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Thread: Can a 19 year old talk to his 16 year old gf? Connecticut

  1. #1
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    Default Can a 19 year old talk to his 16 year old gf? Connecticut

    Ok long story so you understand it all!
    Ok so here is the deal she was born Jan 18 1995 and i was born may 29th 1992. At first her dad was ok with it we from the beginning told him we liked each other. Then when he found out my parents did not like it he claimed that he thought we were only friends that he had no clue we liked each other. So i ended up moving out and my parents made it very clear that me and her loved each other. However then he let me come over his house to see his daughter. So we got very close. Then i told him i was sick from a heart problem and would die in 3-4 months. Two days later he cut us apart and told his daughter not to talk to me but not to tell me i could not talk to her that he would tell me the next day. He never did his daughter wrote down my number and told him to call me. And he did not. So he finally told me 3 weeks after and i had to go to him in order to hear it. He said that i was to old and she was to young. Wow from may to july i aged three years. He told other people that he thought we were just friends and then pulled us apart, remember that excuse. However he use to joke calling me her bf and once payed for me at a restaurant and said i guess i have to pay for my soon to be son in law. But he said he don't know we loved each other ha. by the way my heart thing ain't as serious as the docs first expected.

    So the question is if i continue to talk to the girl against her father wishes can i get arrested or have a restraining order? I just want to be able to talk to her we don't have sex and we don't touch each other just talk over the phone and use to see each other every once in a while!

    Thanks sorry for the book lol.
    Last edited by Surefire; 07-21-2011 at 05:04 PM.

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    If father says stay away from her, you stay away from her until she is 18. Yes,
    you can get in trouble if you don't.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

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    He probably thought you were lying, too.

    Betty is correct. If Dad says stay away - then you best stay away. No phone calls, texts, social networking chats/PMs...nothing.

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    What can happen like jail restraining order. And what about age of consent she can have sex but it dont have a effect on talking thats all i want to do is be able to talk to her nothing more? Please explain im confused maybe i dont understand the law. Help me out. I dont mean to annoy you guys just trying to get a good understanding!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Surefire View Post
    What can happen like jail restraining order. And what about age of consent she can have sex but it dont have a effect on talking thats all i want to do is be able to talk to her nothing more? Please explain im confused maybe i dont understand the law. Help me out. I dont mean to annoy you guys just trying to get a good understanding!



    Even if she can consent to sex at 16 or whatever age, this does NOT mean she gets to override her parents' decision regarding who she can or cannot be around.

    This means that if Dad gets a restraining order against you - and he does NOT have to articulate a specific threat in order to do this given that she's still a minor - that's IT as far as you're concerned.

    His world is GOLDEN. He is GOD, to put it another way. Right up until she either emancipates (not happening - let's not go there) or reaches the age of majority.

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    Yes. Dad can get a restraining order. And if you violate it, then yes, you go to jail.

    The age of consent and the age of majority are two different things. All the age of consent means is that the state will no longer prosecute you for having sex with her (though there are other related things it still might prosecute you for). It is not until the age of majority, which is AT LEAST 18 in every state and older in some, that she has the right to override Dad's decisions as to who she can and cannot see and talk to.

    Until she is 18, and not one minute earlier, Dad is GOD.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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    Default Well I checked.

    Well I checked with federal state and individual state officers. And he can not get a restraing order against me for no reason it would have to be that I did a act of violence, or threatened harm, or stalk. And all parties above said that I have not done anything illegal. Therefor restrain order has extremely little or no chance to pass. He threatened to kill me lately to a few people so tables turned even tho I rather we just bolth get along rather than this epic battle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Surefire View Post
    Well I checked with federal state and individual state officers. And he can not get a restraing order against me for no reason it would have to be that I did a act of violence, or threatened harm, or stalk. And all parties above said that I have not done anything illegal. Therefor restrain order has extremely little or no chance to pass. He threatened to kill me lately to a few people so tables turned even tho I rather we just bolth get along rather than this epic battle.


    You were terrifically ill-informed.

