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AZ Harassment and retaliation Arizona Arizona Arizona

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  • AZ Harassment and retaliation Arizona Arizona Arizona

    I had a very friendly relationship with my boss and a co worker, we would go out for drinks after work. He would take me to lunch and stores (work related) together. I was told its ok to be friends with your boss because its a small shop and the area where we live is a small community.

    We all use to (3 of us plus the boss) tease each other, bring up conversations that in a normal company would have been frowned on. At first I cringed but I was encouraged to go with the flow.

    We decided to get together at a local casino for an over night trip. Staying in the same room. I never thought twice about this as we were all friends and I felt totally safe and comfortable with these guys. At one point of the evening my boss woke me up out of a sound sleep stroking my hair and eventually asking for sex. I was still sleepy and but I said yes. But soon after it started I told him to stop. He did but asked again and I told him no. Our co worker was in the next bed.....

    When we got back to work a few days later I asked him about it and he apologized over and over saying how sorry he was and that he was so drunk and does not remember.

    Days and weeks go by and I would ask about it because I was confused as to what happened, he began to say 'it never happened'. I was so shocked I thought he was joking. At about 4 weeks I realized something was not right about this guy, well I always knew this but could not pin point it. My original thoughts about him changed, I realized he was not a good person.

    I brought it up a few times and each time he would say ' it never happened' and never would talk to me about it. He would run out of the room.

    Our relationship started to go down hill, he began to treat me poorly he would get mad at me and ask me if the toilets were clean, or tell me to clean the office, he broke agreements with me regarding cleaning the drivers lounge at first the guys had to rotate and then it became my job. He would tell me to get off the internet or my cell phone. I use to confront him about some things like me on my cell phone, I said why am I not allowed but Will is allowed? Will was his favorite. My other co worker Larry did not get along with the others and he would also get the wrath of Mike, the boss. The others were allowed to sit and do nothing but not me.

    Mike our boss would also grab himself 'all the time' in front of me. I would tell him to stop but he kept doing it. A few times I brought in a banana and he would write his name on it. He would bring up his x girlfriends or wives telling everyone there grooming habits. He allowed customers to sexually harass me and my co workers to physically and verbally abuse me.

    As time went on I could no longer hide my disgust with him, although I did get dragged into his drama a lot. I did not know what to do because if we had a problem he would say to me 'are we going to have a problem?'. So if I stopped talking to him it would be a problem. So I hid my feelings and I faked it, I still had his back. I was so lost and confused. I could not even think straight to figure out what he did to me, I could not put my finger on it.

    It all came to a head and I confronted him for the last time after dealing with this for 6 months, he again looked me in the eyes (which is something he never does) and in a mean voice said 'it never happened'. By this time I had had enough and I told him as he again ran out of the room ' I will never forgive you for this and I will never ever forget'. He stormed out. He came back in a while later and as he left I turned around and on his desk was a 'write up sheet'. I thought no way is he dumb enough..........

    Left that day thinking I gotta get out of here, find a new job.

    Next morning I get a call from HR (headquarters is 3 hours away) who explains to me Mike filed some kind of complaint against me (to this day I am not even sure what the complaint was because it changed over and over). He went over what Mike said. He had 3 text messages (joking around text nothing new for any of us) from 3 months ago that I sent to him, one was not very professional the other two were nothing to get written up for. I let HR talk then I said are you ready for the reason why he is doing this to me? Are you ready for the entire story. As I explained to HR all I heard was gasps from him and when I was done he said 'well this changes things'. I was so shocked my boss, my friend would do this to me I was shaking.

    Later I thought he is mad at me for not having sex with him AND he is mad at me for saying I will never ever forgive him, he is afraid of what I will do. I would never had said anything.

    I was told over and over by HR that his story did not match my story. He said he never slept with me, never in the same bed, never touched me. HR told me that because this happened before he believed me. YES it happened to the girl before me she too suddenly left complaining of harassment.

