Husband thinks I am too fat

[Top Sirloin]

> Claire wrote:

I cannot be with a man who doesn't desire me. Should I lose the weight (IF Ican) or end my marriage and move on?

I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement.
Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of
a WWII concentration camp?

Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on
accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a
happy marriage if neither of you is willing to
invest a little time and energy in yourselves.
Often it isn't so much the physical change that's
attractive, but the admiration you gain for
someone who becomes a personal hero to you for
what they've accomplished.

Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type
II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight,
not a cause.

--
Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

[D Lane]

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no longer
"attractive"? Get real




"Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in message
news:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

Claire wrote:

(IF I

can) or end my marriage and move on? I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause. -- Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

[D Lane]

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no longer
"attractive"? Get real




"Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in message
news:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

Claire wrote:

(IF I

can) or end my marriage and move on? I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause. -- Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

[jbrianchamberlin]

On Fri, 11 Mar 2005 01:03:57 GMT, "D Lane" <daniellelane@eastlink.ca>
wrote:

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no longer"attractive"? Get real"Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in messagenews:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

(IF I

I've not followed this thread but it's come up a few times in my life
so I figured I'd add something here. Yes, some people get fat and it
causes problems in their relationship. I dated a girl (end of high
school) and for a few years afterwards who was a little heavy. During
our relationship she started getting REALLY heavy.. like was over 250
lbs and going up. I still loved her, but I became very concious of
her weight..tried to suggest we both adopt healthier life styles etc.
but nothing worked. She made matters worse by growing increasingly
insecure about things which put a terrible strain on our relationship.
All the while I remained supportive but in the back of my head, it was
really bothering me. I guess it's safe to say it now, but I was
actually becoming embarassed of her. I still cared for her very much
but I was growing less and less attractive to her. Eventually things
became so bad we broke up. I look back now and think it wasn't really
because of the added weight... but in reality it was. Not so much as I
didn't want to help her through it, but it cause all kinds of problems
on various levels. So..increased weight can end a relationship and
NOT just because one person doesn't want to be with a fat chick.
Weight loss is completely under someone's control if they want it bad
enough. Not much different then drugs and alcohol. If someone finds
they are married to an alcoholic, they can either do nothing or they
can demand that person get their lives in order etc. I see nothing
different when it comes to excess weight. It's not healthy for anyone
involved.

--Brian

[jbrianchamberlin]

On Fri, 11 Mar 2005 01:03:57 GMT, "D Lane" <daniellelane@eastlink.ca>
wrote:

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no longer"attractive"? Get real"Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in messagenews:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

(IF I

I've not followed this thread but it's come up a few times in my life
so I figured I'd add something here. Yes, some people get fat and it
causes problems in their relationship. I dated a girl (end of high
school) and for a few years afterwards who was a little heavy. During
our relationship she started getting REALLY heavy.. like was over 250
lbs and going up. I still loved her, but I became very concious of
her weight..tried to suggest we both adopt healthier life styles etc.
but nothing worked. She made matters worse by growing increasingly
insecure about things which put a terrible strain on our relationship.
All the while I remained supportive but in the back of my head, it was
really bothering me. I guess it's safe to say it now, but I was
actually becoming embarassed of her. I still cared for her very much
but I was growing less and less attractive to her. Eventually things
became so bad we broke up. I look back now and think it wasn't really
because of the added weight... but in reality it was. Not so much as I
didn't want to help her through it, but it cause all kinds of problems
on various levels. So..increased weight can end a relationship and
NOT just because one person doesn't want to be with a fat chick.
Weight loss is completely under someone's control if they want it bad
enough. Not much different then drugs and alcohol. If someone finds
they are married to an alcoholic, they can either do nothing or they
can demand that person get their lives in order etc. I see nothing
different when it comes to excess weight. It's not healthy for anyone
involved.

--Brian

[Bill in Co.]

In today's "modern" and "so enlightened" society, people leave for ANY
reason. Viva Le Age of Enlightenment! Get real.

D Lane wrote:

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no

longer

"attractive"? Get real "Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in

message

news:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

(IF

> I can) or end my marriage and move on? I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause. -- Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

[Bill in Co.]

In today's "modern" and "so enlightened" society, people leave for ANY
reason. Viva Le Age of Enlightenment! Get real.

D Lane wrote:

and what if hubby bwecomes bald--should she leave his *** bc he is no

longer

"attractive"? Get real "Scott Johnson" <scottjohnson@tornadosaregood.planetkc.com> wrote in

message

news:1130qgbchl5856e@corp.supernews.com...

