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  • #61
    To Divorce or Not


    "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in the ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers.
    it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or comes from money.
    I definitely like to argue. I am already married.
    how's that working out for ya?
    What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most
    women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is
    something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So my
    main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue.

    On the marriage front, my main beef is that he is out of town this week. But
    absence makes the heart grow fonder. As nice as it was getting a special
    cuddle from sleeping with my son last night, it is not the same as sleeping
    with DH.


    Comment


    • #62
      To Divorce or Not



      longshot wrote:
      you realize that having kids will have you making the hugest possiblepayments to your future ex-wife for the next 20 years, right?That's not what you should be thinking about. But really, kids bringan amazing amount of stress to a relationship. It might seem better atfirst, but it will *most likely* only get worse. Take it from someonewho did just that... although not on purpose.--Brian your kidding right? most people spend their whole lives working.. why does a person work? for the money. granted I could raise my kids pretty well (financially) if they lived in my house, instead I have to pay for 2 households. see my point, yet?
      Well, for me, to be looking solely at the financial aspect of bringing
      children into a marriage/relationship that is not stable is totally
      missing the point, IMO. What *should* be the reasons for not bringing
      a child into that situation is the emotional turmoil the child will
      <most probably> go through when the divorce finally happens and the
      fact that, with children, you will *still* be tied to the spouse that
      you aren't sure you want to be tied to. For the OP to say 'I can't see
      myself being with her for the rest of my life' and then to say they're
      trying to have a child is contradictory. He *will* be with her in
      one way or another for the rest of his life if they have a child.

      Tracey

      Comment


      • #63
        To Divorce or Not



        longshot wrote:
        you realize that having kids will have you making the hugest possiblepayments to your future ex-wife for the next 20 years, right?That's not what you should be thinking about. But really, kids bringan amazing amount of stress to a relationship. It might seem better atfirst, but it will *most likely* only get worse. Take it from someonewho did just that... although not on purpose.--Brian your kidding right? most people spend their whole lives working.. why does a person work? for the money. granted I could raise my kids pretty well (financially) if they lived in my house, instead I have to pay for 2 households. see my point, yet?
        Well, for me, to be looking solely at the financial aspect of bringing
        children into a marriage/relationship that is not stable is totally
        missing the point, IMO. What *should* be the reasons for not bringing
        a child into that situation is the emotional turmoil the child will
        <most probably> go through when the divorce finally happens and the
        fact that, with children, you will *still* be tied to the spouse that
        you aren't sure you want to be tied to. For the OP to say 'I can't see
        myself being with her for the rest of my life' and then to say they're
        trying to have a child is contradictory. He *will* be with her in
        one way or another for the rest of his life if they have a child.

        Tracey

        Comment


        • #64
          To Divorce or Not

          Stephanie Stowe wrote:
          "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:381bfqF5[email protected]
          I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
          the
          ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers. it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or comes from money.
          I definitely like to argue. I am already married.
          how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So my main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue.
          I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it!
          On the marriage front, my main beef is that he is out of town this week.
          But
          absence makes the heart grow fonder. As nice as it was getting a special cuddle from sleeping with my son last night, it is not the same as
          sleeping
          with DH.

          Comment


          • #65
            To Divorce or Not

            Stephanie Stowe wrote:
            "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
            I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
            the
            ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers. it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or comes from money.
            I definitely like to argue. I am already married.
            how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So my main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue.
            I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it!
            On the marriage front, my main beef is that he is out of town this week.
            But
            absence makes the heart grow fonder. As nice as it was getting a special cuddle from sleeping with my son last night, it is not the same as
            sleeping
            with DH.

            Comment


            • #66
              To Divorce or Not


              "Bill in Co." <[email protected]> wrote in message
              news:[email protected] nk.net...
              Stephanie Stowe wrote:
              "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
              >> I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
              the
              > ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers.> it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or comes from money.> I definitely like to argue. I am already married. how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So my main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue.
              I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it!
              You don't like to argue. You like to complain.
              On the marriage front, my main beef is that he is out of town this week. But
              absence makes the heart grow fonder. As nice as it was getting a special cuddle from sleeping with my son last night, it is not the same as
              sleeping
              with DH.

