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Thread: Dating a minor in Ohio question.

  1. #1

    Default Dating a minor in Ohio question.

    I've read some existing threads on this forum, but I'm still not 100% sure what I need to be thinking.

    I met a girl at a local hang-out and she thought I was 18, and I thought she was 17 at youngest. I do look young (so I've been told), and she does look older (so she's been told).

    We had a great time, really enjoyed the nite, didn't do anything "bad" (no drinking, sex, drugs...) - we are "smarter" than that

    But the fact comes down that she's 15 (you'd never guess if you saw her) and I'm 23. (i know, to be told i look 18 at 23, im doing something right hehe)

    Nevertheless, we talked on the phone for days about if we should date and what people would say and what laws we might be breaking...

    Now I don't need anyone to get on here and tell me I'm a pervert and I need to find another girl. I've been with other girls; this is the first time I've been with a minor. I really love her; you have no idea so if you're going to tell me I don't love her, don't even post. I'm crazy about her.

    Now we're smart enough to know we can't have sex without issues, but we're both ok with waiting.

    But someone who is educated on these matters, could you tell me end results for the following situations:

    A) We date, and go as far as kissing and touching eachother (all over), but not intercourse, and her parents dont know about it THEN find out about it. Or the cops find out about it. What can either party have done to me/us?

    B) We date, and go as far as kidding and touching eachother (all over), but not intercourse, and her parents KNOW about it, but THEN the cops find out. Is there an issue?

    C) We lose control, we have sex, and the cops find out.

    ...or any other situations you think I should know about.

    Please don't cite legal wordings. I really don't follow them all too well. I still don't have a 100% accurate defination of the "age of consent". She'll be 16 soon so if you wanna tell me how different it would be if she was 16, I'd appreciate it.

    I know it seems ... weird. But we do love eachother, and she already talks about wanting to stay with me, and we're both more "nerdy" than drooping bling-bling wearing thugs going thru an indentity crisis. I'd like to try and make this work.

    I know parents on this forum don't know me from atom, but I can assure you I'm not just looking for a ride. We love just talking for hours and we laugh for so long. I don't want to lose this...

    Please help us.

  2. #2
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    1. Prison and sex offender registry
    2. Prision and sex offender registry
    3. Prison and sex offender registry

    (is that clear enough?)

    The legal age of consent in Ohio is 16. That only means that once she reaches the age of consent, then you would not face SEXUAL OFFENSE charges. There are others that you could be at risk of facing, resulting in, once again, jail. You are 23. It doesn't matter if you look like you are 12. She is 15. It doesn't matter is she looks like she is 40. ANY contact that could be construed as sexual (including kissing, hugging, carressing, snuggling, even holding hands) is illegal. If you are so inclined to wait, why are you asking what could happen if you don't? If you "love" her, let her grow up.

    Oh, and FYI, SHE won't face any criminal charges. Only you. If her parents don't want you near their little girl, you better abide by that order. They can get a restraining order. If you break that, you go to jail.
    Last edited by mommyof4; 08-28-2006 at 07:49 AM.
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  3. #3
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    And here is the REALLY fun part.

    The statute of limitations on such acts is YEARS long.

    So lets say you two go out... and stuff happens. But you are young and in love.... well, at least for a while.

    You two have a nasty break up because you said she looked fat in her new pants. She decides that the guy she met on spring break is actually a better prom date because he won't be confused for a teacher.

    and THEN she decides to call the DA to see if she can press charges. Like a bolt from the blue, SHE CAN!!

    Congradulations!! You just put your entire future in the hands of an unstable pre adult!

  4. #4
    kelly abernathy
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    Default find an adult to date not a child

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    I've read some existing threads on this forum, but I'm still not 100% sure what I need to be thinking.

    I met a girl at a local hang-out and she thought I was 18, and I thought she was 17 at youngest. I do look young (so I've been told), and she does look older (so she's been told).

    We had a great time, really enjoyed the nite, didn't do anything "bad" (no drinking, sex, drugs...) - we are "smarter" than that

    But the fact comes down that she's 15 (you'd never guess if you saw her) and I'm 23. (i know, to be told i look 18 at 23, im doing something right hehe)

    Nevertheless, we talked on the phone for days about if we should date and what people would say and what laws we might be breaking...

