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Leaving Town But Without Child...

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  • Leaving Town But Without Child...

    Hey again... My husban'd ex left out of town on Friday morning. My husband has temp. custody of their child and it wasn't her weekend so that was ok of course. But....she emailed me last Wednesday complaining about her visitation schedule on Wednesday and that it wasn't in the best interest of her child to only come over to her house for 2 1/2 hours. The guidelines say that every Wednesday from after school to 8:30 pm. But being that the child's mom doesn't have a car she has to wait until her mother can get off work and pick the child up from our house. Therefore she only sees her for 2.5 hours. Ok now that I've summarized it for you, I have a question!

    She didn't even call and let us know that she was going out of town and wouldn't be back until next Saturday. So she will miss her Wednesday night visitation and maybe Friday. All that complaining and then she pulls this crap. Is she suppose to let my husband know if she is gonna miss her visitation and that she is going out of town. It's not that he cares about where she is going and with who, just that we would have never knew she wasn't going to get her child for visitation. Her family member mentioned it in conversation today. I spoke with the child's maternal grandma and she said "when me and my husband get off the cruise on Friday we will be by there to pick "the child" up for the weekend" My lawyer said that we should tell them that if the mom is not going to be there then we should tell them they can't pick her up until the mom is back in town. Should we go there by saying that or let them have her.

    See the problem we are having is, what happens if the mom doesn't get back in town for her weekend and then she tries to get her again when she gets back. It's like catch 22. My lawyer says that the visitation is for the mom not the grandparents. We do believe that the grand's should get to see her as well. So we are torn. What would you do if you were in this position? I know it sounds so petty but I promise things are far more complicated than they seem. We have wanted to be the nice guys and it always blows up in our face. My lawyer is trying to avoid letting her have her 40% of the time. She is going to try and pull that to make herself look good in court, so she can try and get her child back easier.
    Thanks!!! Any questions please let me know.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Michelle523
    Hey again... My husban'd ex left out of town on Friday morning. My husband has temp. custody of their child and it wasn't her weekend so that was ok of course. But....she emailed me last Wednesday complaining about her visitation schedule on Wednesday and that it wasn't in the best interest of her child to only come over to her house for 2 1/2 hours. The guidelines say that every Wednesday from after school to 8:30 pm. But being that the child's mom doesn't have a car she has to wait until her mother can get off work and pick the child up from our house. Therefore she only sees her for 2.5 hours. Ok now that I've summarized it for you, I have a question!

    She didn't even call and let us know that she was going out of town and wouldn't be back until next Saturday. So she will miss her Wednesday night visitation and maybe Friday. All that complaining and then she pulls this crap. Is she suppose to let my husband know if she is gonna miss her visitation and that she is going out of town. It's not that he cares about where she is going and with who, just that we would have never knew she wasn't going to get her child for visitation. Her family member mentioned it in conversation today. I spoke with the child's maternal grandma and she said "when me and my husband get off the cruise on Friday we will be by there to pick "the child" up for the weekend" My lawyer said that we should tell them that if the mom is not going to be there then we should tell them they can't pick her up until the mom is back in town. Should we go there by saying that or let them have her.

    See the problem we are having is, what happens if the mom doesn't get back in town for her weekend and then she tries to get her again when she gets back. It's like catch 22. My lawyer says that the visitation is for the mom not the grandparents. We do believe that the grand's should get to see her as well. So we are torn. What would you do if you were in this position? I know it sounds so petty but I promise things are far more complicated than they seem. We have wanted to be the nice guys and it always blows up in our face. My lawyer is trying to avoid letting her have her 40% of the time. She is going to try and pull that to make herself look good in court, so she can try and get her child back easier.
    Thanks!!! Any questions please let me know.
    If these visits could not come back on you in any legal way, I would allow the grandparents to see the child, but I would also let them know that you are not seeing the child because the mom isn't here, because legally we don't have to let you, we are doing this simply because we want you to be a part of the childs life. If your lawyer has a legal reason, that could hurt you in the long run, to tell you to not let them see the child, then I would listen to your attorney. I think I read on one of these posts, that the parent should give 24 hours notice, if they can not see the child, so if you had plans, you would have the chance to make other arrangements. I also read that if a parent continually misses, or is late getting the child, that you could go to court, and have visitation changed, but you have a lawyer to tell you exactly what is up with that, because I am not a lawyer. What is it that the mom is trying to pull to get 40% custody? Whatever it is, she is failing miserably by not showing up for the visitation that she does have. I would not know why a judge would say, "you can't seem to see your child when I have granted it, so I will let you have the child on a more permanent basis". I swear I am not being sarcastic, If it sounds like it sorry! I am siding with you! Oh, and why can't the mom bus it over to get the child? The city bus is very dependable.

    Comment


    • #3
      If you don't already have a contact log, you should start one. If she is not showing up for visits and is not bothering to call, you need to keep track of her not doing what she is suppose to.
      If you think it would be in the best intrest of the child to visit with the grandparents, perhaps you should "modify" the schedule when the mom is not going to be there. Give them a few hours but not an overnight visit. That way they are happy and you will have peace of mind that you are following the atty's advise. Since you are under no legal obligation to even let them have a visit perhaps they will except the compromise.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by stuckinamuck
        If you don't already have a contact log, you should start one. If she is not showing up for visits and is not bothering to call, you need to keep track of her not doing what she is suppose to.
        If you think it would be in the best intrest of the child to visit with the grandparents, perhaps you should "modify" the schedule when the mom is not going to be there. Give them a few hours but not an overnight visit. That way they are happy and you will have peace of mind that you are following the atty's advise. Since you are under no legal obligation to even let them have a visit perhaps they will except the compromise.
        Oh yeah i have kept a journal since the day we started getting her full time. She called yesterday to let us know she wasn't getting the child for the Wednesday visitation. Well lets just see if she is back in time for her Friday visitation or not. Thanks for your help!

        Comment

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