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Dad has live in girl friend, I don't want my son staying overnight? Vermont Virginia

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  • Dad has live in girl friend, I don't want my son staying overnight? Vermont Virginia

    I have a 2 months old son by a man that i was never married too and we broke up when i was 3 months pregnant. I did not hear anything from him at all about the baby from Sept. 2009 until the day I was in the hospital to give birth. When my son was born the father showed up at the hospital with his girl friend and it appears they pretty much want to raise my child! I have been very accomodating letting this woman spend time with my child but now the father wants to keep the baby when he is working and allowing his girl friend to keep my son while he is at work. I do not agree with this and I really don't want my son out there over night. I do not think he needs to be in that environment. What are my options? What are the laws on this? Do I need an attorney because I cannot afford one! PLEASE HELP - Virginia
    Last edited by Luvinmyson; 05-05-2010, 08:43 AM.

  • #2
    Is he on the BC?

    Which state do you live in?

    Is there a court order for visitation?

    If there is not court ordered child support, then go to Social Services and they will start a case. You do not have to let him have the child until the Judge places an order. Especially one so young.

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    • #3
      Yes he is in BC and we are in Virginia. We do not have anything filed with the court. I do not mind him keeping the baby, I don't want to keep my son from his dad by any means but I do not want him to stay overnight with her there.

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      • #4
        He is in another country?

        I asked if he is on the Birth Certificate.

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        • #5
          Sorry, yes he in birth cert and we are all in va

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          • #6
            Unless there is court ordered visitation, you do not have to let him go to his fathers. Start the ball rolling.

            For all you know, she will be a great wife, and good for the father and your son. She is still not his mother, and I will not tell you how to act (especially since I do not know anyone personally.)

            Call social services, and make sure that the father is ORDERED to support his son. Be grateful that he seems willing to take an interest in the child, and be there.

            This is not about you or him or even her. It is about making sure the child is supported by his father.

            Best of luck.

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            • #7
              Is it okay for your son to stay with you when/if (assuming there is one) your boyfriend stays over?

              Also, you make the statement "my" child. The term to get used to is "our" child.
              Not everything in America is actionable in a court of law. Please remember that attorneys are in business for profit, and they get paid regardless of whether or not you win or lose.

              I offer my knowledge and experience at no charge, I admit that I am NOT infallible, I am wrong sometimes, hopefully another responder will correct me if that is the case with the answer above, regardless, it is your responsibility to verify any and all information provided.

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              • #8
                Unless you can show that this woman is a danger to your child there is nothing you can do. As stated you do not know how good or bad she is. She might be wonderful with your child. I agree you should get a court order for both visitation and support but dont count on getting visits limited due to Father's GF unless you can "prove" she is a danger to child
                http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

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                • #9
                  I have a 2 months old son by a man that i was never married too and we broke up when i was 3 months pregnant.
                  Umm, you're not exactly in a positiion to criticise his actions when you weren't making good choices yourself. And you don't get to control his life, if he's living with her, that shows some sense of permanency, and unless you can prove that she's a danger, you have to just let it go.

                  You need to get it straight that with two parents that aren't married, you don't get to decide how he parents, who he hangs out with or even what his values are. This is what you CHOSE by getting pregnant with someone you weren't married to and who would dump you when you were pregnant. You've got about 21 more years to live with that decision.
                  I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

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                  • #10
                    Not liking her, or liking the fact that he has someone in his life doesn't qualify as a good reason for your son to not stay with his father.
                    Not everything in America is actionable in a court of law. Please remember that attorneys are in business for profit, and they get paid regardless of whether or not you win or lose.

                    I offer my knowledge and experience at no charge, I admit that I am NOT infallible, I am wrong sometimes, hopefully another responder will correct me if that is the case with the answer above, regardless, it is your responsibility to verify any and all information provided.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Luvinmyson View Post
                      I have a 2 months old son by a man that i was never married too and we broke up when i was 3 months pregnant. I did not hear anything from him at all about the baby from Sept. 2009 until the day I was in the hospital to give birth. When my son was born the father showed up at the hospital with his girl friend and it appears they pretty much want to raise my child! I have been very accomodating letting this woman spend time with my child but now the father wants to keep the baby when he is working and allowing his girl friend to keep my son while he is at work. I do not agree with this and I really don't want my son out there over night. I do not think he needs to be in that environment. What are my options? What are the laws on this? Do I need an attorney because I cannot afford one! PLEASE HELP - Virginia

                      That reminds me of someone, somewhere, on a different message board....

                      ..but although extremely tacky, nowhere near justification to prevent her from being around Dad.

                      What you can do is request ROFR so that when Dad is working, kiddo comes back to you.

                      Expect Dad to fight it.

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                      • #12
                        One of the best things you can do for your child is to find a way to get along with the father and work together as a team in raising this child. Don't put the kid in the middle of adult problems, the adults created the problems and now its time to fix them for the child's sake. Children hate it when their parents can't get along, and believe me, even a small child like yours can sense your animosity when you drop him off or pick him up or the father comes over to get him. You need to grow up some and put that stuff away right now - in the best interests of the child. Your animosity is much more damaging to the kid than the father having a new live in girlfriend.

                        So get over it and start finding ways to make this work. And when you complain about him, remember that this is the person YOU CHOSE to be the father of your SHARED child.
                        I am not an attorney, and don't play one on TV. Any information given is a description only and should be verified by your attorney.

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