    Now I don't need anyone to get on here and tell me I'm a pervert and I need to find another girl. I've been with other girls; this is the first time I've been with a minor. I really love her; you have no idea so if you're going to tell me I don't love her, don't even post. I'm crazy about her.

    Now we're smart enough to know we can't have sex without issues, but we're both ok with waiting.

    But someone who is educated on these matters, could you tell me end results for the following situations:

    A) We date, and go as far as kissing and touching eachother (all over), but not intercourse, and her parents dont know about it THEN find out about it. Or the cops find out about it. What can either party have done to me/us?

    B) We date, and go as far as kidding and touching eachother (all over), but not intercourse, and her parents KNOW about it, but THEN the cops find out. Is there an issue?

    C) We lose control, we have sex, and the cops find out.

    ...or any other situations you think I should know about.

    Please don't cite legal wordings. I really don't follow them all too well. I still don't have a 100% accurate defination of the "age of consent". She'll be 16 soon so if you wanna tell me how different it would be if she was 16, I'd appreciate it.

    I know it seems ... weird. But we do love eachother, and she already talks about wanting to stay with me, and we're both more "nerdy" than drooping bling-bling wearing thugs going thru an indentity crisis. I'd like to try and make this work.

    I know parents on this forum don't know me from atom, but I can assure you I'm not just looking for a ride. We love just talking for hours and we laugh for so long. I don't want to lose this...

    Please help us.
    you can help yourself by finding someone your own age, and quit going after children, before you get into serious trouble.
    Last edited by kelly abernathy; 08-28-2006 at 04:14 PM.

  5. #5

    Default

    Hey everyone, thanks for the replies.

    Kelly - I don't "go after" minors, this is the first girl I've ever dated thats <> 1 year of me.

    So if we wanted to try and make this work in time, I guess the best route to take would be the following:

    Wait until she's 16 soon. We can date then, but don't do anything more than hugging and kissing. ... and just see how it goes. Of course, with her guardian's blessing only.

    Is this correct?

    thank you.

  6. #6
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    Just for the record, you only have to commit one murder to be a murderer or molest one child to be a child molester.

    Having said that... hold up partner.

    Sexual contact describes ANYTHING that arouses or stimulates in a sexual way. That would include hugging and kissing.

    That means no touching... through clothing... or any other contact at all.

    Face it... you just entered the priesthood for the next few years. Enjoy.

    ORRRRR... you could just date someone your own age.

  7. #7

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    Then what exactly is this legal age of consent mean? She'll be 16, which is the ohio "age of consent", but what does that open to her?

  8. #8
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    It means you can no longer be charged with statutory rape.

    There are a host of other charges that DO still apply... corruption of a minor, interference of custody...

    and it all gets fun if the parents don't think you are a sweetheart and decide that an 8 year gap is too big and swear out a protective order on you.

  9. #9

    Default

    thanks for your prompt responces cyjeff

    these 'other charges' would only apply if her guardian wasn't alright with me being with her, correct? (when shes 16)

    leave sex out of it for now - i'd like to be able to hug and kiss her when she's 16 if I have her parents blessing. im not looking for a free ride, my friend

    i really want to find a way to make this work out and she's called me like 4 times already wondering if i've figured all this out yet and i haven't...

    would there be an issue with a cop if they saw this kissing? (and she was 16, and i had guardian's permission, and wasn't interfering with her "obeying" her guardian)

  10. #10
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    Default Wich part you did not underestand?

