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Thread: IAm a minor dating an 18 year old

  1. #1
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    Default IAm a minor dating an 18 year old

    My friend told me about this site and i hope i can get some help from it.
    I need help on this, only, my boyfriend is 18, and iam 15. My mom's grounded me from going anywhere and she said she WILL take him to court. The thing is, its not illegal unless he forces me to do something, or touches me in certain spot. I dont know what to do, and after her saying it was just wrong, and makes him a creep, iam thinking iam weird.I dont know what to do, i really love this man. Opinions? Advice?
    Its all greatly appreciated
    **Bailey**

  2. #2
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    Your boyfriend could be arrested for statutory rape if he and you engaged in certain sex acts, so that is the case. You are in love, but if it lasts until you are age 18, then you can decide to go further without your boyfriend facing criminal liability.

  3. #3
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    Smile I kinda know what you mean

    xxxxxx Well I am 16 and I was dating a guy who is 17, but he will be turning 18 two days before I turn 17, which would mean I was a minor dating an 18 year old. I think your mom might be more concerned with the age difference and just the fact that he is older so he probably knows more about sex. She possibly assumes that as an 18 year old, he is going to be more interested in that and would take advantage of you. In her mind, you are a 15 year old girl who would be struggling with an 18 year old boy if he ever tried to force sex on you. Don't fight back, but show her that you understand her concern but that he is nothing like that. If you don't act all childish about it, it might help show her that you are responsible and very capable of making good decisions on you own w/o putting yourself into danger. My mom didn't mind that I dated someone who would end up 18 a year before I would, because she trusted me to do what was right when it came to us being together at times. That doesn't really matter now that him and I aren't dating, but it was nice to know that even if she didn't know him all that well she at least had faith in me to take care of myself and say no. Try convincing your mom in a casual way that you can do the same. Hope this helps you out.

  4. #4
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    Angry im a minor dating an 18 yr old

    please help me asap im 14 yrs old august 2 i turn 15 but im dating an18 yr old and when my mom gets mad she says she goning too press stagatory rape on him and we've already had sex but she said we could but know is deinieng it what do i do im in love and im very scared

  5. #5
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    Default Im 16 Dating A 23 Year Old Man

    I am in DHS custody and my boyfriend is 23 I just turned 16 and Im pregnant. Someone can you tell me is it against the law cause im at consinsul sex age. And i love this man and I dont want him in trouble.some one please help me. so really i know how you guys feel.

  6. #6
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    Default i need some advice

    okay here is my problem. i'm 16 and i like an 18 year old. we both want to get together, but i've been talking to my guardian and everyone else i live with and they are all like, "That's illegal!" to be dating him. Frankly, that doesn't even sound true to me. If it was illegal I would have heard about it. I do know that its illegal to have sex with him and that is considering statutory rape. But for right now, we just want to hang out and they're all saying that "Yea, that's not all he wants." I know him and granted I figure he doesnt want to have sex yet and I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to go to jail. I've been trying to look up the Virginia state laws about that sort of stuff, but I cant seem to find what i'm looking for. If someone can help me out, I'd appreciate it.

    **Lissa**

  7. #7

    Default Statutory Rape

    It is the age difference that makes it statutory rape. It is considered wrong for men or women (18 or older) to have sex with children more than 3 years younger than themselves.

    If he really loves you, he can wait.

    If you really love him, you don't want him convicted of a sex crime, and have to be a registered sex offender the rest of his life.

    Now, here's a thought: at what age can you get married without parental consent in Utah? It ain't rape if you're married.....

    Sharon

  8. #8

    Default Follow your heart!!!!!!!!!

    If you love him then continue to date him. Dont let your parents stand in the way. I'm 15 (almost 16) and my bf is 18. In COLO. that's illegal but we did what we did anyway. My mother read my diary and found out EVERYTHING. Now she's threatening to throw him in jail if i ever contact him again. But yet my love for him is stronger than that. My suggestion is to keep it on the low freom the parents until the time is right. But just know SOMEBODY stands behind you in your decicion to stay with him. Email me and tell me how it goes. alwayslaughin44@rock.com

  9. #9
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    Default I just need info

    this isn't your answer Im sorry...I'm 18 have been for 2 months I've been wanting to go out with this girl that is 15 turning 16 in 8 days, I know that I can't have sexual activities with her, but I don't care if I don't even kiss her she's that great. any ways we are bolth in high school there is a 2yr 2month 2 day age difference between us. I wouldn't mind kissing her on the other hand, is it leagal if I can? I'm just wondering what the law in utah is about this...hopefully someone does. BBJ_BLADE@hotmail.com
    Last edited by Yahn Orbaki; 12-11-2005 at 09:39 AM.

  10. #10
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    Default I am 16 and i want to go out with an 18 year old...

    There is this guy that i work with and he is 18. We have gone out on soem dates then one day he's just like he can't go out with me because i am too young... He is a year and some...all i know is that when he turns 19 one month later i will be 17...Can i date him and have sex with him or is it illegal even though i am 16. Someone please tell me because i really like this guy and i don't want to let a little thing like a year and a month get in the way of things. oh yeah i live in Washington State
    Last edited by LadyT007; 12-11-2005 at 07:53 PM.

