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need help quickly! Pennsylvania

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  • need help quickly! Pennsylvania

    I have a very serious problem. My daughter is 20 months old. I am 21, almost 22. Her father is a few days older than me. When I was pregnant I broke up with him because he became abusive. During a fight he pushed me and I almost fell off the curb in front of an oncoming car. I had to call police several times to force him to leave my property. It was recommended that I file a PFA but I never did. He served probation time for sleeping with a minor and had to attend sex offender classes. He has also made sexual comments about our daughter. During the remainder of my pregnancy after we broke up, he denied paternity. He showed up at the hospital while I was in labor and demanded to be in the room for the birth. After the birth he refused to sign paternity papers and then "forgot" to pick us up from the hospital. I forced a paternity test and finally filed for child support. Despite the fact that he works full time making $14 an hour the court only ordered $180 a month in support. He lives at home with his parents and has no bills besides his cell phone and gas in his truck. I have gotten one child support payment in the last three months despite a wage garnishment order. I finally filed contempt on him and the hearing will be January 10th, 2007. My biggest problem now is that we don't have a custody agreement. I was letting him see her pretty much whenever he wanted but now with him refusing to pay support and the things he does I don't want to send my daughter over there. He is going to be 22 in a few days and his girlfriend is 16 and she has a six month old son that he calls his despite not being the biological father. He didn't see our daughter for 3-4 months and then wanted to take her Trick-or-Treating for Halloween. He brought her back covered in mud and said he'd dropped her getting her out of his truck. Then he wanted her for Thanksgiving so I dropped her off at his house. The kicker was he wasn't there! He was with his 16 year old girlfriend and her son. Now he wants our daughter for Christmas Eve and Christmas! I raise her every day and support her on my own 95% of the time. Shouldn't I get to celebrate a holiday with her? He only wants her on the holidays when his family is around and begging to see her. I'm afraid if I file for custody they'll grant him visitation and he'll demand to have her every holiday or she'll be sent there more often. She already screams when she sees him. She doesn't know him and my heart breaks every time I force her to go to him. I guess my question is this... Since we don't have a custody order can I legally deny him visitation or limit his visitation? I know he won't file for custody ( He can't part with $180 a month for her... He'll never pay attorney fees). If he never files for custody he can't force me to let him see the baby right? Any opinions, suggestions, or help is greatly appreciated! Thanks...

  • #2
    Originally posted by warriorprncss3 View Post
    I have a very serious problem. My daughter is 20 months old. I am 21, almost 22. Her father is a few days older than me. When I was pregnant I broke up with him because he became abusive. During a fight he pushed me and I almost fell off the curb in front of an oncoming car. I had to call police several times to force him to leave my property. It was recommended that I file a PFA but I never did. He served probation time for sleeping with a minor and had to attend sex offender classes. He has also made sexual comments about our daughter. During the remainder of my pregnancy after we broke up, he denied paternity. He showed up at the hospital while I was in labor and demanded to be in the room for the birth. After the birth he refused to sign paternity papers and then "forgot" to pick us up from the hospital. I forced a paternity test and finally filed for child support. Despite the fact that he works full time making $14 an hour the court only ordered $180 a month in support. He lives at home with his parents and has no bills besides his cell phone and gas in his truck. I have gotten one child support payment in the last three months despite a wage garnishment order. I finally filed contempt on him and the hearing will be January 10th, 2007. My biggest problem now is that we don't have a custody agreement. I was letting him see her pretty much whenever he wanted but now with him refusing to pay support and the things he does I don't want to send my daughter over there. He is going to be 22 in a few days and his girlfriend is 16 and she has a six month old son that he calls his despite not being the biological father. He didn't see our daughter for 3-4 months and then wanted to take her Trick-or-Treating for Halloween. He brought her back covered in mud and said he'd dropped her getting her out of his truck. Then he wanted her for Thanksgiving so I dropped her off at his house. The kicker was he wasn't there! He was with his 16 year old girlfriend and her son. Now he wants our daughter for Christmas Eve and Christmas! I raise her every day and support her on my own 95% of the time. Shouldn't I get to celebrate a holiday with her? He only wants her on the holidays when his family is around and begging to see her. I'm afraid if I file for custody they'll grant him visitation and he'll demand to have her every holiday or she'll be sent there more often. She already screams when she sees him. She doesn't know him and my heart breaks every time I force her to go to him. I guess my question is this... Since we don't have a custody order can I legally deny him visitation or limit his visitation? I know he won't file for custody ( He can't part with $180 a month for her... He'll never pay attorney fees). If he never files for custody he can't force me to let him see the baby right? Any opinions, suggestions, or help is greatly appreciated! Thanks...
    Is there a court order for visitation?
    If not, you do not have to allow any visits, and can set the rules as to when he does visit.

    Why does a convicted sex offender have a 16 yr old girlfriend? In most states, even after fulfilling a sentence/probation, a sex offender cannot have any contact with a minor. It sounds like there is a real problem there, you really need to protect your daughter by filing for both custody and supervision for visitation.

