Wife wants NOT to work

[Ignoramus8917]

Consider this purely hypothetical situation.

After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a
husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want
to work.

The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of
reasons.

What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

This is an "important" issue, although hypothetical.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[_calinda_]

Ignoramus8917 wrote:

What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

Show her my post from yesterday about this issue. Should at least
cause her to think about the consequences a little bit.

Cal~

[_calinda_]

Ignoramus8917 wrote:

What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

Show her my post from yesterday about this issue. Should at least
cause her to think about the consequences a little bit.

Cal~

[Doug Anderson]

Ignoramus8917 <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> writes:

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

I think this is the wrong question.

If what the husband wants is "for the wife to work" then it is none of
his business. What if she has enough wealth of her own already so
that working is unnecessary for her?


The right question to ask is "what does the husband really want" and
"what does the wife really want" and can they figure out a way to both
get it rather than centering their conflict around the subsidiary
issue of "should the wife be working."

[Doug Anderson]

Ignoramus8917 <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> writes:

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

I think this is the wrong question.

If what the husband wants is "for the wife to work" then it is none of
his business. What if she has enough wealth of her own already so
that working is unnecessary for her?


The right question to ask is "what does the husband really want" and
"what does the wife really want" and can they figure out a way to both
get it rather than centering their conflict around the subsidiary
issue of "should the wife be working."

[Caren]

"_calinda_" <calindasinclair@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<c6rj24$fira6$1@ID-178943.news.uni-berlin.de>...

Ignoramus8917 wrote:

Show her my post from yesterday about this issue. Should at least cause her to think about the consequences a little bit. Cal~

Igor, are you tring to make her not work? Do you need the money? Did
you take that new job that was going to be so much money?

[Caren]

"_calinda_" <calindasinclair@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<c6rj24$fira6$1@ID-178943.news.uni-berlin.de>...

Ignoramus8917 wrote:

Show her my post from yesterday about this issue. Should at least cause her to think about the consequences a little bit. Cal~

Igor, are you tring to make her not work? Do you need the money? Did
you take that new job that was going to be so much money?

[Tai]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work.

Why?

Oh wait, this is an hypothetical question!

Hmmmm... I think "why" is still important. Whether it is the wife or husband
if one spouse is really hating their job then they both need to look at why.
Perhaps it's not the working that's the problem but the type of work, or the
environment.

The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

The husband should present his case of all his reasons. The wife should do
the same. If there are financial reasons for the wife having to work they
would trump hers for not working but some compromises could still be
reached. Would she be happier at a different workplace in the same industry?
A different area within the same industry? Perhaps she could change her
career and even go back to school to do this. Maybe all that would be needed
is a few month's vacation and then starting a new job.

Do they plan to have any more children and, if so, would this be a good time
'schedule' (ha!) a pregnancy?

Would the husband mind if the wife dropped her hours but still remained
employable (if that was one of his concerns)? If another of his concerns is
that he would love to give up work too then perhaps they could both go to
part time hours and each spend a greater amount of time at home and caring
for their child.

There are many possibilities but a method is going to be effective only if
both spouses are happy with it.

Tai

[Tai]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work.

Why?

Oh wait, this is an hypothetical question!

Hmmmm... I think "why" is still important. Whether it is the wife or husband
if one spouse is really hating their job then they both need to look at why.
Perhaps it's not the working that's the problem but the type of work, or the
environment.

The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work.

The husband should present his case of all his reasons. The wife should do
the same. If there are financial reasons for the wife having to work they
would trump hers for not working but some compromises could still be
reached. Would she be happier at a different workplace in the same industry?
A different area within the same industry? Perhaps she could change her
career and even go back to school to do this. Maybe all that would be needed
is a few month's vacation and then starting a new job.

Do they plan to have any more children and, if so, would this be a good time
'schedule' (ha!) a pregnancy?

Would the husband mind if the wife dropped her hours but still remained
employable (if that was one of his concerns)? If another of his concerns is
that he would love to give up work too then perhaps they could both go to
part time hours and each spend a greater amount of time at home and caring
for their child.

