New Yorker article about reunion

[Roberta]

I just got hold of a copy of the New Yorker article about a reunion. What a
contrast to Who's Your Daddy!

I remember one adoptee wrote about it; has anyone else read it? Any comments?

I think I will make a copy of the article before I give back the magazine and
save it for my daughter. I had told her about Who's Your Daddy and she begged
to watch it. Watchng it made her very sad not to know anything about her
birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her (although of course we know the
historical and social situation in Chna). I did try to point out how cartoonish
it was, but seeing the birth mother show up at the end really did her in.

I could have kicked myself for telling her about it and letting her watch.

Roberta
mom to Juliette, 8, adopted from China

[chili_marinade]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Roberta" <robyf@aol.comnojunk>
Newsgroups: alt.adoption
Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 10:41 AM
Subject: New Yorker article about reunion

I just got hold of a copy of the New Yorker article about a reunion. What

a

contrast to Who's Your Daddy! I remember one adoptee wrote about it; has anyone else read it? Any

comments?

I think I will make a copy of the article before I give back the magazine

and

save it for my daughter. I had told her about Who's Your Daddy and she

begged

to watch it.

you let an 8 year old watch a program that had a concept that most adults
found disturbing?

Watchng it made her very sad not to know anything about her birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her (although of course we know

the

historical and social situation in Chna).

and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watch
it? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would also
explain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the first
place.

I did try to point out how cartoonish it was, but seeing the birth mother show up at the end really did her in.

An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish ...
i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed a
desire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensively
inadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ... basically,
you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being adopted
..... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it makes
you feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother .... she gets upset and
you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependence
you have going ... i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and
you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've invested
in her, she's still unhappy and distant ...

I could have kicked myself for telling her about it and letting her watch.

i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!

Roberta mom to Juliette, 8, adopted from China

[Marley Greiner]

"chili_marinade" <chili_marinade@yahoo.ie> wrote in message
news:41de205d$0$3872$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au ...

----- Original Message ----- From: "Roberta" <robyf@aol.comnojunk> Newsgroups: alt.adoption Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 10:41 AM Subject: New Yorker article about reunion

I just got hold of a copy of the New Yorker article about a reunion. What

a

contrast to Who's Your Daddy! I remember one adoptee wrote about it; has anyone else read it? Any

comments?

I think I will make a copy of the article before I give back the magazine

and

save it for my daughter. I had told her about Who's Your Daddy and she

begged

to watch it.

you let an 8 year old watch a program that had a concept that most adults found disturbing?

Watchng it made her very sad not to know anything about her birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her (although of course we know

the

historical and social situation in Chna).

and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watch it? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would also explain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the first place.

I did try to point out how cartoonish it was, but seeing the birth mother show up at the end really did her in.

An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish ... i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed a desire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensively inadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ... basically, you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being adopted .... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it makes you feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother .... she gets upset and you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependence you have going ... i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've invested in her, she's still unhappy and distant ...

I could have kicked myself for telling her about it and letting her watch.

i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!

Roberta mom to Juliette, 8, adopted from China

ANother soppy moo.

Marley

[Julia]

On Fri, 07 Jan 2005 05:53:32 GMT, "Marley Greiner"
<maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net> wrote:

"chili_marinade" <chili_marinade@yahoo.ie> wrote in messagenews:41de205d$0$3872$afc38c87@news.optusnet .com.au...

----- Original Message ----- From: "Roberta" <robyf@aol.comnojunk> Newsgroups: alt.adoption Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 10:41 AM Subject: New Yorker article about reunion

I just got hold of a copy of the New Yorker article about a reunion. What

a

contrast to Who's Your Daddy! I remember one adoptee wrote about it; has anyone else read it? Any

comments?

I think I will make a copy of the article before I give back the magazine

and

save it for my daughter. I had told her about Who's Your Daddy and she

begged

to watch it.

you let an 8 year old watch a program that had a concept that most adults found disturbing?

