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  • Vermont whining...


    Just need an imaginary shoulder to cry for a moment... today it just
    seems like we will never ever get to the point of adjudication...



    I know that we must be pretty darn close to the beginning of the end,
    with the petition having fallen right behind an adjudicating officer's
    desk on September 10- and yet I swear I am going insane one of these
    days... (sigh).



    Sorry for being such a baby... and thanx for reading



    Rebecca



    (Guess I am just following an old Germanic superstition of taking one's
    worries down on some paper-like material, wrapping it around a stone and
    throwing it in the deepest part of some pond or ocean or whatever... as
    I don't live in any coastal region- and the Rhine having low water at
    the moment- the eternities of the internet must do for me...)


    --
    VSC-Timeline: 06/05/03 NOA 1 ... 06/26/03 RFE ... 07/10/03 Info back at VSC ... 09/19/03 congressman contacted ... (info: on adjudicator's desk since 09/10/03) ... the rest is silence


    Posted via http://britishexpats.com

  • #2
    Vermont whining...


    I am sorry to see you aren't approved yet, but it must be coming soon..
    I have everything crossed for you *hugs*



    I remember when you were exactly a month behind my timescale.. wish you
    had managed to keep it that way



    All the best, will be looking for that celebratory email in the next
    few days !!!



    Lee


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    • #3
      Vermont whining...


      Originally posted by Endymion
      Just need an imaginary shoulder to cry for a moment... today it just seems like we will never ever get to the point of adjudication...

      I know that we must be pretty darn close to the beginning of the end, with the petition having fallen right behind an adjudicating officer's desk on September 10- and yet I swear I am going insane one of these days... (sigh).

      Sorry for being such a baby... and thanx for reading

      Rebecca

      (Guess I am just following an old Germanic superstition of taking one's worries down on some paper-like material, wrapping it around a stone and throwing it in the deepest part of some pond or ocean or whatever... as I don't live in any coastal region- and the Rhine having low water at the moment- the eternities of the internet must do for me...)


      Hi Rebecca,

      You're not a baby, you're having completely normal emotions for someone
      going through waiting that seems endless. We had to wait almost ten
      months for Mr. Pink's divorce to be final before we could even file, and
      now here we are, sitting on Day 127 with NSC, wondering when it will
      ever end. Thanksgiving? nope.....Christmas? maybe......? Valentine's
      Day is the next likely choice. Or not, depending on how things go!



      I remember something that I learned way back in college in some
      psychology class called the "Hawthorne Effect", I think it was. There
      were some experiments conducted that were somehow painful to the
      participants and the gist of the study was, how much pain could someone
      tolerate 1. if they were told it would only last X amount of time vs.
      2. they were told it could go on indefinitely. Not surprisingly, when
      they knew it was going to end in X amount of time, the participants
      rated their pain lower on the scale and also had higher outward
      tolerance of it.



      This whole experience with USCIS and Nebraska makes me think I'm in
      some big Hawthorne Effect experiment, but I'm in the group with no
      end in sight.



      Some days are better than others; today happens to be a low day for me,
      so please excuse my joining in your vent. I do understand how you feel,
      and I'm hoping to see your approval soon.



      ~SecretGarden

      ~and Mr. Pink (Day 127, NSC)

      5/29/03 1st NOA


      --
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      • #4
        Vermont whining...


        Rebecca,

        I know how you feel...I've whined on here quite a few times and didn't
        get yelled at, lol. Look at my timeline. I swear we were the ONLY ones
        going through Vermont who waited that long at the time! Talk about
        frustrating. But you just know that it's near the end, any day you will
        get your approval. Hang in there, dear. We're all rooting for ya

        Clare



        PS: Praying you get yours soon too, Secret Garden


        --
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        • #5
          Vermont whining...

          Rebecca,
          There is nothing practical that you or others can do about it. The only
          thing is to try to be strong for you and for your other half. I find it very
          helpful to discuss with my fiancé any delay or any possible problem. If we
          both understand it, and willing to accept it, then it makes it much more
          easy for us to cope with.
          I am sure that most of the couples that are taking this path, had to conquer
          some obstacles and difficulties during their relationship. It first began by
          not able to meet each other for long periods; everything had to be discussed
          and handled via phone, letters and emails. All the times that we had to say
          "Good Bye" on the airports, being left with a huge question mark above our
          heads about our next meeting. All the moments that you wanted the other to
          be here, next to you, just for a sec... just to be able to give a hug. I
          know one song that says: "I would give a million dollar just to have a cup
          of coffee with you" - and it is so true. All the moments that the other was
          crying on the phone, telling you that they need you; feeling that your heart
          is breaking in microscopic pieces because you cannot be there to calm them,
          to give them a security feeling. For the one telling you " it's ok, you are
          doing it for five years already, you can take it for another six months", I
          think that they don't understand that not every month matters, not every day
          matters, not every minute matters, but every single second matters when you
          are not to the person you love. And the list is long...
          I learned allot from this relationship, about my self and about love and
          appreciation for the other that is willing to give up so much and to suffer
          just because of love. I guess that when you are far away from the person you
          love then you can realize how much you love them and how much you cannot
          live without them.
          For my point of view, we all went throughout so much till now, and we must
          continue to fight for what we believe the most - finally being together and
          this time FOREVER!!!
          And remember: BE STRONG!
          Wish you all the best and good luck with everything.

