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17 yr. Convicted of "Beyond Control" Idaho

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  • 17 yr. Convicted of "Beyond Control" Idaho

    My 17 year old was charged with "Beyond Control." Reason is he skipped school, would not do as we asked, threatened myself, my other teens, and said my husband was gay for not taking his side, and not respecting us as parents. He pleaded guilty to it. I thought I would never have to file charges against my own child for this.

    He now has a probation officer that he was placed on informal adjustment. My son went in and met his probation officer, signed a behavioral contract with him. This happened 2 weeks ago. EVER since court and meeting his probation officer, my son has really gotten out of control. Telling everyone and me that it is MY fault that he is on probation, I am the crazy one, threatens me daily with violence and tells me to go F**K yourself, and shut up you stupid b*t*h. The D.A. and Judge told him one thing the will not tolerate his his disrespect toward his parents. My son said he does not give a crap!

    My son says he is not going to do what the probation officer wants him to do. He says he will come and go as he pleases and when his probation officer says he cannot go spend time with a friend for another 8 weeks he says he will do it anyways. I told my son he will get violated by his p.o. He said he did not give a crap again.

    When I called his Probation officer told him what he had been done, I was told, You need family counciling. What wait until someone ends up bruttly hurt or dead by my son? Then tonight we found out because his probation officer told him no he called Child Protection Services (my son did) told them I beat him to death and he is afraid of coming home. Ok my son mind you is 6' 2" weights 160 pounds. I am 5'4 weights 118 pounds, if anything he beats me up all the time in front of the other kids, beats up my youngest son and kicks him between the legs all the time.

    My son said " if this does not get him out of the house and I do not go to jail and the others does not get removed from the home then he will keep calling and lieing to them every day until they do." I called the cops on him again because of threats and what he had done. They said the last 2 times they was out they would arrest him if they had to come out and deal with him any more. Well that was a lie they did ot want to arrest him. Said it was for the probation officer to do something about it. But the probation officer does not want to do anything about it. So I emailed his superior asking that they remove my son from the home and place him where he has to serve his next 9 months in a real strict enviorment and has strict rules to follow. He thinks it will be a picnic. I doubt anything will get done but we are growing tired of this problem. It took 2 years to get him in the system of him doing this non-stop. It is growing really old and no one now wants to do anything about it but listen to HIS lies about all of us.

    Now I said all that to ask this.....

    1. What can I do to make this probation officer do something about this before it is too late? Do I have to wait until we get many appointments for family counciling to have something done? We refuse to pay for any treatment because he refuses to go and do what is told of him. I email the Judge that tried him. So I wait for answers from them both. Meanwhile what are opitions while we live in constant fear? He wants to act and be treated like an adult. I would like to throw him out but he is court ordered to live here until August 31, 2007 that is when he will be 18 1/2.
    2. What will Child Protection Services do by beliving his lies? We do not want to loose our other teens or go to jail because he chooses to lie and try to get his way. What can we do?

    Any and all advise is more than welcomed. I am sorry this is long but we are finally at our wits ends. Help us please we are begging for help and protection from the likes of our son.
    Last edited by popcornstreet; 02-15-2007, 10:19 PM.

  • #2
    If your son hits you or your other children, call the police each and every time. If his po isn't any help, then call his supervisor, and be the biggest pain the the butt these people have ever met. March yourself down to their offices and sit there all day. Become a regular fixture at the police station. Don't call and wait on hold. Dial 911. If your son is kicking and beating the others, it IS an emergency.

    Insist on pressing charges. If he kicks your youngest son between the legs all the time, he may actually cause permenant damage. He could rupture a testicle or damage his urethra, both of which will need surgery to correct and could result in deformity. You need to protect that child. He probably needs to go to the doctor regardless.

    If they return him to you, send him to teen boot camp. It is not as crazy expensive as you think, and they will work with you on payment options.

    Your obligation is to protect your other children.

