Not Alone New York New York

[About to Snap in NY]

OMG, I have just gotten done reading thru a few of the posts on here and man, my husbands ex is NOT the only "B" in the world anymore. LOL

Ive been a CS reciever and never ever was I ever as cranky as my husbands ex wife. I only wanted the lousy $43 a week he was suppose to pay. Not the $321.00 my husband now, pays.

Does anyone know of a site or attorney in NY state where we can find out if there are any caps on child support when both parents are making well over $100,000 a year? (combined). Also, she makes more than he does but, he is still expected to pay half. of extra's (dr bills, dance, baseball) But, when he made more than her, he was expected to pay more than half.

I truley believe that any parent that would argue over visits with non-custodial parents is just being plain stupid. These are children and the person that argues over this just being bitter. "trying to get back at" situations. You know, like the I'll show him or her!! Their just children. Not bargening devises. My husband is never allowed to pick up the children unless its the court approved day. Will not tell him of childrens activity's such as boy scouts or dance recitals. Its been over 8yrs now too. LOL she's just going to die a bitter old woman.

This forum looks like a great one, that I may get answers and are allowed to vent a little. Thanks

[alone]

The non-costodial parent of my child is her father. And, yes I do argue over visitation. This is not to get back at him. This is because he is an abusive nut job. I don't think that my daughter should be any where near him. So please be careful of what you say. There are a lot of different situations that may cause a woman to not want the father to see the child.

[ceara]

You will get the answer to your question. But I doubt that it will be the one you WANT.

1. Nothing about this matter is any of YOUR business. It is between your husband and his ex only.

2. Maybe you are only getting $43/week instead of $321 like his ex does because your ex didn't make over $100K. It doesn't sound like you are OK with the $43/week since you refer to it as "the lousy $43 a week".

3. Expecting your husband to be responsible for the child to the full extent of the law does NOT make mom a b*tch.

4. MOM is not the one arguing about visitation, you and your husband are the ones doing that. She is not trying to stop him from having his court ordered time. That is all she is legally obligated to do.

5. How many times has dad called and ASKED when the children's activities?

It's a little hypocritical to expect mom to give dad "extra" visitation above and beyond what the court order states, while you and hubby are trying to find a way to pay LESS child support then the court ordered don't ya think? If mom did give him "extra time" with the kids, is he going to start giving mom "extra money" for child support?

[About to Snap in NY]

Answers to your Answers,

1. Your hilarious. Must be the mother? None of my business? My husband ASKED me yesterday 5-27-06 to go online and see if I could find anything online? I came across this site, hoping for answers. Plus really thought that it would help vent alot of crap that the woman has put him thru for 8yrs. I see I was mistaken? Is your name Michelle? LOL You dont have a clue on 1/10th of what his ex has put "US" yes, Us thru. All over bitterness. (no, I did not meet my husband while he was still married)

2. My point of bringing up the "lousy" $43 a week was to basicly show that, I didnt *****, argue or complain about it, I just tried to get it. My ex was a dead beat dad. Then when he did finally start paying it, I NEVER took him back to court to get more. The man works construction in a union job in Chicago. I think he could pay much more. My son is 23 now. (just for your FYI) My husband now? NO, does not make $100,000 a year. If you read it properly, the two of them combined, make over $100,000 a year. He's NOT trying to get out of PAYING his share, he's trying to find out if it will ever end? Especially when she does make more than he does. You honestly think its fair, that when she makes a considerable amount more, that he still pays half of all extras? (usually what she's enrolled them in, or taken them to doctors that are not part of our insurance plan)

3.See answer Number 1. I dont think anyone on this site would like to read the page after page of crap that she has done.

4. No, you are correct, Moms NOT arguing. LOL OMG, your just cracking me up the more I read from you. Expaination of what I mean>>> Never once, have the children been allowed to go with him to any family gatherings, shows, ect....In 8 yrs. Any time he asked he was told, no, they have plans already. but, now every single time, its her mothers birthday or sisters, or anything thats going on, she'll have the kids ask if they can go. Oh, it goes on and on...but, you hopefully understand what Im saying? (then again,,your sounding like someone else I know and maybe you wont) I'll give you a better example, if the daughters friends mom was to call up and say, can "H" come over, that would not be any problem at all. Now, If my husband would call and say, hey, can I pick the kids up to go do something she'll tell him no. Do you get it now?

