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Thread: Problem's with soon to be 18 year old son Oregon

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    Default Problem's with soon to be 18 year old son Oregon

    My son is currently 17 and his girlfriend is 15, once he turns 18 from what I'm understanding from other posts the age of consent is 18 in Oregon. So, what can I do to make this 15 year old leave my son alone when her parents and her are completly okay with this? Can her parents get into trouble for allowing/aiding thier daughter in seeing my son or can I get a restraining order on this girl and her family if they won't do any thing to keep her away from him? He's tried to brake up with her so may times and she is completely abusive physically and mentally to him but she stalks and harrasses him relentlessly and I don't know where to go with this. I'm afraid she's going to land him in jail for either the age difference or he's going to be accused of being the abuser if she's the one hitting and screaming at him in public. People automatically assume he's doing something to her because he's so much bigger but she's the one going crazy on him and he's just trying to get away from her. She's been told by me not to call my house of cell phone and has been told she is not allowed at our home but she still calls and shows up. Please help, her parents just aren't getting it, there is a bit of a language barrier between them and myself so maybe they just don't understand the seriousness of it and I don't know how to make them understand.

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    Quote Originally Posted by needtoknow76 View Post
    My son is currently 17 and his girlfriend is 15, once he turns 18 from what I'm understanding from other posts the age of consent is 18 in Oregon. So, what can I do to make this 15 year old leave my son alone when her parents and her are completly okay with this?

    Ban her from your home, block your number, and frankly - take away your son's privileges INCLUDING his cell phone.

    Can her parents get into trouble for allowing/aiding thier daughter in seeing my son or can I get a restraining order on this girl and her family if they won't do any thing to keep her away from him? He's tried to brake up with her so may times and she is completely abusive physically and mentally to him but she stalks and harrasses him relentlessly and I don't know where to go with this.

    Call the police, and get a restraining order.


    I'm afraid she's going to land him in jail for either the age difference or he's going to be accused of being the abuser if she's the one hitting and screaming at him in public. People automatically assume he's doing something to her because he's so much bigger but she's the one going crazy on him and he's just trying to get away from her. She's been told by me not to call my house of cell phone and has been told she is not allowed at our home but she still calls and shows up. Please help, her parents just aren't getting it, there is a bit of a language barrier between them and myself so maybe they just don't understand the seriousness of it and I don't know how to make them understand.


    ...and of course the physical abuse has been reported, yes?

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    The time to get the restraining order is NOW, not when he turns 18. Once he turns 18, you can't get the restraining order for him. But you can get one for yourself and your house, if he continues to live there. After he turns 18, it becomes a stalking issue.

    Start logging the problems, save emails, voicemails, texts, etc. If she's at the house and being crazy, get it on video. Start calling the police when she comes over, you need to keep her away from your house, and your son needs to develop some backbone to just walk away whenever she comes near. This could be serious, and your son could land in jail of she reports HIM for abuse.
    I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

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    I had a friend a few years ago that had this very problem. Nothing about a girl really, but his 17 year old son was acting all macho stud and told his daddy off. Bragged about how he could make ends meet without his daddy. He didn't need his daddy. Nope. So his daddy took him up on it. This happened on a trip to Vegas. Daddy took his son's luggage, airline ticket, and left him in Vegas with nothing but his cell phone, $50 and the clothes on his back. They were living in Denver at the time.

    After a week that kid had eaten enough crow (and whatever else he could scrape up) that when he came back he was a changed kid. We're talking a literal 180 degrees.

    I don't know if that help you, but it came to mine after reading the OP.
    I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
    Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
    I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
    Don't worry, be happy.

    http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

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    Daddy is lucky the kid didn't go to the police, CPS, etc.
    I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Dodd View Post
    The time to get the restraining order is NOW, not when he turns 18. Once he turns 18, you can't get the restraining order for him. But you can get one for yourself and your house, if he continues to live there. After he turns 18, it becomes a stalking issue.

    Start logging the problems, save emails, voicemails, texts, etc. If she's at the house and being crazy, get it on video. Start calling the police when she comes over, you need to keep her away from your house, and your son needs to develop some backbone to just walk away whenever she comes near. This could be serious, and your son could land in jail of she reports HIM for abuse.
    YES! YES! YES!

    Get a restraining order and figure out a way to get your son to understand the term PRISON!

    I work with several men who have done this earlier in their life, and yes, PRISON is where they spent years of their lives! They are convicted felons who are lucky to find work, cannot vote, cannot serve on a jury, can't carry a gun and have to live their life by reporting to the world that they are sex offenders!

    That term is not a good one to have to live with! It doesn't go away after the 15 year old, nor does it go away after some cheap thrills! It's for life and from what I can tell...it sucks!
    Not everything in America is actionable in a court of law. Please remember that attorneys are in business for profit, and they get paid regardless of whether or not you win or lose.

    I offer my knowledge and experience at no charge, I admit that I am NOT infallible, I am wrong sometimes, hopefully another responder will correct me if that is the case with the answer above, regardless, it is your responsibility to verify any and all information provided.

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    I have a relative that was in a similar situation. She had a baby, and turned completely against him. (Fatal attraction, fatal hatred) She hid the child, and it took years for her family to allow visitation. The little girl is now 8, and his grandmother is finally allowed to visit her occasionally.

    It cost a fortune in lawyers fees to keep him out of jail. For your own good, have him either join the military, or go to a college far away for a few years.

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