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visitation rights when boyfriend moves back to Texas Virginia

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  • visitation rights when boyfriend moves back to Texas Virginia

    xxx My boyfriend and I used to live in Texas. I left him with our daughter to come to move to Virginia with my parents in March when she was was almost 2 months old. The reason I left was because he was verbally and physically abusive when I was pregnant, and I knew it would be in my daughter's best interest to be in a more stable enviroment. ~ Well, after weeks of begging to come and join us, I finally gave in and he moved with us around the second week of April. Now that we both have a job and I started to attend school, he's talking about going back to Texas since he can't stand it here anymore. I was just wondering about his visitation rights, if he were to move back. I want to know how often he would have to see her. My job and school doesn't allow me to take many days off and take her to Texas to see her father whenever he pleases to see her. He says de doesn't want to go to court or deal with any lawyers, but it seems like thats going to be my only choice.

  • #2
    I would definitly suggest you go to court! Do NOT make any paper agreements, they are NO good, and will do you NO good in court. Sounds like the child is to young to be going back and forth in the first place. If he wanted to have a relationship with his child in the first place, he would stick it out and be with his child. I would even go to court if he does not go back. CoverYourAss on this, it can get real messy if you do not do something now. He sounds like he would like to play games. Just be careful and continue to do what is in the best interest of your child. Make sure you go to court and get a court order no matter what.

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    • #3
      Since the child was born in Texas, if you have not been in Virginia long enough to establish LEGAL residency (which I believe is 12 months), you could be in for some really big problems. At this time, any and all court actions would HAVE to be filed in Texas. If your boyfriend moves back to Texas, it would be VERY, VERY easy to petition the court for paternity and visitation and have the judge ORDER you to return the child to Texas until the matter is settled. If that happens, your chances of returning to Virginia WITH the child are slim to none.

      Where most states will commonly order that a child is not to be moved out of the state without permission from the other parent or the court, Texas regularly orders that a child cannot be moved out if the current county or a contingent county within the state.

      While I NORMALLY would advise any kind of out of court agreement, that may very well be your only option if you want to stay in Virginia.

      BTW - No matter what you decide, don't go into any court and try to argue that the child is too young to travel. It is a misconception that there is any set age that determines when a child is "old enough" to be with the other parent. The only exception is if the child is under 2 or so and has NO previous relationship with the parent requesting visitation. I have seen judges brutally dress down many mothers that try to use that as an excuse for not giving dad visitation away from mom's house or in another city or state, especially male judges. Another one not to use is "the child is just a BABY, he doesn't know how to take care of a baby, he's never done it before." NOBODY is born knowing how to take care of a baby and there is no longer the presumption that moms can do a better job than dads.

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      • #4
        www.familylawsoftware.com/splitgen/sp/xx/uniformcustodyact.htm

        One small detail...if any of the conditions listed are true, VA can have jurisdiction of the case. OP, you need to speak to an atty. Ceara is correct about visitation and the child's age. If the child is too young to fly alone, you and your ex will be responsible for traveling with her. One will fly with her one way, and the other will fly back with her. You can "exchange" her at the airport.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

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        • #5
          Before I planned to move, I told him more than a month in advance. I didn't just get up and leave without him knowing where I was going. Does that make a difference?
          ~ Another thing, what if I'm not comfortable leaving her with him for a couple of weeks at a time? He's did drugs while I was pregnant in Texas and I'm worried that if he were to move back, he would get into that all over again. I've recorded several conversations with him without him knowing. I got him to admit to doing drugs and verbally and physically abusing me while I was pregnant, and I also recorded our coversation when I told him I was leaving.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Martinez26
            Before I planned to move, I told him more than a month in advance. I didn't just get up and leave without him knowing where I was going. Does that make a difference?
            ~ Another thing, what if I'm not comfortable leaving her with him for a couple of weeks at a time? He's did drugs while I was pregnant in Texas and I'm worried that if he were to move back, he would get into that all over again. I've recorded several conversations with him without him knowing. I got him to admit to doing drugs and verbally and physically abusing me while I was pregnant, and I also recorded our coversation when I told him I was leaving.
            Yes and no. Even though you can PROVE that you notified him, you are still not a LEGAL resident in VA so Texas would still have jurisdiction. You may be allowed to stay in VA with the child, but all legal actions would be heard in Texas and Texas would retain jurisdiction as long as ONE parent lives there.

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            • #7
              Va Residency

              Originally posted by Martinez26 View Post
              xxx My boyfriend and I used to live in Texas. I left him with our daughter to come to move to Virginia with my parents in March when she was was almost 2 months old. The reason I left was because he was verbally and physically abusive when I was pregnant, and I knew it would be in my daughter's best interest to be in a more stable enviroment. ~ Well, after weeks of begging to come and join us, I finally gave in and he moved with us around the second week of April. Now that we both have a job and I started to attend school, he's talking about going back to Texas since he can't stand it here anymore. I was just wondering about his visitation rights, if he were to move back. I want to know how often he would have to see her. My job and school doesn't allow me to take many days off and take her to Texas to see her father whenever he pleases to see her. He says de doesn't want to go to court or deal with any lawyers, but it seems like thats going to be my only choice.


              You have to have lived in Va for 6 months to establish residency. I would definately have a court order drwan up even if you just suggest going to a mediator which the court pays for the first time to come to a custody/ visitation agreement and then a judge signs off on it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Leaving him with her

                Originally posted by Martinez26 View Post
                Before I planned to move, I told him more than a month in advance. I didn't just get up and leave without him knowing where I was going. Does that make a difference?
                ~ Another thing, what if I'm not comfortable leaving her with him for a couple of weeks at a time? He's did drugs while I was pregnant in Texas and I'm worried that if he were to move back, he would get into that all over again. I've recorded several conversations with him without him knowing. I got him to admit to doing drugs and verbally and physically abusing me while I was pregnant, and I also recorded our coversation when I told him I was leaving.
                Unfortunately Regardless of what he did while you your pregnant you choose to stay in that enviornment unless you can prove you were forced to stay(which is difficult) but then they would test him and possibly set up random drugs test for a period of time like a probation thing. The point is if you oplan on using something against him in court then you need to may a clean break. If you aren't comfortable leaving him alone with her then you set the standard now . Because when you go into court and say well I dont feel comfortable and this wyhy, they will say well he did that before and you left him with him anyway, what has changed. And they won't consider it a deciding factor in your case.

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                • #9
                  This thread is 2 years old. By now the situation has been resolved.
                  Don't hate me because I'm __________.

                  Comment

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