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Just a question Colorado Utah California

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  • #31
    she could force a paternity test- yes. a court could order you to do it, however since he is on the bc, i doubt they could come back on you for anything. he would have to establish he is not the father (which may happen if they separate and he doesn't want to pay CS)
    your decision now is whether, if the child is yours, you want to be a part of its life. If not, that is your choice. you need to decide though. I know money is an issue, but there a lot of fathers rights lawyers that will take your case for a reduced amount or will set up payment plans.
    The proper way (and the best way to protect all ppl legally) is to get the paternity test. if it shows you aren't the father then you are done. Wish them well and be on your way. If you are the father- you need to decide what to do. Be a part of his life (pay child support and set up visitation) or sign over your rights to the stb stepdad as soon as they have been married a year. I would think the fiance would want the testing so that there is no way you could come back later and take "his" son. If you decide you are going to let him adopt if the child is yours, call your ex and say "hey- I think we need to know one way or another. If he is mine and your fiance would like to adopt him, I will sign over my rights to him, but we need to do it legally to protect everyone in the future." They might be willing to pay for it to get you out of their lives (as her fiance put it)

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    • #32
      Originally posted by kcm View Post
      My Bf seems to trust her, and tells me that the only reason they broke up, is because she was moving to another state to stay with her family, and he didnt want to leave his family to go live with hers. I still say that even if she isnt going to make him pay CS, unless he files then he should do it anyway. Wouldnt you?
      Sounds like you are a pretty smart woman. If the ONLY REASON they broke up is because she left, AND HE TRUSTS HER,
      My Advice - Get Away as fast as you can.
      Or, if you are sure you are hooked on him and he on you, He needs to establish paternity imediately, no excuses, no waiting. If she files for state assistance, and names him the father, he will either pay CS and interest at some future date, or at worst he will have no rights legally untill he does.
      What is veiwed is not always what is seen and
      what is heard is not always what is spoken!
      ~M. Noitall~

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      • #33
        One other really important reason to establish paternity is the very real possibility of a medical necessity someday. People don't like to think of it, but if this child one day needs to be treated medically with a bone marrow transplant or something of that manner, and you are the biological father, then you (or your future children) may be the only one(s) who can help. People don't like to think about it, but it happens. The child is also entitled to know your family medical history for similar reasons.

        This CHILD has a right to know who his biological father is, whether you stay in his life or not. You need to find out.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by MomofBoys View Post
          One other really important reason to establish paternity is the very real possibility of a medical necessity someday. People don't like to think of it, but if this child one day needs to be treated medically with a bone marrow transplant or something of that manner, and you are the biological father, then you (or your future children) may be the only one(s) who can help. People don't like to think about it, but it happens. The child is also entitled to know your family medical history for similar reasons
          Excellant point. It's so scary to think about all of the people who's mother's never told them who thier bio father is and needs to find out someday and can't.

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