What is a Joint physical custody?

[mamhelp]

A joint physical custody situation is one in which the children actually move from one parent’s home to the other for a specified amount of time (for example, school year with one parent and summers with the other OR alternate weeks with each parent).

[Wicksy]

Depends,

More than likely it means the child will spend one week with you and the next week with the other parent, throughout the year. Very sad that they do this.

[elklaw]

The goal is for each parent to have the child 50% of the time, but this may not always work out equally in some instances.

[sallyjo]

we have our step daughter 50% of the month and her mom has her 50% of the month....my response to the previous post is "why is it sad"? Doesn't a child have the right to belong to both households?? both parents? i think it would be sad for her to only be with her mom and not her father also think of what she would have missed out on....her brother for one thing! I don't think it is sad at all.......

[Wicksy]

Well it depends sally on how old the child is, if the other parent was involved before etc. If they were married and all was living in the home....etc.

Some couples do not have their weeks put together, some have 1/2 a week to 1/2 a week and some have a week to week.

I have seen for the most part in Philadelphia.......where 1 parent was never involved and the children are toddlers and or young children. Not pre-teens where they might be able to handle it better.

Sometimes for the most part the parents do not live near eachother and the other parent was never involved. They come to court and say now they want the child and automatically the judge gives a week a week and the child is effected tremendoulsy.

1. Now here is this other person they are being taken by.
2. different rules.
3. they are being shifted from house to another every week or every 4 days
4. they are too young to understand and they start acting out.
5. kids say that they dont want to go with the other parent and they want to stay with........I have seen where the non-costodial parent gets the child and do nothing with them, its was done just for spite towards the other.
6. What address do they child say that they live or what sort of permanency (sp) do they have in their lives. Their like little traveling nomads.

I could go on. Most of the time the Judge in Philadelphia system does not even listen to the cases and just grant it and do not hear any testimony. Philadelphia has one of the worse Family Court Systems in the country.

I am not saying that it does not work for some people and children, but, you have to look the whole picture sometime and the age of the child.

I have seen this with my own to eyes to many of times and A LOT of Doctors and Teachers do not recommend it.

It was never said that the child should not see or stay with the other parent b ut sometime is not for the best.

Think about this, A mother been raising a child on her own for 6 years and the father never been a part of their life or botherd with them. The parents never been married. The father all of a sudden (I am just using this scenario because this is what happens most, but it can be reversed) wants the child. They go to court and the judge automatically grants 50/50 every 5 days. The child does not know the father, and does not want to go and starts acting out in school and amongst other things.

They do not live near eachother so it is different routines, different people and the child is not taking to it, failing or doing bad in school, etc acting out with peers, crying hysterically because they dont want to go.

Nothing should be done? this is good for the child?

Do you have any children of your own? Not to mean any disrespect but sometimes we only hear one side of the story what our spouse wants us to know or hear and not the whole picture. If the child's parent is alive, well and taking care of the child and they have legal custody and doing well with it; Remember that the child does have another parent and even though you are in that child's life due to marriage, your not that parent. Unless they are deceased. Talking from experience, and not pointing fingers.

[sallyjo]

I do have children of my"own". Don't know what that has to do with anything... I came into my step-daughter's life when she was 5...We have have 50/50 visitation and custody of her since she was 5...her father and I have her for a week and her mother for a week.....She is now 10......She is the brightest most well adjusted child I have ever seen..... SHE was the one who asked to live with both parents 50/50......before we had her every wed and every other weekend...So this is not a case of father showing up out of the blue and wanting into the child's life...... My daughter has 3 parents that raise her and she will tell you that.... I am her parent.......I am sure your case is different and obvisiouly have a problem with children being with both parents... I am a teacher and would never recommend a child not living with both parents if that situation arose...
In response to your concerns:
We co parent our daughter with her mother...we ALL THREE make decisions concerning our daughter... There are the same rules at both household...She uses whatever address she wants to use....
It is easy for us we live about 6 miles apart......It works for us and she is a smart, bright..Straight A student with No behavior marks since K......She is not a poor lost soul who doesn't know where she belongings because she splits her month between parents........

[Wicksy]

I NEVER said I had a case or a situation, dont know where I wrote that.

Did you daughter ask for 50/50 when she was 5???!! or when she was 10?

As stated before, I never stated that it did not work, I said from my obersvation, what I have seen, experienced and see in the court rooms the most part I didnt think it did. As, stated before, every case is different. Also, I am glad that the child's viewpoint was taken into consideration, not much children's view point or opinion are heard in court or even given the chance to.

Also, As stated before regarding the step parenting question and if you have children of your own (outside of the marriage you have now)...this sentence is the perfect example and it is what you wrote.. "We co parent our daughter with her mother...we ALL THREE make decisions concerning our daughter" who is "our" with HER mother?

I think that sentence would be more appropriate stating We co-parent THEIR daughter along with myself (meaning you).

I am glad you are in the decision making and all of you get along great...sincerley some DONT. I am glad that the daughter looks at both of you equally. But, I wonder what your daughter would say if she was asked "what is her mother's name" or had to put it on an application. Just as you remember that you are not her mother "per-se"
I dont think her mother would take it too kindly if you started to make uni-later decisions without her, because she's "your" daughter.

case and point, just like this is your opinion and this is mine and teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc have theirs also. Also, I work with children also, have a degree in Child Psychology and currently going for my masters in SW and Psych. so I am not pullings stunts when I talk about this.

But my question still remain, in the case where it DOES NOT work what then? Who really says whats in the BIC of the child. The parent's or someone who just going to look or hear a case.



