Drug Arrest Custody-Iowa

[secondmom]

My fiance has a son who is almost four with another woman. He has not seen this child since he was a year old, but has been paying child support and is on the birth certificate. We got a letter in the mail saying that the child's mother and new husband are in jail for drugs and child neglect. The kids are in the custody of the state. We are to appear at a hearing in July.
I am wondering, does my fiance have the rights to custody over the maternal grandmother? Also, the temporary custody hearing is in Iowa and we live in Nebraska. Do we file for permanent custody in Iowa or Nebraska? What are our chances of getting the little guy?

[elklaw]

He can nominate the grandmother to be the legal guardian if he does not want to take custody with the court at the hearing, but I suggest that he take custody of the child, then go back to court where the grandmother lives and then have her file papers to become the child's legal guardian, or in some states he can execute a power of attorney to allow the grandmother to care for the child and make certain decisions for the child on his behalf. This is a strategy where the father and grandmother work together, so he can retain some involvement and decision-making role.

To answer your question, he has a good chance at getting custody over the grandmother if he can show that he is stable, can provide a stable home for the child, and is willing to accept the responsibilities of a full-time father. It also would help if you were married and you were a wife, not just a fiance. The grandmother has a good chance too if she is a stable party who can provide a stable home for the child. It is a close call if you are a judge between an uninvolved father (I mean uninvolved in terms of seeing and knowing the child and not in terms of paying support) because the preference is for the parent to have custody, but if a grandparent is more stable and a child coming from a situation like this will need a lot of stability and may have serious emotional issues and a grandmother who is older and more mature may be better able to handle a child like this over newlyweds or an engaged father who has had no active physical role in the child's life. It is all about the best interest of the child. In this case, I think both parties have a 50-50 chance. But I think him being married and having a proper home would improve his chances at custody. There is a difference between a promise to make a commitment, being engaged, and making the commitment, marriage.

[secondmom]

Thank you so much for the information, but we really don't want to appoint the grandmother the legal guardian. We think that she is a good grandmother, but her living environment is not exactly what we would call "perfect." In this case, we want full custody or joint custody with the grandmother. Should we file this in NE since that is where we live (she's in IA).

Thanks so much!

[elklaw]

In this case, it makes sense to file where the child is at physically speaking. Where you live is a possible venue, but the child is under another state's jurisdiction now, so it is the preferred place to file.