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  • Growing number of white parents adopt black babies

    >Subject: Re: Growing number of white parents adopt black babies
    From: "BaD *** Me" [email protected]Date: 12/1/2004 11:11 AM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <[email protected]>
    I curious, and please dont take this the wrong way, doesnt adopting a childof a different race cause problems.
    <snip>

    Im not against
    inter-racial adoptions or anything like that. I only know a couple ofpeople who have done this. One aquantance and one friend. My friend is anexcellant mommy and her boys are lucky.
    Oh dear.

    I am just curious as to the
    differences that the parents and the child face that a same race familyobviously wouldnt. Is this really fair to the child?
    As opposed to never having a family of his/her own and aging out in the foster
    care system? Oh geez, now that's a hard one.


    -------------------------
    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
    be sitting next to you saying, "**** . . . that was fun!"
    -----Unknown

  • #2
    Growing number of white parents adopt black babies


    "LilMtnCbn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    | >Subject: Re: Growing number of white parents adopt black babies
    | >From: "BaD *** Me" [email protected]
    | >Date: 12/1/2004 11:11 AM Mountain Standard Time
    | >Message-id: <[email protected]>
    |
    | >I curious, and please dont take this the wrong way, doesnt adopting a
    child
    | >of a different race cause problems.
    |
    | <snip>
    |
    | Im not against
    | >inter-racial adoptions or anything like that. I only know a couple of
    | >people who have done this. One aquantance and one friend. My friend is
    an
    | >excellant mommy and her boys are lucky.
    |
    | Oh dear.
    |
    | I am just curious as to the
    | >differences that the parents and the child face that a same race family
    | >obviously wouldnt. Is this really fair to the child?
    |
    | As opposed to never having a family of his/her own and aging out in the
    foster
    | care system? Oh geez, now that's a hard one.
    |
    |
    | -------------------------
    | A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend
    will
    | be sitting next to you saying, "**** . . . that was fun!"
    | -----Unknown

    Well, obviously if there is no option other than an interacial adoption or
    sitting in foster care the best interests of the child are quite obvious. I
    was really serious in my questions. This isnt something I have ever thought
    to ask my friend about and it just never came up when talking about her
    boys. I never really gave it much thought before. I am seriously curious
    to hear from people who have experience with interacial adoptions. I dont
    know anything about it but I would think that it would be better if you are
    looking at two appropriately prepared, loving and caring parents that you
    would choose the ones most closely, ethnically matching to the child. I
    know when I chose my daughters parents I purposely sought out a family with
    physical characteristics that matched hers. She is blonde and blue eyed,
    thus I found a family where the mom and other adotped child is also blonde
    and blue eyed, fair skinned etc. This might all sound really stupid since,
    like I already said, I dont know that much about the subject at all. I have
    never ever discussed interacial families with anyone, much less someone who
    ws a part of one. If what I asked is offensive or something then skip the
    post.
    --
    BaD *** Me


    Comment


    • #3
      Growing number of white parents adopt black babies


      "Palms2pines" <[email protected]> wrote in message
      news:[email protected]
      | Bad writes of adopting across racial lines:
      |
      | >Well, obviously if there is no option other than an interacial adoption
      or
      | >sitting in foster care the best interests of the child are quite obvious.
      I
      | >was really serious in my questions. This isnt something I have ever
      thought
      | >to ask my friend about and it just never came up when talking about her
      | >boys. I never really gave it much thought before. I am seriously
      curious
      | >to hear from people who have experience with interacial adoptions. I
      dont
      | >know anything about it but I would think that it would be better if you
      are
      | >looking at two appropriately prepared, loving and caring parents that you
      | >would choose the ones most closely, ethnically matching to the child. I
      | >know when I chose my daughters parents I purposely sought out a family
      with
      | >physical characteristics that matched hers. She is blonde and blue eyed,
      | >thus I found a family where the mom and other adotped child is also
      blonde
      | >and blue eyed, fair skinned etc. This might all sound really stupid
      since,
      | >like I already said, I dont know that much about the subject at all. I
      have
      | >never ever discussed interacial families with anyone, much less someone
      who
      | >ws a part of one. If what I asked is offensive or something then skip
      the
      | >post.
      | >--
      | >BaD *** Me
      | >
      |
      |
      | In a perfect world, Bad, each and every child whose bio parents are
      unwilling
      | or unable to parent has loving people waiting in the wings who also
      closely
      | "match" the family or origin in physical characteristics, ethnicity, etc.
      In
      | the real world, millions of children have lost the opportunity to be
      raised by
      | their families of origin and no closely matching substitutes are waiting
      in the
      | wings. Far better for the children, in my opinion, to be in a loving and
      stable
      | eclectic family than live in an institutional setting with no family at
      all. In
      | fact, those I know who have adopted outside their own races find this to
      be
      | mostly a non-factor. Families are families and looking alike is not
      essential
      | for them to be great.
      |
      |
      | P2P

