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How do I terminate parental rights of my son's father who moved to Hawaii? Maryland

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  • How do I terminate parental rights of my son's father who moved to Hawaii? Maryland

    I divorced my 8 year old son's father back in 2001 because he was abusive to me. I was granted sole custody. He was granted visitation. For the past 7 years, my sons father has lived in Hawaii and shown basically no interest in our son. When he is in town, my son reported witnesses his father physically hurting his paternal grandfather. He has also said his dad has "mental problems" and always yells at his own parents and new wife. In addition, he owes me close to $3500.00 in back child support.

    Long story short, My son no longer wants to see his dad when he's in town (which is all of about 4 times out of the year to visit his new wife and baby that live with his parents in VA. That's right, he left for Hawaii again a week after remarrying!). My son even asked if he could change his last name. Of course I concur with him not seeing his dad after finding all of this out. My son has also reported what he's witnessed to his school counselor and psychologist (who he sees weekly because she said he has been traumatized). My son is on the autism spectrum and is already sensitive to loud voices. His screaming father doesn't help.

    Any idea on how to revoke his parental rights since he lives in Hawaii??

    Thanks!
    Last edited by kattoo13; 10-18-2007, 06:32 AM.

  • #2
    Unless he agrees its an uphill fight. Has he paid any support? Has he seen or called your child if so how many times. Judges are not in the habit of removing parental rights just because custodial parent (you) wants them removed. You might consult with a Family Law Attorney and see what (if any) law(s) might be applied that could grant such a request.
    http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

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    • #3
      he hasn't paid support since may. before may, it had been months as well. hid dad was actually sending in support, but he is having money issues and it's not his responsibility.

      no, he doesn't call our son. he didn't even let him know he was leaving to go back to hawaii. i think he knows he's not good for our son and stays away. he had actually told me he moved to hawaii because he was so devastated i left him. it's his way f coping with things, i guess. this year he has only seen our son about 4 times. he doesn't even have a driver's license because it was revoked by child support enforcement. i just got word yesterday he got a job (which he never keeps), and that his employer has 4-6 weeks to respond to the wage garnishment request.
      Last edited by kattoo13; 10-18-2007, 06:31 AM.

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      • #4
        Havinga judge strip him of his paretal rights is going to be a tough fight. If he wants nothing to do with your son then ask himif he will willingly give up those rights. If he wont the chances of successfully having them removed by a court are slim.
        http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

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        • #5
          ok thanks. luckily my mom works for the montgomery county bar association and knows many lawyers/judges. maybe i could ask her to ask somebody for me.

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          • #6
            Statute: §§5-313; 5-525.1(b)(1)

            Grounds: Abandonment or extreme parental disinterest, abuse/neglect, mental illness or deficiency, alcohol or drug induced incapacity, felony conviction/incarceration, failure of reasonable efforts, sexual abuse, abuse/neglect or loss of rights of another child, failure to maintain contact, failure to provide support, child judged in need of services/dependent, child’s best interest, child in care 15 of 22 months (or less), felony assault of child or sibling, murder/manslaughter of sibling child, child continuously out of parental custody, identity of parent(s) unknown, convicted of crime of violence against other parent.

            Exceptions: State may elect not to file petition if: 1) child being cared for by relative; 2) agency has documented compelling reason why TPR is not in best interest of child; 3) agency has not provided services consistent with time period in case plan that agency deems necessary for safe return of child.
            *************

            Your son doesn't get to decide what he wants his last name to be. He's a child. If dad has paid recent child support (usually the guideline is within 1 year), then its not gonna fly.
            Please no private messages about your situation.

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            • #7
              thanks for all that info! what were you refering to when you said it's not gonna fly because he's paid child support within this year? do you have the link to where you found all that info? i'd like to check it out. yeah, my son just mentioned the name change thing. i already explained to him the process. my friend actually went through it when she changed her babies name..
              Last edited by kattoo13; 10-18-2007, 06:52 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by kattoo13 View Post
                ok thanks. luckily my mom works for the montgomery county bar association and knows many lawyers/judges. maybe i could ask her to ask somebody for me.
                Do you have a spouse that is willing to adopt? Are you very well off so that the state will not have to consider the possibility of your needing state assistance in the next 5 years?

