annimosity toward the mother of your child is THIS obvious on a message board, it's like ringing a gong in front of your baby's face. Stop it.

                  If you don't like people thinking you are over-dramatic, stop being that way. But again, you have no business asking anyone to not respond.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MomofBoys View Post
                    Your responses are slowly but surely revealing what type of person you truly are.

                    I didn't say anything at all... NOTHING... to indicate that you shouldn't come here when you have an attorney. I have an attorney. I come here.

                    I suggest you try reading a little better. I asked you why you bother to pay your attorney and then turn around and disregard his/her advice, which is what you appeared to be doing by calling your attorney and then calling the police anyway on your exes father. You now claim that you "mis-typed" it. Fine. That does nothing to negate the fact that you are claiming I said something when the actual evidence (which is the language of my posts) proves that you are wrong.

                    And again.... I am not "ranting."

                    Yor language ratchets up the level of everything. If you are so quick to call my honest and sound legal and personal advice as a "rant" when you don't even KNOW me, then I can only assume you do the same thing with this woman who has made your life very, very difficult.

                    You have also typed things like "I got the shaft!" in other threads, when what you got was, by your own account, as standard as it gets.

                    Stop feeling sorry for yourself and RE-READ my posts to you. They are FULL of sound advice. Follow it or don't. But if your level of annimosity toward the mother of your child is THIS obvious on a message board, it's like ringing a gong in front of your baby's face. Stop it.

                    If you don't like people thinking you are over-dramatic, stop being that way. But again, you have no business asking anyone to not respond.
                    MOMOFBOYS - I think you need to settle down. This board is for individuals that need advice and you seem to be attacking the poster! If you have personal issues, they should not reflect your advice. I think you are being very rude and unprofessional. If you can not offer useful or kind advise, I would suggest you not respond because your post seem to show a lot of personal anger with your own situation/experience. Individuals post concerns, comments, or questions looking for assistance. Everyone has a right to their own opinion but you should not "attack" another individual in the way you have continued to respond.

                    I have had my own experience with the Michigan Family Courts and you can look at is as you wish but they favor the custodial parents (majority them being mothers), so yes the system is very biased!

                    The poster is looking out for the best interest of his child, so by taking his child out to the car was just a means of being civil. Something divorced parents needs to exercise more. In looking out for the poster, I would suggest that he never be in his/her parents house with her because false accusations can occur at anytime and he should diary every visit/exchange of his child to protect himself. If her father truly meant what he said or was just speaking out of anger does not matter because if the poster felt in danger he has a right to report it! I think he did the right thing because now her fathers threat is documented with the police. Its always better to be safe than sorry. One should NEVER threaten another life for any reason!

                    My advice to the poster is to NEVER argue or discuss any issues with the mother that could become argumentative with the child present because you never want the child to hear or pick up on this. The poster, parents are not responsible for the "ex" but she is now responsible for herself. If she is unable to care or provide for the child, then I would suggest the poster try to prove this in the family court system and get custody of his child until the mother can provide.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by sunnyMI View Post
                      MOMOFBOYS - I think you need to settle down.
                      First, it is commonly known than when you BOLD AND CAPITALIZE, you are indicating that you are yelling. You just "yelled" at me to settle down. THAT is hypocritical.

                      There is nothing unsettling about me. I am as cool as a a cucumber in a nice cozy fridge. I am not your child. You have no business telling anyone to settle down. But, I would love for you to point out where I was unsettled.


                      This board is for individuals that need advice and you seem to be attacking the poster!
                      No, I gave this poster advice. Lots of it. He ignored it.

                      If you have personal issues, they should not reflect your advice. I think you are being very rude and unprofessional. If you can not offer useful or kind advise, I would suggest you not respond because your post seem to show a lot of personal anger with your own situation/experience.

                      Individuals post concerns, comments, or questions looking for assistance. Everyone has a right to their own opinion but you should not "attack" another individual in the way you have continued to respond.
                      I love love LOVE this whole part. You STARTED by referring to my "personal issues" and "anger" (of which I actually have none, by the way) and finished with how I shouldn't "attack" someone. Again, I throw the hypocrite card.

                      I have had my own experience with the Michigan Family Courts and you can look at is as you wish but they favor the custodial parents (majority them being mothers), so yes the system is very biased!
                      I never once ever suggested that any court system anywhere lacks bias.

                      The poster is looking out for the best interest of his child, so by taking his child out to the car was just a means of being civil.
                      Perhaps to him it was. To her, it was an act of aggression and dominance, as in, HE made the decision about what she doing. It was a stupid thing to do, like it or not.

                      Something divorced parents needs to exercise more. In looking out for the poster, I would suggest that he never be in his/her parents house with her because false accusations can occur at anytime and he should diary every visit/exchange of his child to protect himself.
                      Ok.

                      If her father truly meant what he said or was just speaking out of anger does not matter because if the poster felt in danger he has a right to report it!
                      That's exactly what I said.

                      I think he did the right thing because now her fathers threat is documented with the police. Its always better to be safe than sorry. One should NEVER threaten another life for any reason!
                      No, it is NOT documented with the police. The police told him to come and file a report, but he thought they were "tricking" him.

                      My advice to the poster is to NEVER argue or discuss any issues with the mother that could become argumentative with the child present because you never want the child to hear or pick up on this. The poster, parents are not responsible for the "ex" but she is now responsible for herself. If she is unable to care or provide for the child, then I would suggest the poster try to prove this in the family court system and get custody of his child until the mother can provide.
                      Again, I said all the same things.