5. How many times has he called and asked? He see's her, 3 times a week. Every Tues, Every other Thurs, and every other weekend. You mean to tell me its OK, to NOT tell him, that they have something going on at school or church or scouts? Lets see, last winter "J" Scout awards banquet, my husband was informed of it because it was his weekend and she was picking him up to take him to it. When my husband said, he wanted to go, she said NO. This was her time with him. Hmmmm Lets see,,,two springs ago "H" dance recital was on a Wed. She actually told him it was in the middle of the afternoon, so he wouldnt be able to attend. When he called his daughter that morning to tell her good luck, "H" says, its at 7:00pm. Now,,,ARE YOU GETTING THE BIG PICTURE HERE. Like Ive said, in previous paragraphs, we do have pages apon pages of these kinds of things. Oh Im sure your going to justify something here though?

6. Stop. Your post is just cracking me up even more. You definetly are the spitting image of what all the bitter ex's are like out there. My God. Get on with your life. I asked one simple question. Were NOT trying to get out of anything. Were not trying to take custody away. Hypocritical? You cant be a hypocrite when at some point I was the reciever of child support. I only mentioned the stupid visits to show one of the things that happens why we feel that she's a very bitter, angry, Yes B most times, woman. The only conversations this woman will even hold, are when she's complaining about something. No, my husband nor I have ever been charged or even accused of abuse. He's Pays every single week, on Fri. He picks them up, every single court ordered day. (just so you dont come up with more stupid excuses for his ex)

I did NOT come on to this site to argue with anyone. My God, I just wanted some answers.

Have a GREAT Memorial Weekend!!

[alone]

[QUOTE=About to Snap in NY]Answers to your Answers,

You definetly are the spitting image of what all the bitter ex's are like out there.

Let me tell you something. Your words are extremely offensive. Myself and my kids have been abused by my ex for 5 years. No, I am not bitter about my daughter visiting him. I am SCARED TO DEATH. So you realy need to stop saying these things.

[About to Snap in NY]

And again!! READ my Post. YOU HAVE REASON. What part are you guys not getting? The ex, in our case HAS NO REASON to be bitter. NEVER ONCE has any hand nor VERBAL abuse been done. I wrote that in my post, that we have never been accused or charged with abuse. He pays, pays on time. Pays alot too. but, thats neithor here nor there. This statement is for any person, that Thinks I would ever stick up for a man that is any kind of abusive. ANYKIND! You have all the rights in the world. But, do you think its fair, when NOTHING has been done to the ex? I'll be the 1st to say, that any states laws suck when it comes to visitation with any sort of abusive non-custodial parent! But, please people, read my posts throughly. Not just bits and pieces.

Im talking TO ALL the woman that just want to be CRABBY, CRANKY B's. Just because they CAN! Its not fair to anyone.

[xena]

OMG, I have just gotten done reading thru a few of the posts on here and man, my husbands ex is NOT the only "B" in the world anymore. LOL

Ive been a CS reciever and never ever was I ever as cranky as my husbands ex wife. I only wanted the lousy $43 a week he was suppose to pay. Not the $321.00 my husband now, pays.

Does anyone know of a site or attorney in NY state where we can find out if there are any caps on child support when both parents are making well over $100,000 a year? (combined). Also, she makes more than he does but, he is still expected to pay half. of extra's (dr bills, dance, baseball) But, when he made more than her, he was expected to pay more than half.

I truley believe that any parent that would argue over visits with non-custodial parents is just being plain stupid. These are children and the person that argues over this just being bitter. "trying to get back at" situations. You know, like the I'll show him or her!! Their just children. Not bargening devises. My husband is never allowed to pick up the children unless its the court approved day. Will not tell him of childrens activity's such as boy scouts or dance recitals. Its been over 8yrs now too. LOL she's just going to die a bitter old woman.

This forum looks like a great one, that I may get answers and are allowed to vent a little. Thanks

To answer your question about caps on CS- no there aren't any caps on the CS that can be ordered. All CS orders are based on each states' CS guidelines. The CS can be modified if needed. For instance in your husband's case: if the order hasn't been modified within the last 2 to 3 yrs and one or both parents' incomes have increased or decreased a modification can be filed. If your state uses both parents' incomes to compute CS and your hubby's income has stayed about the same while ex's income increased your hubby's CS MIGHT decrease slightly. However, before he files for a modification he should run the numbers on a CS calculator to determine if a mod. would raise or lower his CS.

Concerning the problems with wanting more visitaion and being informed of child's activities. As long as his ex is obeying the existing court order the only thing your husband can do is file for a modification of visitation. He can ask for more visits, and even seen some orders that will spell out things like family events, etc. He can also ask that the court order ex to inform him of all activities. Are his kids old enough to be able to keep him informed of thier activities on thier own? Quite often this is a good solution for situations where the CP won't tell the NCP about activities.

