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  • give up parental rights Arizona

    im the father of a 7yr old girl who lives with her mother. We currently have a court order "consent decree" that explains our parental rights and court ordered child support. After 4 years of paying the child support on time the mother now wants more money. Unfortunately my daughter has not spnt enough time with me, i feel that she hasn't been raised to my ways. Its my fault that i didn't spend more time with her. Now im abt to marry and im considering that giving up my rights might be the best for the child to nt get caught in years of battle. Also my income has increased drastically than to what the court based the pymnts from, but yet barely enough to support my new family. I couldnt afford to pay much more as to what i would be forced to. She has asked me to give up my "parental rights" n would stop all child support. At the time of the consent decree i established paternity, is it possible to give up parental rights after they were already established?. thx.

  • #2
    Most of the time when a court would agree to a parent giving up thier rights, it is usually when the other parent (mom in this case), gets married, and the new husband wants to adopt. I don't know if the courts would want to let you give up your rights just so you have more money for the new family, and because in the past, you did not see the child as much as you should have. IF it is court ordered child support, I don't think that the mom can say no more would be collected if you did this, I think the courts would determine wether that would be in the best interest of the child, and then go from there. Is mom single? Does her husband want to adopt? Just so you know, the courts could care less about your new family when deciding what to deduct from your checks. I may be way off base here, but I get the feeling that you just want to sign over your rights so you won't have to pay a higher child support amount, and so you could live happily ever after, not considering that you dissapearing from your daughters life would have a more negative impact on her, than you could imagine. I am not a lawyer, but from what I have read, if mom is single, the courts would not terminate your rights just so you have to pay less, and mom gets to handle every financial detail of her daughters life without any help from anyone. Sorry! If mom remarries, and the new husband wants to adopt, that would make more sense for you or her to request this at that time.

    Comment


    • #3
      Timpact,
      This isn't what you want to hear, I'm sure, but it sounds like you're mad that your child isn't being raised the way you think she ought to be, in part because you admit you haven't spent much time with her and, even though you're now making a lot more money, you want to just write her off and terminate parental rights. How do you think that will make your daughter feel when she finds out?

      Generally speaking, there is no way for any parent to just terminate their rights. Certain legal requirements MUST be met first, which vary by state. I know of no state with any law that allows a parent to terminate their rights or those of the other parent just because they WANT to.

      In many states, termination is not allowed unless there is a step parent willing to adopt the child or the parent is a DANGER to the child. Just because the absent parent wants nothing to do with the child and even if the custodial parent agrees and WANTS no financial support for the child, it does not mean that termination will be allowed.

      The way the state sees it, everything may be just fine today and the custodial parent has no problem taking care of the child alone, does not mean it will always be so. If for some reason the child ever needed some type of government assistance (medicaid, food stamps, cash benefits), the state want to have someone that they can go after for the money the government is out. If a parents rights are terminated, that can't happen.

      You helped create this child, you need to be responsible and pay your support. You would probably feel better about the whole situation if you also worked out a more frequent visitation schedule, if that's allowed in whatever court documents apply to your situation. Think about your daughter. One day she may want to learn about "your ways" -- if you turn your back on her now, you may never get that opportunity.

      Comment


      • #4
        Simple answer: not gonna' happen.

        If you and the mother were married, you didn't like how the daughter was being raised, and decided one day that it was too expensive to support her...would you give her away? Essentially, that is what you are wanting to do. You cannot terminate your parental rights just to get out of paying child support. Even if Mom agrees, she must be married for at least one year and her husband must be willing and able to adopt the child AND the court must find that it is in the child's best interest to erase her "father" from her life. You know that you have a child to support before you create a new family and you have always had the right to take the mother back to court for more parenting time. Your responsibility to your CHILD comes before your love life. There is no judge that is going to give you a break on CS or allow you to terminate your parental rights just because you get married.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

        Comment


        • #5
          sorry i wasnt more specific n left details out. the mother wants me out so that her future husband can adopt her. This is not just to get out of paying xtra c/s, but her mother makes the situation extremely difficult. the mother is still bitter that our relationship didn't work n tries to make life difficult, yes the authorities can interfer with all this, but then this whole time my daughter is caught in the middle seeing all these problems. I only considered this because felt would b best for my daughter to not go thru all this. U guys answered my question n i thank u, i just wanted to get more info on this subject.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by timpact View Post
            sorry i wasnt more specific n left details out. the mother wants me out so that her future husband can adopt her. This is not just to get out of paying xtra c/s, but her mother makes the situation extremely difficult. the mother is still bitter that our relationship didn't work n tries to make life difficult, yes the authorities can interfer with all this, but then this whole time my daughter is caught in the middle seeing all these problems. I only considered this because felt would b best for my daughter to not go thru all this. U guys answered my question n i thank u, i just wanted to get more info on this subject.
            Sorry we were so judgemental not having all the facts. As you said, your questions were answered. Since she is remarried, SHE can ask the courts to let you sign over all rights to the child. When this happens, CS ceases to add up, but you must still pay any past due up to the date of the court date. Good luck to you!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by timpact View Post
              sorry i wasnt more specific n left details out. the mother wants me out so that her future husband can adopt her. This is not just to get out of paying xtra c/s, but her mother makes the situation extremely difficult. the mother is still bitter that our relationship didn't work n tries to make life difficult, yes the authorities can interfer with all this, but then this whole time my daughter is caught in the middle seeing all these problems. I only considered this because felt would b best for my daughter to not go thru all this. U guys answered my question n i thank u, i just wanted to get more info on this subject.
              Okay, legally, it might be an option in the future. If you owe arrearages on your CS, you will still be responsible for paying that amount.

