My husband, Scott, has full custody of his 9 year old son, Ethan. His ex wife has visitation every other weekend. However, when it is her weekend, she picks up Ethan after school on Friday, drops him off at Scott's parents' house, and doesn't pick him up until Saturday or Sunday. Her visitation ends Monday morning when she drops him off at school. Usually she doesn't pick him up until Sunday afternoon. So she does not take the time that she is given with her son.
Meanwhile, Scott's relationship with his parents is very strained. Although, he has never denied them the right to see Ethan regardless of their relationship problems. However, we are trying to make it so that Ethan's mother, Jackie, isn't dropping him off over at Scott's parents house every weekend for 95% of the visit, when it is HER time to be doing things and spending time with her son. They went through a long custody battle for her to get those visits, and now she just tosses them aside.
Also whenever Jackie and Scott's mom are together, they grill Ethan about things that go on at our house, like do we feed him vegetable, who comes over to our house, do we drink, etc etc. Scott's parents are very toxic people, but we still want them to be part of Ethan's life, but in limited doses, not for 3 days every other weekend. Ethan has ADHD and emotional issues(due to Jackie abandoning him and moving away for over a year with almost no contact) and whenever he spends a lot of time at his grandparents, he comes back talking baby talk, not listening, being defiant, etc, because he has no rules or expectations or routine when visiting them(hence why we want to limit the visitation length at Grandma and Grandpa's)
Scott told his father today that he wanted the visits during Jackie's time with Ethan to stop, and Scott's father refused, saying that he'd take us to court if we tried to say that they can't see Ethan. How on earth do we get this to stop? We never said that the grandparents couldn't see Ethan, we just want him to get his time with his mother that he wants and needs. We want to prove the point to JACKIE that she cannot just pawn Ethan off on his grandparents and flit in and out of Ethan's life during HER visitation time. This isn't a vendetta against Scott's parents. How do we avoid her doing this? She won't listen to Scott saying she "has to work" and this is why she drops Ethan off at the grandparents. We think she is lying about having to work in the first place. Is Scott within his rights to show up at his parents and pick up Ethan if Jackie continues to do this, since Jackie is not taking her time with her son as she is supposed to be per the court order? We also want to prove a point to Scott's parents that WE are in charge of Ethan, not them, and what we say goes as far as his upbringing and they do have rights, but we will be the ones to tell them when and how long they can see Ethan.
Hopefully this makes sense and I have explained myself throughly. I tired to make it as short and sweet as possible. I am tired of Scott's parents threatening to take us to court when they have no grounds. We can't afford it, and there's no reason, they are just trying to control the situation, as they have always tried to control every aspect of our lives. We have never denied them visits with Ethan nor do we plan on taking him away. We just want his mother to show some accountability as a parent and spend time with her son, because he feels unwanted and we don't know what else to do. Please advise!! Thanks for reading!!!!