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Need help with son... Texas

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  • Need help with son... Texas

    I have a son who will be 17 in Sept. Last week he was suspended from school for going to school under the influence. He has been steadily getting in trouble, we have found weed in his room, he is lying about where he is going, stealing from us, going into rages, fighting at home and at school and a whole lot of other things. We also have a 11 year old daughter that watches all of this go on. We have tried to get the police involved but until he actually breaks a law they won't do anything. He is going into a Rehab on Thursday with the help of our local Alchohol and Drug Abuse Council. He says when he turns 17 he wants to move out and I am willing to let him if I can make sure that I am not legally responsible for him when he gets into trouble ( that sounds horrible but I am at the end of my rope). He currently has two tickets, one for fighting at school and one for a MIP for cigarettes. Him and his friends emptied our AC of freeon which he doesn't seem to care that it could have killed him. I looked into Emancipation but he hasn't been able to keep a job and I did not allow him to get his license because he was smoking. Can I legally emancipate him. He says one of his friends parents said that he can come live with them so he wants to quit school and go to work and live with his friend. Can I emancipate him and let hiim do this?

  • #2
    That's not what emancipation is for. No judge will emancipate a kid with that record. Sorry.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.


    • #3
      Originally posted by cbg View Post
      That's not what emancipation is for. No judge will emancipate a kid with that record. Sorry.


      Kiddo needs more, not less, adult supervision.

      However, would CHINS apply here?


      • #4
        I think that is only in MA, not Texas.


        • #5
          So far he does not have a criminal record.. at least not enough for him to go to juvi. We are the ones putting him in rehab because I don't want to see him go down the path his dad did. We have tried everything and are to the point that we don't know what else to do... the last time I did try to actually spank him.. he called the cops on me for child abuse. He has come after me a few times like he wants to hit me and he has shoved me but once again in the State of Texas that isn't enough to get him some help. We have talked to the probation dept here and they are like until he gets in trouble with the law there isn't anything we can do. I want to help him before it goes that far....


          • #6
            Agreed with the above posters. This is the polar opposite of what emancipation was made for. I do not know of the options available to you, but while he is in your care you need to do everything you can to try to help him. Once he is 18, if he runs off and refuses your help then that is his choice. But until then, it is your responsibility to do what you can.


            • #7
              Huffing freon, drinking, smoking weed, lying, stealing, smoking cigarettes, and being a general anti social terror. Sounds like a 16 year old that thinks he knows it all.

              It could be worse. He could be MUCH worse.

              Let rehab have a shot. The alternative is to send him to work on a farm bucking hay all summer. A taste of what life is like without a decent job might be just what he needs. Times have changed since I was a kid.


              • #8
                Agreed with GotSmart. Your child -- and he is that until he is 18 -- is your responsibility. Rehab is a great start, so well done on getting that going. And, yes, having him do something physically challenging for the summer such as bucking hay would probably be at least as effective as rehab.

                Make sure he's getting LOTS of vitamins and sleep while he's going through rehab. His body is depleted because of the damage he's doing to it. Probably about half of what you're seeing when he's acting out is a result of that.

                Also, and this may be a tough one for you, you're going to need to take a look at how you as a parent can do things differently to help him. Maybe making a change as simple as concentrating on what he's doing that's right (as difficult as that may be right now) instead of how you don't want him to turn out like his father and all the things he's doing that are just like what his dad did.

                Don't expect immediate miracles, but if you hold the line and keep focusing on what's right about him, about his actions and attitudes, you're going to see more and more of that and less and less of the stuff you don't want.

                And avoid inciting him. If you know what sets him off, don't do it.

                You're in a tough position, but as his parent you have a responsibility to help him turn his life into a positive direction. This is where you will need to muster all of your resources, and keep your eye on the goal no matter what.


                • #9
                  (There are CHINS programs available in several other states, incidentally - just FYI)

                  (Didn't check for Texas though - just saying!)