(IF

> I can) or end my marriage and move on? I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause. -- Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

[Doug Laidlaw]

Scott Johnson wrote:

Claire wrote:

I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause.

I don't claim to be an authority on that point. My wife is simply obese,
and has been for a long time. She doesn't appear to overeat. Her idea of
a big meal is smaller than mine. She was heavy on or wedding day, but
nothing like now. We thought it was her thyroid, but her thyroxine levels
are normal. She did try a diet for a while, and managed to take a bit off.
She blames a falling-off of hormones. I suspect (from this and other
things) that she wants to be unattractive to me. But we still have a
reasonable marriage, after 35 years.

Claire, do you mind if I spell out the choice implied in the quoted
sentence?
Which is more important to you, your weight or your husband? Get a
professional opinion on how much you can take off, then ask yourself if
your husband is worth the effort. You sound rather like an exchange on our
doorstep a few weeks ago. We had moved into a retirement village. One of
the staff (female) came to our door and commented that I had better start
putting up defences against all the designing widows. I replied that my
wife had better start getting ready to compete. Both together said "No!"
My wife isn't required to compete. If she doesn't try, and I look
elsewhere, it is MY fault. Why? I expect her only to do what is
reasonable, not look like she has come from a concentration camp. I would
ask no more of you.

Doug L.
--
ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets
the credit.
- Emerson.

[Doug Laidlaw]

Scott Johnson wrote:

Claire wrote:

I love the "IF" I can lose the weight statement. Ever seen a picture of a fat person coming out of a WWII concentration camp? Get on Weight Watchers and get your husband on accutane. I don't know how you expect to have a happy marriage if neither of you is willing to invest a little time and energy in yourselves. Often it isn't so much the physical change that's attractive, but the admiration you gain for someone who becomes a personal hero to you for what they've accomplished. Don't hide behind the PCOS excuse. PCOS, like Type II diabetes, is a symptom of your excess weight, not a cause.

I don't claim to be an authority on that point. My wife is simply obese,
and has been for a long time. She doesn't appear to overeat. Her idea of
a big meal is smaller than mine. She was heavy on or wedding day, but
nothing like now. We thought it was her thyroid, but her thyroxine levels
are normal. She did try a diet for a while, and managed to take a bit off.
She blames a falling-off of hormones. I suspect (from this and other
things) that she wants to be unattractive to me. But we still have a
reasonable marriage, after 35 years.

Claire, do you mind if I spell out the choice implied in the quoted
sentence?
Which is more important to you, your weight or your husband? Get a
professional opinion on how much you can take off, then ask yourself if
your husband is worth the effort. You sound rather like an exchange on our
doorstep a few weeks ago. We had moved into a retirement village. One of
the staff (female) came to our door and commented that I had better start
putting up defences against all the designing widows. I replied that my
wife had better start getting ready to compete. Both together said "No!"
My wife isn't required to compete. If she doesn't try, and I look
elsewhere, it is MY fault. Why? I expect her only to do what is
reasonable, not look like she has come from a concentration camp. I would
ask no more of you.

Doug L.
--
ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets
the credit.
- Emerson.

[Doug Laidlaw]

Put so perfectly, Bill. What makes them stay? Lack of any reason to leave?

Doug L.

Bill in Co. wrote:

In today's "modern" and "so enlightened" society, people leave for ANY reason.***Viva*Le*Age*of*Enlightenment!******Get*r eal.

--
ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it.
- Michel de Montaigne.

[Doug Laidlaw]

Put so perfectly, Bill. What makes them stay? Lack of any reason to leave?

Doug L.

Bill in Co. wrote:

In today's "modern" and "so enlightened" society, people leave for ANY reason.***Viva*Le*Age*of*Enlightenment!******Get*r eal.

--
ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548.
The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it.
- Michel de Montaigne.

[Bill in Co.]

Would be too inconvenient for them at the moment, most likely. Of course,
that can change. But every body of mass has some inertia, ya know.

Doug Laidlaw wrote:

Put so perfectly, Bill. What makes them stay? Lack of any reason to

leave?

Doug L. Bill in Co. wrote:

-- ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548. The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it. - Michel de Montaigne.

[Bill in Co.]

Would be too inconvenient for them at the moment, most likely. Of course,
that can change. But every body of mass has some inertia, ya know.

Doug Laidlaw wrote:

Put so perfectly, Bill. What makes them stay? Lack of any reason to

leave?

Doug L. Bill in Co. wrote:

-- ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548. The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it. - Michel de Montaigne.