There are many possibilities but a method is going to be effective only if
both spouses are happy with it.

Tai

[Auntie Em]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work. This is an "important" issue, although hypothetical.

IMHO no one in their right mind "wants" to get up at the crack of dawn,
drive to a stark, cold and sterile environment, deal with other peoples
problems, personalities and emotional issues, and spend god-knows-how-many
hours away from their home and family on a daily basis. I think she is just
showing good sense.

One thing that you need to consider is why you are so adamantly opposed to
it. If it is a money issue then that is an area that needs to be worked on.
If it is an issue of "what will everybody else say" or "women in my familiy
have always worked" or something like than, then you need to look to see if
your own needs aren't being projected on your wife's employment.

In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outside
the home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just think
how much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doing
what a wife is supposed to do.

Em

[Auntie Em]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work. This is an "important" issue, although hypothetical.

IMHO no one in their right mind "wants" to get up at the crack of dawn,
drive to a stark, cold and sterile environment, deal with other peoples
problems, personalities and emotional issues, and spend god-knows-how-many
hours away from their home and family on a daily basis. I think she is just
showing good sense.

One thing that you need to consider is why you are so adamantly opposed to
it. If it is a money issue then that is an area that needs to be worked on.
If it is an issue of "what will everybody else say" or "women in my familiy
have always worked" or something like than, then you need to look to see if
your own needs aren't being projected on your wife's employment.

In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outside
the home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just think
how much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doing
what a wife is supposed to do.

Em

[Doug Anderson]

"Auntie Em" <Auntie Em@thisisfake.com> writes:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

IMHO no one in their right mind "wants" to get up at the crack of dawn, drive to a stark, cold and sterile environment, deal with other peoples problems, personalities and emotional issues, and spend god-knows-how-many hours away from their home and family on a daily basis. I think she is just showing good sense.

Yikes! Is that what this hypothetical women does for work? Maybe she
should just change jobs.

One thing that you need to consider is why you are so adamantly opposed to it. If it is a money issue then that is an area that needs to be worked on. If it is an issue of "what will everybody else say" or "women in my familiy have always worked" or something like than, then you need to look to see if your own needs aren't being projected on your wife's employment. In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outside the home.

Whose grand scheme is that? In that scheme were men "intended" to
work outside the home, but women "intended" to stay home?

Someone forgot to fill some of us in on the scheme.

[Doug Anderson]

"Auntie Em" <Auntie Em@thisisfake.com> writes:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

IMHO no one in their right mind "wants" to get up at the crack of dawn, drive to a stark, cold and sterile environment, deal with other peoples problems, personalities and emotional issues, and spend god-knows-how-many hours away from their home and family on a daily basis. I think she is just showing good sense.

Yikes! Is that what this hypothetical women does for work? Maybe she
should just change jobs.

One thing that you need to consider is why you are so adamantly opposed to it. If it is a money issue then that is an area that needs to be worked on. If it is an issue of "what will everybody else say" or "women in my familiy have always worked" or something like than, then you need to look to see if your own needs aren't being projected on your wife's employment. In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outside the home.

Whose grand scheme is that? In that scheme were men "intended" to
work outside the home, but women "intended" to stay home?

Someone forgot to fill some of us in on the scheme.

[JWB]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work. This is an "important" issue, although hypothetical.

I don't understand why this "wife working or not" is even an issue. If the
family needs the money, then the adults need to work. If the family doesn't
need the money, then perhaps one of them can stay home. That can be
negotiated between the spouses on whose job makes more / best for the family
/ etc. This gender stuff is silly. Spouses should work as a team to make
life easier for the entire family.

[JWB]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net...

Consider this purely hypothetical situation. After birth of a baby, wife wanted to work against insistence of a husband. Finally she found work. Now after 3 years, wife does not want to work. The husband is dead set against her stopping working, for a variety of reasons. What would be an effective way to prevent her from leaving work. This is an "important" issue, although hypothetical.