I know that alot of people believe that you (as the wife and step mom) should stay out of it, and strictly from a legal standpoint it's true that you don't have any legal rights or standing. However, as a woman who is married to a man who paid CS I know that not only is it very difficult to be uninvolved, your hubby's situation does have an impact on your life.
There is nothing wrong with you being involved and doing reseach for hubby as long as you help and encourage him to obey the court orders for CS and visitation. There is one thing to remember though- if you ever have to testify in court, do NOT use the word WE (it upsets Judges). Instead use the words I, my husband, myhusband's children, etc.

[tina5160]

And again!! READ my Post. YOU HAVE REASON. What part are you guys not getting? The ex, in our case HAS NO REASON to be bitter. NEVER ONCE has any hand nor VERBAL abuse been done. I wrote that in my post, that we have never been accused or charged with abuse. He pays, pays on time. Pays alot too. but, thats neithor here nor there. This statement is for any person, that Thinks I would ever stick up for a man that is any kind of abusive. ANYKIND! You have all the rights in the world. But, do you think its fair, when NOTHING has been done to the ex? I'll be the 1st to say, that any states laws suck when it comes to visitation with any sort of abusive non-custodial parent! But, please people, read my posts throughly. Not just bits and pieces.

Im talking TO ALL the woman that just want to be CRABBY, CRANKY B's. Just because they CAN! Its not fair to anyone.

Ya know your really not helping yourself here. The people that give useful information only do so for respectable and respecting people. If you put yourself in the shoes of your ex, or his ex, maybe you would feel different.

Besides, if he makes so much money, why are you looking at a free advice forum for him? Personally I can't stand it when people who have the means don't use them. Tell hubby if he don't want to shell out the $3000 for a retainer, there are plenty of people on here that could use it. Heck plenty of people all over the world.

[ceara]

Answers to your Answers,

1. Your hilarious. Must be the mother? None of my business? My husband ASKED me yesterday 5-27-06 to go online and see if I could find anything online? I came across this site, hoping for answers. Plus really thought that it would help vent alot of crap that the woman has put him thru for 8yrs. I see I was mistaken? Is your name Michelle? LOL You dont have a clue on 1/10th of what his ex has put "US" yes, Us thru. All over bitterness. (no, I did not meet my husband while he was still married)

Yes I am a mother. No my name is not Michelle. It is Ceara (it's Gaelic and pronounced Kira in English). I never asked if you met him while he was still married because it is irrelevant. Glad you found my answer "amusing", but I don't think the judge would feel the same about your complaints.

2. My point of bringing up the "lousy" $43 a week was to basicly show that, I didnt *****, argue or complain about it, I just tried to get it. My ex was a dead beat dad. Then when he did finally start paying it, I NEVER took him back to court to get more. The man works construction in a union job in Chicago. I think he could pay much more. My son is 23 now. (just for your FYI) My husband now? NO, does not make $100,000 a year. If you read it properly, the two of them combined, make over $100,000 a year. He's NOT trying to get out of PAYING his share, he's trying to find out if it will ever end? Especially when she does make more than he does. You honestly think its fair, that when she makes a considerable amount more, that he still pays half of all extras? (usually what she's enrolled them in, or taken them to doctors that are not part of our insurance plan)

What is your point? Your ex is a deadbeat and didn't pay his child support and you didn't complain about it. Join the club. You want a medal medal of valor for it? Just because you CHOSE not to pursue the matter, it does not make the women that DO chose to hold their exes responsible for whatever their state guidelines allow bitter, mean, uncooperative, *****y, etc. Many people would say that those of us that chose NOT to hold the other parent up to their end of the deal, stupid. Neither assumption is true.

If you feel as though he is paying an unfair amount according to the applicable state guidelines, have him ask for a child support review. If the current amount is out of line with what the law allows, it can be modified. The only way to accomplish this is to go through the court. No amount of "venting" on the internet will change the court order. You did not ask how to modify the support based on a change in circumstance. You inquired about any state cap that could be applied in order to lower the support.

3.See answer Number 1. I dont think anyone on this site would like to read the page after page of crap that she has done.

So you just expect everyone to take you at your word and assume that his ex is a b*tch? Not gonna happen! There are far too many new wives and girlfriends that come here and try to find a way to push the mother out of the equation for no reason other than THEY want to try and have control of a situation that does not LEGALLY have anything at all to do with THEM. I don't remember ANY new wife or girlfriend that has posted a question that started with "My new husband's ex-wife is the GREATEST woman in the world!".

