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Utah adoption, have Temp Custody as part of process....guardians now resisting.

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  • Utah adoption, have Temp Custody as part of process....guardians now resisting.

    I posted this under the Utah Family Law section, but thought I'd put it here, too.

    My daughter's great-grandparents (my cousins) were given guardianship due to her birth-mother's lack of....care. Suffice it to say there were very extenuating circumstances, and as part of the adoption process we have since had her parental rights terminated.

    The great-grandparents/guardians placed her with me for adoption...she came to me 2 weeks after their guardianship hearing/order. I petitioned for adoption, and began to wait the 6 month period. As part of the process, I also was granted an Order of Temporary Custody.

    So...the great-grandparents have guardianship (which would terminate upon the adoption being ordered), while I have custody (which would also dissipate upon the adoption being ordered as she'd then be my daughter).

    They are now resisting the adoption (will not sign the waiver of notice...I have not yet chosen to send the actual Notice of Adoption Proceedings due to it being such a heavy/ominous sounding document and must be actually served, and did not want to heighten the great-grandparents already tense emotions) due to demanding divorce-style visitation 2 weeks each year to be written in to the adoption decree. Legally this can't be done in Utah (judge would not sign an order including visitation). Also, they want her to return to visit them without me and won't consider her feelings on the matter (she's 7, and refuses to go...she's terrified they're going to "take her away again" as they've done this several times in the past when it was correct to take her away to put her in a better environment, but she doesn't correlate the difference between taking away from the bad place & taking away from a good...they just "take away" as far as she's concerned).

    She's been with me right at 6 months, and everything I read (books, adoption experts, adoptive families, etc) talk about how extended time away from the new family is not a good thing...and frankly, she even winds up being unmanageable for a week just when she visits with them during the day on a day trip. Total reaction to having seen them.

    Setting my emotions aside (the great-grandfather officially threatened to remove her from me last week due to me not giving them what they want...my atty says I have my custody order, so she's fine until the adoption is either finalized or vacated by the courts), I probably should just send the notice...ominous sounding be ****ed and get the clock started for that 30 day period. But emotionally, while my 1st priority is to do what is best for my daughter...I also hope that we can do this more kindly in order to preserve relationships. I'm not so sure that's an option anymore.

    Also...while I know I'm a good placement for my daughter...if the great-grandparents/guardians challenge it (which is what the 30 day notice allows for if necessary), that doesn't mean the courts won't lean toward the idea that the great-grandmother is her bio great-grandmother, while I am a distant cousin through marriage. Basically....I recognize there's a risk the court could lean familialy. It may be a small risk, but it exists.

    Anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share? I appreciate your time.

  • #2
    Duplicate post - please post your question only once. We don't want two threads going with the same question - thanks.

    Responders, please post replies under Utah Family Law - thanks.
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