    Hi guys , This is me anni , I had to register againg, since i forgot my password , Anyways , Kid, let me tell u nice and easy ,,,, Statutory rape means the person is less than 16 years old when u had sex with her or him , It means she or him did not have the ability or maturity to say NO and even if he or she did u been older did it anyways , so it is the adul's fault .
    Now another point , it has been told many times in this forum anything that makes u feel good sexually or lets say something that makes you hot ( in case you did not get it ) even if u did not consumate the act it is considered sexual assault to a minor and it means the rest of your life registered as a sex offender , means forget a nice job , a nice future and not only that , think that u wont be able to live in a nice place because someone can destroy ur home any minute since u know people can usually pass anything but sexual offenders have a hard time having a home , a family and not only them but theirs relatives is that what u wat to put up with for the rest of your life?
    Imaging u get older u have kids and they cant have friends because their friend's parents found out u were a sex offender what will happen to them in future?
    Another thing honey if u have anything to do with this girl and something happens believe me they can charge u even after years u ended with her, Lets say u are 28 and she will be 18 "supposely " if she or anyone wants they can report to the autorities and beleve me u can be charged even after years u may not even remember her name by then but honey the system will make sure to refresh your memory , Take it from someone who knows what a mistake can do to a life , and pls listen to all the info u are getting here and act responsible ,,, Till she is 18 no hugging , no kissing , AT ALL not even hot talking lol ....
    Anni

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    these 'other charges' would only apply if her guardian wasn't alright with me being with her, correct? (when shes 16)
    No. Illegal is Illegal even if her parents are okay with it. Parents don't have the ability to give permission to an illegal act.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    leave sex out of it for now - i'd like to be able to hug and kiss her when she's 16 if I have her parents blessing. im not looking for a free ride, my friend
    Get the parent's blessing first.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    would there be an issue with a cop if they saw this kissing? (and she was 16, and i had guardian's permission, and wasn't interfering with her "obeying" her guardian)
    If you are touching her "all over" and anyone sees you, they can turn you in and you go to a place painted in industrial gray with bars and locks.

  12. #12

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    Not trying to sound perverted;

    but is she's 16 and I touch her boob (just using this as an example, don't think badly of me) and a cop sees it...

    according to your responce cyjeff; I get prison?

    If I had the parent/guardian's blessing, and her consent; how is that illegal when she's 16?

    Exactly what is corruption of a minor?

    If I had her parent's blessing, she was 16, and I didn't cause any issues with her obeying her parents -- I'm fine, right?

  13. #13
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    This really isn't hard.

    Her parents don't have the authority to make legal an illegal act. You touching the little girl's boob is illegal. Anyone that sees it or evidence of such an act is bound to report you to law enforcement.

    You are driving by a bank and see it is being robbed. You should call the police even if your money isn't in the bank and you don't know the robbers. Illegal acts are illegal no matter who sees them.

    Hugging, kissing and touching the little girl is illegal... even if her parents rent you the hotel room and hand you the condom on the way to the elevator.

    In fact, if they know of such activity and DON"T report you, they can also be charged.

  14. #14

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    ok so then whats the point of age 16; the age of consent?

    you're confusing me versus what other law websites say

    as far as i understand, as long (in ohio) as the person is 16, theres not a problem with anything all the way up to sex.

    if im wrong, please explain why in detail other than "you'll get this and this charge"... well why? to what law? she's 16.
    Last edited by Yellow Submarine; 09-01-2006 at 12:12 AM.

  15. #15
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    Default the point

    Is that at that age, only the big dreaded "statuatory" charge can not be brought against you (if you hadn't allready had that hot night), but there are a host of others. You now know, so it is up to you, it is russian roulette. You will find yourself chancing any charges. You keep forgetting you allready broke the law when you got hot and heavy. Even if it is o.k with the parents, if you piss them or her off at any time, you will face charges for that one night. It will be like a gun in head relationship, because you know at that age, if you break up, she will be out for blood (or just plain revenge). Are you willing to put your freedom on the line any more than you allready have, knowing that you have allready molested a child, in the eyes of the law?
    Last edited by turbowray; 09-01-2006 at 12:13 AM.

  16. #16

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    love does crazy things to people

    ok so at age 16 i cant get stat rape;

    but what else can I get and why would it apply to me?

    i read on the web the defination of age of consent is the age by one person can give their consent to legally have sex with another

    so if she was 16, told me it's all good, and her parents we're ok with it too, we're alright? thats what these other law sites say

    in what way would the law still be after me for corruption of a minor or anything else?

    or is that only if she turns out hating me and "attacks me"? as long as she or her parents dont do anything against me; i'm alright when she's 16 with her consent yes?

