Need Help

[Robin]

Hi. My name is Robin and I need someone to talk to about my marriage.
I am considering leaving my husband of 17 years. For the past 2 years or
so, I have not been happy at all. I will try to explain as best I can,
however I am not very good with words. Please excuse the language in some
areas, I have bleeped out most of it...
About 10 years ago he cheated on me. He has yet to admit it, but we all
know it's true. He "suddenly" decided he did not love me anymore. He left
me and Steven(our son, who was 5 at the time) on top of a mountain with no
food or money or phone and no way to go anywhere. He was too busy with his
new bit** to even take me to the grocery store. I am not exaggerating here.
He actually came to pick me up to take me to the store one time and half way
there I said if you don't want to do this then don't...he did a U turn in
the middle of the street and was taking me back home so fast my head was
spinning!! I remember one time standing on the side of the road with him and
crying and begging him to at least tell me why and he had sunglasses on, I
guess to hide is guilty face, and I reached up to move them so he could
LOOK ME IN THE EYES and he jerked away and said "Don't you f***in' touch
me!" in a tone like he was chatting about the weather.
So anyway, now that I sit here thinking of leaving, I can't help but go
back to that day and the casual way he dumped us and wonder why it's so
hard for me to leave.
The problems in our marriage are for one, the cheating. He has not done it
again (that I know of) but he never admitted that he was. That has always
hurt me. And the fact that he has a twin brother that is here ALL THE TIME.
For the past 3 years, this man has come over here every single day. Spent
the whole entire day here watching TV and (btw, they both "dip" snuff)
making awful spitting and hocking noises. Hes disgusting! He doesn't lift
the seat when he pees, and then pees all over the damn floor in the
bathroom. I have said something to my husband about this and he keeps
blowing me off. I guess his brother is more important in his life. There
is more to the story, but this post is already too long
I have already talked to my brother, who lives in Va, and he said I could
come stay with him. Now this would be about 900 miles away, as I live in TN
right now.
If anyone out there can help, or maybe just someone to talk to, please
reply.....as I am at my wit's end! LOL!
Thanks,
Robin

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 14:25:51 GMT, Robin wrote:

If anyone out there can help, or maybe just someone to talk to, please reply.....as I am at my wit's end! LOL!

Hello Robin.

Interesting that you've shown up here, with 'more' information to your
story, after not liking the replies you got in ASD. Wondering why you
haven't clarified your situation with the details you've posted here, over
there after you were asked for clarification.

So, what's up with that?

--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[JWB]

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95D8760D9C32C19599491@130.133.1.4...

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 14:25:51 GMT, Robin wrote:

Hello Robin. Interesting that you've shown up here, with 'more' information to your story, after not liking the replies you got in ASD. Wondering why you haven't clarified your situation with the details you've posted here, over there after you were asked for clarification. So, what's up with that?

I get the feeling we get trolled every now again with a new "trailer park
woman" story.

[Emma Anne]

Robin <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

He actually came to pick me up to take me to the store one time and half way there I said if you don't want to do this then don't...he did a U turn in the middle of the street and was taking me back home so fast my head was spinning!!

That's an interesting tidbit.

[inky]

In article <faKdnWI4hqLpOkfcRVn-hA@comcast.com>, "Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

Hi. My name is Robin and I need someone to talk to about my marriage.I am considering leaving my husband of 17 years. For the past 2 years orso, I have not been happy at all. I will try to explain as best I can,however I am not very good with words. Please excuse the language in someareas, I have bleeped out most of it...About 10 years ago he cheated on me. He has yet to admit it, but we allknow it's true. He "suddenly" decided he did not love me anymore. He leftme and Steven(our son, who was 5 at the time) on top of a mountain with nofood or money or phone and no way to go anywhere. He was too busy with hisnew bit** to even take me to the grocery store. I am not exaggerating here.He actually came to pick me up to take me to the store one time and half waythere I said if you don't want to do this then don't...he did a U turn inthe middle of the street and was taking me back home so fast my head wasspinning!! I remember one time standing on the side of the road with him andcrying and begging him to at least tell me why and he had sunglasses on, Iguess to hide is guilty face, and I reached up to move them so he couldLOOK ME IN THE EYES and he jerked away and said "Don't you f***in' touchme!" in a tone like he was chatting about the weather.So anyway, now that I sit here thinking of leaving, I can't help but goback to that day and the casual way he dumped us and wonder why it's sohard for me to leave.The problems in our marriage are for one, the cheating. He has not done itagain (that I know of) but he never admitted that he was. That has alwayshurt me. And the fact that he has a twin brother that is here ALL THE TIME.For the past 3 years, this man has come over here every single day. Spentthe whole entire day here watching TV and (btw, they both "dip" snuff)making awful spitting and hocking noises. Hes disgusting! He doesn't liftthe seat when he pees, and then pees all over the damn floor in thebathroom. I have said something to my husband about this and he keepsblowing me off. I guess his brother is more important in his life. Thereis more to the story, but this post is already too long I have already talked to my brother, who lives in Va, and he said I couldcome stay with him. Now this would be about 900 miles away, as I live in TNright now.

