Opinion Wanted from 2nd Marriage Couples

[Bob Moors]

My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was
having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I
asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?
She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.

Is this normal?

[Seeker]

In article <wJlVa.4214$YN5.5944@sccrnsc01>, Bob Moors
<moorsb1@hotmail.com> wrote:

Is this normal?

I don't know. My wife's brother remained on good terms with his
ex-wife after he divorced her. The whole extended family was on good
terms with both his former and new wife (she brought several grown
children into the marriage.) When he died of a heart attack in his
40's the people who comforted each other most were both widows.

Ted

[Tai]

Bob Moors wrote:

My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

I've only been married once so take that into consideration but I think you
should ask yourself why you think this could be a problem.

On the face of it it seems normal to me especially if their relationship
while parenting their son was cordial but there may be things going on in
your relationship which could counter that view. I can think of as many
benign reasons for your wife wanting to stay in touch with her ex as I can
think of worryng ones.

Tai

[Doug Anderson]

"Bob Moors" <moorsb1@hotmail.com> writes:

My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

Having been married to your wife for 15 years, _you_ ought to know
what is normal for her.

OK, I know you really meant "is this normal for divorced couples who
share a son." But why does the answer to that question matter?

[22Ted]

Bob Moors wrote:

My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose? She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

Sounds healthy.
Cari

--
email:
cari_p at comcast dot net

[Bob Moors]

By Normal I mean, If you ask 100 couples, would you get a majority that
thinks one way or the other.

After her having little contact with her ex over the years and her son is
grown and on his own, I think the issues is odd. I am also seeking the
opinions of people who have gone thru divorce. I think most of the ones who
have replied, this is not the case. I think someone who has been diviorced
is less likely to feel good about the situation.


"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelog@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:rj8yqhx2ku.fsf@noether.uoregon.edu...

"Bob Moors" <moorsb1@hotmail.com> writes:

purpose?

She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal? Having been married to your wife for 15 years, _you_ ought to know what is normal for her. OK, I know you really meant "is this normal for divorced couples who share a son." But why does the answer to that question matter?

[whisper]

My X and I are on good terms.. he still goes hunting with my family ..
attends some family functions.. as we share children.. he will always be a
part of my life.. as far as lunch.. unless there was a specific reason.. I
doubt I would have lunch with him..

my hubby now.. would have no problems with my X and I having lunch..

Kass
"Bob Moors" <moorsb1@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:wJlVa.4214$YN5.5944@sccrnsc01...

My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she was having lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. I asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the

purpose?

She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son. Is this normal?

[whisper]

Why is he asking for trouble by his wife having lunch with her X.. they have
been married for 15 years .. I think she is over him...


Why make trouble where there doesn't seem to be a reason for any? many
people remain friends with their X's

Kass
"Green" <m_o_o_n_l_i_g_h_t___s_e_v_e_r_i_n_a_@_e_a_r_t_h_l _i_n_k_._n_e_t>
wrote in message
news:hXzVa.124475$Io.10623328@newsread2.prod.itd.e arthlink.net...

Is she having lunch with her ex to discuss their son? Personally, I would accept no other reason than that if I was in that situation. I think

you're

asking for trouble if you'd let her do it for no particular reason. Maybe you should try talking to her about it and tell her it concerns you. Just don't attack her on it or you'll probably end up in an argument. IMO, Teresa "Bob Moors" <moorsb1@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:wJlVa.4214$YN5.5944@sccrnsc01...

purpose?

[Tbrghtmn]

Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a good
relationship all this time?

From: "Bob Moors"
My wife and I have been married 15yrs. She told me today that she washaving lunch with her ex husband this week and hoped I did not mind. Iasked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

[Green]

I don't think the person, who asked about this in the first place, would
have asked for opinions about it if they didn't have any reservations. I've
always been one to trust my instincts.


"whisper" <noway@notnow.com> wrote in message
news:aJAVa.230$kL2.40@nwrddc01.gnilink.net...