I don't understand why this "wife working or not" is even an issue. If the
family needs the money, then the adults need to work. If the family doesn't
need the money, then perhaps one of them can stay home. That can be
negotiated between the spouses on whose job makes more / best for the family
/ etc. This gender stuff is silly. Spouses should work as a team to make
life easier for the entire family.

[Ignoramus8917]

In article <3754f0b3.0404291532.32e6cfe5@posting.google.com >, Caren wrote:

"_calinda_" <calindasinclair@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<c6rj24$fira6$1@ID-178943.news.uni-berlin.de>...

Igor, are you tring to make her not work? Do you need the money? Did you take that new job that was going to be so much money?

remember, this was a hypothetical question Carten. No, I did not take
that high paying job.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Ignoramus8917]

In article <3754f0b3.0404291532.32e6cfe5@posting.google.com >, Caren wrote:

"_calinda_" <calindasinclair@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<c6rj24$fira6$1@ID-178943.news.uni-berlin.de>...

Igor, are you tring to make her not work? Do you need the money? Did you take that new job that was going to be so much money?

remember, this was a hypothetical question Carten. No, I did not take
that high paying job.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Ignoramus8917]

As I said, the question was hypothetical, but I thank you and all
others for their thoughtful responses.

i

In article <c6s47c$fbla4$1@ID-123442.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tai wrote:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net

Why? Oh wait, this is an hypothetical question! Hmmmm... I think "why" is still important. Whether it is the wife or husband if one spouse is really hating their job then they both need to look at why. Perhaps it's not the working that's the problem but the type of work, or the environment.

The husband should present his case of all his reasons. The wife should do the same. If there are financial reasons for the wife having to work they would trump hers for not working but some compromises could still be reached. Would she be happier at a different workplace in the same industry? A different area within the same industry? Perhaps she could change her career and even go back to school to do this. Maybe all that would be needed is a few month's vacation and then starting a new job. Do they plan to have any more children and, if so, would this be a good time 'schedule' (ha!) a pregnancy? Would the husband mind if the wife dropped her hours but still remained employable (if that was one of his concerns)? If another of his concerns is that he would love to give up work too then perhaps they could both go to part time hours and each spend a greater amount of time at home and caring for their child. There are many possibilities but a method is going to be effective only if both spouses are happy with it. Tai

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Ignoramus8917]

As I said, the question was hypothetical, but I thank you and all
others for their thoughtful responses.

i

In article <c6s47c$fbla4$1@ID-123442.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tai wrote:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6rhfc$bat$0@pita.alt.net

Why? Oh wait, this is an hypothetical question! Hmmmm... I think "why" is still important. Whether it is the wife or husband if one spouse is really hating their job then they both need to look at why. Perhaps it's not the working that's the problem but the type of work, or the environment.

The husband should present his case of all his reasons. The wife should do the same. If there are financial reasons for the wife having to work they would trump hers for not working but some compromises could still be reached. Would she be happier at a different workplace in the same industry? A different area within the same industry? Perhaps she could change her career and even go back to school to do this. Maybe all that would be needed is a few month's vacation and then starting a new job. Do they plan to have any more children and, if so, would this be a good time 'schedule' (ha!) a pregnancy? Would the husband mind if the wife dropped her hours but still remained employable (if that was one of his concerns)? If another of his concerns is that he would love to give up work too then perhaps they could both go to part time hours and each spend a greater amount of time at home and caring for their child. There are many possibilities but a method is going to be effective only if both spouses are happy with it. Tai

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Tai]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

As I said, the question was hypothetical, but I thank you and all others for their thoughtful responses.

Of course it was.....

And you're very welcome.

Tai

[Tai]

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message
news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

As I said, the question was hypothetical, but I thank you and all others for their thoughtful responses.

Of course it was.....

And you're very welcome.

Tai

[Lauri]

On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:07:14 -0500, "Auntie Em" <Auntie
Em@thisisfake.com> wrote:

In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outsidethe home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just thinkhow much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doingwhat a wife is supposed to do.