Watchng it made her very sad not to know anything about her birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her (although of course we know

the

historical and social situation in Chna).

and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watch it? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would also explain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the first place.

I did try to point out how cartoonish it was, but seeing the birth mother show up at the end really did her in.

An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish ... i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed a desire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensively inadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ... basically, you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being adopted .... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it makes you feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother .... she gets upset and you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependence you have going ... i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've invested in her, she's still unhappy and distant ...

I could have kicked myself for telling her about it and letting her watch.

i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!

Roberta mom to Juliette, 8, adopted from China

ANother soppy moo.Marley

Considering the hard facts facing children who have been abandoned I
think Roberta's daughter will likely recover from having watched a
stupid tv show. I won't get to watch it myself but TJs website was
awful enough.

It may be that this experience helps her articulate some of her
sadness. I've watched other adoption reunion shows with my kids,
including Daughter from Denang, and found it helped them talk about a
whole load of issues including how things are the same or different
for them.

Julia

[AdoptaDad]

>Subject: Re: New Yorker article about reunion

From: Julia jurol@nospam.hotmail.comDate: 1/7/2005 4:02 AM Eastern Standard TimeMessage-id: <05jst0p6k2scidvll3pd9nu8edgldbu192@4ax.com>On Fri, 07 Jan 2005 05:53:32 GMT, "Marley Greiner"<maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net> wrote:

"chili_marinade" <chili_marinade@yahoo.ie> wrote in messagenews:41de205d$0$3872$afc38c87@news.optusnet .com.au...

----- Original Message ----- From: "Roberta" <robyf@aol.comnojunk> Newsgroups: alt.adoption Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 10:41 AM Subject: New Yorker article about reunion> I just got hold of a copy of the New Yorker article about a reunion. What a> contrast to Who's Your Daddy!>> I remember one adoptee wrote about it; has anyone else read it? Any comments?>> I think I will make a copy of the article before I give back the magazine and> save it for my daughter. I had told her about Who's Your Daddy and she begged> to watch it. you let an 8 year old watch a program that had a concept that most adults found disturbing?>Watchng it made her very sad not to know anything about her> birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her (although of course we> know the> historical and social situation in Chna). and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watch it? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would also explain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the first place.>I did try to point out how cartoonish> it was, but seeing the birth mother show up at the end really did her in. An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish ... i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed a desire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensively inadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ... basically, you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being adopted .... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it makes you feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother .... she gets upset and you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependence you have going ... i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've invested in her, she's still unhappy and distant ...>> I could have kicked myself for telling her about it and letting her> watch. i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!>> Roberta> mom to Juliette, 8, adopted from China

ANother soppy moo.Marley

Considering the hard facts facing children who have been abandoned Ithink Roberta's daughter will likely recover from having watched astupid tv show. I won't get to watch it myself but TJs website wasawful enough.It may be that this experience helps her articulate some of hersadness. I've watched other adoption reunion shows with my kids,including Daughter from Denang,

An excellent documentary.

and found it helped them talk about a whole load of issues includinghow things are the same or different for them.

On the other hand, your kids won't get the chance to win $100 large.

Dad

[LilMtnCbn]

>Subject: Re: New Yorker article about reunion

From: "chili_marinade" chili_marinade@yahoo.ieDate: 1/6/2005 10:39 PM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <41de205d$0$3872$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>
and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watchit? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would alsoexplain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the firstplace.

Oh dear. A sock. How totally original.

An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish

I bet you never raised an 8-year-old. Or maybe you just never paid attention
to yours.

i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed adesire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensivelyinadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ...

What in the world is wrong with South Park? It's about 8 year olds!


basically,

you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being adopted

Now that's a stretch. Why should she feel "sad" about being adopted?

.... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it makesyou feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother ....

Oh dear. Better being left in a stinking orphanage than being adopted.

she gets upset and

you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependenceyou have going ...

Oh dear.

i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and

you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've investedin her, she's still unhappy and distant ...

