We have a huge problem and don't know what to do.
My SIL has issues but nothing she couldn't overcome with a some help.
Her ex-boyfriend, and father of her child, is another matter. This is a man who is a convicted felon - with guns in the house - I thought that was illegal??? He refused to acknowledge the baby when she was born and even made my SIL sign a paper saying he doesn't have to pay child support. Somewhere down the line, it came out he was the father, and he never payed a dime for her medical expenses...even tho that was the only thing the court ordered. He's never paid for her clothing, housing, food etc.
He is the father of of 2 other girls, but different mothers. The first daughter was pregnant at 15. The second mother fled the state and moved to Oregon. My SIL gave him some of the money to fight for custody of the second girl but he lost. The second mother alleged violence and lack of support for reasons why they moved. He was not married to either of the girls parents.
Meanwhile, my SIL is in foreclosure and has been fighting the need to move back to MI and live with her mother. As MILs funds have run out, she has started cutting off SIL's lines of credit etc. Ex-boyfriend, realizing that the money train was about to end, warned my SIL that "social services is going to fine out about this" and warning her she had to 'clean up the house' etc. A week later, before Xmas, my neice went to school and repeated everything the Ex- had said to the school.
Social Services got involved.
Also, since MIL was supporting them, the child wasn't on welfare. Ex was upset, and he and his mother were quite adamant that the child get on welfare and 'get what she has coming'.
Social Services is botching the entire thing. They refuse to talk to us and investigate the father. They sent investigators to the house 'because she's spending time over there' but no mention of guns so he moved them. Also he has 4 people living in a two bedroom apt - where is this child supposed to sleep? As far as we can tell, he admitted to beating the child to the school, but she hasn't investigated that. He, a grand worker of 'the system', is coming off like rose and he's throwing SIL under a bus.
Social Services said they'd give my SIL a form so she could talk to us - but as of last night - SIL has never seen it.
Ex has said he's now going to apply for custody.
We need to step in and apply for temporary custody. But we need some general questions answered first.
In some types of law, its better to be the served first. Like if you're accused of intellectual theft, he who brings the case spends all the money proving it. Is it the same way in family law? Is it better for us to wait until he makes his move so he has to spend money (he doesn't have) to defend? Or do we move now? I'm scared to death the child will end up hurt but he's smart and won't do anything until he has total custody.
Do we need an individual bedroom for the child? Or can she share with our daughter? If we do, we are willing to move.
Can we force Social Services to talk to us? I can't believe this woman is saying 'she doesn't have permission' when we are stating violence in the past, as well as another child with violence. The Social Services system in Ky. seems to have a lot of deaths to children in the system, according the news reports, but are fighting releasing the info. So, this is a systemic problem?
Is there anything else we should know about this up-front. We don't have millions to spend on an attorney, but we can't sit back and watch this beautiful girl end up pregnant at 15 too because of this family. And trust me - all the girls are pregnant young on his side.