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need some answers desperately in maryland Maryland

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  • need some answers desperately in maryland Maryland

    ok I'm hoping to gets some answer and set my mind at ease.
    with out giving the long drawn out storie. The jist is i was seeing a woman for about 9 months and we split for various reasons. well she is now 4 months pregnate and back with her x. I want to be there to see the sonagrams and for the birth but I've been told untill paternaty is establish I do not have the right to be there. Is this true? Also, the x is tryin to get his name on the birth certificate and pushin for the two of them to have sole custody. If parternity is established and i am the father can he legally do that? And yes i have a great job and a stable living arrangement also lots of family support. If you have any answers for me they would be greatly appreciated thanks
    Last edited by mylilone; 09-08-2009, 06:55 PM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by mylilone View Post
    ok I'm hoping to gets some answer and set my mind at ease.
    with out giving the long drawn out storie. The jist is i was seeing a woman for about 9 months and we split for various reasons. well she is now 4 months pregnate and back with her x. I want to be there to see the sonagrams and for the birth but I've been told untill paternaty is establish I do not have the right to be there. Is this true? Also, the x is tryin to get his name on the birth certificate and pushin for the two of them to have sole custody. If parternity is established and i am the father can he legally do that? And yes i have a great job and a stable living arrangement also lots of family support. If you have any answers for me they would be greatly appreciated thanks
    Yes, it is true that you do not have a legal right for anything during the pregnancy or birth.

    Unfortunately, Maryland doesn't have a putitive father's registry.
    The only thing you can do will be to wait until the baby is born, then immediatley file a paternity suit, which you can do even if the BF signs the AOP at the time of birth.

    For now, it'll be worth the cost to get a consult with an attorney who will be able to tell you the exact steps that your state requires for establishing paternity.

    If you are declared the father and ex has already placed his name on BC, you can also file to have the BC amended. At the point of paternity being established, her BF will not have any rights.

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    • #3
      Having seen the pain that people go through with joint custody, 2 sets of parents, 1 1/2 sets of parents, etc. I recommend that you ask yourself why you want to do this. If it is because you truly want to be a part of the child's life and are prepared to make a long term commitment to be part of its life, both in terms of your time and money, regardless of who you become involved with in the future it may make sense to pursue this.

      But, if it is for any other reason, such as you have latent hopes of getting back together with her, you want to interfere with her relationship with her new (and old, I guess) boyfriend, etc., give it a little thought (privately, no need for a debate on these issues here). In this case, consider that the child may be better off if you just walk away -- and as an aside, it may be easier for you to start a relationship with someone else without the commitment to the child.
      Please post questions on the forum rather than sending me a private message or email. That way others who have similar issues have access to the discussion.

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