Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

"Abusive" mother problems

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • "Abusive" mother problems

    Originally posted by turbowray View Post
    What you can do depends on how you play a part in this picture. Are you the boyfriend? How old are you?
    You know im in the same boat. but its my girlfriend that is saying those things. shes 17 and its gotten to the point that her ex boyfriend would egg on her mother to hit her. and he would hit her too. the only reason that they broke up was because of outside pressure from the church they were attending. thats when i met her. now we love each other and she wants to be with me, and i want her to be with me too. i want to take care of her and love her like she should be loved. she always talks about running away. and there are times when i want her to come live with me. but im freaked out about the police getting involved. i have talked to her mom about signing a marriage consent form and i have tried to explain that all i want for her daughter is to be happy and cared for. but she doesnt listen. she left her daughter live with her Ex for a year. and during those times it was always fighting and a fight of control over her. all i want is her to be happy and safe. i dont want to cause problems but i love her and thats no way to live. her mother is constantly telling her that she is a **** and that shes acting like a ****.
    Im losing hope for this situation. i really dont want to get the police involved because they are going to shrug it off and shes 17 already so i really dont know what would happen. right now im just trying to think and keep her at least in that house for now. she has already told me that she was in the process of running away and one time she actually did....it frightens me that she would go out and leave her house like that.....like i said i love this girl to death and i see a real future in us but im worried about her mother. and really what would become my girlfriend. we have talked and talked and its to the point that her mother is watching her every move and taking her phone. we talk in secrecy. im not trying to be a hero, but nobody should live in a house like that. shes too old to have anyone put there hands on her. just recently she was crying and really trying to get me to take her in when she runs away and well i dont want to be in trouble. i dont want to have a criminal record. im trying to keep myself clear of any problems like that.

    What should i do? like i said shes 17. her mother is not her legal guardian, her grandparents are. and this is going to be the second year she actually lives with her mother. right now im trying to keep the peace with her mother and get into any kind of conflicts with her.....even though i really would like to give this crazy lady a piece of my mind. shes not worth getting in trouble over. but its just her daughter is my girlfriend. and i need to at least some kind of information to put her at ease for the time being. right now we are waiting untill she is 18 to make any moves but she is always pressing the subject. and im running out of things to tell her to comfort her.

  • #2
    artman, you should have started your own new thread with your question & furnished the name of your state. You posted your question to another poster's old thread from 2007. I will start a new thread for you.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

    Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

    Comment


    • #3
      There really is nothing to tell her. Until she is 18, she lives where her parent or legal guardian says she lives, and there is no law you can invoke that will force her parent or legal guardian to allow her to move out or give permission for an underage marriage. If she is being abused, you can call CPS. Otherwise, she waits till she is 18.
      The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

      Comment


      • #4
        He only wants help under his terms. It seems this is more about his desires than helping her read this http://www.parentnook.com/forum/view...p?f=144&t=3606
        http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

        Comment


        • #5
          There is one thing, and one thing only you can do.

          You can call CPS.

          No matter how much you love this girl, you have no legal standing to decide what happens to her or where she goes. You call CPS, or you do nothing. There ARE no other options. Not under the law.
          The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

          Comment


          • #6
            Yes but OP feels or assume a CPS intervention will land her (the GF) is worse conditions. If you read link it seems OP might be more self motivated than helpful, I stress might
            http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

            Comment


            • #7
              I did read the link. That's why I responded again.

              If the poster doesn't want to call CPS, then he's out of options. His gf is a minor; he is not a relative; he has no legal standing to do diddly squat. If he doesn't want to call the agency that has jurisdication to take action (regardless of his reasons), then there are no other legal options open to him.

              When his gf is 18, she can walk out the door and never look back. Until then, her parent or legal guardian is the ONLY one, other than the state, who has any say about where she lives, where she goes, or who she can see.
              The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by panther10758 View Post
                He only wants help under his terms. It seems this is more about his desires than helping her read this http://www.parentnook.com/forum/view...p?f=144&t=3606
                please understand that i have dealt with CPS im not trying to get her in that same predictament. i was trying to find some loop hole to get her out of that house. she doesnt want to talk to CPS and she doesnt want to go into the system. there would be no reason to call if shes not willing to talk. that would only make matters worse for her.

                Comment


                • #9
                  As you were told on other site you are "assuming" these things and as you were told on both sites CPS is her means to solve her issues. There are no loopholes! If you want to help her then she needs CPS its that simple. I can guarantee no matter what avenue you or she pursues CPS will get involved at some point
                  http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by panther10758 View Post
                    As you were told on other site you are "assuming" these things and as you were told on both sites CPS is her means to solve her issues. There are no loopholes! If you want to help her then she needs CPS its that simple. I can guarantee no matter what avenue you or she pursues CPS will get involved at some point
                    yea okay. at this point i have given up. there is nothing for me to do, other than that im just going to try and reason with her mother. im tired of trying to split my head trying to think of other things to do.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      There IS no loophole to get her out of the house. That's the whole point.

                      Either the state removes her, which means involving CPS, or she stays put. Unless she has permission from parent/legal guardian. There ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS.
                      The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by artman View Post
                        yea okay. at this point i have given up. there is nothing for me to do, other than that im just going to try and reason with her mother. im tired of trying to split my head trying to think of other things to do.


                        I'd hazard that YOU trying to reason with Mom will also make things worse.

                        There aren't many parents who take kindly to being "reasoned with" about their parenting - not by well-meaning relatives, heart-felt friends, not by the police, not by CPS, and certainly not by someone who might be perceived as an interfering little upstart with an unhealthy interest in their minor child.

                        (I'm not saying that's what the OP is - but that's certainly how some parents might perceive his/her interference....)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Shouldn't "talking" be a first option not a last one?
                          http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            She's 17 and you are....? How old? The sheriff and CPS will ask that too.

                            Wait it out. That's all you can do, it looks like.
                            I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
                            Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
                            I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
                            Don't worry, be happy.

                            http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X