  17. #17
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    Default just a heads up every state is different in sexual laws against minors under 18.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    ok so then whats the point of age 16; the age of consent?

    you're confusing me versus what other law websites say

    as far as i understand, as long (in ohio) as the person is 16, theres not a problem with anything all the way up to sex.

    if im wrong, please explain why in detail other than "you'll get this and this charge"... well why? to what law? she's 16.
    Here is a site that shows some things, but does not go into the details of corruption of minors, interference with parenting,etc. It is not so cut and dry on options to keep someone older than your child away from him/her. Sorry having a hard time getting the link on here.
    Last edited by turbowray; 09-01-2006 at 12:19 AM.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    love does crazy things to people

    ok so at age 16 i cant get stat rape;

    but what else can I get and why would it apply to me?

    i read on the web the defination of age of consent is the age by one person can give their consent to legally have sex with another

    so if she was 16, told me it's all good, and her parents we're ok with it too, we're alright? thats what these other law sites say

    in what way would the law still be after me for corruption of a minor or anything else?

    or is that only if she turns out hating me and "attacks me"? as long as she or her parents dont do anything against me; i'm alright when she's 16 with her consent yes?
    No you wouldn't be o.k just because she was 16 when she got angry, you are allready in trouble for that one night, the only thing keeping you out of jail, is no charges have been pressed yet. She could be 20, and just decide that you knew better, and she didn't and regret what she did, and act THEN on that one night. In other words, her turning 16 will never change what you did prior to that, so you could still be charged with this. I know of the parental law, that IF the parents decided not to be o.k with you, they could get a restraining order against you for being an adult that is trying to interfere with thier new parenting rules (not seeing you anymore). If they are aware of that one night, you could bet your britches, that they would let the judge know this, and get the order, and you would be charged with statuatory rape for what accured that night.

  19. #19

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    ok im not talking about anything prior to that

    im talking anything AFTER she's 16...

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    ok im not talking about anything prior to that

    im talking anything AFTER she's 16...
    Once she turns 18, BEFORE you decide to "touch her boob", go to her father and ask him, "Is it OK if I feel your 16 year old daughter up every now and again?" Once you regain consciousness, it will be pretty easy to figure out if it's OK or not.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    ok so then whats the point of age 16; the age of consent?

    you're confusing me versus what other law websites say

    as far as i understand, as long (in ohio) as the person is 16, theres not a problem with anything all the way up to sex.

    if im wrong, please explain why in detail other than "you'll get this and this charge"... well why? to what law? she's 16.
    I am, quite honestly, amazed that you are this dense.

    I have quoted the law... you ask me if I am sure. I say I am sure.

    You say, well what if I do THIS? Is it okay then? I say no, it is still wrong.

    Nothing you say, no bizarre circumstance, no mitigating set of conditions is going to make this relationship okay. You lose.

    Don't bother asking if she is a one legged desert storm veteran that owns her own alligator farm and her father is a barely conscious carney.

    IT DOESN'T MATTER. YOU ARE WRONG. YOU ARE MOLESTING A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF MAJORITY.

    The really telling part is that while you say you are not a child molester, you sure are doing some heavy rationalization as to why it is okay for a grown man to kiss, hug and grope a child.

    I tell you what. Don't believe us. Don't.

    Walk into your local police department. Ask them if it is okay to touch the breast of a 15 year old girl without parental permission. Then ask them if it is okay ever.

    Hell, I will even drive.

    Just see... if we are wrong, they will tell you. However, I wouldn't plan on having anything else to do that day... you will be there a while.

  22. #22

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    16 year old, cyjeff. not 15. we're talking about age 16.

    in ohio, the age of consent is 16.

    im asking what does age of consent grant her that she doesnt already have at 15, if she's not allowed to kiss me (or i kiss her rather) when she's 16

    you ranted the hell out of me and stated the wrong age; you're dense

  23. #23
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    Default omg

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    16 year old, cyjeff. not 15. we're talking about age 16.

    in ohio, the age of consent is 16.

    im asking what does age of consent grant her that she doesnt already have at 15, if she's not allowed to kiss me (or i kiss her rather) when she's 16

    you ranted the hell out of me and stated the wrong age; you're dense
    Lets try this again, there are two issues here, what happened when she was 15, and what you want to happen when she is 16. I think honestly, if the father refuses to press charges for what you have already done, or doesn't know about it, and doesn't mind you seeing her, after she turns 16, then your safe. Just so you know, if the mom finds out, she can press charges, even if dad says its cool! Have you told the dad what you two HAVE done allready? I don't think so, because he would not be cool with you two being together, if he knew. Why though, knowing that you have allready broken the law, when she was 15, would you take a chance, and not walk away, and thank your lucky stars that you are not in jail now?