Will your son be going with you?

[Robin]

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95D8760D9C32C19599491@130.133.1.4...

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 14:25:51 GMT, Robin wrote:

Hello Robin. Interesting that you've shown up here, with 'more' information to your story, after not liking the replies you got in ASD. Wondering why you haven't clarified your situation with the details you've posted here, over there after you were asked for clarification. So, what's up with that?

Nah, not that I didn't like the replies, just the attitudes. Everyone
jumped on me without even asking any questions. I didn't feel the need or
that anyone would have listened had I tried to clarify my situation.
Thanks for following me and asking tho.
Hugs,
Robin

[Robin]

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message
news:3401viF44nkrmU1@individual.net...

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message news:Xns95D8760D9C32C19599491@130.133.1.4...

I get the feeling we get trolled every now again with a new "trailer park woman" story.

S'cuse me? See, that's what I was talking about. Everyone just loves to
jump the band wagon and not even ask the whole story. Thanks for confirming
that for me.
And, BTW..I am not a troll. I am an actual woman with a real problem and I
thought I was speaking (typing) to a few people that were in the same spot I
was in and maybe could offer some advice.
Hugs,
Robin

[Robin]

"Emma Anne" <emma_anne@mac.com> wrote in message
news:1gpv2vv.18dn1ryxd0btsN%emma_anne@mac.com...

Robin <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

That's an interesting tidbit.

What do you mean?

[Robin]

"mL" <inky56@hellokitty.com> wrote in message
news:0dBCd.9307$232.2992@fed1read05...

In article <faKdnWI4hqLpOkfcRVn-hA@comcast.com>, "Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

Will your son be going with you?

I don't think it would be very good to move him in his senior year of High
School. Plus, I will be staying with my brother. I will, however be
sending him money every month and he will be coming to spend the summer with
me.
Thanks
Robin

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:19:40 GMT, Robin wrote:

Thanks for following me and asking tho.

Ah, honey.. don't think so highly of yourself. I have been in and out of
ASD for five years and posting here in ASM for hmmm... over a year, maybe
more.

It is ironic that even when people asked for clarification very little
came. And *nothing* like the story you told her. I can tell ya, if you'd
posted THAT story, the replies *and* attitudes would've been far
different.

--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:21:21 GMT, Robin wrote:

not even ask the whole story.

That's the thing.. people *did* ask for clarification. And there wasn't
much of anything, and certainly not to the detail you've posted here.

And you will find parents that are fighting tooth and nail to have access
to their children get a tad disgusted when they see a parent willing to up
and move 900 miles away from their child, with the thought that well, he's
*almost* grown up.
--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[Robin]

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95D892C61990419599491@130.133.1.4...

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:19:40 GMT, Robin wrote:

Ah, honey.. don't think so highly of yourself. I have been in and out of ASD for five years and posting here in ASM for hmmm... over a year, maybe more. It is ironic that even when people asked for clarification very little came. And *nothing* like the story you told her. I can tell ya, if you'd posted THAT story, the replies *and* attitudes would've been far different.

Could you just please leave me alone? I honestly did not come in here or
the other group to start trouble. I don't want trouble. I have enough on me
right now. Although it may be fun for you, it is not for me. If I ask
nicely, would you leave me alone?
Thank you
Robin

[Robin]

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95D89313835E719599491@130.133.1.4...

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:21:21 GMT, Robin wrote:

That's the thing.. people *did* ask for clarification. And there wasn't much of anything, and certainly not to the detail you've posted here. And you will find parents that are fighting tooth and nail to have access to their children get a tad disgusted when they see a parent willing to up and move 900 miles away from their child, with the thought that well, he's *almost* grown up. --

Please see previous post to you.

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:32:08 GMT, Robin wrote:

If I ask nicely, would you leave me alone?

Usenet tip for ya. You need to thicker skin if you're going to post on
Usenet.

Second tip. Don't like what someone has to say, Killfile is your friend.
Since you're using Outlook Express, there is a killfile option available
to you.
--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[Robin]

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95D894A3A16FC19599491@130.133.1.4...