4. No, you are correct, Moms NOT arguing. LOL OMG, your just cracking me up the more I read from you. Explanation of what I mean>>> Never once, have the children been allowed to go with him to any family gatherings, shows, ect....In 8 yrs. Any time he asked he was told, no, they have plans already. but, now every single time, its her mothers birthday or sisters, or anything thats going on, she'll have the kids ask if they can go. Oh, it goes on and on...but, you hopefully understand what Im saying? (then again,,your sounding like someone else I know and maybe you wont) I'll give you a better example, if the daughters friends mom was to call up and say, can "H" come over, that would not be any problem at all. Now, If my husband would call and say, hey, can I pick the kids up to go do something she'll tell him no. Do you get it now?

Get what? Neither one of them is under any obligation to allow the other any time that is not in the court order. If she asks for the kids during his time, he has every right to say no. If he is not happy with what the order allows, petition the court for a modification.

5. How many times has he called and asked? He see's her, 3 times a week. Every Tues, Every other Thurs, and every other weekend. You mean to tell me its OK, to NOT tell him, that they have something going on at school or church or scouts? Lets see, last winter "J" Scout awards banquet, my husband was informed of it because it was his weekend and she was picking him up to take him to it. When my husband said, he wanted to go, she said NO. This was her time with him. Hmmmm Lets see,,,two springs ago "H" dance recital was on a Wed. She actually told him it was in the middle of the afternoon, so he wouldnt be able to attend. When he called his daughter that morning to tell her good luck, "H" says, its at 7:00pm. Now,,,ARE YOU GETTING THE BIG PICTURE HERE. Like Ive said, in previous paragraphs, we do have pages apon pages of these kinds of things. Oh Im sure your going to justify something here though?

If he sees the children 3 times a week and EOWE, why doesn't he just ask them? Is mom ordered by the court to inform dad of these things? If he knows that she has lied in the past, why would he take her word for it now? He has just as much right to get the information directly from the school, dance teacher, boyscout leader, etc., as mom does. Maybe he should go directly to the source and arrange for them to keep him updated directly. I'm not justifying anything that mom may or may not have done. But if the situation isn't working, complaining about it isn't going to change matters. You actually have to take action and DO something about it. Life's not fair, people aren't always nice and the courts can't MAKE them change.

6. Stop. Your post is just cracking me up even more. You definetly are the spitting image of what all the bitter ex's are like out there. My God. Get on with your life. I asked one simple question. Were NOT trying to get out of anything. Were not trying to take custody away. Hypocritical? You cant be a hypocrite when at some point I was the reciever of child support. I only mentioned the stupid visits to show one of the things that happens why we feel that she's a very bitter, angry, Yes B most times, woman. The only conversations this woman will even hold, are when she's complaining about something. No, my husband nor I have ever been charged or even accused of abuse. He's Pays every single week, on Fri. He picks them up, every single court ordered day. (just so you dont come up with more stupid excuses for his ex)

EXCUSE ME?!?!? How in the hell did you come to the conclusion that I am a bitter ex wife? EVERY single answer I gave you was LEGALLY CORRECT. You see, this is a site to post LEGAL questions and in return, receive LEGAL answers. If you want someone to tell you that you are right and mom COULD be nicer, go to Dear Abby or Dr. Phil. If you want to know what can be done to LEGALLY help your situation, don't complain just because the correct answer isn't the one you WANT to hear. I am in no way bitter. I still believe that marrying my ex was the best decision I have ever made. If I hadn't, I would not have the 2 wonderful children that I have today. The second best thing I have ever done was to divorce him. I don't have a clue what he is up to and I don't care. He chose to go on with his life as if his children never existed. Nothing I could do will ever change the kind of person he has become, so why would I want to waste any of my time, effort or money trying to accomplish the impossible? Maybe you should ask yourself why you DO.

I did NOT come on to this site to argue with anyone. My God, I just wanted some answers.

And you have received those answers. Yet you ARE trying to argue with me because you don't LIKE the answers you were given.

Have a GREAT Memorial Weekend!!

[About to Snap in NY]

Ceara (pronounced, KIRA) I have received enough private emails now knowing that, "You", have way too much time on your hands. LOL Anything I say on here, your just going to dispute anyway so, I wont even waste any more time with responces to your responces.

Ive gotten some great information from non-confrontational people. Thank you.

[tina5160]

Ceara (pronounced, KIRA) I have received enough private emails now knowing that, "You", have way too much time on your hands. LOL Anything I say on here, your just going to dispute anyway so, I wont even waste any more time with responces to your responces.

Ive gotten some great information from non-confrontational people. Thank you.

Then why did you come back to even say this. good riddens

[About to Snap in NY]

Then why did you come back to even say this. good riddens

Tina, I was speaking to Ceara!

[ceara]

Tina, I was speaking to Ceara!

And you are trying to accuse ME of being argumentative?