    I was put on admin leave, he was not. He was allowed to work with my co workers. As I can only imagine to get their stories straight.

    In the end they investigated his accusations (I was told they would look into my sexual harassment complaint against him - big mistake) we were both found to not have done anything wrong. They wanted me back to this office. I said how can I go back to this small office with these people who lied, threw me under the bus. Have this guy who is my boss still be in charge of me? The owner and HR in person told me to just do my job. I asked about my yearly rate increase and was told by HR I would not get one because of the text messages (I was already told by my boss that my raise was already on the owners desk waiting for approval) then the owner piped up and said no one is guaranteed a raise. I nervously said ok and the following Monday I returned to that toxic office. My boss acted like nothing happened, welcomed me back. The office was a pig sty and a total mess. I did my best to get all the invoices and bank deposit ready. My coworker who was in the next bed would come in the office and just stare at me. I just kept thinking I told them (owner and HR) I would try and I have but I can not work with this nut job.

    It was about lunch time, I said Mike, I think I am going to go to lunch now. He said ok go whenever you want. But I don't think I will be coming back. He staring at the wall in front of him (not at me) said why? I said I can not work with someone who molested me, lied about it, tried to get me fired. After each thing I said he would say 'ok'... I gathered my things and left.

    In anything I have said does it constitute SEXUAL HARASSMENT (grabbing himself), HARASSMENT (clean toilets), RETALIATION (for using old text message) or anything?

    I have been told that since I said yes to sex that one night, it shows that we had some kind of relationship. I have NEVER said anything about that as I did say yes. But I sure didn't want him to stroke my hair and wake me up.

    So basically they (their lawyers) are saying its ok that he treated me poorly, grabbed himself, wrote on a banana because I said yes to an outing that had nothing to do with work? That it was mutual. HR was no help, they never looked at my claims until the day I left. And I asked him to look at my claim the same day I was told about Mikes complaint. After I quit and HR asked me to call him, he told me they would pay me the rest of the pay period (2weeks) and another pay period. I said thank you so much, then he says but I ask that you sign something saying you will not sue. I said I am sorry but I can not (I had already started the process with EEOC and searching for a lawyer). I remember he said 'what?' I said no I can not do that.

    As I reflect back on this time I realize now that my boss Mike is a narcissus. I told HR that he has a gun which goes against policy. They wanted me to get a picture of it on the property. I said no way can I do that. Nothing I said mattered to this company because he 'makes them money'.....

    I have also gotten the EEOC letter to sue.

    Please help, should I even pursue this?

    Oh and the latest is he just got an order of protection against me, I did not fight it because I want NOTHING to do with this NARC nut job.
    Last edited by Lookingglass; 01-06-2018, 06:29 PM.

  • #2
    I reco you take your story to an attorney and see what he/she says. An initial consultation shouldn't cost you anything.

    Also, please stop using the bold feature, it makes you seem like you're screaming at us.


    • #3
      Make sure that your attorney specializes in sexual harassment law. Most do not.
      "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
      Philip K. **** (1928-1982)


      • #4
        If you have gotten your right to sue letter already you are on borrowed time. Once you receive the letter, you have 90 days to file suit or you are forever barred from doing so. Start calling attorneys NOW. If you do not have a case worth pursuing they will tell you. If everything you have posted is true (and I have no reason not to believe you) you do have a case worth pursuing IMO.

        Do not waste time.
        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.


        • #5
          What cbg said. It does sound like you have a case, but there is only so much we can determine in this format. You need to consult with an attorney who specializes in sexual harassment as soon as possible and can get the whole story as soon as possible.


          The forum is intended for informational use only and should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for legal advice. The information contained on are opinions and suggestions of members and is not a representation of the opinions of does not warrant or vouch for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any postings or the qualifications of any person responding. Please consult a legal expert or seek the services of an attorney in your area for more accuracy on your specific situation.