Good lord. Staying at home and being a housewife is just about the
most boring thing I've ever done. I've been working full-time for
many years now, and I find myself getting antsy and bored after about
a week of sitting around the house and wiping down the countertops.
Last year on vacation, I found myself wishing I had a math book or
something by mid-week, because my brain felt so lazy.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

[Lauri]

On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:07:14 -0500, "Auntie Em" <Auntie
Em@thisisfake.com> wrote:

In the grand scheme of things, women were never intended to "work" outsidethe home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just thinkhow much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doingwhat a wife is supposed to do.

Good lord. Staying at home and being a housewife is just about the
most boring thing I've ever done. I've been working full-time for
many years now, and I find myself getting antsy and bored after about
a week of sitting around the house and wiping down the countertops.
Last year on vacation, I found myself wishing I had a math book or
something by mid-week, because my brain felt so lazy.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless

[Doug Anderson]

"Tai" <tainuiti@yahoo.com> writes:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

Of course it was.....

OK; now there is an example of good smiley use!

[Doug Anderson]

"Tai" <tainuiti@yahoo.com> writes:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

Of course it was.....

OK; now there is an example of good smiley use!

[Jennifer]

"Lauri" <res0rnlr@spamlessverizon.net> wrote in message
news:8pi3901i4o3oc84q7undk4apbcdqma46ko@4ax.com...

On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:07:14 -0500, "Auntie Em" <Auntie Em@thisisfake.com> wrote:

outside

the home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just

think

how much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doingwhat a wife is supposed to do. Good lord. Staying at home and being a housewife is just about the most boring thing I've ever done.

Oh, wow, I think it's fabulous! I read a bunch of newspapers front to back,
I read lots of books, I visit with friends, I make delicious meals, I
organize the household, I listen to music, I run errands, and sometimes I
just sleep <g>. Seriously, though, I can never understand being bored. How
can anyone ever get bored when the world is full of so many glorious things
to read, hear, see and experience?

Jennifer

[Jennifer]

"Lauri" <res0rnlr@spamlessverizon.net> wrote in message
news:8pi3901i4o3oc84q7undk4apbcdqma46ko@4ax.com...

On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:07:14 -0500, "Auntie Em" <Auntie Em@thisisfake.com> wrote:

outside

the home. It's only normal and natural that she doesn't want to. Just

think

how much nicer your home will be if you have a wife who spends time doingwhat a wife is supposed to do. Good lord. Staying at home and being a housewife is just about the most boring thing I've ever done.

Oh, wow, I think it's fabulous! I read a bunch of newspapers front to back,
I read lots of books, I visit with friends, I make delicious meals, I
organize the household, I listen to music, I run errands, and sometimes I
just sleep <g>. Seriously, though, I can never understand being bored. How
can anyone ever get bored when the world is full of so many glorious things
to read, hear, see and experience?

Jennifer

[Ignoramus17184]

In article <c6shkc$fmej1$1@ID-123442.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tai wrote:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

Of course it was.....

Seriously, it was a hypothetical, but not contrived, question.

And you're very welcome.

Thank you again.

i

Tai

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Ignoramus17184]

In article <c6shkc$fmej1$1@ID-123442.news.uni-berlin.de>, Tai wrote:

"Ignoramus8917" <ignoramus8917@NOSPAM.8917.invalid> wrote in message news:c6sge0$ao4$2@pita.alt.net

Of course it was.....

Seriously, it was a hypothetical, but not contrived, question.

And you're very welcome.

Thank you again.

i

Tai

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
@ @ @ Please forgive my typos as my right hand is injured. @ @ @
char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}"; main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

[Lauri]

On Fri, 30 Apr 2004 05:55:54 -0400, "Jennifer" <JenPam2003@yahoo.com>
wrote:

Oh, wow, I think it's fabulous! I read a bunch of newspapers front to back,I read lots of books, I visit with friends, I make delicious meals, Iorganize the household, I listen to music, I run errands, and sometimes Ijust sleep <g>. Seriously, though, I can never understand being bored. Howcan anyone ever get bored when the world is full of so many glorious thingsto read, hear, see and experience?

Because those interesting things are out in the world, not in the
laundry room or the kitchen. At least that's how I see it.

Lauri in WA

I like my email spamless