Why is he asking for trouble by his wife having lunch with her X.. they

have

been married for 15 years .. I think she is over him... Why make trouble where there doesn't seem to be a reason for any? many people remain friends with their X's Kass "Green" <m_o_o_n_l_i_g_h_t___s_e_v_e_r_i_n_a_@_e_a_r_t_h_l _i_n_k_._n_e_t> wrote in message news:hXzVa.124475$Io.10623328@newsread2.prod.itd.e arthlink.net...

would

accept no other reason than that if I was in that situation. I think you're

Maybe

you should try talking to her about it and tell her it concerns you.

Just

don't attack her on it or you'll probably end up in an argument. IMO, Teresa "Bob Moors" <moorsb1@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:wJlVa.4214$YN5.5944@sccrnsc01...

I

asked her, who iniated the meeting, she said she did. What is the purpose?

[Bob Moors]

As I stated earlier

She has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when the
family might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is out
of the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep in
contact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is.


"Tbrghtmn" <tbrghtmn@cs.com> wrote in message
news:20030729194436.14567.00000695@mb-m02.news.cs.com...

Did this just come out of the blue after fifteen years or have they had a

good

relationship all this time?

purpose?

She says she wants to remain friends with the father of her 26yr son.Is this normal?

[22Ted]

Bob Moors wrote:

As I stated earlier She has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when the family might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is out of the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep in contact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is.

It could be a way for her to make sure that she's not missing any
breaking news in her son's life. I don't know if grandkids are in the
picture now, someday, or never, but that alone would seem like a good
enough reason to stay on good terms with the Ex.

"Tbrghtmn" <tbrghtmn@cs.com> wrote in message news:20030729194436.14567.00000695@mb-m02.news.cs.com...

good

purpose?

[Tbrghtmn]

Well I suggest keeping your backbone and making your sentiments very clear to
your wife. I think it's odd.

From: "Bob Moors" moorsb1@hotmail.com
As I stated earlierShe has had little contact over the years with her Ex. Other than when thefamily might get togather for support of her son. Now that her son is outof the state and she has little contact with him, she wants to keep incontact with his father. I'm not sure what her goal is."Tbrghtmn" <tbrghtmn@cs.com> wrote in messagenews:20030729194436.14567.00000695@mb-m02.news.cs.com...

good

purpose?

[keelandra sislack]

tbrghtmn@cs.com (Tbrghtmn) wrote in message news:<20030730174542.20113.00001044@mb-m29.news.cs.com>...

Well I suggest keeping your backbone and making your sentiments very clear to your wife. I think it's odd.

good

purpose?

There is no such thing as normal. I can tell you that when my husband
and I divorced, we met for ice cream every Sunday when he returned our
son. We updated each other with the upcoming week's events and helped
our son transition from mom to dad. As he got older, from time to
time we met for coffee (the 3 of us), went out for breakfast, lunch or
dinner. We have a son in common and respectfully and gently showed as
much love as we could to our son. We were both in other relationships
and my boyfriend at the time was envious of the relationship that I
had. His ex wife was a heinous ***** and he would have given a limb
to have the relationship that I had with my ex. On the other hand, my
ex's girlfriend had a bit more trouble with it. She was jealous. Of
what, I didn't know. I did not want my husband back, I wanted our son
to be with the three of us on occassion. We were and are friends and
our son has benefited from that. Today, as an adult, he often thanks
me for that. I'm sure if we all lived in the same state, we'd
continue to get together. In fact, my current husband likes my ex a
lot. He has stayed at our house twice, when our son graduated from
high school and when he graduated from college. We all had a blast.
His wife was stuffy about it, but hey, you can't please everyone!

From time to time I'll ask my son for his father's address or phone
number to send him or call him with birthday greetings. He usually
gets a big grin and thanks me for caring about his dad. Does it get
any better than that???