    You see, you're an adult. Your girlfriend is a minor.

    There is a big difference between a restraining order obtained to protect a minor, and a restraining order between two adults.

    THAT is what you're missing.

    Did you make sure those law enforcement folk you talked to were actually attorneys? Who recognized the difference?

    No?

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    Well in Since were only 2 and 8 months apart they said there would have to be a reasonable reason to get a restraing order for it to hold up in court. You can't just get one cause you don't like someone. Especially the fact it's proven that I try to protect her. When she ran away a few days ago I met her to see if she was ok than handed her over to police and expressed my concern to them for first and most importantly the fact he makes fun of her for being suicidal and that she takes medication and also that he threatened to kill me. So he is known as no GOD. He had Sorta a rep like that to cause I was warned about him when I started to date her. Anyhow all that enforcement said was that it be extremely hard for any restraining order that was filed to be held cause It has been noted time and time again that Im not there to harm her what so ever.

    Are you a attorney? Just wondering. And if you are is this your expertise? and if not what would this expertise be called? Cause I'm looking for a attorney that specializes in this field of expertise.

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    Dear Surefire,

    Here's the deal. Maybe a restraining order is legal, maybe not. But because your GF is under 18 what her parents say is what must be.

    If this is true love you can wait and you can obey her parents while waiting.

    By dating (not even having sex, just dating) a minor, particularly against their parents' wishes, you risk all sorts of things you really don't want. For instance, if her father even thinks you may be having sex with her you can be arrested, and, if convicted (even if you did nothing) you will be labeled a sex offender, have to register everywhere you live, not be able to get certain types of jobs or live in certain areas, and so forth. Plus have a criminal record.

    All because you disobeyed the parents of the minor you wanted to date.

    Alternate scenario: you date her. Things go well for a while and then they don't. She cries "statutory rape" and you get arrested. If convicted, you will be labeled as a sex offender and have to register everywhere you live, not be able to get certain types of jobs or live in certain areas, and so forth. Plus have a criminal record.

    While neither of these things may happen there is no guarantee of that. Just like there is no guarantee when you put a gun to your head that you've got the unloaded chamber up.

    Pursuing this minor and disobeying her parents could be a life-limiting choice.

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    How can she cry stagetory rape when she's 16 and is age of consent would it not just be her crying rape. And were bolth virgins so how would he be able to claim that we had sex when we have not. I understand what your saying but the police already know I don't do any thing wrong for god sake she ran away how many 19 year olds do u know that when there gf runs away does not have sex with her and I did not we met infront of a store were there together for 15-20 mins before a cop came where I told them the problem and handed her off. So I also don't see where he can do anything when I am a good kid and I don't do anything wrong. And if he did lie they would have to prove it before I get marked as a what u said sex offender even tho I never had sex ever. 19 year old virgin I obviously got something rite. I'm not like other drug or alcohol fueled teens. I try to do everything rite and I'm not gonna get lied about by anyone especially her father. I don't know I'm not mad at you guys. I'm mad at the what u said just cause he's the type that would do something exactly like u said.

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    You are free to be as mad as you wish. You are also free to make whatever decisions you wish. I suggest you make the decisions when you are thinking rationally and not angry. The responders here genuinely wish to help you and are giving you good answers.

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    No I'm not mad like angry I'm mad at just the fact a court would even entertain a restraining order due to a lie if you know what I mean. And just frustrated that he might just try that but hey one day at a time rite. The only other question was if he passed a restraining order on me and I marry that girl which I will can she say or do anything to remove the lies her father said to me like if he had me processed some how as a sex offender can she later come out and say it was a lie and now that she is 18 that it would be taken as a adult sayin it. Cause I know that since she is a minor she does not have any say in court if he were to lie about me.

    Is anyone on this thread a attorney?

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    Trust me I appreciate everyone's comments!!

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    You are free to seek the advice of an attorney. Many offer a 1/2 hour consultation free. We do not refer on this website.

