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  • Questions/frustration Tpr

    Okay. I will try to keep this as short as possible. Mostly I have a lot of questions that lawyers around here can't seem to answer. I keep getting "cookie cutter" type lawyers here that don't really want to fight or help me understand.
    First, I have a 7 year old son. My XH hasn't seen or tried to see him since he was 6 months old. During the last 6.5 years, my XH (we were only married a little over a year) took off to Calif. then moved back about 5 years ago. I see him everywhere. He is over $20,000 in arrears according to the last audit which was in Oct of 2007. At that same time, he quit his job and became self employed with his g-friend. He was mailed a court order by CSE but no other attempts to contact him by them since. I was told by CSE that Contempt of Court only makes the judge mad and he doesn't want them in his court. (Chuck Weller).
    XH has a website, does commercials, has been on the local news promoting his business, is listed as owner on public records( along with g-friend as co-owner), has his cell phone number listed, his home address listed, and yet the court/CSE can't seem to do anything. They told me that him being self emplyed makes it harder to get CS payments. I asked why he doesn't have a warrant out for his arrest since the law states that $10,000 in arrears is an automatic felony. First I was told by the case worker "we have found that they only go to jail for about 2 hours and it's a lot of paperwork". Then recently I was told that I would have to pursue that myself. What does that mean? I am not an officer or any type of enforcement person. If I get a speeding ticket in Sparks and don't show up for my court date, a warrant is automatically printed and the marshalls actively look for me (this hsan't happened, but I worked for the Police Department for a few years). They again told me I would have to pursue the warrant on my own. ????
    I asked why his already revoked D.L doesn't have a suspension on it from the Family Court. How did he get a Business License anyways?? He doesn't pay taxes..or at least file tax returns, so there is no intercepting that. He has a child with a first wife who is almost 18years old. That mother is usually the one calling the CSE when payments stop. I have never wanted the payments. I feel like it's bad kharma or something, but still it has been my only leverage to one day terminate parental rights. More on that later.
    It seems when I talk to the case worker (when they call back) they get angry at me. Tell me they can only do so much and that they have 300 cases and it's a lot of paperwork. ??? I would happily do the paperwork for them if they would do the legal stuff like license suspensions, send a CSE person to his home, get a warrant and actually arrest him, etc. Why don't these things happen??
    I was also told that CSE doesn't really care about my case since I am NOT on welfare. That they put those cases on welfare on higher priority. I feel like I am in a bad made for t.v. movie.

    Here is what I would really REALLY like to happen. I would LOVE to termiante his parental rights. I want to change my name and my son's name back to my maiden name. I have been afraid to go to court as I have read that the NV Supreme Court has denied termination of parental rights even if all parties are willing to do so based on they want "someone obligated to pay child support". And want me to have someone "waiting in the wings" to marry me and adopt my child. I am happily divorced and have no plans to re-marry. Also, what makes me afraid is that I am told the judge could give XH every other weekend, one month out of the summer, etc. just for showing up to the hearing. That can't happen! He is CRAZY!! Has made threats to have me killed and kidnap my son. Out of spite!!
    Her is my question(s) regarding TPR. If the courts want someone obligated, then why can't one (or all) of my family members legally adopt as guardian. AND, be designated as financially responsible if for some reason I was to need help. I understand they just don't want me on welfare. FINE. GREAT! If I am hit by a car and killed tomorrow, a family member is financially responsible and designated as legal guardian. So, why can't I have that while I am alive? Also, I could adopt a child as a single person, but I can't have my own son?!?
    I would happily forgo child support, I would even give up any arrears owed by him to terminate, but it seems him and I willing isn't enough. The judge still has a say and no case in the state makes me feel better about going forward.
    Also, it seems it's the same process to get my son's name changed to mine as it is to terminate parental rights. They have to notify my XH by local newspaper for 6 weeks. If nothing, then they have to list it at the local post office. Then they will try to reach one of his family members to show up to court. It's crazy!!! They won't tell me anything about him, but if I want to move I have to let HIM know. Really???
    It's hard to convey emotions in writing, but let me just say that I am not bitter, or angry or hateful in any way. I JUST want my son free and clear from my XH. I don't want him to EVER come around and screw up my sons life. We did have visitations in our divorce and he never showed up to a single visit. No one in his family has ever contacted us or anything. They all live close by also. I have had the same email address, physical address, and phone number for over a decade, just so he could never say he tried to contact me and it was changed. I have lived here my whole life!! We have run into each other and he has never said a word to me, he in fact, goes the other way. I don't take that as interest in his son on his part.

    I am looking for a bulldog lawyer to help me out. At least a good lawyer that thinks someone in my family being willing to adopt and be financially resposible makes sense. Doesnt' it??

    Thank you for all of your help.
    Sorry this was so long.

  • #2
    Reputable attorneys do not troll message boards looking for clients, and the board does not provide referrals.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

    Comment


    • #3
      I didn't post on here to find an attorney. My questions are about the CSE enforcement, the warrant, or lack ther of and the termination of parental right and guradianship.

      Comment


      • #4
        I am looking for a bulldog lawyer to help me out. At least a good lawyer that thinks someone in my family being willing to adopt and be financially resposible makes sense

        This suggested that your intent was to locate a lawyer.
        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

        Comment


        • #5
          I can see how that may sound like that if that is the only line read from the posting. It simply means that I am proceeding with looking for a "bull dog" type lawyer..as in information to the reader...not a quest through this website.

