Is this harassment?

[bartink]

I broke up with my gf. She is on the payroll of a company that I do contract work for. I am required to come into the building for meetings, to get paychecks, fill out time sheets, etc.

The breakup went badly and we were still untangling from each others lives, making arrangements to get each others stuff, and that kind of stuff. She was complaining that I was contacting her too frequently, but I just wanted us to get our stuff back, get my apartment keys, etc. I told her once that was taken care of, I would not contact her if thats what she wished.

I noticed that people started looking at me funny and acting weird around me. I asked her if she was spreading rumors about me and she said she wasn't. Well, come to find out she was running and acting scared of me when I would get there, hiding in people's offices, and telling people that I was stalking her. Other than my sometimes angry emails and phonecalls, I wasn't doing anything stalker-like. I didn't seek her out when I went to our work. I just went in, did my business and left. I didn't try and seek her out outside of work either and I made no threats. Also, I asked her if she was talking about me and she assured me that she was not. She was keeping it to herself, she said.

Here is my question. Is it harassment for her to tell people that I am stalking her and acting like a drama queen? How do I get her to stop if it continues? This worries me, since stalking is rightly a serious charge. But I don't think that angry emails and phone calls rise to that level, especially when you take the phone calls, don't block and respond to the emails. So is this harassment? Thx.

-Tarnished Reputation

[LConnell]

Yes, it could be seen as sexual harassment. However, I would suggest that you do the following: Go to the HR Department and let them know that you are worried about this. Make sure that they know that you are asking for help. Put your request for help in writing.

[bartink]

She actually just initiated a instant messenger chat from her office pc in which she basically admits what I stated above. Should I include this in my letter to HR with a request that they attain all the logs from messenger? The chat is literally a point by point verification of what I posted above. I also suspect that, since she uses messenger to chat with her coworkers, there is other evidence of harassment in other logs as well. Should I ask for those to be retained? Do they have to get them if I request it? She could delete them if she thinks something is up. Again, she initiated the chat this morning, I just brought up the other stuff.

Thank you.

[LConnell]

How did you learn of this information? Give that to the HR Department.

[bartink]

I was told by a friend of mine that she was telling people that stuff and told him that she thought I was trying to kill her. I asked a few other people if she was saying stuff like this and every single one I talked to, except her boss, said that she was saying stuff consistent with that. I will present it to HR, I guess.

[LConnell]

I would do this right away, affirmatively and directly. You don't want this to begin a topic of gossip...and you don't want to look like you are causing problems by talking aobut her, etc. This will only cause you many problems. You should appear as professional and as unemotional as possible. If you delay, it could look like you are only retaliating against her, especially if she goes to someone first OR if they believe that she has been asking for help from coworkers. Go to HR right away...don't delay!

[bartink]

Thank you. I appreciate your help.