      Thanks for the answer. I do agree about a family being better than an
      insitution life. I dont care what color/religion or whatever you are. And
      it was stupid on my part not to think about families the way you pointed
      out. Being from a 'step' family and raising one I should have known better
      myself. Sure it would have been ideal if I didnt have a step family but it
      is for the best now and no one really cares who likes like who that much.
      In fact more people say one daughter looks like DH and she isnt bio. his.
      It always tickles us.
      Thanks again for the answer.
      --
      BaD *** Me


      Comment


      • #4
        Growing number of white parents adopt black babies


        "Palms2pines" <[email protected]> wrote in message
        news:[email protected]
        | Bad writes:
        |
        | >Thanks for the answer. I do agree about a family being better than an
        | >insitution life. I dont care what color/religion or whatever you are.
        And
        | >it was stupid on my part not to think about families the way you pointed
        | >out. Being from a 'step' family and raising one I should have known
        better
        | >myself. Sure it would have been ideal if I didnt have a step family but
        it
        | >is for the best now and no one really cares who likes like who that much.
        | >In fact more people say one daughter looks like DH and she isnt bio. his.
        | >It always tickles us.
        | >Thanks again for the answer.
        | >--
        | >BaD *** Me
        |
        |
        | My guess is, Bad, you are in the South. Down yonder (I speak Southern)
        people
        | are much more fearful of diversity. Homogeny is good. Different is
        unsettling.
        | People in the South tend to glom together by color, religion and common
        | languages. Not so to such a degree out of the South. I have been in CA for
        | fourteen years and in Colorado ten before that. People of all sorts, from
        all
        | countries who speak a wide variety of languages, worship a wide variety of
        ways
        | and live a wide variety of lifestyles hang together out here. I love the
        Deep
        | South, having been born in Memphis and raised in Little Rock. But, I don't
        | think I could live there full time. I am continually dismayed when I am
        there
        | by the deep rooted fear of diversity among the masses.Yes, a non-white
        child
        | down there being raised by white parents could very well be an object of
        | curiousity, if not scorn.
        |
        |
        | P2P

        Very observant and yes I am from down yonder.
        --
        BaD *** Me


        Comment


        • #5
          Growing number of white parents adopt black babies


          "Palms2pines" <[email protected]> wrote in message
          news:[email protected]
          | Bad writes:
          |
          | >Thanks for the answer. I do agree about a family being better than an
          | >insitution life. I dont care what color/religion or whatever you are.
          And
          | >it was stupid on my part not to think about families the way you pointed
          | >out. Being from a 'step' family and raising one I should have known
          better
          | >myself. Sure it would have been ideal if I didnt have a step family but
          it
          | >is for the best now and no one really cares who likes like who that much.
          | >In fact more people say one daughter looks like DH and she isnt bio. his.
          | >It always tickles us.
          | >Thanks again for the answer.
          | >--
          | >BaD *** Me
          |
          |
          | My guess is, Bad, you are in the South. Down yonder (I speak Southern)
          people
          | are much more fearful of diversity. Homogeny is good. Different is
          unsettling.
          | People in the South tend to glom together by color, religion and common
          | languages. Not so to such a degree out of the South. I have been in CA for
          | fourteen years and in Colorado ten before that. People of all sorts, from
          all
          | countries who speak a wide variety of languages, worship a wide variety of
          ways
          | and live a wide variety of lifestyles hang together out here. I love the
          Deep
          | South, having been born in Memphis and raised in Little Rock. But, I don't
          | think I could live there full time. I am continually dismayed when I am
          there
          | by the deep rooted fear of diversity among the masses.Yes, a non-white
          child
          | down there being raised by white parents could very well be an object of
          | curiousity, if not scorn.
          |
          |
          | P2P

          Yes I am and yes you are right. Having lived here most of my life I
          sometimes forget that theres a whole different world out there. My sister
          is like you, she cant live here either. Having lived out in Nevada and now
          in Indy she despises home. Im just used to it. I dont want to offend
          anyone or say something wrong but this is just how it is here. I live in a
          really small town but it is like two towns in one. For a long time there
          were even two different mayors. Theres town and then there's (yes I know
          this is bad but everyone calls it this) 'Bucktown'. Each had a mayor of its
          own for a long time. Even now they are two seperate places. Once a year we
          have a celebration like Court Days or Pioneer Fest. where all the merchants
          come out with booths, there are craft booths, food, music, the fire dept has
          a booth. Everyone is there! But about a week prior to our Festival is (I
          cant remember what its called) something similar in Bucktown. They rope the
          road off that leads to it and no one is allowed in. There is a definate
          border there all the time. There are a few bi-racial couples in town but
          its not something that is common. The only Asians here own the Chineese
          rest. The only hispanics show up during tobacco season to cut. They rent
          houses around here and most people dont pay them much mind because everyone
          knows the farmers need the tobacca cut and no one else is gonna work that
          hard. I guess being born here and mostly being here my whole life, I dont
          pay that much attention to things like that. Here an interacial adoption
          would be a big deal to some people. I know growing up darker skinned than
          any other white girl I knew caused me to get a few comments and quesitons
          thrown my way. It still does.
          --
          BaD *** Me