Good day and thank you for your view!!

[coloradomom]

My daughter is 4 and both my ex and I have share our weeks 50/50 but because of this he feels he doesnt have to pay the entire child support without a guilt trip.. What would you suggest

[Justice seeker]

If the order was based on the father having the child 50% of the time, then he should be paying what the court ordered. The court decides the amount of child support by a guideline, determining how much each parent makes, and how much time each parent has the child. Unfortunately, most men make more money than women. (Societal standards!!)

[stepmominTX]

Why should he have to pay CS if visitation is 50/50....
I can see his point of view...we have our step-daughter 50/50 also AND pay 500.00 child support......we have additional expenses every time it is our time with my step daughter.... We have additional grocery bills, gas bills to go get her at school, school lunches etc etc etc.... I am not complaining about having her 50/50 it was the best thing for her, but I do have some gripes about having pay CS AND having all the expenses of when she is with us....but it is the law and there is nothing we can do about it.....and Mom makes just as much as my husband does....

[arkansasmom]

Originally Posted by stepmominTX

Why should he have to pay CS if visitation is 50/50....
I can see his point of view...we have our step-daughter 50/50 also AND pay 500.00 child support......we have additional expenses every time it is our time with my step daughter.... We have additional grocery bills, gas bills to go get her at school, school lunches etc etc etc.... I am not complaining about having her 50/50 it was the best thing for her, but I do have some gripes about having pay CS AND having all the expenses of when she is with us....but it is the law and there is nothing we can do about it.....and Mom makes just as much as my husband does....

I can't believe you still have to pay child support on your SD. I thought if you had 50/50 that you only had to pay additional child support if the one parent made significantly less than the other parent. And your husband and his ex make the same? That does not seem right. What was their reasoning for you paying that much more?

[stepmominTX]

We just went to our lawyer again regarding that matter....... It is not in the divorce papers about the 50/50 visitation.....We only started that 2 years ago when she was 8...before that we had standard visitation, and the papers still reflect the standard visitation times.....Our lawyer said to get the divorce decree to reflect the 50/50 visitation first then go with trying to get CS lowered or done away with......My advice to anyone is to get everything in writing! We didn't and are paying the price...If we ask mom for lower CS she can, because is is CP, yank the 50/50 visitation and then we go to court.........we are going to get her to try to agree to lower the CS because of the 50/50 split we are doing, but that means less money in her pocket and we know she wont' go for that...

[arkansasmom]

You are being hood-winked my dear. I would get a lawyer on the double. You have been doing 50/50 for two years so it seems that a judge would definitely take that into consideration leave custody arrangements as they are now, and would also order a decrease in support. (I'm not sure about the monies already wrongfully paid by you) There is no reason that you and your husband should have to put up with that. You are good people to take half responsibilty of the child in the first place...you should not have to "buy" the ex's cooperation in order to continue to share parent time in that way.

[shedo]

Originally Posted by sallyjo

I do have children of my"own". Don't know what that has to do with anything... I came into my step-daughter's life when she was 5...We have have 50/50 visitation and custody of her since she was 5...her father and I have her for a week and her mother for a week.....She is now 10......She is the brightest most well adjusted child I have ever seen..... SHE was the one who asked to live with both parents 50/50......before we had her every wed and every other weekend...So this is not a case of father showing up out of the blue and wanting into the child's life...... My daughter has 3 parents that raise her and she will tell you that.... I am her parent.......I am sure your case is different and obvisiouly have a problem with children being with both parents... I am a teacher and would never recommend a child not living with both parents if that situation arose...
In response to your concerns:
We co parent our daughter with her mother...we ALL THREE make decisions concerning our daughter... There are the same rules at both household...She uses whatever address she wants to use....
It is easy for us we live about 6 miles apart......It works for us and she is a smart, bright..Straight A student with No behavior marks since K......She is not a poor lost soul who doesn't know where she belongings because she splits her month between parents........

Don't be upset. If this is truly how you parent, than you should realize your situation is not that common. And good for you for being there for the kids!! Unfortunately, that isn't the case for a lot of kids. It is very emotional when they have to go to 2 different households with different rules and expectations and perhaps differnet siblings, different friends, etc. (and in many cases, parents who don't get a long and create drama and stress and back-and-forth tug of war with the kids emotions) Every situation is different. I'm glad for you it's worked out, because you're right, equal time with each parent is best! But like I said, that rarely is the case, so dont' be upset by the comment of "how sad", you really should feel sorry for some kids that it does affect negatively.

[stepmominTX]

we too have our step daughter 50/50. She lives half the week with my husband and I and half the week with her mom...She asked for this arrangement and it is working out great for her. She is not confused about where she goes and when. She loves having two households. My husband and his ex Co-parent their daughter together. The rules tend to be the same at both houses. She has the best of both worlds. At our house she gets the sense of a nuclear family, mom, dad, brother and her...at her other house it is just her mom and self but they get to do some things that we don't (like eat out often, go to a lot of parties, and do some things that lend themselves to single parenting)...
The only negative thing is having to deal with the ex on a frequent basis. Because we do co-parent my stepdaughter there is a lot of communication weekly on different things going on......
we too pay child support to the ex and still have her 50/50........we can not get CS modified, because in TX it does not matter how many nights the child is with whom it matters who is the CP versus the NCP.......She is the CP even though we share visitation....there is nothing we can do about it...
It does work for us and I truly do feel sorry for the people who try it and it doesn't work or the kids who are doing it and it is not working out for them....I can only speak from the experiences I have with it...