Eh, I don't think she'll blame Roby for being abandoned. You think her
daughter will blame her for not leaving her in an orphanage?

i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!

Oh Scarlett, you're so transparent. And stupid.



-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "**** . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

[chili_marinade]

"LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20050107234747.16116.00003202@mb-m02.aol.com...

Subject: Re: New Yorker article about reunionFrom: "chili_marinade" chili_marinade@yahoo.ieDate: 1/6/2005 10:39 PM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <41de205d$0$3872$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>

and you couldn't have figured she would be upset BEFORE you let her watchit? Of course, the historical and social situation in China would alsoexplain why ditzy idiots like you are able to adopt children in the firstplace.

Oh dear. A sock. How totally original.

An 8 year old has a hard time understanding that a cartoon is cartoonish

I bet you never raised an 8-year-old. Or maybe you just never paid

attention

to yours.

A bet you'd lose either way. I've raised 4 8 year olds - the youngest of
whom is now 10, the eldest 15. All of them are very happy living in the
cage in the cellar.

i bet your indignant quasi-concerned intake of breath if she expressed adesire to watch southpark might give you a hint as to how comprehensivelyinadequate your attempts at parental guidance and concern are ...

What in the world is wrong with South Park? It's about 8 year olds!

There's absolutely nothing is wrong with southpark (it's one of my favourite
programs), and it may be about 8 year olds, but it's certainly not
appropriate viewing for 8 year olds. Neither is a program that processes
complex human emotions into easily palatable bites for entertainment. That
people use such programs as a tool for communication with their CHILDREN is,
IMO, a bit sad.

Julia's suggestion that television programs may help children articulate
issues they're coping with may very well be right, but then the one she
suggested was, as Adoptadad pointed out, a documentary, not, as in the case
as Who's your daddy, a overwhelmingly bad example of the modern viewers'
desire for pay-per-vomit human emotion.

basically,

you told her about it because you want her to feel sad about being

adopted

Now that's a stretch. Why should she feel "sad" about being adopted?

Wow, what a question. "Should" feel sad? There's no reason why anyone
"should" feel sad about anything, but given the breadth and depth of human
discourse on human emotion it seems humans do, and as Roberta said in her
post "Watchng it made her [her daughter] very sad not to know anything about
her birthparents or exactly why they abandoned her"

Sorry, but faced with the fact that Roberta, who is obviously intelligent
enough to be deemed a suitable person to adopt a child (and negotiate the
vagaries of an internet connection and associated software), would have been
able to use that intelligence to forsee that her 8 year old (and we're
talking SMALL CHILD here) might find the program somewhat troubling and then
avoid it.

.... if she's sad about it, sad about her parents "abandoning" her, it

makes

you feel more like her saviour, her fairy-godmother .... Oh dear. Better being left in a stinking orphanage than being adopted.

No, better that people pressure their governments to place pressure on China
to improve their human rights record. Better that prospective adopting
parents are psychologically screened and prepared to deal with the breadth
of identity and abandonment issues that their adoptive child WILL manifest
in the years when they will be the formative influence in their child's
life.

she gets upset and

you get to mother her ... what a sickening little vortex of co-dependenceyou have going ...

Oh dear.

If you don't get it, it's not my job to explain it to you.

i'm sure she's gonna thank you for it when she's 18 and

you're left wondering why, what with all the money and time you've

invested

in her, she's still unhappy and distant ... Eh, I don't think she'll blame Roby for being abandoned. You think her daughter will blame her for not leaving her in an orphanage?

I certainly didn't suggest that she'd blame Roberta for anything. I did
suggest though that if she doesn't take more care and understanding with her
daughter she might find herself somewhat bereft when her daughter, after
possibly years of emotional non-connection, plays out her hurt on the only
person available - her adoptive mother. Sad, but true unfortunately.

i hope you kicked yourself hard ... you stupid woman!

Oh Scarlett, you're so transparent. And stupid.

Why?

------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend

will

be sitting next to you saying, "**** . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown