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At what age can a child decide??

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  • At what age can a child decide??

    My ex and I were never married, and we separated before our son was born. When he was 1 year old, we went to court to discuss custody issues.
    The judge decided that I should have him 4 days, his father could have him 3 days....and on and on.
    When our son was 2, his father's visits became sporadic, and then he decided that having him every other weekend would be better for him since he was going through some problems.
    I had moved to a different town, yet always made sure they saw eachother, yet when our son was about to start kindergarten, there was a huge issue between us about it. I explained that since I had had him full time for several years at that point, he should stay where he was, and that I would not neglect his visitation, and I never have.

    Our son is going to turn 11 in a couple of months, and as of this moment, his father and I still have never gone back to court to amend the custody arrangement that had been reached 10 years earlier.

    His father has been having some severe problems, and has been reported to the SRS 2 times for abuse by neighbors when my son has visited, and 1 time by a counselor that my son had been seeing. All reports were never dealt with. I never knew what had been going on until much later.

    My son does not want to see his father as often as even every 2 weeks, and has been asking me if I could do anything about it.

    Should I go back to court to amend the custody arrangement that was set up so long ago, or should I let sleeping dogs lie?

    Sorry this is so long, but there's so much going on, and this is such a small portion. Thanks

  • #2
    Your son can make the decision for himself at age 18.

    You can try to modify the standing order, however, if you do, it will just be ordered that Dad have at least every other weekend and one evening a week, split holidays, and split summer vacation.

    Technically, as the order has never been changed, Dad can demand that you follow the order and you have no recourse.
    Last edited by mommyof4; 03-30-2007, 10:38 AM.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      At what age can a child decide?

      Thanks for the reply. I don't necessarily want to stop any visitation, granted things are going to be stable, I was just wondering if I should, after all these years, get the modification done.

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      • #4
        even sooner....

        in my situation, i was able to decide between my mom and dad and the age of 16...but generally, if he is old enough to know right from wrong, and there has been reports made against his father, i'm surprised that the court still allows your son to stay with him at all. TAKE HIS *** TO COURT! be strong!
        ONLY G♫D C♠N JUDGΣ MΣ,

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        • #5
          Originally posted by blu_buttons_22 View Post
          in my situation, i was able to decide between my mom and dad and the age of 16...but generally, if he is old enough to know right from wrong, and there has been reports made against his father, i'm surprised that the court still allows your son to stay with him at all. TAKE HIS *** TO COURT! be strong!
          First, this thread was dead. Stop necroposting.

          Second, no YOU weren't allowed to decide. The JUDGE made the decision and took your wishes into consideration. Just because you were happy with the judge's decision, that does not mean that you had the power or authority, in any capacity to make the decision. There is a huge difference.

          You don't know how the family law system actually works. Please refrain from posting inaccurate information.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

          Comment

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