                      But hey, what do I know, my issues apparently leave me so unsettled.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        MOMOFBOYS - I think you need to settle down. This board is for individuals that need advice and you seem to be attacking the poster! If you have personal issues, they should not reflect your advice. I think you are being very rude and unprofessional. If you can not offer useful or kind advise, I would suggest you not respond because your post seem to show a lot of personal anger with your own situation/experience. Individuals post concerns, comments, or questions looking for assistance. Everyone has a right to their own opinion but you should not "attack" another individual in the way you have continued to respond.

                        I have had my own experience with the Michigan Family Courts and you can look at is as you wish but they favor the custodial parents (majority them being mothers), so yes the system is very biased!

                        The poster is looking out for the best interest of his child, so by taking his child out to the car was just a means of being civil. Something divorced parents needs to exercise more. In looking out for the poster, I would suggest that he never be in his/her parents house with her because false accusations can occur at anytime and he should diary every visit/exchange of his child to protect himself. If her father truly meant what he said or was just speaking out of anger does not matter because if the poster felt in danger he has a right to report it! I think he did the right thing because now her fathers threat is documented with the police. Its always better to be safe than sorry. One should NEVER threaten another life for any reason!

                        My advice to the poster is to NEVER argue or discuss any issues with the mother that could become argumentative with the child present because you never want the child to hear or pick up on this. The poster, parents are not responsible for the "ex" but she is now responsible for herself. If she is unable to care or provide for the child, then I would suggest the poster try to prove this in the family court system and get custody of his child until the mother can provide.
                        She's settled enough. I would further suggest you not instruct any other member in how or when or to whom she may respond.

                        So far, apparently, the mother is starving the child, is unstable, combative, argumentative, unfit, and (along with her father) plotting his murder while HE is getting screwed in CS, only got standard visitation for 'fathers' (a repeated refrain), had a police report filed, was being pissy about switching one day of visitation just because.....

                        It goes on and on and on. It takes two to fight. There is no way this OP isn't engaging in these ongoing battles. I suspect, as a matter of fact, that the OP is supremely passive aggressive and giving himself pats on the back for 'rising above it all' when in fact he is just as responsible for this mess.

                        The OP is looking for anybody to tell him how to get his way in all things and maintain ultimate control. News flash....ain't gonna' happen. It's time for both of these parents to grow the heck up. They don't have the right to act like babies now that they are responsible for an actual baby.

                        I would really like to know what the arrest that has NOT been discharged is for.
                        Last edited by mommyof4; 07-15-2008, 07:22 PM.
                        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                        (unique up on him)
                        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                        (same way)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          So, Prouddaddy.....

                          Is your baby boy starving to death in the streets yet? See where I'm going with this?
                          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                          (unique up on him)
                          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                          (same way)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by sunnyMI View Post
                            MOMOFBOYS - I think you need to settle down. This board is for individuals that need advice and you seem to be attacking the poster! If you have personal issues, they should not reflect your advice. I think you are being very rude and unprofessional. If you can not offer useful or kind advise, I would suggest you not respond because your post seem to show a lot of personal anger with your own situation/experience. Individuals post concerns, comments, or questions looking for assistance. Everyone has a right to their own opinion but you should not "attack" another individual in the way you have continued to respond.

                            I have had my own experience with the Michigan Family Courts and you can look at is as you wish but they favor the custodial parents (majority them being mothers), so yes the system is very biased!

                            The poster is looking out for the best interest of his child, so by taking his child out to the car was just a means of being civil. Something divorced parents needs to exercise more. In looking out for the poster, I would suggest that he never be in his/her parents house with her because false accusations can occur at anytime and he should diary every visit/exchange of his child to protect himself. If her father truly meant what he said or was just speaking out of anger does not matter because if the poster felt in danger he has a right to report it! I think he did the right thing because now her fathers threat is documented with the police. Its always better to be safe than sorry. One should NEVER threaten another life for any reason!

                            My advice to the poster is to NEVER argue or discuss any issues with the mother that could become argumentative with the child present because you never want the child to hear or pick up on this. The poster, parents are not responsible for the "ex" but she is now responsible for herself. If she is unable to care or provide for the child, then I would suggest the poster try to prove this in the family court system and get custody of his child until the mother can provide.
                            Thank you sunnymi I appreciate your understanding. I am not here to have someone tell me what I want to hear but to get others opinions. I have had no contact with her since that night. Actually I had picked up our son this morning. I had taken my parents with me and actually her mother (X at work) was in the drive waiting for me. So the pick up went smooth. I plan to have another person with me at all times during all pick ups. Now I just have to see what will happen next sunday when my summer time 2 weeks start. She has already told me she would not allow me to have him. I have attached that parenting time to my weekend so I would assume if she does get him at the end of the weekend I am just to give him to her and then file in court?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So, again, your fears have not come to pass. You haven't been arrested and you weren't denied your parenting time.

                              Here's a little common sense about your summer visitation. If you have him for the weekend and your summer time starts that Monday, don't take him back until your 2 weeks are up (assuming of course that YOU are in compliance with the court order regarding notification of dates within the ordered time period.) See? No contempt issue to deal with and she has zippo to take you to court over.
                              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                              (unique up on him)
                              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                              (same way)

                              Comment

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