          However, I still have the main questions pending. I would appreciate any comments, advice, etc. on the questions in the main post!

          Thank you!

          Comment


          • #6
            Courts like children to have a mother and a father.

            It is very difficult to terminate the rights of a living parent without their approval and/or another adult willing to step up and assume those responsibilities.
            Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

            I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

            Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you . Than is my question. If the father is willing and I have a family member willing to step up and be legal/financial guardian....why won't they do that?? Why does the court make it the "parent"???

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by crazyjoy View Post
                Thank you . Than is my question. If the father is willing and I have a family member willing to step up and be legal/financial guardian....why won't they do that?? Why does the court make it the "parent"???
                Because, essentially, if a court allowed what you are suggesting, then the child's legal parents would be father/grandfather (or uncle/father, brother/father, cousin/father...you get the idea) and you.

                If you want your family members to adopt the child, then BOTH parents would TPR and allow your family members to adopt.

                I do, however, know of ONE case that allowed sort of what you are looking for. However, it was not in NV so it really wouldn't have any bearing on YOUR situation, legally.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  So, if I die tomorrow, and my will shows my sister as legal and financial guardian, would my son think she is his mother? No! So why can't I have that while I am alive? The courts only want someone to be responsible so that I am not on welfare. So why not a guardian? It would not make that person the "father"! It would simply have someone else responsible in place of the biological parent. If I can adopt a child as a sinlge mothr, why can't I have my own son?!?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I do, however, know of ONE case that allowed sort of what you are looking for. However, it was not in NV so it really wouldn't have any bearing on YOUR situation, legally.



                    I would still love to hear about this case!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by crazyjoy View Post
                      So, if I die tomorrow, and my will shows my sister as legal and financial guardian, would my son think she is his mother? No! So why can't I have that while I am alive? The courts only want someone to be responsible so that I am not on welfare. So why not a guardian? It would not make that person the "father"! It would simply have someone else responsible in place of the biological parent. If I can adopt a child as a sinlge mothr, why can't I have my own son?!?
                      Are you asking for the legal answer or the philosophical one?

                      Courts know that all children, at conception, had a mother and a father. Therefore, all children should be equally supported by said mother and father.
                      Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                      I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                      Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I am asking for any and all answers and/or opionions/facts.

                        I understand that theoretically all children biologically have a mother and a father, however it takes more than blood to make you family. It takes more than laws to make you a mother or a father.

                        If the courts only want "support" for the child, than anyone actually willing to support said child should be an option. The courts should NOT say that a biological mother or father gets to legally be the parent even if they don't want to be. If it causes more grief and heartache for the child and a single person can actually be a parent, then it should be an option. I am not saying it should be easy or that any person should be able to have it happen. I am just saying the laws seem quite antiquated. That if a parent is willing to give up their parental rights, and refuse to be supportive of the child financially or otherwise, and someone in the family is willing to step up and legally be "supportive" than what is the problem? Why does a judge get to say no?

                        Thanks again for all the responses.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          New Question-TPR

                          Okay. I have posted that I want very much to terminate the rights of my ex-husband. He has not even tried to see my child since child was 6 months old. It's been 6 and a half years now. Ex lives in same city, has his own business and just re-married last month. There is a hearing to suspend his Bus. lic. coming up and all I want is to terminate rights. I don't want the money, I just want my child. So, the court says even if he shows up willing to terminate, that unless I re-marry AND that person I would marry is willing to adopt my child, they won't terminate as they "want someone to be financially responsible". So, the question is this....if someone in my family. a blood relative, is willing to be legally designated as "financially responsible" (the obligor), will they do that? ALso, if I close the CS case all together upson TPR, does ANYONE need to be designated?

                          Thank you!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by crazyjoy View Post
                            Okay. I have posted that I want very much to terminate the rights of my ex-husband. He has not even tried to see my child since child was 6 months old. It's been 6 and a half years now. Ex lives in same city, has his own business and just re-married last month. There is a hearing to suspend his Bus. lic. coming up and all I want is to terminate rights. I don't want the money, I just want my child. So, the court says even if he shows up willing to terminate, that unless I re-marry AND that person I would marry is willing to adopt my child, they won't terminate as they "want someone to be financially responsible". So, the question is this....if someone in my family. a blood relative, is willing to be legally designated as "financially responsible" (the obligor), will they do that? ALso, if I close the CS case all together upson TPR, does ANYONE need to be designated?

                            Thank you!!!
                            Here's why the parent's rights won't be terminated:

                            You have said you just want to raise your child, you don't want or need his help, etc. The problem is, he is OBLIGATED to be financially responsible. A court will not terminate the father's rights without someone to adopt, because that leaves open the door that if you need to seek financial assistance in the future, the state has no recourse to recoup that money.

                            Most states adoption laws specifically list that a step parent can adopt only if they are currently married to the parent. No one else can adopt if one parent is alive and well and has custody. The court will not appoint someone who is not the parent of the child as being financially responsible, because they are NOT financially responsible. It is not the job of your aunt/uncle/cousin/parent/brother/sister to financially provide for YOUR child. That is solely the job of the PARENTS.

                            It will not be any easier to explain to you child that his father wanted nothing to do with him just because his rights were teminated. That is a separate EMOTIONAL issue you will have to deal with, no matter whether the father's rights are terminated or not. It will not be any easier on your child knowing that his father chose not to be a part of his life just because dad signs off on it legally.

                            Comment

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