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Back Stabbers Maryland

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  • Back Stabbers Maryland

    I am wondering if anybody here can give me some good advices about this issue in the office.

    We have 10 managers here; I am the only female (Asian) manager here. Since I was here the first day, there was a female team leader and a male manager won’t stop back stabbing me. Everything I do and everything I say, they have to pick on me, they find fault in every single little thing I do, they make up lies and report to the president every move I make .(he is not in the office all the time). They also make up gossips around the company and trying to make me look bad all the time.

    I have to defend myself to the president almost every other day. 99% time, I did nothing wrong. But it just keep coming every single day. It is wearing me down.

    They have made a lot race comments about other employees, I never heard anything regarding me. So I am not going to make a case of discrimination even I feel it is.

    I have told my boss he needed to stop this. But nothing has changed.

    Fore example, I caught someone was chatting during the working time. She tried to tell me that she did not work because her computer was down. I told her that I did not care, even her pc down, she could still work on some other things, she should not sit in somebody else’s office with her feet up chatting.

    Then she turned around, and told my boss that I did not care about her pc was down and did not want to help her with her pc etc.

    I was on the phone when someone came in and try to sell me something, I told him to leave some information and I would call him back. I did not know he was from Immigration until I saw the paper after he left. Then someone told my boss I refused a visit from immigration department.

    Those things happened every day; it is way beyond office politics. I never had any problem with any other managers but this two. What should I do? Should I tell my boss I feel being picked and it is discrimination?

    I am so depressed .

  • #2
    Frankly, it soumds like it is time to move on. You can't make these two like you and it sounds as though it isn't just these two employees who you rub the wrong way.

    What type of racial comments are being made? What have you done as a manager of the company when you hear such comments?

    I might also suggest that you take a course or seminar in dealing with difficult people and situations effectively. Delivery is everything and the tone and the manner with which you address those around you can go a long way toward avoiding these kinds of issues. Perhaps placing the caller on hold and telling the visitor that you would be happy to meet with him as soon as you finish the call would have been a better move than telling him to drop whatever it was he had with him off for you to look at later. To be honest if one of my direct reports treated a visitor that way, I'd be speaking to them as well.

    Obviously the way you dealt with the employee whose computer was down rubbed her the wrong way. I'm not saying that you were wrong to break up the chat session and send her back to work on other tasks. I'm saying that the way you conveyed that message wasn't effective and the only result was a ticked off employee running to the President to report that you didn't care. Something was lost in translation.

    I don't know what type of rapport you have with this President, but you might consider scheduling a sit down one on one meeting to discuss these issues and how you can be pro-active in resolving them. Again being frank, this guy has got to be sick of hearing nothing but petty complaints about you all day long. If he gets the sense that you are not interested in decreasing them by insisting you did nothing wrong and staying on the defensive, he might just decide that you are the one that is the problem and the best way to solve it is to dismiss you. By taking a pro-active role and demonstrating that you are committed to reducing these incidents, it at least shows the President that maybe this can work out and he can stop being the playground monitor.
    I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.


    • #3
      Trust me , I have tried everything

      I have tried to be nice to them all the time, being professional, chat with them and buying ice-cream and luch for them when I can. They always say nice thing about me in front me, but every time I turn they stab me in the back.

      I am HR manager, every time I talk wtih a manager or employee, I have to close my door, then they told the president I close my door all the time and would not helping employees.

      They told a Korea girl, her kind food stinks, she was afraid to bring her food in. When I was hired; the manager told me not to tell this woman I was not American citizen; When we hired a Indian Engeer, she said he should take his broken English and Redilclous religion , go back to his county...

      I have reported to the president, but he did not care, he said those conversation came out from private conversation. it does not matter.

      In the mean time, those people does not do any work, when the president was not here, they were gossiping all day long. He knows that and he did nothing about it. I felt like I was the only one gets attacked all the time and has to defend myself all the time. it is wearing me down !

      Since he knew I was looking for another job, it is getting worse.


      • #4
        Talk to the president. It's impossible for us to know from what you've said if you do or do not have a legitimate discrimination claim, but even if you do, one of the first things the EEOC is going to ask you is, what internal remedies did you attempt? It cannot hurt and it can help any eventual action for you to give the president a chance to resolve it first.
        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.


        • #5
          Two comments over the time you have been there, or even before, which were not made to you and only one of which was really racial in nature isn't going to support a hostile environment.

          Have you tried speaking with the employee who complains directly? "Hi Jill, I understand that you were upset that I seemed unconcerned about the fact that your computer wasn't working. I assure you that is not the case. If you feel that I am not giving you the support you need, then I'd appreciate it if you would let me know so I can rectify the situation". Or something to that effect.
          I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.


          • #6
            Thank you

            thank you all fro the advices


            • #7
              You said you are looking for another job. That may end up being your best move.

              Are you saying in your one post your did talk to the Pres. but he did not care & it has gotten worse since he knows you are looking for other employment? You know better than us whether sitting down & talking to him again in a professional way might do any good.
              Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

              Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.


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