              Comment


              • #67
                To Divorce or Not


                "Bill in Co." <[email protected]> wrote in message
                news:[email protected] nk.net...
                Stephanie Stowe wrote:
                "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                >> I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
                the
                > ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers.> it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or comes from money.> I definitely like to argue. I am already married. how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So my main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue.
                I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it!
                You don't like to argue. You like to complain.
                On the marriage front, my main beef is that he is out of town this week. But
                absence makes the heart grow fonder. As nice as it was getting a special cuddle from sleeping with my son last night, it is not the same as
                sleeping
                with DH.

                Comment


                • #68
                  To Divorce or Not

                  Stephanie Stowe wrote:
                  "Bill in Co." <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] nk.net...
                  Stephanie Stowe wrote:
                  "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]>>>> I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
                  the
                  >> ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers.>>> it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial> issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or> comes from money.>>> I definitely like to argue. I am already married.>> how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So
                  my
                  main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue. I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it! You don't like to argue. You like to complain.
                  I like to argue and I like to rant. (That's the actual truth).


                  Comment


                  • #69
                    To Divorce or Not

                    Stephanie Stowe wrote:
                    "Bill in Co." <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] nk.net...
                    Stephanie Stowe wrote:
                    "longshot" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]>>>> I just objected to the go live with Mom, live on public assistance in
                    the
                    >> ghetto characterization of divorced stay at home mothers.>>> it really depends on the husband (or ex),, it's clearly about financial> issues unless the women is a professional... IE: Doctor/ lawyer type or> comes from money.>>> I definitely like to argue. I am already married.>> how's that working out for ya? What, arguing or marriage? I come from a flamboyant, vocal family. Most women think I am obnoxious. My husband calls me an honorary man. There is something about my straightforwardness and non-fear of conflict... So
                    my
                    main beef is there are not a lot of people with whom to argue. I like to argue, but I'm not sure you can handle it! You don't like to argue. You like to complain.
                    I like to argue and I like to rant. (That's the actual truth).


                    Comment


                    • #70
                      To Divorce or Not

                      Jason <[email protected]> wrote:


                      (snip)
                      Now 4 years later, I've learned a great deal about who am I as a person. I've gained confidence, knowledge, and a good career. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to grow as a couple and share common interests. I kept thinking to myself that if I gave us enough time, we would gain common interests and keep re-igniting the flame.
                      I think this is fixable. You want to be in love with your W, right? Go
                      to marriagebuilders.com and figure out how to meet each other's
                      emotional needs and avoid love busters.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        To Divorce or Not

                        Jason <[email protected]> wrote:


                        (snip)
                        Now 4 years later, I've learned a great deal about who am I as a person. I've gained confidence, knowledge, and a good career. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to grow as a couple and share common interests. I kept thinking to myself that if I gave us enough time, we would gain common interests and keep re-igniting the flame.
                        I think this is fixable. You want to be in love with your W, right? Go
                        to marriagebuilders.com and figure out how to meet each other's
                        emotional needs and avoid love busters.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          To Divorce or Not


                          If I worked solely for the money, I would have chosen a higher-paying profession. But I work for pleasure too. If I had millions, I'd still do
                          the
                          same work I'm doing now.
                          are you a hooker or a drug dealer?


                          Comment


                          • #73
                            To Divorce or Not


                            If I worked solely for the money, I would have chosen a higher-paying profession. But I work for pleasure too. If I had millions, I'd still do
                            the
                            same work I'm doing now.
                            are you a hooker or a drug dealer?


                            Comment


                            • #74
                              To Divorce or Not

                              'Keep in mind I have a religious family so living together was a no no
                              (which now I realize would of been great to "test" each other).'

                              Actually, studies prove that there is a higher chance of divorce for
                              those who lived together first.

                              But they don't show that living together has any causative effect.

                              Reply : Higher divorce rates have been linked to Shacking Up beforehand
                              ; plus...there are many disadvantages/repercussions to cohabitating ---
                              One only need watch Judge Judy on TV to see that .

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                To Divorce or Not

                                'Keep in mind I have a religious family so living together was a no no
                                (which now I realize would of been great to "test" each other).'

                                Actually, studies prove that there is a higher chance of divorce for
                                those who lived together first.

                                But they don't show that living together has any causative effect.

                                Reply : Higher divorce rates have been linked to Shacking Up beforehand
                                ; plus...there are many disadvantages/repercussions to cohabitating ---
                                One only need watch Judge Judy on TV to see that .

                                Comment

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