                If the answer to both of these questions is no then you will not be able to TPR.

                You may be able to modify visitation to be at your discretion or even to terminate JUST the visitation...But to completely sever his parental rights is slim to none...with the emphasis on none.
                Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

                Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

                Bay

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Baystategirl View Post
                  Do you have a spouse that is willing to adopt? Are you very well off so that the state will not have to consider the possibility of your needing state assistance in the next 5 years?

                  If the answer to both of these questions is no then you will not be able to TPR.

                  You may be able to modify visitation to be at your discretion or even to terminate JUST the visitation...But to completely sever his parental rights is slim to none...with the emphasis on none.
                  well i'm currently single, so no spouse. i'm able to support our son with my income and help from my parents. of course child support is always helpful, but at this point i've gotten used to not having it. what is a TPR? as far as visitation goes, we've never stuck to the agreement, so it's not an issue that he doesn't see our son. meaning that he's not fighting me for the right to see him. he knows our son doesn't want to see him. in fact the last time our son was supposed to go over, he told me he didn't want to so his dad said ok. that was the last contact we had with him, before he skipped town again.

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                  • #10
                    TPR=Termination of Parental Rights.
                    Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

                    Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

                    Bay

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The abandonment clause does not work for children who have a loving parent, only those that are in the care of the state...

                      Mention to your ex that he will not need to pay child support if he voluntarily signs away his rights and he may.

                      If he does not want to, the courts simply won't allow it. Sometimes with a step-parent adoption waiting you can convince the courts that they child will be better off.

                      You can certainly file for no visitation or supervised only based on abuse and the fact that he rarely sees his son however.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by demartian View Post

                        Mention to your ex that he will not need to pay child support if he voluntarily signs away his rights and he may.
                        That's a good idea. Do you know if there is some form I would have to send him or if he just had a letter notarized agreeing to give up his rights? I don't even know how to reach him. I don't know where he is in Hawaii and i don't have his phone number. His dad won't give me that info. either, especially if he knows what I am requesting. My son's father doesn't have our info. either, since he had been arrested for violating the restraining order I had against him. I only communicate with my ex's dad and he passes on the info. I google the grounds above and termination may be granted for:

                        Extreme Parental Disinterest

                        Mental Illness or Deficiency

                        Failure of Reasonable Efforts

                        Failure to Maintain Contact

                        Failure to Provide Support

                        Child's Best Interest
                        Last edited by kattoo13; 10-18-2007, 07:25 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Offering him no support payment sin exchange for TPR may not go over as well as you like. CS is not a bargaining chip. Its morally wrong (IMHO) Not to mention that its my belief (check with an Attorney) that he would still owe what he is in arrears for so he may not be so willing. With him in another state this could prove difficult you should consult with your Attorney on how to proceed. But before anything else ask him if he is willing to give up his rights to his child?
                          http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by kattoo13 View Post
                            That's a good idea. Do you know if there is some form I would have to send him or if he just had a letter notarized agreeing to give up his rights? I don't even know how to reach him. I don't know where he is in Hawaii and i don't have his phone number. His dad won't give me that info. either, especially if he knows what I am requesting. My son's father doesn't have our info. either, since he had been arrested for violating the restraining order I had against him. I only communicate with my ex's dad and he passes on the info. I google the grounds above and termination may be granted for:

                            Extreme Parental Disinterest

                            Mental Illness or Deficiency

                            Failure of Reasonable Efforts

                            Failure to Maintain Contact

                            Failure to Provide Support

                            Child's Best Interest
                            TPR is NOT a do-it-yourself project. There is no form. A notarized statement has no meaning in the law. Not when it comes to this.

                            Public policy states that a child has the RIGHT to be supported by BOTH payments.
                            Please no private messages about your situation.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kattoo13 View Post
                              I google the grounds above and termination may be granted for:

                              Extreme Parental Disinterest

                              Mental Illness or Deficiency

                              Failure of Reasonable Efforts

                              Failure to Maintain Contact

                              Failure to Provide Support

                              Child's Best Interest
                              None of these are accepted when the child is not in state care and already has acceptable living conditions. As far as the state is concerned, removing your ex's rights is only removing the child support payments that he is required to pay and would in no way be beneficial to your child.

                              Parental rights and visitation/custody are slightly different. He can still have rights and no visitation...

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