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I need some advice please Illinois Kansas

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  • I need some advice please Illinois Kansas

    I will explain my situation and any advice offered will be appreciated. I'm not here to argue, just to seek advice.

    I have residential custody of my children. This summer they went with their father to visit him in North Carolina for the summer, I am in Kansas. Two of my three children decided they wanted to try living with their father and his girlfriend. The other child stayed because she didn't want to leave her sisters. I let them stay because I didn't want them to feel like they had to chose between their mother and father. They requested to stay and although I did not want them to, I let them becuase I put myself in their shoes and thought about why they would want this for themselves. I want to get my ex's child support stopped. I have no idea who to contact or what to do about this. I have been divorced since April, but have not had any dealings with child support becuase I haven't recieved any.

    Another developement in the drama came last night. My eldest daughter, who happens to be a twin, wants to come back home to stay with me. The other two do not. She called me in tears and asked me to come and get her. My ex told her that she wouldn't see her sisters again until she turned 18 and told me that the other children would hate me if I let her come home. The worst part is, he nor his girlfriend are working, and haven't since the end of June. He is threatening me with abandonment charges although I send him money whenever he asks and I have residential custody and let them stay with him, he does not have custody. I don't know what to do in this situation, I just want to do what's best for my kids and not do anything based on emotiono or on how bad I would love for them to be here with me.

    I guess my two big questions are how do I get his child support stopped and what are your opinions on the daughter that wants to come home, how do you think the other kids will view this, etc?

    I appreciate all of your advice

    Jenn

  • #2
    Originally posted by JennLMar
    I will explain my situation and any advice offered will be appreciated. I'm not here to argue, just to seek advice.

    I have residential custody of my children. This summer they went with their father to visit him in North Carolina for the summer, I am in Kansas. Two of my three children decided they wanted to try living with their father and his girlfriend. The other child stayed because she didn't want to leave her sisters. I let them stay because I didn't want them to feel like they had to chose between their mother and father. They requested to stay and although I did not want them to, I let them becuase I put myself in their shoes and thought about why they would want this for themselves. I want to get my ex's child support stopped. I have no idea who to contact or what to do about this. I have been divorced since April, but have not had any dealings with child support becuase I haven't recieved any.

    Another developement in the drama came last night. My eldest daughter, who happens to be a twin, wants to come back home to stay with me. The other two do not. She called me in tears and asked me to come and get her. My ex told her that she wouldn't see her sisters again until she turned 18 and told me that the other children would hate me if I let her come home. The worst part is, he nor his girlfriend are working, and haven't since the end of June. He is threatening me with abandonment charges although I send him money whenever he asks and I have residential custody and let them stay with him, he does not have custody. I don't know what to do in this situation, I just want to do what's best for my kids and not do anything based on emotiono or on how bad I would love for them to be here with me.

    I guess my two big questions are how do I get his child support stopped and what are your opinions on the daughter that wants to come home, how do you think the other kids will view this, etc?

    I appreciate all of your advice

    Jenn
    To stop the CS you'll need to contact the CSE agency, if they are involved in your case. If they aren't you'll need to file a motion with the court to stop the CS.

    As for the other question- only you know what is truly best for your kids, but if you do allow them to stay, you'll need to file for a modification of custody right away. This will change everything legally and he won't be able to threaten you with "abandonment" charge. I know it's a very tough decision to make, years ago I had to make a similar decision when my 9 yr old wanted to live with his Dad. I allowed him to go, we modified the custody and everything worked out okay, but I was fortunate. So, my suggestion is to go with what you truly believe is best for your kids. Good luck.

    Comment


    • #3
      Is what is best for your children to stay with a man who emotionally abuses his children and has to threaten them(if you leave you'll never see your sisters) and both He and his girlfriend do not have a job???
      Perhaps the children(or 2 of them) like the lack of structure and stability but one of your children does not want to be there...
      If your children get mad because you make them come home.... so what? You are the parent and they will get over it.
      Legally once the custody is modified, you would have to pay child support and would not be able to get your children if they wanted to come home...You would have to go to court and answer the question What has changed that this is no longer the best place for the children to be....IF your answer is my kids are not happy, the judge might just say tough! and make the children stay with the dad till they are 18.

      Comment

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