Emotional needs

[Tai]

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrncjc2sb.k5e.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

Have you been to a good endocrinologist? You might be testosterone deficient.

I think it's far more likely she's "caring husband" deficient.

Tai

[Tony Miller]

On Thu, 2 Sep 2004 12:08:31 +1000, Tai
<tainuiti@yahoo.com> wrote:

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message news:slrncjc2sb.k5e.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

I think it's far more likely she's "caring husband" deficient.

I have a real problem with this "caring husband" deficit stuff. I just
can't sympathize. I guess it must be a guy thing.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

[Doug Anderson]

Tony Miller <tony@cigardiary.com> writes:

On Thu, 2 Sep 2004 12:08:31 +1000, Tai <tainuiti@yahoo.com> wrote:

I have a real problem with this "caring husband" deficit stuff. I just can't sympathize. I guess it must be a guy thing.

Or maybe just a "Tony" thing.

[Amy Lou]

"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:2pni12Fmi7agU8@uni-berlin.de...

Tony Miller <tony@cigardiary.com> writes:

Or maybe just a "Tony" thing.

I think Tony has a point. Some men do not want to be known as 'caring'. They
want to have an image of 'big tough man'.

Amy

[Tony Miller]

On 01 Sep 2004 20:23:16 -0700, Doug Anderson
<ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote:

Tony Miller <tony@cigardiary.com> writes:

Or maybe just a "Tony" thing.

I said "guy thing". I guess that doesn't apply to you.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

[Seeker]

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrncjd42d.l5s.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

I have a real problem with this "caring husband" deficit stuff. I just can't sympathize. I guess it must be a guy thing.

No, I think it's a Tony thing.

Ted.

[Seeker]

"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:2pni12Fmi7agU8@uni-berlin.de...

Or maybe just a "Tony" thing.

LOL! I shoulda read ahead.

Ted

[Tai]

Tony Miller wrote:

She's feeling lonely and ignored. I believe he is too. Something has to change.

Yes, they both have to make an effort to do what would make the other feel
loved - at the same time. I think they might keep missing each other some
how. It's very hard to tell what Amy's husband might be doing because
whatever it is (if there's anything) Amy doesn't seem to recognise it, or
perhaps not the intention behind it.

Tai

[Tony Miller]

On Thu, 2 Sep 2004 08:27:24 -0500, Seeker
<tedds212removethis@yahoo.com> wrote:

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message news:slrncjd42d.l5s.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

No, I think it's a Tony thing.

No Ted, it's a guy thing. That's probably why you don't get it.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

[Seeker]

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrncjeqc7.opt.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

No Ted, it's a guy thing. That's probably why you don't get it.

I thought you were the one who didn't get it. I do. (Doesn't mean I'm
*good* at it.)

Ted

[Seeker]

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> wrote in message
news:slrncjeqen.opt.tony@home.cigardiary.com...

And I was talking about why I don't "get it". My statement was germaine to the conversation. Please do try and keep up.

And ruin the fun of the confusion? Nah.
I'll try better...

Ted

[Doug Anderson]

"Amy Lou" <amylouisa@bigpond.com> writes:

"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:2pni12Fmi7agU8@uni-berlin.de...

I think Tony has a point. Some men do not want to be known as 'caring'. They want to have an image of 'big tough man'.

Well, I still wouldn't call it a "guy" thing, since I seem to know
plenty of men who are happy to be caring. Though there may be men who
are so insecure in their self image than they are afraid to appear to
be caring. Unfortunate if that is the case.

Doug

[Tony Miller]

On 02 Sep 2004 15:05:20 -0700, Doug Anderson
<ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote:

"Amy Lou" <amylouisa@bigpond.com> writes:

Well, I still wouldn't call it a "guy" thing, since I seem to know plenty of men who are happy to be caring. Though there may be men who

Or they could just be girly men.

are so insecure in their self image than they are afraid to appear to be caring. Unfortunate if that is the case.

Or don't want to look like a girly man.

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

[Michael]

in article slrncjfgpp.q08.tony@home.cigardiary.com, Tony Miller at
tony@cigardiary.com wrote on 9/2/04 7:10 PM:

On 02 Sep 2004 15:05:20 -0700, Doug Anderson <ethelthelogremovethis@yahoo.com> wrote:

Or they could just be girly men.

Or don't want to look like a girly man. -Tony

I'm sure it takes one to know one, princess.

[Amy Lou]

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> >

That's right. He's a guy. His job is to teach self reliance and self sufficiency.

What if I wasn't around anymore and he had to be both mother and father? Do
you think your average bloke would try to be more 'maternal' in those
circumstances?

Amy

[Tony Miller]

On Fri, 03 Sep 2004 08:31:40 GMT, Amy Lou
<amylouisa@bigpond.com> wrote:

"Tony Miller" <tony@cigardiary.com> >

What if I wasn't around anymore and he had to be both mother and father? Do you think your average bloke would try to be more 'maternal' in those circumstances?

No. That's why a child needs both a mother (woman) and a father (man).

-Tony

--
"If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
to fertilize your lawn!"
Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

[Michael]

in article slrncjgqi3.sif.tony@home.cigardiary.com, Tony Miller at
tony@cigardiary.com wrote on 9/3/04 7:00 AM:

On Fri, 03 Sep 2004 08:31:40 GMT, Amy Lou <amylouisa@bigpond.com> wrote:

No. That's why a child needs both a mother (woman) and a father (man). -Tony

You know, it's your job as a *parent* to consider this issue from a
worst-case perspective. Aside from the obvious, what happens if your wife is
killed very suddenly in a car accident, here's another scenario: my brother
has a pre-teen child. His wife has breast cancer. She has to have the
mastectomy, the chemotherapy, and the radiation treatment.

If through that she was to become emotionally unavailable, how do you dust
off that child and tell him/her to suck it up and stop crying? How do you
deal with it yourself, while dealing it with the children?

Parenting is fraught with such possibilities - if people don't have the
emotional tools to be both parents, at least for the times when it's needed
the most, then they ought not to be one.

M.