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Some Friday humor on a Tuesday

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  • Some Friday humor on a Tuesday

    I needed my Friday humor early, and just got this in an e-newsletter. It appears to be from 1997, but since I was not on the internet then, it's like new to me!


    Excerpts from real resumes, cover letters, and job applications:

    http://humormatters.com/workresume.htm

    My favorite is: "Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping; I have never quit a job."


    Or maybe: "The company made me the scapegoat, just like my previous three employers"

  • #2
    Originally posted by TSCompliance View Post
    I needed my Friday humor early, and just got this in an e-newsletter. It appears to be from 1997, but since I was not on the internet then, it's like new to me!


    Excerpts from real resumes, cover letters, and job applications:

    http://humormatters.com/workresume.htm

    My favorite is: "Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping; I have never quit a job."


    Or maybe: "The company made me the scapegoat, just like my previous three employers"

    (I feel so ancient - I've been online since 1995!)

    That's hysterical!!!!

    My fave: "Reason for leaving my last job: They insisted that all employees get to
    work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under thos conditions."
    Last edited by Dogmatique; 05-04-2010, 01:27 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      LOL, TS. Betty3
      Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

      Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

      Comment


      • #4
        I like the last one best

        References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me

        At least it is honest

        Comment


        • #5
          Loved it.

          One of my personal favorites was an applicant whose most recent employer was the Pines Motel. Unfortunately, they transposed the "i" and the "e" in their haste when filling out the application form. (Wait a second; you'll get it. )

          Comment


          • #6
            My favorite application in my "file of fame" :

            under felony he wrote that he was convicted of distribution of narcotics but he never intended to sell, he just purchased for personal use in bulk.

            Didn't know the warehouyse stores sold drugs

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm sure that made him a MUCH more attractive candidate, Angel.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Beth3 View Post
                One of my personal favorites was an applicant whose most recent employer was the Pines Motel. Unfortunately, they transposed the "i" and the "e" in their haste when filling out the application form. (Wait a second; you'll get it. )
                Wonder if they had hourly rates?
                I don't respond to Private Messages unless the moderator specifically refers you to me for that purpose. Thank you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Many, many years ago, I had one guy tell me he was terminated because of a drug test at work that he swore was incorrect. Upon further discussion, he said the test said he was on downers which was totally wrong. He only took uppers....
                  I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
                  Thomas Jefferson

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                  • #10
                    "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

                    "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

                    "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
                    absolutely nothing."

                    "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."

                    "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."
                    Training for the current administration.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      GS, I'll bet he meant as indicated. But indicted appears much more logical, based on what else he said.
                      I don't respond to Private Messages unless the moderator specifically refers you to me for that purpose. Thank you.

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                      • #12
                        Before I opened it, I thought this post was about the 15 year old that wanted to move in with the 18 year old girls.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by GotSmart View Post
                          Before I opened it, I thought this post was about the 15 year old that wanted to move in with the 18 year old girls.

                          Coffee, meet keyboard. Again.

                          I will have my revenge

                          Comment


                          • #14

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