          Comment


          • #6
            Growing number of white parents adopt black babies


            "Palms2pines" <[email protected]> wrote in message
            news:[email protected]
            | Bad writes about the South:
            |
            | >Yes I am and yes you are right. Having lived here most of my life I
            | >sometimes forget that theres a whole different world out there. My
            sister
            | >is like you, she cant live here either. Having lived out in Nevada and
            now
            | >in Indy she despises home. Im just used to it. I dont want to offend
            | >anyone or say something wrong but this is just how it is here. I live in
            a
            | >really small town but it is like two towns in one. For a long time there
            | >were even two different mayors. Theres town and then there's (yes I know
            | >this is bad but everyone calls it this) 'Bucktown'. Each had a mayor of
            its
            | >own for a long time. Even now they are two seperate places. Once a year
            we
            | >have a celebration like Court Days or Pioneer Fest. where all the
            merchants
            | >come out with booths, there are craft booths, food, music, the fire dept
            has
            | >a booth. Everyone is there! But about a week prior to our Festival is
            (I
            | >cant remember what its called) something similar in Bucktown. They rope
            the
            | >road off that leads to it and no one is allowed in. There is a definate
            | >border there all the time. There are a few bi-racial couples in town but
            | >its not something that is common. The only Asians here own the Chineese
            | >rest. The only hispanics show up during tobacco season to cut. They
            rent
            | >houses around here and most people dont pay them much mind because
            everyone
            | >knows the farmers need the tobacca cut and no one else is gonna work that
            | >hard. I guess being born here and mostly being here my whole life, I
            dont
            | >pay that much attention to things like that. Here an interacial adoption
            | >would be a big deal to some people. I know growing up darker skinned
            than
            | >any other white girl I knew caused me to get a few comments and quesitons
            | >thrown my way. It still does.
            | >--
            | >BaD *** Me
            |
            |
            | This makes me sad. People in the South cannot seem to get past (on a large
            | scale) fear of diversity and that stumps me. They like to look around the
            room
            | (or mall or school or church or neighborhood) and see sameness. How
            boring. I
            | would not want my sons to grow up in the lily white ways of the Deep
            South.
            | That is not the real world and children who are raised in the old ways of
            the
            | South grow up to be disadvantaged adults, in my opinion.
            |
            | Thank you, Bad, for your honest assessment. Maybe you can do your part to
            | promote change. Maybe that festival of yours should morph into "Embrace
            | Diversity Day".
            |
            |
            | P2P

            I agree, it is sad to see people so closed minded and missing out on so
            much. Even though my kiddies are homeschooled and im not a big PS fan. It
            is a good thing that our town only has one HS. It does promote diversity
            with the kids. There is no bussing (I dealt with that when I was a kid) or
            my neighborhood school and your neighborhood school. The younger people in
            town are much more open to diversity than the older generation. The
            prejudices still exist but not on the same level or to the same extent.
            The problem is two sided though. The white people here dont want things to
            change and neither do the black. Its like the festival. Its open to anyone
            and everyone. Of course when they have festivities in bucktown the
            neighborhood is blocked off from the rest of the city.
            Eventually things will change and people on both sides of that road block
            will want to cross it. Its up to us, the parents, to make sure that things
            are changing in the hearts and minds of our kids.
            --
            BaD *** Me


            Comment


            • #7
              Adoption period is a problem. Both my parents were adopt them and I watch them suffer everyday. My father was able to find his real parents but my mother is still looking! Now A white family adopted a black baby should be no PROBLEM!! That would be like saying a whire women sleeps with a black man and the baby comes out black.. should she give it to a whole black family no! there is no point to the I HAVE RACISM!
              Desiree AKA Dead_fairy

              Love is the worst part of life.. But I still Love my man

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by dead_fairy88 View Post
                Adoption period is a problem. Both my parents were adopt them and I watch them suffer everyday. My father was able to find his real parents but my mother is still looking! Now A white family adopted a black baby should be no PROBLEM!! That would be like saying a whire women sleeps with a black man and the baby comes out black.. should she give it to a whole black family no! there is no point to the I HAVE RACISM!
                Look at the date of the last post on a thread before you post a reply. This thread is long dead- almost 2 years.

                Comment

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