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Mother is taking child out of NY tomorrow- dad needs help fast! New York

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  • Mother is taking child out of NY tomorrow- dad needs help fast! New York

    Thanks for your time - i was going through previous posts and found a similar situation but I need some advice on how to move forward now that the mother of my child will be flying out of the state tomorrow with baby.

    here is the situation so far:
    1. we were not together when baby was born but have acknowledgment of paternity done
    2. baby was born and has lived with the mother since birth (baby is now 18 months old)
    3. I have been giving her $$ for the baby using checks written out to mother's name but for child support. We never went to court to determine amount or filed support, we worked it out together and I have a signed notarized copy of our agreement for amount and purpose.
    4.I have been visiting baby 5x a week for 2-4 hours a day at mother's home
    5. Mother started seeing someone online and is now planning on moving to another state to be with new man
    6. I found a plane ticket when i was in her home to fly out tomorrow (6-24) last week (she was not planning to tell me about it!) and immediately went to family court in NYC to file for custody (last tuesday) and have served her papers(last saturday) that say that baby is not allowed to leave the jurisdiction of the court
    7. 2 days pass without any communication on her end- calls made and messages sent were unresponsive
    8. Today, I was served with papers stating that
    -i never wanted custody of the child
    -i never gave her $$ for child support
    - she is able to travel out of the jurisdiction with my baby.

    This is the situation thus far and I am at a total loss as to what I can do to stop her!! Is there a way to overrule the court papers that she served me with since it was all lies?

    Anyone with any previous experience or knowledge, please let me know - I doubt i will be able to get any sleep at all tonight! In advance, I truly appreciate your time and effort!
    Last edited by singledad2008; 06-23-2008, 05:10 PM. Reason: added information

  • #2
    Until you get into court and get a court order restraining her from removing the child from the state, no, there is nothing you can do to stop her (especially in 12-18 hours, no less).

    However, she will have to come back to NY for court and the court will most likely order her to return the child to the state.

    At NO time will you be able to stop HER from leaving the state.
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)


    • #3
      Thanks for the input - i should have got the restraining order the first time I went to court, but had not anticipated it - I am just looking to make sure the baby does not leave, I guess there really isn't a way for me to stop her from leaving, as you had mentioned.

      another inquiry, is there a way for me to get visitation while we wait for the court date? The upcoming court date will be our first dealing with the family court system as we were trying to work something out amicably, but taking the baby out of the state for 3 weeks without any prior notice, out of courtesy, to me was very upsetting and made me move forward with the court papers.

      Please advise further - thanks


      • #4
        Depending on several different factors the court may order the child returned to the state and it may not. If there is no pre-existing custody order and you and the mother were not married there is nothing to keep her from leaving the state with the child. If, in the meantime before you go to court she settles in a good job and can show that moving was an improvement to her way of life it is possible they will not make her bring the child back. New York law may be different but I have experience with similar situations in 3 different states (Arkansas, Missouri and Iowa) and each time that has been the case. You can prove the $$ amounts you have paid but do you have any proof or witnesses as to the amount of time you have spent with this child? If you had already filed custody proceedings that might barr her from taking the child out of state as well. One final question, where is she flying to? Sometimes the distance is a factor in the courts decision as well.


        • #5
          Also, being allowed to TRAVEL out of state with baby is different than being allowed to MOVE. What exactly did the paper say?


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