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Thread: Minor/ Adult dating

  1. #1
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    Default Minor/ Adult dating

    I'm 14 and am a freshman in high school, and I met a really nice guy who is 20 who I've been speaking to quite frequently via texting and phone conversations. We mainly talk about music and such, nothing at all sexual. I have met him in person, so it isn't one of those 'online' things. Both he and I understand that it is illegal for us to date. We both have openly admitted to having feelings for one and other. He knows the trouble he is risking and we haven't even hugged. I just have a few questions. Is it illegal for us to hug or kiss? Or even see each other? Also, would it be legal for us to date if I was 16?

    I am open to hearing what anyone has to say and I will respect your opinion and take what you have to say into consideration.

  2. #2
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    Hon, please ask yourself why you think an adult would be interested in dating a child.

    20 year old men don't go sniffing around 14 year old girls without an ulterior motive.

  3. #3
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    He's way too old for you & it's possible he could get into a lot of trouble.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

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    What they said. What do your parents think of you seeing him?
    I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

  5. #5
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    Exclamation Das ist in der Doktor!

    Ali651 ~ I am open to hearing what anyone has to say and I will respect your opinion and take what you have to say into consideration
    What a polite way of saying you’re likely as not are going to ignore any advice you might receive and go ahead do what you want anyway.

    First off, you’re not going hear opinions,
    you are going to hear cold hard facts.
    Second. If your 20 year old friend had any real inkling of the risks he's taking,
    YOU wouldn’t be here asking questions.
    Third. The only thing that needs to be taken into consideration is
    what sort of a future does your 20 year old friend expect to have when he gets out of jail and has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life should this all blow up in HIS face?
    Like Alice asked, what DO your parents have to say about all ths?

    ..________________________
    ~ The thing about getting older is your body has a way of telling you when it’s time to start making decisions,
    …using a different part of your anatomy. ~ drr

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    http://moraloutrage.net/state-laws/m...-consent-laws/

    609.352 Solicitation of children to engage in sexual conduct.

    Subdivision 1. Definitions. As used in this section:

    (a) "child" means a person 15 years of age or younger;

    (b) "sexual conduct" means sexual contact of the individual’s primary genital area, sexual penetration as defined in section 609.341, or sexual performance as defined in section 617.246; and

    (c) "solicit" means commanding, entreating, or attempting to persuade a specific person in person, by telephone, by letter, or by computerized or other electronic means.

    Subd. 2. Prohibited act. A person 18 years of age or older who solicits a child or someone the person reasonably believes is a child to engage in sexual conduct with intent to engage in sexual conduct is guilty of a felony and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than three years, or to payment of a fine of not more than $5,000, or both.

    Subd. 3. Defenses. Mistake as to age is not a defense to a prosecution under this section.
    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Dodd View Post
    What they said. What do your parents think of you seeing him?
    My mom knows I talk to him. She has met him and likes him as well. I don't see my dad.
    Last edited by Ali651; 11-09-2011 at 05:04 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by drruthless View Post
    What a polite way of saying you’re likely as not are going to ignore any advice you might receive and go ahead do what you want anyway.

    First off, you’re not going hear opinions,
    you are going to hear cold hard facts.
    Second. If your 20 year old friend had any real inkling of the risks he's taking,
    YOU wouldn’t be here asking questions.
    Third. The only thing that needs to be taken into consideration is
    what sort of a future does your 20 year old friend expect to have when he gets out of jail and has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life should this all blow up in HIS face?
    Like Alice asked, what DO your parents have to say about all ths?

    ..________________________
    ~ The thing about getting older is your body has a way of telling you when it’s time to start making decisions,
    …using a different part of your anatomy. ~ drr
    If I was planning on ignoring the advice I was given, I wouldn't have posted this in the first place. I appreciate it and I'm going to listen to what everyone tells me.

  9. #9
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    Then please, honey, listen to this, and know that I have been exactly where you are and know whereof I speak.

    There are only two reasons why a 20 year old would be interested romantically in a 14 year old.

    One is if he is so immature that he cannot get a girl of his own age to look at him.

    The other is if he is looking for someone he can control. That does not necessarily mean sexually, although it can and often does lead to that. Regardless of what he says now.

    Neither reason makes him look very good.

    The best thing you can do for him is to stop talking to him. If ANYONE finds the relationship inappropriate (it does not have to be your mother - it can be a teacher, pastor, friend, counselor, next door neighbor, Facebook friend, passerby on the street, passengers in low flying aircraft...) they can report it to the authorities. In which case YOU are not in any trouble at all but HE is toast. And he will not like it in big-boy prison one little bit.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

  10. #10
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    Additionally, your Mom might find herself in deep trouble, too.

    For failing to protect you.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ali651 View Post
    If I was planning on ignoring the advice I was given, I wouldn't have posted this in the first place. I appreciate it and I'm going to listen to what everyone tells me.
    I said, likely as not, not that you will.
    I’ve been a member of this forum long enough to have read nearly every conceivable response a fourteen year old could have to offer so I hope you can forgive my skepticism.
    If you are one of the rare exceptions, than let me offer my apologies.

    .._________________
    ~ Life has a way of teaching us things that our parents couldn’t’ or wouldn’t,
    sometimes with fatal consequences for not paying attention.

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