  11. #11

    Exclamation thesamething

    hey, yeah....i was dating a 19 y/o who was almost 20. i am 14, and i was at the time. I thought i really loved him. i spent all my free time with him, and i even lost friends over him. But i lost more than friends, i lost my family life to. I was living with my grandmother when him and i started dating, well she found out, and my choice was to choose him over her. so i moved out of her house and into his apartment with him and his cousin who was also 19. When DHS found out, they jumped right on it, and i was immediatly put into a foster home, because him and i were sharing the same bed( no nothing sexual was going on ). I was put into a foster home, in a whole new town. I am still there, and now i am stuck there until i am 18. I continued to date this guy for a month after i moved out of his apartment. i thought that i was in love, and i realized that i was really gonna screw up my life if i didnt stop lying and telling people stuff just so that i could see him. because now i know that if he loved me, he would have waited for me. So really what i am trying to say, is dont give up what you have for something you think you want, because most of the time, especially in the end, you will realize, what/ or who you thought they were before, is actaully nothing real. That they are not real. Dont give up a good life, for a short love.

    ** Alicia **

  12. #12

    Red face Thanx

    Thanx a million for the advice.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by BT2008
    My friend told me about this site and i hope i can get some help from it.
    I need help on this, only, my boyfriend is 18, and iam 15. My mom's grounded me from going anywhere and she said she WILL take him to court. The thing is, its not illegal unless he forces me to do something, or touches me in certain spot. I dont know what to do, and after her saying it was just wrong, and makes him a creep, iam thinking iam weird.I dont know what to do, i really love this man. Opinions? Advice?
    Its all greatly appreciated



    i'm 15 too. and my boyfriends 18. My mom doesnt like him much. SHe has said something about how he COULD go to jail if anything happened.i dont think she would. but isnt it as long as he doesnt like FORCE anything then its allright? meh. i dk. i dont think that law is right. i disagree with it.

  14. #14
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    Here's a blanket answer for everybody. If you are a MINOR dating an ADULT or an ADULT dating a MINOR, the adult can end up in deep trouble. The minor's parent can file for statutory rape and they don't need alot of evidence to do so. If you have had sex, of course you'll deny it. If you didn't, you'll be telling the truth, but you probably won't be believed based on the fact that the ones that are having sex LIE. The adult will probably be convicted of some type of sex crime. That person will have to spend THE REST OF HIS/HER LIFE as a registered sex offender. The law makes no distinction between a statutory charge an raping a 6-year old boy when it comes to being registered. Every job you apply for, you will have to disclose it. Everytime you move, not only will you have to register your new address, your neighbors will likely be notified that a sex offender is living in the neighborhood. It will give your name, picture and address. You will not be allowed around children. If you want to work in a field that involves children in any way, you can toss that plan out the window. You will not be allowed around schools and playgrounds. How are you going to like it when you get older and have kids of your own and you take them to the park and someone reports that there is a sex offender hanging around the park and the police show up? Remember, the people in the neighborhood park know who you are and what you look like because they were notified when you moved to the neighborhood.

    Now, ask yourself, is all of this worth it just to have a few minutes of sexual gratification?

  15. #15
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    Default i'm dating a minor

    hello
    I just turn 21 and i live in Connecticut. My girlfriend is 15 and a half and she lives in new jersey. IN two months of months of dating I decided to go see her and we got cut. And the cops told me to stay away from her and if i didnt i was gonna get charged by her mom. We both kind of knowing the consecuence we decided to still be with each other. I'm in love and i don't know what to do.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by latinboy068
    hello
    I just turn 21 and i live in Connecticut. My girlfriend is 15 and a half and she lives in new jersey. IN two months of months of dating I decided to go see her and we got cut. And the cops told me to stay away from her and if i didnt i was gonna get charged by her mom. We both kind of knowing the consecuence we decided to still be with each other. I'm in love and i don't know what to do.
    The answeris right there in your question. STAY AWAY OR GET ARRESTED.

  17. #17
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    Question I need help.....

    I am 16 and my boyfriend is 18 and will soon turn 19 next month....my mom said that she will but him in jail if we don't stop having sex.........my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and we want to spend our lives together..........my mom wants to break us up....by putting him in jail..... can she really do that or is she just saying that so i will break up with him?.........I thought that as long as i was 16 it was legal..... What do you think?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kisses
    I am 16 and my boyfriend is 18 and will soon turn 19 next month....my mom said that she will but him in jail if we don't stop having sex.........my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and we want to spend our lives together..........my mom wants to break us up....by putting him in jail..... can she really do that or is she just saying that so i will break up with him?.........I thought that as long as i was 16 it was legal..... What do you think?
    It depends on what state you are in. Even if 16 is the age of consent, your mom can still get a restraining order against him to keep him away from you. If you want to spend your lives together, 2 years is not that long to wait.

  19. #19
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    Question I need help.......

    Well, I am in the state of Ohio....... and we really don't want to have to wait until two years to be together........ So can my mom really do anything about our relationship?...............

