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Visitation Question In Florida

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  • Visitation Question In Florida

    Hey everyone, I got a question...

    My husband has temp custody of his 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship. It was ordered on Aug 22nd of this year. The last time my stepdaughter's mother called was on 12/12 at 6:19 AM crying wanting to talk to her daughter. She knows good well she is sleeping. The time before that was a week prior to that. Her phone calls are vary speratic and she hardly ever calls anymore. She hasent gotten her on any of her visitations since Oct. 11th. The mother's parents DO get her on every Thursday which leaves the Wed visiation open for the mother to get her but she hasent in 2 1/2 months. The grandparents have been getting her every other weekend along with their Thursdays my hubby allowed them to have to keep the whole family in her life.

    Now in Florida the guidelines state that for Christmas vacation the non-custodial parent get the child from the day school lets out til December 25th @ 3pm. If you are not getting the child during your HOLIDAY you MUST call 1 week prior to let the custodial parent know. Well Wednesday was the start of the Christmas visitation for the mother. We did not hear from the mother at all.

    Yesterday, Thursday, the grandmother called us wanting to know if they could get the child from Friday til Sunday, which they had her last weekend on the mothers visitaion yet again. The mother DID NOT visit. We already made plans since the mother never called us to get the child so we made plans accordingly. So we told them they could have the child on Christmas Day at 3 pm for a little while.

    Then today, Friday, the mother called to speak to her daughter. The first we have heard from her in weeks. My husband is to have her (going by the state guidelines) from December 25th, at 3 pm til school resumes on Jan 8th. The guidelines say no parent is to have the child 3 weeks in a row. So do we need to allow the mother have her next weekend even though it's in my husband's visitation shedule for him to have her during those days. We already made plans to do things during this break. We werent sure if the mother was going to get her daughter or not for Christmas. We thought she would have, right?

    This would make my hubby have his child for 3 weeks straight. We just want to do what's fair but not ruin our plans as a family with our daughter we have together and my stepdaughter. We would like to do it with all 4 of us.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated. If you need more info I can explain, just let me know. Most of you probably know most of my story but if not please ask. Thanks and Merry Christmas!!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
    Hey everyone, I got a question...

    My husband has temp custody of his 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship. It was ordered on Aug 22nd of this year. The last time my stepdaughter's mother called was on 12/12 at 6:19 AM crying wanting to talk to her daughter. She knows good well she is sleeping. The time before that was a week prior to that. Her phone calls are vary speratic and she hardly ever calls anymore. She hasent gotten her on any of her visitations since Oct. 11th. The mother's parents DO get her on every Thursday which leaves the Wed visiation open for the mother to get her but she hasent in 2 1/2 months. The grandparents have been getting her every other weekend along with their Thursdays my hubby allowed them to have to keep the whole family in her life.

    Now in Florida the guidelines state that for Christmas vacation the non-custodial parent get the child from the day school lets out til December 25th @ 3pm. If you are not getting the child during your HOLIDAY you MUST call 1 week prior to let the custodial parent know. Well Wednesday was the start of the Christmas visitation for the mother. We did not hear from the mother at all.

    Yesterday, Thursday, the grandmother called us wanting to know if they could get the child from Friday til Sunday, which they had her last weekend on the mothers visitaion yet again. The mother DID NOT visit. We already made plans since the mother never called us to get the child so we made plans accordingly. So we told them they could have the child on Christmas Day at 3 pm for a little while.

    Then today, Friday, the mother called to speak to her daughter. The first we have heard from her in weeks. My husband is to have her (going by the state guidelines) from December 25th, at 3 pm til school resumes on Jan 8th. The guidelines say no parent is to have the child 3 weeks in a row. So do we need to allow the mother have her next weekend even though it's in my husband's visitation shedule for him to have her during those days. We already made plans to do things during this break. We werent sure if the mother was going to get her daughter or not for Christmas. We thought she would have, right?

    This would make my hubby have his child for 3 weeks straight. We just want to do what's fair but not ruin our plans as a family with our daughter we have together and my stepdaughter. We would like to do it with all 4 of us.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated. If you need more info I can explain, just let me know. Most of you probably know most of my story but if not please ask. Thanks and Merry Christmas!!
    thats alot of research, in custody orders nothing ever goes as plans most of the time, if the mom and dad of the child are civil in the matter they can agree to pretty much what they want. if u r bringing up how the mom didnt get the child 4 xmas why not let the grandparents take her, maybe the mom sees her over the grandparents house probably to avoid any problems it seems she is having. but u say you already made plans yet your complaining. suppose to call 1 wk early......cant have the child for 3 wks straight.....etc. etc. do whats right for the child and keep the disputes to a minimum...it matters in the long run....

