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need advise in new york state

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  • need advise in new york state

    i am a divorced mom of 2 kids ages 13 & 16. The 13 yr old has always lived with me but the 16 yr old for the last year has lived with grandma on my ex-husband side. I did this for his comfort as i was in a financial pinch just giving birth to a 3rd child by my current boyfriend. well my finances didn't improve a whole lot in that yr so i decided that my oldest should come & live with me, my boyfriend, and my 13yr and 1yr old. During that time my ex-husband decided that he wantedmy 16 yr old tolive with him in Pennsylvania which I refused.My ex was never there for these kids not financially or emotionally.he has been in drug rehab and even was in a druken stupor when he crashed into a police car-which is still on his records.I have been friends with him for the sake of the kids.I never took him to court for lack of child support cause I was proud to be mom&dad to his kids.Meanwhile he makes over 60k a year and everytime I asked for help on school clothes or something for the kids he always haggled with me.Well,when I was picking up my 16yr old from grandma's so that he could go live with me I found out that my ex had already took him to pennsylvania to live with him.he says that i gave up custody to the child when i left him at his mom's. is this true & is there anything that i could do?or is my son lost to me.

  • #2
    You did not give up custody of the child. You need to go to court in NY and seek a contempt order for him to return the child to you since you never surrendered custody and agreed for the child to temporarily live with Grandma and were never informed the child was being taken out of state until you came to pick up the child. I also suggest that you file parental kidnapping charges with the police in both New York and PA against the father and if your existing court order gives you primary custody of the child, have the order served in PA and go with the PA police authorities to execute the order and return the child to your custody pursuant to the existing custody decree. I advise doign this soon.
    You may need to be persistent with the PA police and may need to file the existing order with a PA court to get an order for its enforcement, but if the present custody decree says you are the parent with primary physical custody and the other parent took the child out of state for residence wihtou your permission and against your wishes, you need to challenge that more aggressively and go out with police to get the child back.


    • #3
      Thank you so much for your answer

      i had given up, to be honest as my ex had told me that a lawyer had advised him that he was in his legal rights to do this. I am so grateful and will be filing papers tomorrow.i am nervous but i will not be beaten...


      • #4
        one problem dont know how it is in pa but in ny if said child is 16 or over. if said child refuses to leave where he is leaving the cops can not remove him unless it is a unsafe place. even if u have custody. ive been thru this twice now. i got my child cuz of this. when we went into court judge didnt want to hear from me he just talked to my daughter then looked over all the evidence i provided and what she said to him and bam i have full custody. i wish you luck with this


        • #5
          yes this could be tricky, my son worships his dad but a teenage boy needs structure and i am hoping that a judge will see that a person who could do this is not the best person as a role model, especially as the boy was not in any immediate danger..he could have let the courts handled this. I thank you for your well wishes though.