Family Ties

[Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer]

I have come to you for some help and advice about a child I have just
adopted. She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist family who
were too
weird to handle her after she bit a couple of the family members. She was
allowed to play in her room every day but only after being made to burn a
cross
shaped candle and drip hot wax onto her eye lids to prove to her parents
her
disbelief in God for about 6 months. Is it too late to save her - to show
her the truth
about God and to wein her from her daily bouts of pain she has come to
expect ?

I wanted a child and now i have one and before i have my tubes tied i want
to make sure
i can handel Sue like a normal child.

Ellen

[Arjen Klaver]

at news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to Anonymous via
the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer <nobody@cypherpunks.to> wrote in
news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to:

I have come to you for some help and advice about a child I have just adopted. She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist family who were too weird to handle her after she bit a couple of the family members. She was allowed to play in her room every day but only after being made to burn a cross shaped candle and drip hot wax onto her eye lids to prove to her parents her disbelief in God for about 6 months. Is it too late to save her - to show her the truth about God and to wein her from her daily bouts of pain she has come to expect ?

Fellow atheists, who the heck has been raising this child? Every atheist
should know that the eyelids should be open to let the wax drip in the
eyes to make her close her eyes for G*d. I'll call the EAC parenting
program to report this behavour, not that the EAC exists of course.

Greetings,

Arjen Klaver

[Robert Schneider]

"Arjen Klaver" <chips@stack.nl> wrote in message
news:Xns93F7D1CA2FFCchipsstacknl@212.64.53.131...

at news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer <nobody@cypherpunks.to> wrote in news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to:

Fellow atheists, who the heck has been raising this child? Every atheist should know that the eyelids should be open to let the wax drip in the eyes to make her close her eyes for G*d. I'll call the EAC parenting program to report this behavour, not that the EAC exists of course.

That's what they want you to think!

Greetings, Arjen Klaver

[Rosine]

"Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer"
<nobody@cypherpunks.to> wrote

I have come to you for some help and advice about a child I have just adopted. She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist family who were too weird to handle her after she bit a couple of the family members. She was allowed to play in her room every day but only after being made to burn a cross shaped candle and drip hot wax onto her eye lids to prove to her parents her disbelief in God for about 6 months. Is it too late to save her - to show her the truth about God and to wein her from her daily bouts of pain she has come to expect ? I wanted a child and now i have one and before i have my tubes tied i want to make sure i can handel Sue like a normal child. Ellen

Congratulations on gaining a child so far advanced beyond the norm to be
incredible. 19 months old and co-ordinated enough to close her eyes and pour
hot wax from a burning candle she's holding directly onto her eyelids
(suppressing pain reaction, to boot) in a recognisable pattern and having
done so since, what, at age 11 months (granting a quick one month turn
around after the parents were arrested).
Wow. You've got a genius. Give her back to the agency so they can place
her with a family comprised of members of Mensa. They would be much better
able to handle such a prodigy.

Or, better yet, do your homework before creating such stupid messages. I
suggest maybe starting with a variation of the Nigerian bank scam or
something more believable the next time you want to annoy a bunch of
strangers..

<tsk>

Terri
--
Cat Resolution: I will not stick my paw into any container to see if
there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my
human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

[Parse Tree]

"Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer" <nobody@cypherpunks.to>
wrote in message news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to...

I have come to you for some help and advice about a child I have just adopted. She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist

family who

were too weird to handle her after she bit a couple of the family members. She

was

allowed to play in her room every day but only after being made to

burn a

cross shaped candle and drip hot wax onto her eye lids to prove to her

parents

her disbelief in God for about 6 months. Is it too late to save her - to

show

her the truth about God and to wein her from her daily bouts of pain she has come to expect ? I wanted a child and now i have one and before i have my tubes tied i

want

to make sure i can handel Sue like a normal child.

Oops! I just noticed that I posted this to the wrong groups. Sorry
all!

[RB]

Solution:


Let melted cross wax drip into your own eyes and the toddler may no longer
want to do it. Kids are naturally rebels.

If that doesn't work, it may indeed be to late for her and she may require
re-initialization. In that case you should look along her spine near the 7th
vertebrae for a small pentagon shaped button. Press it and wait 6 seconds.
While she is slumped over, quickly go through your house and hide all the
candles - but remember you only have 6 seconds. When she awakens make sure
to not allow her within 100ft of any atheist for at least 2-3 months.

I truly hope this helps.

-Ray



"Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer" <nobody@cypherpunks.to> wrote
in message news:fb6462802e0a2656fc794214eed03172@cypherpunks. to...

I have come to you for some help and advice about a child I have just adopted. She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist family

who

were too weird to handle her after she bit a couple of the family members. She was allowed to play in her room every day but only after being made to burn a cross shaped candle and drip hot wax onto her eye lids to prove to her parents her disbelief in God for about 6 months. Is it too late to save her - to show her the truth about God and to wein her from her daily bouts of pain she has come to expect ? I wanted a child and now i have one and before i have my tubes tied i want to make sure i can handel Sue like a normal child. Ellen

[John Popelish]

Anonymous via the Cypherpunks Tonga Remailer wrote:
(snip)

I wanted a child and now i have one and before i have my tubes tied i want to make sure i can handel Sue like a normal child.

There is no way on Earth that you could ever treat anyone like a
normal child.

--
John Popelish

[Al Klein]

On Mon, 15 Sep 2003 23:15:51 GMT, "Parse Tree"
<account@domain.extension> posted in alt.atheism:

Oops! I just noticed that I posted this to the wrong groups.

Yes, existing ones.
--
"If anyone comes to me, and does not hate his father, mother, wife, brothers, and sisters and even himself, he cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at optonline dot net

[Mekkala]

On 15 Sep 2003, "RB" <raybuffer@socal.rr.com> screwed up his face,
groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
newsTr9b.60186$gt1.1729745@twister.socal.rr.com:

Solution: Let melted cross wax drip into your own eyes and the toddler may no longer want to do it. Kids are naturally rebels. If that doesn't work, it may indeed be to late for her and she may require re-initialization. In that case you should look along her spine near the 7th vertebrae for a small pentagon shaped button. Press it and wait 6 seconds. While she is slumped over, quickly go through your house and hide all the candles - but remember you only have 6 seconds. When she awakens make sure to not allow her within 100ft of any atheist for at least 2-3 months.

<curious>
What's that do?
</curious>

--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly
realized I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.

[RB]

> > Let melted cross wax drip into your own eyes and the toddler may no

longer want to do it. Kids are naturally rebels. If that doesn't work, it may indeed be to late for her and she may require re-initialization. In that case you should look along her spine near the 7th vertebrae for a small pentagon shaped button. Press it and wait 6 seconds. While she is slumped over, quickly go through your house and hide all the candles - but remember you only have 6 seconds. When she awakens make sure to not allow her within 100ft of any atheist for at least 2-3 months. <curious> What's that do? </curious>

"She is about 19 months old and has been with a atheist family who were too
weird to handle..."
....from Cypherpunks Original Post

The answer is: it prevents the child from becoming too weird to handle.
One sign of this wierdness is a predisposition to quoting Peter O'Toole.


-Ray