    YOU need to call CPS and request that they investigate the home. That way, you will not be on the defensive end of their visit. If you cannot get your son out of the home, and you cannot protect your other children from him, then yes, those other children may be removed for their own safety.
    Last edited by MomofBoys; 02-16-2007, 06:53 AM.

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    • #3
      Maybe a domestic abuse center could help you plan to protect everyone from him? They would know about the local resouces available to you.

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      • #4
        He has been arressted.

        If your son hits you or your other children, call the police each and every time. If his po isn't any help, then call his supervisor, and be the biggest pain the the butt these people have ever met. March yourself down to their offices and sit there all day. Become a regular fixture at the police station. Don't call and wait on hold. Dial 911. If your son is kicking and beating the others, it IS an emergency.
        Well something did have to happen and it did before he went to school. I wa talkng to my daughter about spendingthe night with a friend of her's when he came in and yell I know you are talking about me, and left. I was going to leave it at that. Then I was going to go into the kitchen (I have to go up a set of stairs when I leave my room) when I got to the top of the steps he came at me at full force, and he was gong to punch me in the face, when I put my arm up to protect my face, when he punched it hard and then tried to push me down my stairs. My 16 yr old daughter yelled at him and told him to stop, the he laughed and said she desrved it. I then called the cops had him arrested after he hit my arm another time. Paramedics came and had splinted up my arm so i could go to the hospital. I found out he broke it in 2 places. I pressed charges for assulted battery. When he goes to courton Monday my husband and I aregoing to tell the judge we do not want him back and we want a no contact order for the whole famly for a year, so he cannot try calling the kids or us.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by popcornstreet View Post
          Well something did have to happen and it did before he went to school. I wa talkng to my daughter about spendingthe night with a friend of her's when he came in and yell I know you are talking about me, and left. I was going to leave it at that. Then I was going to go into the kitchen (I have to go up a set of stairs when I leave my room) when I got to the top of the steps he came at me at full force, and he was gong to punch me in the face, when I put my arm up to protect my face, when he punched it hard and then tried to push me down my stairs. My 16 yr old daughter yelled at him and told him to stop, the he laughed and said she desrved it. I then called the cops had him arrested after he hit my arm another time. Paramedics came and had splinted up my arm so i could go to the hospital. I found out he broke it in 2 places. I pressed charges for assulted battery. When he goes to courton Monday my husband and I aregoing to tell the judge we do not want him back and we want a no contact order for the whole famly for a year, so he cannot try calling the kids or us.

          My God! I am so sorry you and your family are going through this!! Has your son ever had any neuropsychological testing to determine what is the cause of this violent and destructive behavior?
          Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

          Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

          Bay

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          • #6
            I hope all goes well. The courts may give you a difficult time seeking a no contact order against your own son. They should have given you documentation about a victim's advocate assigned to your case or the D.A. They may be able to help if you run into problems.

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            • #7
              has you son gone through neuropsychological testing?
              He was tested 9 years ago with ADHD. He WAS on Adderall, but he was getting to the place where he threaten to chop us up, or soot us, or burn the house down with us in it asleep. So I called his doctor told him what he had been saying Doctor pulled medication and now thinks he is bi-polar and told my son at his own expense he needs to pay to be re-evualated. He has arriagement court Monday I do not need to be present.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by popcornstreet View Post
                He was tested 9 years ago with ADHD. He WAS on Adderall, but he was getting to the place where he threaten to chop us up, or soot us, or burn the house down with us in it asleep. So I called his doctor told him what he had been saying Doctor pulled medication and now thinks he is bi-polar and told my son at his own expense he needs to pay to be re-evualated. He has arriagement court Monday I do not need to be present.
                I am just so sorry for you all...including your son. If this is a mental illness, and it does seem that way, this will be a life long battle for him. Perhaps he will now get the kind of help he really needs.

                Good luck and keep us posted...
                Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

                Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

                Bay

                Comment

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