          Best Regards,
          Stefan


          "Endymion" <[email protected]_expats.com> wrote in message
          news:[email protected]
          Just need an imaginary shoulder to cry for a moment... today it just seems like we will never ever get to the point of adjudication... I know that we must be pretty darn close to the beginning of the end, with the petition having fallen right behind an adjudicating officer's desk on September 10- and yet I swear I am going insane one of these days... (sigh). Sorry for being such a baby... and thanx for reading Rebecca (Guess I am just following an old Germanic superstition of taking one's worries down on some paper-like material, wrapping it around a stone and throwing it in the deepest part of some pond or ocean or whatever... as I don't live in any coastal region- and the Rhine having low water at the moment- the eternities of the internet must do for me...) -- VSC-Timeline: 06/05/03 NOA 1 ... 06/26/03 RFE ... 07/10/03 Info back at
          VSC ... 09/19/03 congressman contacted ... (info: on adjudicator's desk
          since 09/10/03) ... the rest is silence

          Comment


          • #6
            Vermont whining...


            Rebecca,



            I totally understand the frustration of waiting. (((( HUGS ))))



            Rene (day 78 at NVC) <----case in point


            --
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            • #7
              Vermont whining...


              that Hawthorne Effect sounds so right... i remember how painful it was
              to see the months we thought we'd be finished by come and go with no
              news from vermont and the frustration at not knowing if we'd ever get
              approved...



              hang in there rebecca, this too shall pass...

              stay busy, pack everything, ready your packet 3 documents, spend time
              with friends and family to say goodbye....



              i hope your approval is just around the corner.



              sending good vibes your way!


              --
              Posted via http://britishexpats.com

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              • #8
                Vermont whining...


                Hi girl,



                My feelings and toughts are with you,cuz i know exactly how you feel.But
                remember we will see each other somewhere between Andover and
                Leominster..and then hopefuly we will think about these days and ask
                ourselfs "how did we made it" without all the nice people who gave you
                the power ...like you always did for me!


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                • #9
                  Vermont whining...


                  I'm praying that things will get moving for you now.



                  I wish for an approval for you soon.

                  Take care.


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                  • #10
                    Vermont whining...


                    Originally posted by Endymion
                    Just need an imaginary shoulder to cry for a moment... today it just seems like we will never ever get to the point of adjudication...

                    I know that we must be pretty darn close to the beginning of the end, with the petition having fallen right behind an adjudicating officer's desk on September 10- and yet I swear I am going insane one of these days... (sigh).

                    Sorry for being such a baby... and thanx for reading

                    Rebecca

                    (Guess I am just following an old Germanic superstition of taking one's worries down on some paper-like material, wrapping it around a stone and throwing it in the deepest part of some pond or ocean or whatever... as I don't live in any coastal region- and the Rhine having low water at the moment- the eternities of the internet must do for me...)


                    You're not a baby. And the shoulder is not imaginary. I've seen the
                    toughest cookies on the forum post similar things in their darkest
                    hours. Just this morning I was trying to decide between chocolate and
                    whiskey for breakfast .



                    I pray Godspeed for your case.



                    Leslie


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                    • #11
                      Vermont whining...


                      Hi Rebecca,

                      A while ago, I posted a reply to someone who was waiting for his I-129f
                      to be approved at the NSC. Even though you are at the VSC, and even
                      though you are female (I wrote my reply to a male), I thought I would
                      repost this. Hope some of the things in my reply make you feel better.



                      M.U.

                      -//-

                      Originally posted by David9287
                      I can't tell you the nights my girl has spent crying during this process! Myself included!


                      I can certainly appreciate the emotions associated with being away from
                      one’s loved one (I’m going on two years now myself), however I can’t
                      help but wonder if some of the anguish I see reported as being suffered
                      could have been reduced if the petitioner and beneficiary had
                      “realistic” expectations as to the amount of time it will take.



                      A few points to keep in mind.

                      1. Everybody who submits a petition to the BCIS knows they are starting
                      an immigration process that “will” take “some” time.



                      2. Those waiting for the service center part of the job won’t be close
                      to the finish line even when the petition is approved. Granted, its
                      one step in the right direction, however there is still the Consulate
                      to deal with and there are many things that can come into play after
                      the case leaves the Service Center (and which none of us have “any”
                      control over) that can effect the amount of time it will take to get
                      through that part of the process.