  24. #24

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    i didnt go into detail cuz i wanted raw facts

    i work with her dad; and he's cool with me seeing her (just no sex)

    and her dad has custody (parents divorced) so i dont think the mom's opinion even matters?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    i didnt go into detail cuz i wanted raw facts

    i work with her dad; and he's cool with me seeing her (just no sex)

    and her dad has custody (parents divorced) so i dont think the mom's opinion even matters?
    If the mom has any type of visitation or any rights at all (if she pays for cs), then she would have the right to say something. I think that anyone with knowledge of a child being molested, in the eyes of the law, has a legal obligation to say something, it isn't just a point of being a parent. Sorry, I should have mentioned that. Lets say she went to her doctor, and requested birth control, and told him of your relationship, it would be his legal responsibility to contact the authorities on this. I am not being judgmental here, just stateing what I believe are the facts on this issue. You allready know we don't agree with this issue, but that is not why I am here. I still don't understand why you would chance this. Even if the dad is cool with it, if the daughter gets mad at you, she doesn't need dads permission to walk into the police station, and turn you in? It may even go well between the both of you for years, but as I said before, if you ever decided that you didn't want to be with her for the rest of your life, she could hold this over your head to try to get you to stay with her.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    16 year old, cyjeff. not 15. we're talking about age 16.

    in ohio, the age of consent is 16.

    im asking what does age of consent grant her that she doesnt already have at 15, if she's not allowed to kiss me (or i kiss her rather) when she's 16

    you ranted the hell out of me and stated the wrong age; you're dense
    She is 15 right now. That is why I am using 15 as a reference point... anything else is conjecture.

    After all, we have gone from no sex to touching her boob in around 3 days.... I figure we needed to take the bull by the horns.

    And you have heard this from 3 different people. When she turns 16, you can no longer be charged with statutory rape... a really nasty little charge.

    All other charges relating to her "minor" status are still in play until she is 18... because she is a minor.

    And you accidentally ran into a coworkers 15 year old child at a hang out?

    I have to throw the BS flag on that one... how long have you been stalking a coworker's little girl?

  27. #27

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    not nearly as long as you've practiced being a biased *******.

    incase anyone is wondering; things are turning out great with thie relationship; all around

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    not nearly as long as you've practiced being a biased *******.

    incase anyone is wondering; things are turning out great with thie relationship; all around
    FOR NOW. I hope she or he never get angry at you. If they do, pack up for jail. Sorry, but it is the truth. Not being sarcastic, just straight forward on what chances you are taking.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Submarine
    not nearly as long as you've practiced being a biased *******.

    incase anyone is wondering; things are turning out great with thie relationship; all around
    You are 100% correct.

    When it comes to predators stalking and fondling children, I can be a jerk of biblical proportions and could not be more biased against those that prey on kids.

    Of course it is turning out great, you are in charge for the first time in your life. You finally found a "woman" that thinks you actually know what you are talking about and finds you worldly and smart.

    Only because she doesn't know any better.

    But she will... and you will go on to the next child.

    Someday, you will stalk the wrong child or the father will find out how long you have been following his little girl and you will go to prison.

    I look forward to hearing of your conviction.

    I guess I hit a nerve with the realization you were stalking her... huh? Did you not think anyone would put two and two together there?
    Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

    I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

    Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

  30. #30
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    Okay so I'm not yellow submarines girlfriend. I'm a completely different person. But I'm 15, 16 in 2 weeks. And I just fell head over heels for this guy whose 22. Like I just met him and there was that connection. I'm not in love with him. I don't believe in any kind of love when I'm in highschool. Actually I'm not completely sure I believe in love at all. But anyways. Is hanging out with anyone whose 18 or older illegal if my parents are okay? Or is it just once you move forward to kissing and stuff? AND is hugging okay? Or hand holding? I mean. What's the big deal with hugging? Thankss.

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