              Now onto the non-legal part, and feel free to completely discount my point of view.

              Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking that you did not love her enough to fight for her? Are you comfortable with never having anything to do with your daughter again? I mean, NO contact, no right to know about her HS graduation, college, marriage, future grandchildren, etc. I know the hell of a custody battle (4 years). But I would do it again to ensure that my daughter was raised in the best possible environment with all of the advantages possible. There are ways to force the mother to allow a relationship with your daughter. Yes, it is time consuming and can be expensive. You just have to ask yourself...how much is your daughter worth to you?

              It's your decision and if you want to talk more about the NON legal aspect, feel free to private message me. Any legal info I (and others) will be happy to help on the public boards.
              Last edited by mommyof4; 10-04-2006, 05:11 PM.
              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
              (unique up on him)
              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
              (same way)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by cowpats35
                even if you owe money from the past they can't do jack to you if you don't pay it. I wouldn't do it just because it would show my daughter I didn't care. I know it's a tough decision I have contemplated giving up my rights too. I went to jail for 6 months for non payment and I would do it again I really don't care how much money I SUPPOSEDLY owe it ain't nothing but an invalid # to me.
                Are you delusional? You said that they "couldn't do jack". Yet, when YOU didn't pay, you went to jail. What makes you think that he can't go to jail, have a lein put on his house, lose his license, etc? Stop giving out incorrect advice. Your opinion isn't worth the time you took to type out your response.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cowpats35
                  even if you owe money from the past they can't do jack to you if you don't pay it. I wouldn't do it just because it would show my daughter I didn't care. I know it's a tough decision I have contemplated giving up my rights too. I went to jail for 6 months for non payment and I would do it again I really don't care how much money I SUPPOSEDLY owe it ain't nothing but an invalid # to me.
                  Please STOP posting totally inaccurate advice. If a court order exists to pay CS, and yes this includes arrears, and the NCP does not pay, there is a heck of a lot they can do:
                  suspend DL (without notice)
                  suspend passport (without notice)
                  liens on home, other property (with legal notice)
                  seize state, local and federal tax refunds (with legal notice)
                  seize bank accounts (WITHOUT ANY NOTICE)
                  JAIL

                  In almost all states these enforcement actions can be taken at any time as long as arrears are owed- including years past child(ren's) majority.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    They absolutely CAN put someone in jail for failing to make child support payments. Didn't you already say you spent 6 months in jail for not paying child support? In fact, they can keep them in jail INDEFINITELY (that means until they pay up - or the judge has a good day and decides to let them out).

                    If a man doesn't want children, then perhaps he should abstain from having sex with a woman whom he knows isn't using birth control, or he should learn to use a condom himself.

                    FYI it isn't always the woman who gets custody anyway, unless the father is a complete idiot and incapable of caring for a child

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by cowpats35
                      even if you owe money from the past they can't do jack to you if you don't pay it. I wouldn't do it just because it would show my daughter I didn't care. I know it's a tough decision I have contemplated giving up my rights too. I went to jail for 6 months for non payment and I would do it again I really don't care how much money I SUPPOSEDLY owe it ain't nothing but an invalid # to me.

                      I don't know what your definition of "can't do jack" is, but I would think that most people would include prison as "jack".

                      If you don't pay, go to jail for non payment and then go to prison again for nonpayment, I am thinking that Pattern Recognition isn't one of your big strengths.
                      Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                      I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                      Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        He's not going to be able to give up his rights until the ex is remarried and her current husband agrees to adopt the child. That could be years from now. If he owes back child support at the time the child is adopted (IF the child is ever adopted) he will STILL owe that money. His responsibility for the back child support doesn't automatically go away if his rights are terminated. He CAN be incarcerated for refusing to pay the back child support in the event that his rights are terminated and the child is adopted by a step-parent.

                        As for men who "go postal" over having to pay child support, YES - they belong in jail if the fact that they are supposed to be responsible for the child THEY helped bring into this world is enough to make them commit MURDER, yes they certainly do belong in jail. The point of putting deadbeats in jail is to motivate them to stay OUT of jail in the future, by complying with their child support orders. CS orders are just like any other court order... either you comply with the order or you go to jail. It's as simple as that. Don't like it? Don't have kids.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Last time I checked it takes a man AND a woman to create a child. If the man knows the woman isn't using birth control and he doesn't want any children, then the responsibility to prevent pregnancy from occurring is HIS. If the woman didn't want children she would either already be on birth control, or she would most likely have an abortion.

                          Same goes for a woman. If she doesn't want children, and she knows the man isn't using a condom then she needs to use some kind of birth control as well.

                          I never tried to put the responsibility solely on the man, but I resent your implying that women somehow influence how the child support system works and what the judge decides during a child support hearing and men are just innocent victims.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cowpats35
                            ok so I guess they can put a lien on a house you don't have? I guess they can suspend a liscence you don't have? I guess they can seize all the funds that don't exist and I guess they can lock up a guy who can't be found??There are plenty of guys out there who are in this category so yes In some cases They CANNOT do JACK!!
                            So you are saying that as long as the law doesn't find you and you never own anything with more value than a toothbrush, then you are a winner?

                            Wow, you make the life of a fugitive sound so marvelous.

                            I think a better term would be coward. A man takes care of his obligations, both emotionally and financially, to all children he sires.
                            Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                            I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                            Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Sounds like a terrific life of running from the law... can't hold a job because CS will find you, can't own a car or a home because CS will take them away, can't stay in the same place too long because they'll surely catch up with you...

                              All because you don't want to pony up and take care of your kids? Or maybe some people like living the life of a train-hopping hobo. Whatever.


                              It's men and women who try and beat the system that make the system as tough as it is.

                              Comment

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