                      3. Forget (and tell your fiancée to forget) any and all time estimates
                      you see printed on a receipt notice, hear on any automated phone
                      system, or read on the BCIS status checking page. Those numbers are
                      inaccurate, not binding promises on the BCIS’ part, and are subject
                      to change. Relying on those numbers is a sure way to have
                      “unrealistic” expectations.



                      4. Explain to your fiancée that yes, there are some differences between
                      processing speed at the NSC, TSC, CSC and the VSC, however you live
                      where you live (and chose that location much earlier) for reasons
                      other than immigration processing speed. You don’t love her (or him)
                      any less even though you live within the jurisdiction of the NSC, TSC
                      or CSC (nor is it your fault that there is a disparity in processing
                      times). You can tell her (or him) that “all” of the service centers
                      go through periods of being slow, than fast, than slow, etc. Tell him
                      or her that sometimes there are things that influence this that are
                      even outside the control of the BCIS itself.



                      5. Keep in mind that if you tell your fiancée over and over again
                      things along the lines of “my country is screwing me, betrayed me”,
                      etc., your fiancée might actually believe this is true and it may
                      color her (or his) future stereotype beliefs about her (or his) new
                      home forever. I don’t think most people feed their fiancée’s a bunch
                      of nonsense about how “wonderful” the U.S. is (the streets are “not”
                      paved with gold), and I wouldn’t think feeding her a bunch of
                      negative garbage not based in reality is the way to go either
                      (IMHO). There are still some very wonderful things about America
                      despite your current feelings about your service center’s processing
                      time of I-129f's.



                      6. Don’t dwell on other cases or other service centers. Don’t check the
                      automated phone system every day (I know, that’s a hard one not to
                      do). Don’t fixate on how long it will take or express how miserable
                      you might feel. Wallowing in sorrow is not fun, might add to the
                      sorrow your fiancée is feeling, and won’t do a darn bit of good as
                      far as getting to the end of the process quicker (Wallowing in sorrow
                      might even make it feel longer than if you had approached this with
                      realistic expectations).



                      7. Share with your fiancée the news that there actually “is” a better
                      way to monitor if the case has been taken off of the shelf and given
                      to an officer. Explain how the officer has up to 30 business days (60
                      business days for cases at the NBC-MSC), once you determine a date
                      that you can be reasonable assured the case had been given to the
                      officer (30 business days from the date of publication of a future
                      report), and that you will contact the Service Center immediately to
                      make them aware its “overdue” as per that calculation if it indeed
                      becomes overdue.



                      8. Pray all you want, and cry all you want because you miss each other,
                      but know that praying is not going to get your case approved faster
                      and there is no use adding additional tears about BCIS processing.
                      These things take time. On the bright side, it’s not usually a matter
                      of “whether or not the case will be approved”, but instead a matter
                      of “when it will be approved”. You will only know how long it took
                      once you reach the end.



                      9. Encourage your fiancée to visit friends and family members back home
                      and to do the things back home that she (or he) might end up having
                      nostalgic feelings about one day (once she or he has moved to the
                      U.S.). Tie up all lose ends, make amends with anyone where that is
                      needed. Once your fiancée has entered the U.S. and the honeymoon is
                      over, your fiancée might find herself feeling homesick for some of
                      the aspects of life back in her beloved home country. She should
                      enjoy it now while she can, because one day soon her life in her home
                      country will come to an end and she’ll be starting out fresh with
                      you, living your American Dream.



                      M.U.


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                      • #12
                        Vermont whining...


                        Hey, wow...



                        this is the most real "imaginary shoulder" I can think of !



                        Just wanted to thank all of you for your support- the hugs, good vibes
                        and most of all for the encouragement!



                        Guess this will get me over the next few days / weeks / whatever



                        Thank you tons, guys !!!



                        YOU ROCK !!!


                        --
                        VSC-Timeline: 06/05/03 NOA 1 ... 06/26/03 RFE ... 07/10/03 Info back at VSC ... 09/19/03 congressman contacted ... (info: on adjudicator's desk since 09/10/03) ... the rest is silence


                        Posted via http://britishexpats.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Vermont whining...


                          Originally posted by Endymion
                          Hey, wow...

                          this is the most real "imaginary shoulder" I can think of !

                          Just wanted to thank all of you for your support- the hugs, good vibes and most of all for the encouragement!

                          Guess this will get me over the next few days / weeks / whatever

                          Thank you tons, guys !!!

                          YOU ROCK !!!


                          OMG Rebecca. I just noticed the very bottom of your signature line.
                          Now that's twisted.


                          --
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                          • #14
                            Vermont whining...


                            Originally posted by Leslie66
                            OMG Rebecca. I just noticed the very bottom of your signature line. Now that's twisted.


                            LOL - just getting back to my old shape


                            --
                            VSC-Timeline: 06/05/03 NOA 1 ... 06/26/03 RFE ... 07/10/03 Info back at VSC ... 09/19/03 congressman contacted ... (info: on adjudicator's desk since 09/10/03) ... the rest is silence


                            Posted via http://britishexpats.com

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