Abusive behavior

[digriz60]

I have been working for a family business for almost four years as an IT analyst. About six months into the position I was teamed with a manager who became decidedly unfriendly and agressive toward me as soon as the project initiated. She is one of two senior managers, both having long term friendships with the owners of the company. I report to one owner, the wife. I am one of only two Jewish white men to work in the corporate office, which is comprised of 30% black women, including the wife and manager I am having the problem with. I am only stating this for a better idea of demographic breakdown. Nobody has ever expressly said anything racist or sexist to me, but I'm offering it for your consideration. I have complained verbally to the owner numerous times over the years, and no action has been taken. There are a million stories, but the only notable one that would interest the readers here is a bad interaction I had with her in front of two vendors. She yelled at me in front of them, so I responded back firmly and with resolve. I did not yell, but used a defensive tone of voice. She filed an informal charge of harassment, not with HR but with the owner, and we had a verbal meeting where the owner told us to work it out. I have poor interactions with the other manager. He has lied about my involvement in some projects, because the owner informed me he lied to her and she caught him...telling me, but taking no disciplinary action against him.

I have been trying to leave the entire time, but jobs at the same pay level have been few and far between. An obvious answer to the above would be to pick up and move on, since all the managers are friends and connected with the owners. The HR manager recently quit a month ago, leaving no neutral, objective department I can report my grievance to. The owner is now the HR manager. The other HR personel report to the owner, and it is the owner I am afraid of, and her relationship with the people I am complaining about. I have documented many if the interactions but I am not sure if there is a legal precept for what I am experiencing. Does being yelled at, insinuations of incompetancy, humiliating comments to staff members, ad hominum attacks or general pervasive aggression constitute harassment or hostile work environment? I dread going to work each day, and have made leaving a top priority. In the meantime, I am continuously subjected to this sort of behavior. Recently, I found out they were reading my emails, which is legal, but that has exacerbated the problem to the point where I am afraid I will be terminated for trying to protect myself.

Is this an EEOC situation or should I let it go and just try to get out?

[LConnell]

It is only illegal if the reason for the hostility, etc., against you is because of reasons such as age, race, religion, gender, disability, national origin, sexual orientation, etc. However, that doesn't sound to be the case with you. It is a personality dispute - which is covered by employment law.

My suggestion to you is to find a position that is more appreciative of your skills.

[digriz60]

What if you cannot establish the cause of the hostility? Obviously, nobody will outright say they dislike you for racial or sexually based reasons. Any smart manager who is openly aggressive to an employee would say their behavior was based on job performance, personality, attitude. Nobody will document verbally or in writing they dislike an employee based on arbitrary racial, sexual, marital or religious reasons. Example, if I really disliked someone on the basis of the forbidden reasons, I would just attibute it to something else. I agree with your answer, but that means if I really disliked someone because of their race, I could mistreat them, and if questioned, I could give any reaon but the 'forbidden ones' and be absolved of my transgressions.

[digriz60]

I browbeat a woman who is subservient to me on a daily basis because I dislike her: I hate her nose piercing, not because she is a woman. Is that acceptable?

[Beth3]

It's legal (if that's what you mean) since personal dislike and nose piercings aren't protected categories but browbeating ANYBODY for any reason isn't acceptible.

[digriz60]

I guess my continued confusion on this matter stems from the source of the hostility. I suppose my detriment in this case is that I am a white male. The courts seem to be replete with cases brought by ethnic minorites who claim they are discriminated against, or wrongfully terminated based solely on their race. However, most people (who hold racist attitudes) aren't blatent with their racism. A member of a minority could post the very same scenario on here and people could lend it credence, even though the person claimed there was no verifiable proof of hostility based on racial motivation, but they will make the claim anyway. I suppose its stupid for me to ask if there is a prima facie acceptance of racial discrimination if the person leveling the charge is a minority, even though they can't directly attribute a single racist act as cause for their predicament.

I'm not fishing to justify my position, but let's reverse the situation. I've noted I'm one of only two Jewish white males in a Black owned company where the manager in question and 30%-35% of the personnel are black women. The owner did once comment to me she did not want to hire the other Jew because in his interview he said he wanted Jewish holidays off. They ultimately hired him, and to my knowledge treat him well. There was also a time I was hiring a subordinate, and she told me to cut the interview short, later saying the person was too fat to hire. The owner has also made disparaging remarks about Mexicans. While none of these pertains directly to me, it reveals her general attitude about others, and Jews with respect to our holidays.

Naturally, I understand what you and Lconnell have helpfully told me above, in terms of hostility based on anything but the Forbidden ones is legal, however unacceptable.

[Beth3]

The courts seem to be replete with cases brought by ethnic minorites who claim they are discriminated against, or wrongfully terminated based solely on their race. True but historically, that has indeed been the case. The "power base" in this country still is largely white males (not that I have anything against white males) and women, blacks, hispanics, etc. have been the disadvantaged ones, shut out from opportunities because of their race, gender, or national origin.

But discrimination laws make it clear that adverse employment action based on race or gender (ANY race or gender) along with any other protected characteristics is unlawful. It still less likely that a white male will be discriminated against because of his race and gender but it does happen.

The owner in question does appear to have some biases (and says some incredibly stupid stuff.) The question is whether she acts on them. It's not against the law to be a biggot or a racist. It IS against the law to take action on those opinions.

Obviously if you're not being treated well for any reason, you should continue to look for a new job. You may also want to talk to an employment law attorney just to examine your situation and see if you have a viable discrimination complaint should you decide to pursue it.

[digriz60]

I appreciate your responses, thank you.