    Comment


    • #3
      Girl are you crazy I would never let a sex offender be alone with my child, even if he is the father!!Especially if he wants nothing to do with her, and takes her and brings her back covered in mud. That is not right! you have been very kind to let him have her when ever he wants, and I would not let him take her for Christmas. If his family wants to see her, then I would tell them to meet you at a nuetral place and let them see her. I would never just leave her, especially if she doesnt want to stay. Isn't it torture not knowing how your baby is doing, and if she is even being cared for???
      I agree with xena how is a 22yr old sex offender with a 16 yr old girl? That is not right he should be in jail just for that!
      Last edited by mickeymouse_5472; 12-08-2006, 10:04 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you

        No there is no court order for visitation. Unfortunately, after completing probation and the sex offender classes he was turned back upon society with no supervision what so ever. His name isn't even on the sex offender registry. And in Pennsylvania I believe 16 is the legal age of consent so it's not like I can even report him.

        Once, when my daughter was a few weeks old he told me he had a gun in his truck. He was still on probation so I called his PO and told him that he was threatening me and said he had a gun. Still nothing happened. I'm so afraid that if I take him for custody he'll get more visitation then I already allow. The only reason I haven't denied him any and all visitation was because I was told it would look bad on me if/when he took me to court.

        Yes, it kills me every time he or his family has her. I just thought I didn't have a choice. I know I'm doing what's best for my daughter if I don't allow her to go there but I was always afraid it would come back to haunt me if he ever sued for custody. The more I think about it the more I know it's better for her if I just cut off all contact with him. If he wants to see her then he can prove it by taking me to court. With everything from his past and everything he's done since her conception I seriously doubt there's any way he could get more than supervised visitation. So anyway, thank you all for your quick help. I'm trying to gather as much info as possible before our hearing on January 10th. That way I'll just file for custody and an increase in child support all on that same day as well. Thanks again.

        Sara

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by warriorprncss3 View Post
          No there is no court order for visitation. Unfortunately, after completing probation and the sex offender classes he was turned back upon society with no supervision what so ever. His name isn't even on the sex offender registry. And in Pennsylvania I believe 16 is the legal age of consent so it's not like I can even report him.

          Once, when my daughter was a few weeks old he told me he had a gun in his truck. He was still on probation so I called his PO and told him that he was threatening me and said he had a gun. Still nothing happened. I'm so afraid that if I take him for custody he'll get more visitation then I already allow. The only reason I haven't denied him any and all visitation was because I was told it would look bad on me if/when he took me to court.

          Yes, it kills me every time he or his family has her. I just thought I didn't have a choice. I know I'm doing what's best for my daughter if I don't allow her to go there but I was always afraid it would come back to haunt me if he ever sued for custody. The more I think about it the more I know it's better for her if I just cut off all contact with him. If he wants to see her then he can prove it by taking me to court. With everything from his past and everything he's done since her conception I seriously doubt there's any way he could get more than supervised visitation. So anyway, thank you all for your quick help. I'm trying to gather as much info as possible before our hearing on January 10th. That way I'll just file for custody and an increase in child support all on that same day as well. Thanks again.

          Sara
          Can you get his criminal records? They should be available thru the court clerks office and should be public record. If he was convicted of a sexual crime involving a minor he should be listed on the federal registry and probably the state registry also. This is going to be your biggest asset if he ever files for visitation. Although the age of consent might be 16, it normally doesn't apply to a convicted sex offender. Right now you should probably cut all visits, as you said,if he wants to he can go to court. Then you can present all of the evidence and ask that if visitation is ordered that it be minimal and supervised.

          Comment


          • #6
            Dunno

            I really have no idea if I can get his criminal record. I know he's not listed on any registries as I've checked the website for PA for his name. Thanks again for all your help. I will let you know if I do get his background and what it shows and also how things go.

            Comment


            • #7
              okay

              I went to the EPATCH system website and paid $10 just to be told he has no record. So then I checked out some PA law which says that if they are only charged with corruption of a minor like he was then they don't have to register as sex offenders. I'm going to have to find out if I can get copies of the police reports I filed when he was harassing me. Otherwise I have nothing against him except for him dating a 16 year old and the log I've been keeping of his calls, visits, etc. This stinks! It seriously scares me to think that guys like him walk free every day and someday my daughter might unknowingly date one of them. Even if I ran a background check it won't show because they just wipe their slate clean after they serve their probation. This is disgusting! I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go to bed. I'll probably be having nightmares. Geesh!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by warriorprncss3 View Post
                I went to the EPATCH system website and paid $10 just to be told he has no record. So then I checked out some PA law which says that if they are only charged with corruption of a minor like he was then they don't have to register as sex offenders. I'm going to have to find out if I can get copies of the police reports I filed when he was harassing me. Otherwise I have nothing against him except for him dating a 16 year old and the log I've been keeping of his calls, visits, etc. This stinks! It seriously scares me to think that guys like him walk free every day and someday my daughter might unknowingly date one of them. Even if I ran a background check it won't show because they just wipe their slate clean after they serve their probation. This is disgusting! I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go to bed. I'll probably be having nightmares. Geesh!
                Wow, PA's laws are a whole lot more lenient than Fl's and other states. It sure seems like he would have to be registered somewhere as a sex offender. At any rate, gather up all of the evidence you can find, and have it ready when going to court. Usually criminal records are public record, check with the court clerk's office to see if you can have access to his file.

                Comment


                • #9
                  There is a site where you do not pay and can look up the criminal history. We use it at work to do nominal bonds and such. It's something about US Portal. I've been on it at home I'll look and see if I can find it. It is only things that go to the court system, not stop at magistrate level.

                  Comment

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