    Comment


    • #3
      First of all, we didnt make plans until after we realized that she wasnt coming to pick her daughter up, or we would have let them have her. Our plans shouldnt have to be put on hold because they call and want her when they want. Her mother only wants her when she wants her and other then that its not her responsibility. They (the childs parenst) are not civil or I wouldnt be asking for advice. It would be cut and dry. We let the grandparents see her every other weekend and once a week and the mother never goes over there to see her then. We have taken care of her for 9 months now straight and if the mother dont want her for Christmas then MY hubby at lease deserves to have her with him. The mothers own parents want supervised visits because she is unfit so we are doing what we think is right for the child. Our plans were for the whole weekend and with family who have never seen our child we have together and then their child.
      Why should all of our plans have to wait to be made, thats BS? Out of respect she should call and let us know if she is getting her OR NOT. We had her bags packed and waited by the door at her "normal" time to pick her up, which its never her its her mother picking her up. So where do you see the mother doing whats right for the child? Just so you know the mother signed her over so she could get her life straight. She still dont have a home, job, license, car, or her child. So dont call it complaining when I have taken a child in as my own and am raising it with NO HELP from the mother. We have been very fair with NO disputing. The grandparents have NO RIGHTS in Florida, yet we still allow the grandparents visitation and thats because they deserve that and so does the child.
      The "cant have the child for 3 weeks straight" is a guideline not a complaint!!!
      Whoever picks the child up signs a book everytime they get her and they write in it what time they pick her up and who sees her, and whether the mother sees her or not, and everytime they have signed it, it has been a NO!!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
        First of all, we didnt make plans until after we realized that she wasnt coming to pick her daughter up, or we would have let them have her. Our plans shouldnt have to be put on hold because they call and want her when they want. Her mother only wants her when she wants her and other then that its not her responsibility. They (the childs parenst) are not civil or I wouldnt be asking for advice. It would be cut and dry. We let the grandparents see her every other weekend and once a week and the mother never goes over there to see her then. We have taken care of her for 9 months now straight and if the mother dont want her for Christmas then MY hubby at lease deserves to have her with him. The mothers own parents want supervised visits because she is unfit so we are doing what we think is right for the child. Our plans were for the whole weekend and with family who have never seen our child we have together and then their child.
        Why should all of our plans have to wait to be made, thats BS? Out of respect she should call and let us know if she is getting her OR NOT. We had her bags packed and waited by the door at her "normal" time to pick her up, which its never her its her mother picking her up. So where do you see the mother doing whats right for the child? Just so you know the mother signed her over so she could get her life straight. She still dont have a home, job, license, car, or her child. So dont call it complaining when I have taken a child in as my own and am raising it with NO HELP from the mother. We have been very fair with NO disputing. The grandparents have NO RIGHTS in Florida, yet we still allow the grandparents visitation and thats because they deserve that and so does the child.
        The "cant have the child for 3 weeks straight" is a guideline not a complaint!!!
        Whoever picks the child up signs a book everytime they get her and they write in it what time they pick her up and who sees her, and whether the mother sees her or not, and everytime they have signed it, it has been a NO!!!!
        guidelines that you obviously have studied, book??sign??? what the....?????
        there is two sides to every story....i only comment on what you wrote....your saying guidelines.....is the guideline person watching your every move?? you have alot of anger towards the mother, you have the child, take care of the child, put more energy into that. you husband knows more about the situation with her mother ask him how you should handle the situation. merry xmas!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          The mother always throws guidelines up in our face saying that it says this so we are doing it this way. We are following them because she wants to follow them. The judge will want them to follow them. Actually my husband asked me to write on here cause there are people on here who know the laws and what the judge will like. He is trying to do whats right for his daughter thats why we were asking questions. I know his daughter just as much as he does. We were married 8 months before we even knew he had a daughter with this girl. I have spent her whole life with her and she lives with us. I dont have anger towars her mother, I just want her to be there for her daughter. I see how much her daughter misses her and I want her to do right.

          Just so you can have some background and understand why we are being cautious... the mother got her daughter a couple of months ago. She wanted her for a 4 day weekend, so my husband said yes and she went over to her moms home. 4 hours after she got her, the mother disappeared and was gone for 10 days. He family had to bring her back to us early. Another time, she had her daughter with her she left in the middle of the night and didnt come back til 10 am the next morning. She wasnt worried cause she knew she would be back before her daughter woke up. Her (grandmother) mother found out and brought her back to us yet again. There are a lot more incedences. Thats why we want to make sure we make every right move. We dont want to endanger the child. Thats why I dont appreciate the rude comments when there are a lot more facts I didnt go into on here.

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          • #6
            not being rude... only responding to the story you've given. seen situations like this before...feel for you....really won't end.....

            Comment


            • #7
              Thats why I say ask questions before leaving comments on something you dont have all the info about. If you know Xena on here she is my friend and she knows what I am going through. I am not a bad person and I work everyday to take care of my family.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
                Thats why I say ask questions before leaving comments on something you dont have all the info about. If you know Xena on here she is my friend and she knows what I am going through. I am not a bad person and I work everyday to take care of my family.
                OK, for starters, there are two threads on the same issue here, and they need to me kept to one, because it is confusing.

                That said, it is YOUR JOB as the poster to provide us with the story. You simply can't paint a partial picture of your situation, then get angry that the responses are tailored to that picture. Your other thread never once mentions fears of child endangerment. No one thinks you are a bad person... we don't even know you. But please tell the whole story at one time, not bits and pieces. That way, you will get better responses with more accurate advice.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Michelle523 View Post
                  Thats why I say ask questions before leaving comments on something you dont have all the info about. If you know Xena on here she is my friend and she knows what I am going through. I am not a bad person and I work everyday to take care of my family.
                  If Xena knows the whole story ask her, dont get angry because i have commented on the story you have given, tell the whole story to get a fair response....still again there is two sides to every story...

                  Comment

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