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:32:08 GMT, Robin wrote:

Usenet tip for ya. You need to thicker skin if you're going to post on Usenet. Second tip. Don't like what someone has to say, Killfile is your friend. Since you're using Outlook Express, there is a killfile option available to you. --

Thanks for the awesome info *honey*. And, I've been posting to various
Usenet groups for about 10 years. I can usually handle snotty people.
However, right now I am not in the best form and I am too tired to do
anything about it. So, you win. Horrah! Don't ya feel great?
Robin

[inky]

In article <HcqdnSoMzrfCcEfcRVn-jg@comcast.com>, "Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

"mL" <inky56@hellokitty.com> wrote in message
Will your son be going with you?I don't think it would be very good to move him in his senior year of HighSchool. Plus, I will be staying with my brother. I will, however besending him money every month and he will be coming to spend the summer withme.

I agree that it may be best he stays in his current home, school,
neighborhood, etc. But i'm concerned about the quality of parenting that his
father would be able to give him in your absence, judging from the description
you've presented.

If there is any way at all that you could remain nearby, i think this would be
best for your son. I speak from experience, having been the one who moved out
when my marriage ended. Financially it was tough, and i had to accept help
from family, but i managed to stay within a few minutes of my sons' home so
that i could continue to co-parent them along with their dad. I did have an
offer to work and live with a married couple in another state until i could
get back on my own, but refused due to the distance from my boys, it just
wasn't an option. To this day, i don't regret my choice in staying near my
sons. I fear that if you move, you may regret it someday. Think about it,
anyway. Good luck.

[JWB]

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:jtOdnVCmgO9scUfcRVn-iQ@comcast.com...

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message news:3401viF44nkrmU1@individual.net...

S'cuse me? See, that's what I was talking about. Everyone just loves to jump the band wagon and not even ask the whole story. Thanks for confirming that for me.

well, let's be honest - he left you at the top of a mountain?? His snuff
dippin' bro comes over every day and they sit on the couch making burping
noises... you almost couldn't make this stuff up!

[Robin]

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message
news:3409v0F46950bU1@individual.net...

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message news:jtOdnVCmgO9scUfcRVn-iQ@comcast.com...

well, let's be honest - he left you at the top of a mountain?? His snuff dippin' bro comes over every day and they sit on the couch making burping noises... you almost couldn't make this stuff up!

ROFLMAO!! You are right. But it is true! They sit there hockin and
spitting all day. Drives me NUTS!! LOL!
Thanks for the laugh...I needed it
Hugs,
Robin

[Robin]

"mL" <inky56@hellokitty.com> wrote in message
news:rlCCd.9312$232.5840@fed1read05...

In article <HcqdnSoMzrfCcEfcRVn-jg@comcast.com>, "Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote:

I agree that it may be best he stays in his current home, school, neighborhood, etc. But i'm concerned about the quality of parenting that his father would be able to give him in your absence, judging from the description you've presented. If there is any way at all that you could remain nearby, i think this would be best for your son. I speak from experience, having been the one who moved out when my marriage ended. Financially it was tough, and i had to accept help from family, but i managed to stay within a few minutes of my sons' home so that i could continue to co-parent them along with their dad. I did have an offer to work and live with a married couple in another state until i could get back on my own, but refused due to the distance from my boys, it just wasn't an option. To this day, i don't regret my choice in staying near my sons. I fear that if you move, you may regret it someday. Think about it, anyway. Good luck.

Thank you for your reply and yes...I will definately think about it. I
still have a few weeks before I absolutely have to make a decision.

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:40:24 GMT, Robin wrote:

Thanks for the awesome info *honey*. And, I've been posting to various Usenet groups for about 10 years. I can usually handle snotty people. However, right now I am not in the best form and I am too tired to do anything about it. So, you win. Horrah! Don't ya feel great? Robin

If you could get your chip off your shoulder, you would see that I wasn't
been all that snotty to you. I even suggested that if you gave the full
information there, that you gave here, that people would've treated you
*much* differently.

And in fact you had several people suggesting ways you might stay in your
son's life, while extricating yourself from your marriage.

Many people in ASD are fighting to either get access to our kids, or
trying to find ways to keep the other parent in our kids lives and that is
certainly a huge hot button issue for many of us.

If you've been in Usenet for 10 years, you should certainly have a thicker
skin by now and know how to use a Killfile.

All that said, it sounds like you're pretty raw right now, so you might
want to tread a little more carefully while wading into the deep end of
the pool. As Yoops said over there.. there is no water in there.

Have you sought out any type of counseling for either yourself or you and
your spouse?
--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[JWB]

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:3-adna4bmu32b0fcRVn-pA@comcast.com...

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message news:3409v0F46950bU1@individual.net...

ROFLMAO!! You are right. But it is true! They sit there hockin and spitting all day. Drives me NUTS!! LOL! Thanks for the laugh...I needed it Hugs, Robin

You need to piss in their snuff, Robin.

[Bill in Co.]

