Grandparents right North Carolina North Carolina

[hlb]

We have hired a lawyer since we haven't seen our grandson in a year. One time at his T-ball game. He asked his mother if he could stay with us for an HOUR! She said no. I knew then that she wouldn't let us see him.
He was 7 this past July. She and my son never married, but up until this time last year, we never had a problem seeing him. My son lives in Florida, so he hasn't seen his son either. When we call, she will not let us speak to him. Since we hired a lawyer, she has now, he recieved paper today, to terminate his rights! He is behind on support, but he's been out of work, plus has a 4 year old with him that his mother left.
What will happen? What should we do?

[mommyof4]

Well, YOU should drop your lawsuit. You don't have a legal right to have visitation with your grandson. I have a feeling that is only making this matter worse. North Carolina only allows for GP visitation in cases of divorce...and even then, it's a long shot.

Your son needs to respond to the suit to TPR. It doesn't matter WHY he is not supporting his child. It only matters that he is not. He has 2 children for whom he is responsible. It's not the mother's fault that Dad can't get his stuff together.


Is Mom remarried? When is the last time your son had contact with the child?

[ShakinThingzUp]

I am quite certain that his Mom is very bitter about Dad stepping out of the picture, not communicating or visiting his son & being behind on child support.

Unfortunately, many moms are not able to separate Dad from Dad's family - and as a result, Grandparents with good intentions are left out of the picture.... those moms simply consider grandparents as an extension of the Dad...

I am remarried, and have always made every effort for my bio-son to see his paternal grandparents & extended family despite his Dad's lack of interest. One reason is because of the way everything was handled by those grandparents. Based on their wonderful example, here's what I would suggest:

1 - Drop the lawsuit.
2 - Call her (or send a letter if she wont talk to you) & apologize for filing the lawsuit. Explain that you feel desperate to visit with your grandson, that you are bothered by your sons lack of involvement with him & that you love him very much.... (if this is true), then tell her your intention was not to make things difficult for her, but only to try and see your Grandson. ASK her yourself if there is any way she would allow you to see him....... possibly just starting with a meal at McDonalds shared with her so she can see you are not talking trash about her to her son. (Thats often the biggest fear).
3 - Ask if you can call and talk to him (welcome her monitoring the calls) even if you cant see him.
4 - Ask if you can mail him things (birthday cards, small gifts, letters) and get her mailing address
5 - Most importantly - tell her that no matter what happens between she and your son, that you would like to maintain a relationship with your grandson, and you would like to stay out of the court battle completely and leave it to them.......... and if you have the ability, ask if there is anything you can do for her since she has not received the financial support she needs for him.... (Even if you can't do much, you may be able to purchase needed shoes, coats, etc for your grandson - offer these specifics if that helps).

My ex-husbands parents and his grandparents did these things for YEARS while my ex saw our son less and less........ I maintained a wonderful relationship with them and made every effort to allow them to see him.

God Bless!
Amy

[mom26]

So why don't your son have contact with the child? That is his own fault and I don't blame mom, but I don't think you have a case you probly just made things worse...

[hlb]

Just came back from our lawyer. The law in NC. Grandparents DO have rights. Up to the court. If both parents give up their rights to a child, then the grandparents don't have a leg to stand on.
Everything was fine with the mother and I until she got pregnant with her boyfriend now. We always talked. He has told her that he will NOT marry her until the dad is out of the picture. We saw our grandson for maybe 6 hours last year
His dad has seen him. We took him to Florida in 2006. And he would call all time time until the mother wouldn't let him talk to his son. Parents are not suppose to say bad things about the other one, but the last time we had him, he didn't want to talk to his dad because he was told that he didn't love him because he "Owe's mommie money" I wonder where that came from!
I have asked several times "why". Evenhen we call, she want let us talk to him
I will NOT give up. Why should I? Just because this guy thinks we should?
What trash are they telling him?
LISTEN PEOPLE! These are children that you are messing up.
Yes, we hall have problems, but don't take it out on them.