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by kisses
    Well, I am in the state of Ohio....... and we really don't want to have to wait until two years to be together........ So can my mom really do anything about our relationship?...............
    If your mom does not want you two dating, you are going to be better off in the long run if you obey mom wishes. She can always get a restraining order against him to keep him away. If he violates it, there is a possibility he could end up in jail, especially if he repeatedly violates the order.

  21. #21
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    Question Help........

    So the only thing that she can really do is get a restraining order against him?.....I really don't want him to go to jail.....I love him to much to hurt him .... well is it legal for me to move out of my mom's house when I turn 17? So we can date ...........right..........it's not illegal for a 19 year old to date a 16 year old girl in the state of Ohio?
    I really appreciate all of your time it is really nice of you!!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by kisses
    [COLOR=Blue]well is it legal for me to move out of my mom's house when I turn 17? So we can date
    No, but it's legal to move out when you turn 18.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by kisses
    So the only thing that she can really do is get a restraining order against him?.....I really don't want him to go to jail.....I love him to much to hurt him .... well is it legal for me to move out of my mom's house when I turn 17? So we can date ...........right..........it's not illegal for a 19 year old to date a 16 year old girl in the state of Ohio?
    I really appreciate all of your time it is really nice of you!!
    If he were to violate the restraining order by continuing to have contact with you, he could be arrested.

  24. #24
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    Question Help..................

    Ok.........now my friend needs your advice!!! She has a boyfriend and he is 20 and my friend is 16 years old.......she just found out that she is pregnant........she has not told anyone but me..... she is scared to tell her parents because she is so young and she is afraid that they will put him in jail, because they donít like him...... She wants to know if her parents can really but her 20 year old boyfriend in jail for getting her pregnant?

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by kisses
    Ok.........now my friend needs your advice!!! She has a boyfriend and he is 20 and my friend is 16 years old.......she just found out that she is pregnant........she has not told anyone but me..... she is scared to tell her parents because she is so young and she is afraid that they will put him in jail, because they donít like him...... She wants to know if her parents can really but her 20 year old boyfriend in jail for getting her pregnant?
    Maybe. It depends on many factors.
    1. How old was she when she got pregnant?
    2. How old was he?
    3. Where did it occur?

  26. #26
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    Question

    Well she is 16 and she just got pregnant, but her boyfriend was only 19 then because he just had his 20th birthday two days ago.........please tell me that they can't send him to jail......She will need him now more than ever..... My friend is so scared and I am trying to help her..... So please give me some good news...........

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilBunni17
    please help me asap im 14 yrs old august 2 i turn 15 but im dating an18 yr old and when my mom gets mad she says she goning too press stagatory rape on him and we've already had sex but she said we could but know is deinieng it what do i do im in love and im very scared
    yeh.. i'm 14 & ill be 15 in Dec. My friend is 16 turning 17 in April. He asked me out a month ago & I said I really like him but I don't want a BF again right now. So we just hang out and were a lil closer then "just friends" but nothing serious. I'll prob. go out with him over the summer when my life will be alot "settled". But in the summer he will be 17 & ill still be 14 intill December. So it's like a 2 N a half yr differene. It doesn't rly worry me that there's a little age difference but if he was 3 years and like 4 months older then me I guess we would just keep it as friends. But yeah that's just my story

  28. #28
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    wtfyouretarded]i'm 15 too. and my boyfriends 18. My mom doesnt like him much. SHe has said something about how he COULD go to jail if anything happened.i dont think she would. but isnt it as long as he doesnt like FORCE anything then its allright? meh. i dk. i dont think that law is right. i disagree with it.


    well, here is my story. i am 15 and my boyfriend is 18, we had sex, my parents found out, and he is going to jail now for 6 months.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by brokenupbutinlove
    wtfyouretarded]i'm 15 too. and my boyfriends 18. My mom doesnt like him much. SHe has said something about how he COULD go to jail if anything happened.i dont think she would. but isnt it as long as he doesnt like FORCE anything then its allright? meh. i dk. i dont think that law is right. i disagree with it.


    well, here is my story. i am 15 and my boyfriend is 18, we had sex, my parents found out, and he is going to jail now for 6 months.
    It doesn't have to forceed rape. It's a statutory crime. If your mom doesn't like the relationship, it's best to cool it off until you are 18.

    Since you are a minor, you don't have to LIKE the law. When you are an adult and have your own 15 year old daughter, you can feel free to let her have all the sex she wants with adults. But I'm sure your opinion about the law will change when you have kids of your own.

  30. #30
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    Question Help.......

    Ok.........now my friend needs your advice!!! She has a boyfriend and he is 20 and my friend is 16 years old.......she just found out that she is pregnant........she has not told anyone but me..... she is scared to tell her parents because she is so young and she is afraid that they will put him in jail, because they donít like him...... She wants to know if her parents can really but her 20 year old boyfriend in jail for getting her pregnant? Well she is 16 and she just got pregnant, but her boyfriend was only 19 then because he just had his 20th birthday two days ago.........please tell me that they can't send him to jail......She will need him now more than ever..... My friend is so scared and I am trying to help her..... So please give me some good news...........

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