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    I have a law degree. From a top 20 law school. AND I did really, really well in Criminal Law, as well as my other classes. And I agree with the responses you received above. In addition, a 19 year old has no business dating a 16 year old. Two different worlds. Looking at your posts, you'd be better off spending your time in school learning basic writing skills and getting more educated so you can hold your own with adults, instead of children.

    The father CAN get a restraining order against you, and you CAN be arrested and put in jail of you defy it. There is a reason why there are laws protecting minors for adults.

    If she is being abused, report it to CPS. Oh, but you wouldn't do that, because they likely wouldn't let you see her either. Start thinking with the head on your shoulders instead of the little head. Grow up, get educated and date people your own age. If she's having problems at home, the last things she needs is a predator, which is what we call adults who want to date children.

    If you still don't like what you hear, go hire a lawyer. If you can't afford one, you can't afford to be seeing her either. You'll have much more expensive legal problems if you continue with her than a simple consult will cost you. But the lawyer will tell you the same thing we're telling you.
    I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

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    Just a note: It is very unusual for an Attorney to hang out on a forum legal or otherwise. They charge for advice and would be foolish to give it away without hope you might retain them or that your case is in their area of law or local. The exception of course is sites owned by Attorneys who might answer questions or direct you to sponsors on site who pay site owner for ads or referrrals. As noted earlier you best legal advice comes from a local Attorney who practices law in your area.

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    Allright one I can afford a lawyer I own a company and can afford it trust me I can. I mean the engagement ring I bought her Is alone 8k. Yes I suck at spelling always have prob always will, but the ability to spell has nothing to do with wether your a adult or not lol. I've seen that time on yahoo questions and people that answer comments on ask. My grandfather is dilexic (probably spelt that wrong) and he's still very wealthy. Due to the fact he's a inventor. However if your going on how you think that a person who can't spell is not adult like then I don't know how much credit I give what you say. I understand the concern and will take into consideration what you said but a lawyer that judges if someone is adult by there use of grammar and spelling is a but concerning.

    Also I'm not a predator for I'm trying to do what's best for her. Yes maybe I made a mistake by disobeying the fathers wishes but that is all. Like I said previously a 19 year old who is still a virgin that does not do drugs or alcohol is pretty good for a non adult as you say. Also the fact that rather then be a bum at home I live on my own and own my own business and have people who work for me so for a KID lol I'm doing pretty well. If spelling is the worst thing then that's good. When you have as much as I do invested in the girl you love it will be hard to say goodbye always will. But thanks for the information.

    Also thanks to everyone else on here that has helped and I will ask a local attorney. I called a few I just don't know which one to ask like is there a attorney that I should seek out like a certin type that specializes in this stuff? Or no?

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    Also Alice dodd who is a adult and practiced law or whatever why aren't u one now also in your signature "I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a desciption only and should be verified by your attorney." WHAT THE HELL IS A DESCIPTION?? I don't mean to be rude but your not a lawyer you probably failed your bar and you can't spell either. So who's not a adult now. Obviously proves that ur theory on being a adult is wrong or your not a adult.

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    Surefire, you are free to verify the information you are being given here with the attorney of your choice. You are not free to badmouth the volunteers here who are responding to you. We get that you don't like what you are being told. But no one is being rude to you and you don't get to be rude to us, either. Keep it up and your privileges on this site will be suspended. Got it?
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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    I understand you guys stick together but she was being rude first and also vulgar. She has a rep for doing this and being rude and has this rep over a group of other websites. And I asked for help not peoples personal opinion. And all I said was the things she said and turned them back on her so there is no problem thanks.

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    She acused me of being a pred and told me to grow up. I will note you or her can't limit my privileges on this forum. Got it?

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    For moderators can't do that. You can report me and then they would look at it and see me using your guys words against her and you. It's the truth she ain't a lawyer and she misspelled. If you have a problem with what I say don't say it. Also think with your little head yeah obviously she's reasonable. And that's the end of this petty argument. That's not why I'm here.

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    Oh, but I can - and I am.

    You just earned yourself a seven day suspension.
    Last edited by cbg; 10-13-2011 at 12:39 PM.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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