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Need help...In a sticky situation Kansas

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  • Need help...In a sticky situation Kansas

    I have a problem and need some help with it. I have worked at my place of employement for almost 6 years. I love my job. I am good at what I do. But there is a problem. My ex husband is now living with my manager and her husband.We all work for the same company. Our lives intertwine. This is causing me to have panic attacks when something personal happens off of company time that it is going to be transfered into work. He has been living there for about the last year and this is stressing me out. How do I ask for a new manager to oversee me at work. Even if he no longer lives there I still want a new manager. Also how do I ask for the new manager without getting fired? She has told people I work with that she is trying to find a reason to fire me for about the last year. But like I said I am good at what I do and she can not find it. But if I ask for a new manager I feel like I am giving her that reason. What should I do?

  • #2
    Your employer is not legally required to give you a new manager. In addition, your employer may legally fire you for asking for a new manager. Unfortunately, you have no legal recourse in this situation.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't know what your company's field of work is, but check to see if there is a Conflict of Interest policy. In some fields this is required.

      Is this a big company? Is there an HR dept? a Compliance/Integrity dept? Those would be the best people to appeal to.

      I would make a request to be assigned to a different supervisor, but do so in a professional manner, citing "possible or apparent conflicts of interest" that might reflect poorly on the company. I wouldn't make the requst based on panic attacks or interpersonal issues. Even if these reasons are valid, this will only discredit you and make you appear histrionic. I would also frame it in the context of "this request is also to protect the supervisor from any appearance or allegations of a conflict of interest."

      It's your best chance to get the transfer if you handle this in a professional and impersonal manner, citing how it is best for the company.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by TSCompliance View Post
        I don't know what your company's field of work is, but check to see if there is a Conflict of Interest policy. In some fields this is required.

        Is this a big company? Is there an HR dept? a Compliance/Integrity dept? Those would be the best people to appeal to.

        I would make a request to be assigned to a different supervisor, but do so in a professional manner, citing "possible or apparent conflicts of interest" that might reflect poorly on the company. I wouldn't make the requst based on panic attacks or interpersonal issues. Even if these reasons are valid, this will only discredit you and make you appear histrionic. I would also frame it in the context of "this request is also to protect the supervisor from any appearance or allegations of a conflict of interest."

        It's your best chance to get the transfer if you handle this in a professional and impersonal manner, citing how it is best for the company.

        Yes it is a very big company. I work at the branch level of the company and all I am looking for is a transfer of supervisor. But how do I ask for a transfer if her living w/ my ex is a problem and some of her actions as a manager that have nothing to do with her living with my ex. I guess my question is how do I use "possible or apparent conflicts of interest" that might reflect poorly on the company when uppermanagment is going to ask questions and want details to why?

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        • #5
          This may be none of my business, but have you considered talking with a mental health professional regarding your "panic attacks"? I understand having all three of you in the same place can be uncomfortable, but it's something you need to learn to deal with; you can't control what other people do, only how you react (or don't react) to it.
          I don't respond to Private Messages unless the moderator specifically refers you to me for that purpose. Thank you.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by thayes0101 View Post
            I guess my question is how do I use "possible or apparent conflicts of interest" that might reflect poorly on the company when uppermanagment is going to ask questions and want details to why?
            They should "automatically" see/realize there could be an apparent or possible
            conflict of interest that could reflect poorly on the co. and/or mgr. However, you
            have to make the request for a change of manager.
            Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

            Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

            Comment


            • #7
              You won't do well asking for a change of manager, but you could try to change jobs within the company. Have you checked with HR for other jobs you might qualify for?
              I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Alice Dodd View Post
                You won't do well asking for a change of manager, but you could try to change jobs within the company. Have you checked with HR for other jobs you might qualify for?
                I am a branch manager of the store. There are only so many locations, but they all already have managers. I don't want to switch locations. I have my customer base and they are one of the reasons I love my job. But I am scared of being fired for asking for a new manager.

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                • #9
                  You can then either risk asking for a new mgr. or accept things as they are.
                  Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

                  Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Here is the bottom line.

                    You do not have a legal right to be transferred to a new manager. There is no law you can invoke to force the company to give you a new manager. It is entirely up to your employer whether to do so, or not.

                    They *may* fire you for asking for a new manager. It is not illegal if they do. But it is not even close to a sure thing that they will.

                    There are four possibilities here:

                    1.) You ask, and they fire you.
                    2.) You ask, and they say no, but don't fire you.
                    3.) You ask, and they say yes.
                    4.) You don't ask.

                    How important is this to you? Is it important enough to risk a slight chance of losing your job? If not, leave it alone. If so, go for it. Your choice, completely.
                    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by thayes0101 View Post
                      Yes it is a very big company. I work at the branch level of the company and all I am looking for is a transfer of supervisor. But how do I ask for a transfer if her living w/ my ex is a problem and some of her actions as a manager that have nothing to do with her living with my ex. I guess my question is how do I use "possible or apparent conflicts of interest" that might reflect poorly on the company when uppermanagment is going to ask questions and want details to why?
                      The fact that your ex lives in her home is at the very least an apparent conflict of interest, and like Betty said, this should be obvious. That's the kind of detail to provide. Just don't get into all the little interpersonal conflicts when making your request. You'll have no hope of getting the transfer based on things you don't like about her that have nothing to do with your ex living with her. So sticking with the CoI issue is your best bet.

                      I agree with cbg's 4 possibilities. You therefore have a 50% chance of everything staying the same (option 2 plus option 4), a 25% chance of it getting better, and 25% chance of it getting worse. I'm just saying that if you pick option 1, 2, or 3, you'd best stick with the CoI and not get into other complaints about her.

                      Comment

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