visitation for spouse of the non custodial parent Virginia

[chris1228]

xpq,

When all of this first started, the bio had it in court and then dismissed the child support through the courts. The mom and dad had reached an agreement, same amount just not thorugh the court. Anyway the visitation was set up at the start as well, and even though the dad did not know about the child for almost three years the bio mom got her way in court. Supervised visits at her house or in public, she always choose her house to make things comfortable for the boy, so she said. Anyway, in order to keep it that way she would show for the visits for a few months and then stop a few months so that she would state that the son needed to get to know the father all over again with supervised visits at her house. The supervised visits were to be conducted by her only, no one from the court.
So this leads to another question, is the visitation order and joint custody order still in affect since the child support case was dismissed through the courts?

[xpq559]

This is starting to get quite complicated. I would strongly suggest that if your husband wants to begin a relationship with this boy that he retains an attorney. The fact that you seem unsure whether or not there is an order, should be enough to warrant seeking some sort of professional legal advice.


First, since your husband was not in the child’s life for his first three years, it is not unreasonable that supervised visits be required. It is also not unreasonable that the visitation should take place at the mother’s home or a public place. What is not allowed is for the mother to not show up at those visitations with the child. If there is a standing court order for visitation, and the mother is preventing the child from attending those visitations, then she is in violation of the order. Your husband needs to find out if there is a court order for visitation, and get a copy of that order. If the mother has been in violation of that order, your husband needs to ask the court to enforce the order. If he believes that the mother has been keeping the child from him, then he could ask that the court appoint a moderator to act as the supervisor and make sure the child is available for all visitations. Then if the mother does not bring the child to the visitation times, he will have a third party that can confirm her lack of co-operation. The moderator will also be a good witness to decide when your husband and the child are ready for unsupervised visits.

If there is no court order, he needs to go to court and get one. Also, if there is no court order for child support, he needs to stop paying it. I don’t want to sound cruel, but if she wants to play this game, then force her to go to court and collect child support. Once in court, then your husband can again agree to pay child support, and then he can ask for visitation at the same time. But, DON”T STOP PAYING UNLESS HE KNOWS FOR SURE THERE IS NO COURT ORDER! If there is a court order, he should be able to find a copy of it at the clerk’s office at the court house. Again, I strongly recommend that he get an attorney before he does anything.

The main thing I want to express to you is that your husband needs to do all these things. You can not do them for him. To be very blunt, if your husband has decided that he does not want to do anything about this, there is nothing you can be other than hound him about it. If he refuses, you just need to drop it. Although I can see you are proceeding with the best of intentions, this is not your battle.

[chris1228]

xpq559

Thank you for your input and I will check into it. Once again thank you.

[hlb]

Do get a court oder for child support and visitation. She can say that he hasn't paid a dime and he'll own from the past.
Thank God that he cares, but do the paper work with the court system as they don't care.