JWB wrote:

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message news:Xns95D8760D9C32C19599491@130.133.1.4...

over

there after you were asked for clarification. So, what's up with that? I get the feeling we get trolled every now again with a new "trailer park woman" story.

ROFL!

[Robin]

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message
news:340ag1F469c30U1@individual.net...

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message news:3-adna4bmu32b0fcRVn-pA@comcast.com...

You need to piss in their snuff, Robin.

OMFG! You are too funny! I've a good mind to do just that! LOL!

[Bill in Co.]

Where is this honey bit coming from??? This must be a meow thingie!

*Calinda* wrote:

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:19:40 GMT, Robin wrote:

Ah, honey.. don't think so highly of yourself. I have been in and out of ASD for five years and posting here in ASM for hmmm... over a year, maybe more. It is ironic that even when people asked for clarification very little came. And *nothing* like the story you told her. I can tell ya, if you'd posted THAT story, the replies *and* attitudes would've been far different. -- Cal~ Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[Robin]

Yea, that's how I took it...

"Bill in Co." <surly1curmudgeon@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:BwCCd.312$Pm6.209@newsread1.news.pas.earthlin k.net...

Where is this honey bit coming from??? This must be a meow thingie! *Calinda* wrote:

[Stephanie]

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:jtOdnVCmgO9scUfcRVn-iQ@comcast.com...

"JWB" <jwb3333__removeme__@excite.com> wrote in message news:3401viF44nkrmU1@individual.net...

park

woman" story. S'cuse me? See, that's what I was talking about. Everyone just loves to jump the band wagon and not even ask the whole story. Thanks for

confirming

that for me. And, BTW..I am not a troll. I am an actual woman with a real problem and

I

thought I was speaking (typing) to a few people that were in the same spot

I

was in and maybe could offer some advice. Hugs, Robin

Can I make a suggestion? Start your own thread. Explain from the beginning
what the problem is and what you hope to achieve. Some people will
categorize you. From others, or even from those who categorize you if you
are willing to listen to the rest, you may get help.

Just a suggestion.

S

[*Calinda*]

On Tue, 04 Jan 2005 19:55:32 GMT, Robin wrote:

Reordered, to keep the actual flow of the conversation, such as it is,
intact:

*Calinda* wrote:

Then Bill says, cuz he just can't help but interject himself into
everything, even if adding nothing to the mix:

"Bill in Co." <surly1curmudgeon@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:BwCCd.312$Pm6.209@newsread1.news.pas.earthlin k.net...
Where is this honey bit coming from??? This must be a meow thingie!

Then, of course, the OP says:

Yea, that's how I took it...

My reply:

Not catty at all, but sarcastic- yes.

To think that someone that's been posting in both groups for a long while
now is actually 'following' her is funny..
--
Cal~

Calinda dot Letter S at Gmail dot com

[Stephanie]

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:MN-dnecEKvXOcUfcRVn-qw@comcast.com...

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message news:Xns95D8760D9C32C19599491@130.133.1.4...

over

there after you were asked for clarification. So, what's up with that? Nah, not that I didn't like the replies, just the attitudes. Everyone jumped on me without even asking any questions. I didn't feel the need or that anyone would have listened had I tried to clarify my situation. Thanks for following me and asking tho.

She did not follow you. She has been here a really long time.

Hugs, Robin

[Stephanie]

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:Nq2dnSo5ksyhckfcRVn-iA@comcast.com...

"*Calinda*" <CalindaDotLetterS@gmailRemove.com> wrote in message news:Xns95D892C61990419599491@130.133.1.4...

of

ASD for five years and posting here in ASM for hmmm... over a year,

maybe

more. It is ironic that even when people asked for clarification very little came. And *nothing* like the story you told her. I can tell ya, if

you'd

posted THAT story, the replies *and* attitudes would've been far different. Could you just please leave me alone? I honestly did not come in here or the other group to start trouble. I don't want trouble. I have enough on

me

right now. Although it may be fun for you, it is not for me. If I ask nicely, would you leave me alone? Thank you Robin

Another suggestion. Anything you do not want on usenet, you leave. The more
you say, the more will be replied.

Just a suggestion.

[Robin]

"Stephanie Stowe" <IwishIcould@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:340asaF452pm9U2@individual.net...

"Robin" <me5@privacy.net> wrote in message news:jtOdnVCmgO9scUfcRVn-iQ@comcast.com...

park

confirming

I

I

Can I make a suggestion? Start your own thread. Explain from the beginning what the problem is and what you hope to achieve. Some people will categorize you. From others, or even from those who categorize you if you are willing to listen to the rest, you may get help. Just a suggestion.

Thanks. But I did start this thread. Ole Calinda hijacked it to badger me.
I will try again tho if you feel it would help.
Thanks,
Robin